19
"Hey," Jamie greeted Sydney when she opened the door to the apartment.
"Come on in. James is almost ready." She immediately waved him through as they too had just walked in; James was in his room packing a bag for the weekend. Sending him off to Jamie's was still difficult, but like everyone around her encouraged her to do, she used the time to keep busy which really meant staying distracted until James came back home. Sydney was using the free time to focus on herself by getting more involved with work she would normally delegate to others and by socializing with friends she didn't see enough. She was rediscovering the city in a way that didn't require that she first consider whether an activity was appropriate for a child. Yet, she felt a deep sadness when handing him off and wondered if that feeling would ever ease. She was further conflicted by how easily James had already adjusted to their schedule and his time away from her. She tried seeing the good in it - it had to mean he was happy and adjusted to having his father in his life. That was a good thing. Even so, it was hard for her to do, and was about to become even more difficult with what she was about to propose.
"Great," Jamie said and slid his hands into his pockets as they stood in the entryway. He thought he noted a nervous energy from his ex but ignored his Spidey senses.
"While we wait, I thought we could talk. Come on back," she said and walked to the kitchen, expecting him to follow behind.
Oh, maybe he was right after all, he thought. "Sure. Everything okay?" Jamie brought his hands out of his pockets and followed her, stopping at the kitchen island while Sydney moved to a cabinet and pulled out a glass. Always needing to anticipate any situation, his mind quickly ran through a multitude of possibilities for this impending talk, the first being the efforts they had been making to iron out a custody plan - something that eventually would become more official.
"Oh, yeah, everything's good…busy, but good. Can I get you a drink?" she offered, gesturing to a second glass.
"Nah, I'm fine," he declined.
Sydney dispensed water for herself and took a long sip. Then she stepped over to the other side of the island and sat on a stool. She didn't realize she had been stalling until she looked over to find Jamie's patient, but questioning expression. Alright, then, here we go, she thought and placed her glass on the countertop. "One of my long-time clients has a case heading to trial in London."
It was irrational on his part, but the mere mention of London caused Jamie's stomach to flutter. He loved the city, spent a semester there in college, but silly as it may be since it really wasn't the cause of their issues a decade ago, London felt like a reminder of the first nine years of James' life that he missed. "London," he repeated and slid onto the stool nearest to him. This was turning into a sit-down type of conversation.
"Yeah, uh, funny enough, it's the same client I went to London for eleven years ago."
His stomach went from a flutter to a slight clench. "Long-time clients are good ones to have," he offered casually, silently worrying about where this was going.
Sydney agreed, turning to study her glass before she really got into it. "Yeah, they are. Anyway, this case is significant, it could impact some of his businesses here in the states. Normally, one of my partners would go when his matters require extended travel - I try not to be away from James for too long if at all. But with this case, he's been hinting at having me be there personally to oversee the trial with the local solicitors, to make sure his interests here are protected. It's set for a two to three week docket at the end of the summer. It's coming up soon and he's gone from hinting to begging me to be there." Sydney locked eyes with Jamie to gauge his reaction so far.
Jamie was surprised but he tried to hide his concern for what that could mean for him. "Oh, okay. You want to take James?" he asked. It was his first assumption, one he didn't care for that much, simply because it meant that they wouldn't see each other for that long. James was now a regular part of his life and they were working to make that official. He and Eddie looked forward to their time together as a little family. It would be a bummer to miss out on their time, but he supposed it wasn't forever.
"Yes," she said with a nod of her head, but then stumbled suddenly. "No…I mean, yes, I do want to take him, but I don't think it's the best idea in this situation."
That left Jamie frowning and fully confused.
Sydney recognized his confusion; she was doing a terrible job of explaining herself. "Just so you know, this will be a lot for me," she began, choosing not to share just how hard this was. "But I thought I'd do this as a solo trip, especially since I'll be in the courtroom all day, everyday, and probably working late nights with the trial team." This trip overseas was very different from anything she'd allowed herself to consider as a working mother, but it was an opportunity to focus on her career while trusting someone else to take care of James in her absence. This decision required a lot of convincing from friends that thought it would be good for her and, surprisingly enough, from the two people she would first go to in these situations - her parents. They were encouraging James' relationship with his father, especially after the families bonded at his birthday party. It had been awkward at the start, but by the end of the party, her mother had warmed up to Erin and Eddie and her father was huddled in a corner of the party room in deep conversation with Frank and Henry while Jamie, Danny and the boys enjoyed the trampoline park with the kids. They stood ready to care for James should she need them, but they recognized that Jamie should be her first option. Regardless, this was going to be a difficult exercise for her.
