A/N: Hey all! I know fanfiction has been pretty wonky about sending email notifications lately, so if you haven't already checked out Ch 7, be sure to do that!

Summary: The gang finds themselves the center of (somewhat) unwanted attention.

Well, if this wasn't an awkward situation he'd found himself in, Aether mused as a young woman was unwittingly pressed against him by the crowd. Or rather, it was a now-female Zhongli whose breasts were currently being squished against him, prompting the blond Traveler to grimace.

Despite their assurances that Archons were ultimately genderless (Ei being somewhat of an exception to this. Apparently, the puppet body she now inhabited was designed to be female and was difficult to alter), Aether — having known the God of Contracts for a good few years at this point — found himself struggling to come to terms with this version of his freeloading friend.

"Apologies to you." Even in female form, Zhongli's voice was rather deep and taciturn for a woman, further disillusioning him from the change.

Venti on the other hand was a little easier to adapt to. The God of Song and Freedom had always been rather androgynous. The only real change made to his body had been a pair of mounds upon the chest and slightly softening his facial features.

"Ehe~" The bard in question giggled in an airheaded fashion as she clung to his arm. "Oh, my beloved Traveler, wherever shall we go next~"

"Please don't make a fool of yourself, Barbatos," Zhongli huffed, crossing her arms under her rather large chest and causing them to bounce slightly.

"Please don't do that again," Aether requested, palming his face.

"See? I—"

"I meant you," the Traveler stressed, looking at the Geo God pointedly. "It's now illegal for you to do that." Said god's eyes widened and she pointed at herself in question.

"Me?! But what did I—"

"I have returned," Ei's voice prompted them to turn to see her holding four skewers of tricolor dango. Aether simply sighed as she passed the confectionary around. He paused for a moment, noticing she'd left none for herself.

"Holding yourself back, Ei?" he teased. "That's unlike you." She answered by reaching into her Mujina cloak and retrieving a bulging sack. The woman released the clasp, revealing dozens upon dozens of festival sweets. "I should have known…"

"What do you mean?" Ei cocked her head. "I am holding back. The stall vendors unfortunately ran out, so I wasn't able to buy as many as I wanted…"

"By the way," Paimon spoke up as she nibbled on her dango. "What's up with you now, Venti? Why are you being so cuddly all of a sudden? Earlier, you seemed hella mad that Miko forced you to do this."

"I don't like being forced to do anything; God of Freedom and all that." The green-clad bard merely shrugged. She paused as she took a bite of her snack. "But even I have to admit, it is kinda hilarious how Aether's brain is having a meltdown trying to process everything. May as well milk it while it lasts."

"Go fuck yourself, Venti," Aether flipped the bard off.

"Fuck me yourself, you coward," Venti said, waggling her eyebrows suggestively.

"Indeed," Ei spoke up, nodding sagely. "I do not believe it is possible to 'fuck oneself'. By definition, 'to fuck' is to engage in coitus, thus requiring at least two participants. Otherwise it would be mere masturbation, though I suppose there is such a thing as mutual mastur—"

"Ei, I love you but please stop talking!" The Traveler merely groaned as people around them began whispering and giving them disgusted looks.

"Kids these days…"

"What exactly is his relationship with those women he's with?!"

"Talking about that sort of thing in public…!"

"There are children around here!"

"Someone go get the Tenryou Commision!"

"Uh… P-Paimon just wants everyone to know that she is not with them!" the white-haired fairy exclaimed. "Paimon is not associated with these people!"

"What is going on over here?!" a voice demanded.

The group turned to see Kujou Sara, who had a frown on her face as she strode up to them with bow in hand. Ei quickly made sure her hood was up and placed her kitsune festival mask upon her face.

"What is going on?" Sara repeated, looking around at the chaos.

"Public indecency is what!" An old lady snapped, glaring at the group of degenerates. "This lecher has warped these poor young ladies into harlots!"

"What." Sara asked tonelessly.

"WHAT?" Aether exclaimed indignantly. Venti's eyes suddenly had a mischievous spark in them.

