Chapter CIV

One of Them

I'm horribly dizzy, disoriented, lost; I feel like I'm on a boat in the grip of raging waves. My head is so heavy; I don't even know if it's right side up or upside down, just as I don't know if my eyes are closed or open. My vision is blurred; there are only grotesque and dark shapes that gradually take shape in front of me … or on this tapestry of absolute darkness … who knows. I feel so bad, so sick, as if I had gone to bed completely drunk. I groan between two nauseated hiccups.

As my thoughts and body gather themselves into one piece, I try to move … in vain. I shake my head, bat my eyelashes many times to regain my senses. I… I'm on a cold stone floor and my hands are tied behind my back; at that, I'm firmly tied to a pillar with rope. Strangely, my legs are free of any restraints… And it's only now that I realize that I'm barefoot.

My heart sinks into the depths of the earth, and I forget to breathe.

Have I … have I been kidnapped? Am I … in the clutches of the enemy again?!

"Have you finally come to your senses?" a male voice says in the darkness.

I raise my head… But I'm suddenly dazzled by a horrible and painful flash of light, forcing me to close my eyes. I feel like my retina has just been burned by a firebrand. After painful seconds, I half-open my eye. The source of light that blinded me is an oil lamp. Then, I sink into amazement when I recognize the person standing before me. "Shi… Shikamaru…?"

With confusion, I analyze the place I'm in despite the darkness uselessly lit by this lamp. At first glance, I'm in a warehouse, in which many wooden crates of all kinds are piled up. Given that I can only see two or three metres in front of me, I have no idea where I am…

Shikamaru looks behind me and nods. Mechanically, I turn my head. I recognize Sakura. She puts a hand on my skull and forces me to arch forward. A buzz of static electricity reaches my ears as she lowers the back of my mask to expose my neck.

"It's black," she says, releasing me.

"Wha… What's going on?" I ask in a trembling voice. "Where am I? Why am I tied up?"

Shikamaru sighs. "I told you he wouldn't remember anything," he says to Sakura.

What… What is he talking about? I'm here and not at home … which means I had an absence, a memory lapse… Maa, I think…? Plus, I'm not suffering at all anymore, as if all my injuries had disappeared or healed. And in all of this, I'm in great shape. My chakra reserves, although limited, are immense. I've never had so much chakra in my life; it's so much that I don't know what to do with it. I think… I could create more than a hundred clones without any problem. I wonder if I could compete with Naruto's reserves…

What does that mean…?

Shikamaru puts the lamp on the ground and crouches in front of me, a few centimetres from my face. His facial features are severe, darkened. His eyes betray the horrors he has witnessed.

"What … happened…?"

"You don't remember anything at all?"

I shake my head.

"What do you remember?" he continues.

I sink into my thoughts. There's a gap in my memory … and this time, there's a blank. Nothing comes to mind, no little abstract or ephemeral fragment… "I… To be honest… I was at home … and the next moment, here, tied up…"

Shikamaru and Sakura exchange a worried look. This doesn't bode well at all, especially since the youngster hesitates to say anything. There's a silence, and this crushing silence is unbearable. There's only a sinister wind like whistles from beyond the grave. I have goosebumps.

"You're affected by the full moon in the same way as Naruto," he reveals to me.

I shudder, and my blood freezes in my veins. I remain speechless. Is that why Sakura inspected my neck? If … if that is really the case… That would be the reason why I can't remember anything…

"Kakashi-Sensei, like Naruto, you have a darkness in you."

"What!?"

Mechanically, I try to caress the back of my neck that I can't reach. I struggle uselessly against my bonds. I… I refuse to believe it.

"This thing, these feral instincts … whatever it is, took possession of you when you were exposed to the moon's rays. That's why you don't remember anything. You started wandering around the village, like a ghost haunting the streets."

Silent, I struggle to assimilate what Shikamaru is telling me. Despite the thousand and one torment that besiege me because of these obscure, terrifying and nightmarish revelations, I listen to his improbable story, straight out of a horror film.

"Before I captured you with my Kagemane no Jutsu, you destroyed a fence, broke into a bookstore, and knocked out two guys. If I was a second too late, you would have murdered Neji with your Raikiri."

My heart stops abruptly. I break down, livid. Impossible… No… Impossible… I… I refuse to believe it… It's simply impossible… Yet, the dark eyes before me don't lie, speak for themselves. In my denial, I fix my gaze on Sakura, a hope that she will tell me that this is a cruel prank…

Her too.

She too displays this same face, which has witnessed the same horrors.

My breath quickens, becomes useless wheezes that follow the pace of my organ of love on the verge of breaking. I lower my head and begin to tremble.

I fall into shock.

Near a panic attack.

And my whole world collapses.

I want to wake up, right now. I want someone to pull me out of this nightmare. I harbour a darkness inside me … an entity … a demon… I am human … while no longer being so. Despite appearances, I am no longer human…

I am one of them…

I am a chakra devourer…

A chakra … a cha…

I jump when a gentle hand rests on my shoulder. "It's gonna be okay, Kakashi-Sensei," Sakura reassures me. "The important thing is that you didn't cause any irreparable harm and that you've come back to your senses."

