HYDRA

"Jet fuel can't melt steel beams!" Kaminari said woozily from Izuku's back. Sparks ran along Izuku's body as he fired a laser beam through a battalion of Robocops.

"Is he okay?" Ochako asked.

"It's his Quirk, apparently," Sato said. "He gets stupider as he uses it."

"The moon landing was a hoax!" Kaminari shouted.

Bender Bending Rodriguez leapt out of alley and swung at Iida. Laughing, the robot bent over and said, "Bite my shiny metal ass!"

"Okay." Izuku chomped a hole in the metal. Bender looked at the damage, said "My programming isn't designed for this shit," and unscrewed his own head.

"The earth is flat! I don't see it curving underneath our feet, can you?"

"Warning, low battery," Izuku said, looking back at Kaminari. "I estimate I have two minutes of run time until Kaminari-san's IQ hits the single digits."

"COVID isn't real! It's a hoax invented by Bill Gates to put microchips in the vaccines!"

Ochako shuddered. "If that's what he's saying now, I don't want to know how much stupider he can get."

The ground shook. Three robotic, serpentine heads slithered from the depths of U.A., each scanning their surroundings and firing plasma beams at anything that moved.

Izuku pinched Kaminari, shocking him into shocking Izuku until he had no charge left. Kaminari dropped to the ground with a dopey grin, giving the sky a thumbs up and mumbling, "Aliens made the pyramids."

"I've analyzed the specs of the mecha-hydra," Izuku said, pointing at the giant robot. "Each head has a distinct computer, and the entire structure is designed to build two heads for each one that's destroyed. The only way to disable it is to simultaneously destroy all three computers located in different spots in each head."

"Excellent work, Midoriya!" Iida said. "Did you use your Quirk-enhanced senses to deduce all that?"

"No, I consulted the internet. Maijima-san made a Facebook post three days ago at 2:03 AM with full schematics and combat data for this robot."

"Even cleverer. Excellent researching! I was right to hold you in such high regard!"

"It will take all my power to fire a shot strong enough to take out all three computers. Iida, I need you to keep their attention."

"Understood!"

"Ochako, make me lighter."

Holding back her vomit, Ochako tapped him and gave a queasy thumbs up.

"And Sato, throw me on my signal, at a 42.6-degree angle, using 5525.6 Newtons of force."

"Uhh… what?"

Izuku blinked and adjusted his plans. "Just throw me really hard."

"Why didn't you say so?" Sato snorted a line of sugar and bulked up. "Okay, here we go!"

"Wait, I didn't say-"

"Yeet!"

As Izuku went hurtling through the air, he made some last-second calculations, shot short bursts of plasma from his feet to course-correct, and lined up the shot. As Iida raced past, all three heads turned to fire at him, giving Izuku a shot at all three heads.

A brilliant green beam vaporized every head in an instant.

499