MIRACLE

"Push!" Private shouted.

Rico moaned as the bulge in his crop crept up his throat. Kowalski said, "Deep breaths, Rico. Your throat is almost dilated enough to bring whatever's in you into the world."

All the while Rico struggled, the Turtles fought off the robotic hedgehog and Robotnik's other inventions. "Hey fellas, we could use some help here!"

"Can't you see that Rico's going through a very important moment?" Skipper shot back. "The nerve of you four."

Michaelangelo got punted through a wall by robo-Sonic. Skipper corrected himself. "You three."

Rico wailed as the bulge crept upwards. Private hopped in place "Yes, that's it. Just one more push!"

"I think it's getting stuck." Kowalski took out a scalpel. "We might need to do a Cesarean."

Rico's eyes went wide. With one final grunt, he forced the bulge up his throat and out his beak. Izuku Midoriya hit the metal floor with a thunk.

"It's a boy!" Private shouted.

Kowalski slapped Izuku on the bottom. Izuku looked at him and asked, "Are you attempting to diagnose malignant prostate tumors?"

"How peculiar." Kowalski prodded his chest and said, "The newborn isn't crying. Private, I need plastic tubing, two rubber balloons, and a tire pump, stat."

Private punched Rico's stomach. "It's no good! Rico's still sore from labor!"

"Now hold on a second." Skipper critically eyed Izuku. "We all know that Rico's Gastric Hammerspace Quirk cannot disgorge biologically active materials, correct?"

"That is the stated function of his Quirk, yes."

"And yet, here before us, we have this 'child', freshly disgorged from Rico's Hammerspace, incidentally with a Quirk that replaces all the squishy bits with nuts and bolts?"

"Entirely correct, Skipper."

"Then that can only mean one thing." Skipper slapped Rico across the face. "Rico's been replaced with a robot this whole time!"

Rico went "Bwahh?" Private and Kowalski both gasped. Skipper slapped Rico again and asked, "What did you do with our comrade, you clumsy hunk of metal?"

Rico babbled and pleaded his innocence. Skipper slapped him again. "Clamming up, are you? Fortunately, I know exactly how to make robots talk. Kowalski, get the music player."

Kowalski pulled a boombox out of Rico's stomach. When the cassette tape rolled, a voice asked, "Which came first, the chicken or the egg?"

"Uhh, egg?" Rico answered.

"This statement is false. Does a set of all sets contain itself? This entry level position requires five years of work experience."

The boombox exploded. Skipper scowled. "Even the most diabolical paradoxes leave this robot unfazed. Looks like we have no choice." He cracked his knuckles. "Get me my frying pan."

As Kowalski tried pulling it out of Rico's stomach and Rico kept his beak closed, Robotnik emerged from the ruins of his self-destructed robots.

"Curse you, penguins!" Robotnik shouted. "I'll get you all next time!"

Robotnik sprinted away with truly impressive speed. Skipper went to slap Rico again, but Robotnik popped back in and said, "Oh, and Izuku, tell your mother that I said hi."

498

All the world's super geniuses get together for Sunday brunch once a month and share plans for taking over the world.