"Iya~! Tabibito-kyuuuuuuuun~" She said in an overtly wanton fashion as she began hugging herself, a heavy flush on her face. "I-I can't hold it back anymore!"

'Venti you little shit!' Aether paled as more people began whispering. Loudly.

"...Traveler," Sara pinched the bridge of her nose. "Our nation owes you a great debt, but please refrain from disturbing the peace with your… kept women."

"They're not my—"

"Kya~" Venti cried, latching onto his arm. "So cruel! Does our love mean nothing?!"

The tengu warrior stared at them for a long while before sighing. "...I'm going to have to ask you to come with me to the Tenryou Commission," she paused and turned to his companions as more guards began to appear behind her. "All of you."

Venti, who'd been looking all too smug suddenly paled. As her fellow Archons turned to her with a glare, she could only say one thing.

"...ehe?"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'EHE'?!" Paimon exploded.

Elsewhere

"Oh this is just too much fun!" Miko cackled as she watched the ongoing chaos through the eyes of a local kitsune she'd tasked with following the Traveler's party.

"I'm glad you're having a good time, Your Majesty," Jean said with a smile as she watched Barbara try her hand at a goldfish catching game.

"Huh? Oh, yes," the pink-haired fox said with a demure cough, hiding her grin behind a festival fan. "The festival is just getting started. And I intend to enjoy it to its fullest."

"What do we do, what do we do?" Paimon fretted behind him as guards began to close ranks on them. "If they arrest us, they'll definitely figure out who Ei is! And if they figure that out, Jean and the others might come investigate and find Venti and Zhongli and then all hell will break loose!"

Aether grimaced. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Ei tensing. His sensitivity to the elements allowed him to feel a steady build up of Electro energy beginning to form. She looked ready to force their way out.

"...It looks like there's only one thing we can do…" He murmured, catching the attention of his companions. "I'll have to use an ancient technique. A technique passed down my family for generations."

"An ancient technique?" Ei murmured. "What kind of technique is it…?"

"I'm gonna use my legs," Aether said, slapping his left thigh. Paimon's eyes widened.

"W-Wait, Aether…" The sprite stuttered. "Are you—"

"Your legs?" Venti asked. "What are you planning to do?"

Aether took a deep breath… And promptly turned tail and broke into a sprint.

"NIGERUNDAYOOOOOOOOO!" He shrieked. "Run for your lives!"

"Paimon knew this would happen!" Paimon screeched as she wasted no time following. The three Archons, Sara, the Tenryou guards, and the civilian onlookers could only look on in shock as the Great Hero and his companion left behind a visible dust cloud in their haste to escape.

"Dammit!" Venti cried out before sprinting after them. "Wait for me!"

"Best we follow." Zhongli suggested before she took off after them with Ei hot on her heels.

"W-Wait!" Sara called out, raising her bow. "Halt! In the name of the Sho— Er, in the name of the Empress!" The guards surged after them but quickly found themselves being slowed by the throngs of people gathered in the streets. The tengu warrior grimaced. She couldn't fire any arrows with so many civilians around. But they were quickly losing sight of them…

Making a decision, she leapt up onto a rooftop and began scanning the crowds. To her frustration, she could find no trace of the troublemakers. She continued to leap from roof to roof, frantically searching to no avail. It was as though they'd vanished off the face of Tevyat! Eventually, she jumped back down to ground level and was greeted by one of her men.

"We've lost them, General," he said with a salute. "What are your orders?"

"...Leave them for now," she said reluctantly. "If the opportunity presents itself, we'll capture them but we can't spare the manpower to actively search. Shameless though their behavior may be, it is ultimately harmless. We need to focus on maintaining peace during the Shin Narukami-sai."

"...With all due respect ma'am," another soldier spoke up. "Can we even arrest the Traveler? I mean, he faced the Shogun and emerged victorious. What can we do to stop him?"

Sara merely sighed.

A/N: Venti is such a little shithead, but I can't help but love him.

Natlan is just a hop and a skip away now along with our glorious anniversary rewards. Genshin could never?!

Published: August 22, 2024

Updated: August 22, 2024