As he read each new line his face became more and more concerned. It felt like eternity had passed, since he started reading. She could not move even her finger. Could she breathe even?

That was the end.

He knows.

Or did he, really?

As he finished, he looked her deep into her eyes, his brows raised in a question that was about to leave his lips. "Are you…?" It was all he managed, putting the letter back into its envelope, his eyes following his movement. As soon as it was done, he still didn't look up at her. He threw a glance at the celling of the tunnel they were standing in, he looked down… Was he avoiding looking at her? It definitely felt like it.

She stared straight at him as she said. "Yes. I am Lady Whistledown." Just as words left her lips, they both been startled by town clock announcing midnight.

The moment felt lost, both of them were out of that trance, looking out in the direction of the main street. It took him a moment to turn to leave. He started walking in the direction they both came from. Was he leaving? – she thought. Her soul wanted to run after him and talk to him, while her body felt glued to the ground. She could not move. She felt paralyzed in the idea of losing him like that.

Her ring finger moved slightly, just as he turned around rather swiftly.

"Let's go." His voice was harsh. She had never heard him sound like that. It wasn't quite anger though. It felt more like disappointment.

Those words didn't awaken her. She still was standing there, feeling like it was hard to breath.

He reached for her hand. He reached for her. "Now." Voice still harsh. Strong. Annoyed.

He grabbed her hand and she left her place of hiding. She went with him. Not knowing where. She just simply followed him.

As they were getting closer to the carriage, he made a movement with his hand, still holding the envelope, for her to get inside. But she was frozen. The only movement she managed was to squeeze his hand as she was holding on for her dear life. In a way he was her life.

"Get inside, Penelope." He said, opening the door and moving their tied hands in the direction of the entrance. She gave him a scared look and then her eyes unwantedly looked at the door, her hand slipped from his and she went inside.

Instantly she moved closer to the other side of the carriage, sitting as possibly far away from him, no matter where he would sit. But clearly, he didn't get the message. He got inside, closing the door and sat right near her, just as she sort of made room for him, choosing that place, sitting on the other side of the door.

"Home. Take the longest way you know." He announced to the driver. She took a deep breath. But never did she let it out. It seemed she forgot people need air to survive. Her face going pale.

He still didn't look in her direction, since that quick glace as he guided her inside the carriage. He threw the letter to the other side of the carriage, saying "We will talk about it later." And finally, he turned his face to hers.

As soon as he looked at her face, even in this dark, he couldn't help but notice her paleness. His hand instantly reaching out for hers. All emotions that he felt before seemed forgotten as he let it out "Breathe, Pen, breathe." He was indeed concerned, as by now she didn't make any sound since saying those words in the tunnel.

"Pen?" He tried squeezing her hand and she did squeeze back. "Pen, please breathe. You don't look good. Pen?" Was she even hearing him?

The change on his face was sudden but she noticed it. And maybe that was exactly what made her let out a deep breath. "Pen, do u hear me?" He asked as the single tear ran down her cheek, as she simply nodded.

His glance shifted to that tear and it didn't take him any time to pull her into warmest embrace he could ever give somebody. That move was filled with care and concern he didn't know he was capable of.

"Pen, please say something." His voice was sounding begging by now. Was he to harsh with her? – he thought.

"We have to go back." She sounded like she was fully crying by now. He could not see her face, while hugging her so tight, her chin tightly pressed against his shoulder.

"What?" he asked as he felt something wet on his shoulder. She was indeed crying. Crying in his embrace. Because of his reaction, or...?

"I have to bring this column to the print, before morning." She said though taking deep breath, trying to control her emotions.

He let go of her and moved away to look her straight in her eyes. "You're not printing that." Her mouth opened in a silent "oh" as he continued "We're not going back. That's the end of discussion." He wasn't harsh but at the same time his sounded really confident.

"We will talk about this Lady Whistledown situation tomorrow. For now, I have other questions."

Her plan of getting rid of her secret before it comes out was ruined. And she felt scared. It felt like agony. It felt like she was losing him and it felt like her worst fear came true. Each second was bringing only more uncertainty. He didn't want to discuss it today. He found out but he had other questions. What could be more important that this big thing hanging between them? She was confused and fearful while a small feather of hope was lingering in her soul at the same time.

She looked at him, waiting for him to ask his questions. Her hand started to slip from his as if giving him a reassurance and space to continue. But he only increased his hold on her hand, not letting her slip from him this easily. The truth was he needed to feel her being there, being aware of what's he's about to say.

"Pen, you could've always… always share anything with me. The truth is I am not mad about you being Lady Whistledown. I am indeed mad you kept it from me. So why? Why did you? Why didn't you tell me?" Pain ran though each of the words he was saying. "And being alone in the town in the middle of the night. That's unspeaking, what were you even thinking?" Now he sounded mad. "I don't want to even imagine how many times you did it. How many chances there was you could…" He couldn't bare to say what was on his mind.

"Colin…" His name left her lips. "I can take care of myself." This time she said it warmly, like a sun hugging him on a summer day.

"Then what good am I to you, Pen? Who am I to you then, if you could do everything by yourself?" He felt like he was additional thing, nobody needed until the favorable was finished. "Why would you need a husband if you are so independent?"

"Colin, no, no. It's not…" She held his hand tighter and moved a bit closer to his face, one of her hands flying to his face. "You're not just a husband-to-be." Her glance slide to his lips then back to his eyes. "I love you." She said as her fingers got lost in his hair. "I love you and I don't need you to be there for me to save me. I appreciate it. But I don't need it. I simply want you close to me all the time. I want to see your face when I wake up. And…" she took a deep breath and swallowed as she felt his hand on her thigh though her dress. "And believe me, I wanted to tell you. I wanted. But it was never the right time. Before…" his hand squeezed the dress putting it a bit higher up her leg, he was just trying to keep calm. She wished he knew what he was doing to her, touching her like that in that carriage. "Before everything happened…" Did he just touched her ring finger on the hand he was still holding with his left hand as his eyes darkened? "in the carriage…" she tried to continue but words felt so unnecessary. "I just couldn't tell you before, but since then, that was what filled my every thought. Exactly for that I wrote that. I know how much you hate Lady…" she didn't get the change to finish as his lips landed on hers.

Powerful and warm, while his hand pushed the hem of her dress all the way up. His hand sliding on her leg, higher and higher as his tongue slipped in her mouth, while his other hand moved to the back of her neck, holding her still.