Jamie wasn't expecting that, but the confusion remained, because if Sydney was in London, he couldn't guess what she had in mind for James. "Oh, and James would go," he started to ask, at a loss for the answer.
Sydney swiveled around and crossed her legs, facing Jamie. She attempted to sound more confident about this decision than she felt. "Stay with you, if you're willing to have him that long, that is. Like I said, it's two to three weeks straight. It's too much, I understand. I can ask my parents to take him," she explained, offering him the opportunity to say no.
But Jamie would ever pass on this opportunity. "No! Uh, I mean yeah. Yes, definitely. He can stay with us." He had James for less than forty-eight hours at a time. Two to three weeks straight with him in thier home would be a whole different experience, one that excited him.
"Do you need to check with Eddie first?" she asked, not wanting to assume that his wife was on board, but who was she kidding? She knew Eddie would be. She and Jamie seemed to always be in sync, just from the little time she'd observed the pair - something that, quite honestly, made her jealous. She missed that sort of partnership.
"I will, but I know she'd love to have him too. Wow," he said and shook his head. His stomach relaxed and he chuckled at himself for assuming the worst. "I wasn't expecting that."
Sydney smirked. "You thought I was gonna take him on a long trip or leave him with my parents?"
"I mean, yeah," he answered honestly. She'd said more than once that she hardly ever traveled and that she only left James with her parents or her one trusted sitter. He didn't expect her to think of him first, especially for an extended trip overseas like this.
Sydney grimaced, realizing that was on her and her past choices. This new normal was going to require that they work as a team when it came to James, although letting go of the control she had over all decisions related to their son would be hard. "This will count as one of those 'me-time' opportunities I'm supposed to embrace. Although I might need an extra session or two with my therapist to talk me out of flying back on the weekends, not that it would make sense anyway with how intense thise case will be. It will be good for me and I think it will be good for you guys, too." That was the mantra she would be repeating in her head between now and the moment she landed back in New York.
Jamie pursed his lips and nodded. He was pretty excited about this but didn't want to seem too eager about the prospect of having her go away. He was only thrilled about the added time with James. "Anytime you need me to pitch in more, you know I'm here. I'll take good care of him."
"I know you will," she smiled warmly. It was one thing she didn't have to question, most of the time anyway. This thing with his job still bothered her, but she was trying to get over it or at least keep those feelings bottled up for now. Other than that, she knew Jamie and he protected the people he loved fiercely. "So he's got camp everyday, it will just be managing his pick ups and drop offs and obviously, the weekends. Well, all minus one - I'll be away during that Philadelphia trip he's going on."
"No problem, I'll take care of everything," Jamie assured her.
Before Sydney could respond, their little hurricane barreled into the kitchen with a backpack on his shoulders. He headed straight for his father. "Hi!"
"Hey, bud!" Jamie smiled at the boy, ruffling his hair.
"Did mom tell you?" he asked excitedly.
Jamie glanced over at Sydney. Her smile was meant for James but her eyes told Jamie she was still weary of this despite the opportunity it presented for her. "About London? Yeah, she did."
"So I can stay with you?" he asked with wide, pleading eyes. The alternative was going to Connecticut with his grandparents and even though they were great, he really wanted to stay with his dad and Eddie.
"Don't look so excited," Sydney complained facetiously…sort of.
"I'm not!" he promised as he tried to hide his excitement. He was no dummy, he could pick up on when his mom was nervous about things. She made a whole big deal of things that were important by sitting him down to talk and then asked how he felt. In this case, James was relieved when she finally got around to telling him it was only about some trip and her idea to stay with his dad while she was gone. His mom didn't realize that the over-the-top assurances she gave him about texting and Facetiming everyday she was gone and that two or three weeks would go by in a flash while he was busy with camp and weekend birthday trips was more for her than him. He didn't need any time to decide between staying with his dad or his grandparents; he was his first and very enthusiastic choice.
"I'm kidding…kind of. He said yes, and although your dad still has to check with Eddie, it looks like you're staying in the city." She wondered if it was irrational to feel sadness and jealousy over having to share the spot as number one in James' eyes with someone else. It was hard to share the crown after laying claim to it for almost ten years.
"Yes!" he exclaimed with a celebratory pump of his fist, then immediately dropped it, replacing his excitement with indifference. "Okay."
Jamie brought his hand up to his mouth to hide his grin while stealing a look at Sydney who shook her head and let out a combined chuckle and sigh. She hoped work kept her really busy because this might send her over the edge.