Sakura smiles…

But her smile is fake.

I can't calm down. I'm covered in sweat, probably as pale as a ghost. I refuse to accept that I tried to kill someone … because of this … "thing" that's lurking inside me.

"Kakashi-Sensei, where's Naruto?" she asks me.

I lower my head, out of shame. I stare at the floor, unable to face her … unable to face Shikamaru … anyone… "Naruto's still at my place, sleeping," I mumble. "In other words… Maa … you know…"

A silence settles in.

"I'll go to your place to keep an eye on him," Shikamaru declares. "You'll stay here, tied up all night. Sakura will watch over you."

"I understand… It's best that I stay here … where I can't hurt anyone…"

I hear the teenager leave the place. A distant sound of a door opening and closing, and nothing. Silence … silence broken by my racing heart and my wheezing. I can't believe that this is real, that this really happened. This mark on the back of my neck… It gave birth to a darkness that hides inside me, waiting for the right moment to strip me of my humanity, of who I am, lost forever. I'm facing the same threat that Naruto fights every night, every day, all the time…

"Kakashi-Sensei, you don't have to feel guilty," Sakura insists in a sincere voice. "It's not your fault. You weren't in control of your actions."

I'm overwhelmed by guilt, fear … a torrent of unspeakable emotions… Overwhelmed by this emotional avalanche that shakes me in all directions, that smashes me against invisible walls, my mind is confused… Thinking is … difficult… A great fatigue catches up with me…

"I am … so … tired…" I murmur to myself while nodding my head.

My eyelids are so … heavy … they … weigh tons.

"Kakashi-Sensei?"

All sounds fade away; images are only mirages, which evaporate, leaving only emptiness and nothingness. I can't formulate the slightest thought, word, idea… I feel so lonely… I feel terribly lonely… I call out for Naruto… I want to be in his arms, fall asleep in his arms, in the den, in the nest, safe…

Unable to fight any longer, I close my eyes.

I fall asleep.

- XxX -

"Kakashi-Sensei?" Sakura called out a second time. The teenager crouching next to Kakashi held her breath. Had he fainted? Did that mean the return of that darkness? However, he was motionless and seemed unconscious. She placed a cautious hand on his shoulder. Kakashi didn't react at all. She looked at the back of his neck; the mark wasn't sparkling.

Then, she heard them.

She heard the silent snores.

Astonishment paralyzed her on the spot. Had the Copy Ninja really fallen asleep? Without Naruto's venom, it was simply impossible. She grabbed him by the shoulders. "Kakashi-Sensei, did Naruto bite you?" she asked, shaking him gently.

Kakashi frowned as he moaned uselessly, but both his eyes remained closed. When she stopped shaking him, his facial features relaxed, and he continued to snore.

There was no doubt about it. Kakashi was sleeping … and he was sleeping soundly.

Sakura arched Kakashi's head to observe his right cheek. The small cut on it had already healed; it was almost invisible to the naked eye and would disappear in the following days as if it had never existed. When she brushed it with her finger, she couldn't feel it like a tattoo that was ten years old. If Naruto had bitten him, she could find the bite mark.

That said, she couldn't trust Kakashi because of the full moon; he was unstable and unpredictable. She went around him without taking her eyes off him; at that, she imposed a safe distance from him. She was afraid of awakening this terrifying thing that was sleeping inside him; she didn't want to find herself alone facing it. Behind him, she examined his arms carefully. Since Naruto always bit him in his forearms, it made it easier for her, especially since Kakashi was tied to a pillar. Logically, the bite should be in a similar state to the cut on his cheek, though the number of scars made it difficult to inspect.

These scars seemed to embarrass Kakashi, since he hid them with white stripes immediately after his leave. Out of respect, she had not confronted him about it. If he hid them, he did not want to be reminded of them. The bites covered his arms in large quantities; a few scratches marked him here and there. The size of Naruto's fangs left scars every time; Shikamaru and Kiba also sported these painful ornaments.

However, her blood froze in her veins when Sakura did not find a bite dating from this evening. She placed two fingers on Kakashi's carotid artery. His pulse was slow and regular, confirming beyond any doubt that he had fallen asleep. Her Sensei had fallen asleep without Naruto's venom… Yet, the venom was essential; he could not sleep without it. His body was addicted to it, and the consequences of such addiction had caused irreparable aftereffects.

The full moon made Kakashi one of them, made him one of those nocturnal creatures blindly obeying their instincts. Like Naruto, he was affected by the rays of the full moon and like Naruto, he answered the call of sleep if he was sheltered from the lunar rays. Even if Kakashi had no tail, "claws," fangs, a veil of static electricity and a back covered in a black mosaic and he always ate human food, this black mark on the back of his neck had transformed him into one of them, into a pseudo-chakra devourer.

She was convinced of it.

This darkness terrified her. Kakashi's personality was mixing with this thing. Over time, he was changing … changing to become someone she no longer recognized. She had seen this thing in control of Kakashi's body with her own eyes. She kept going over this scene that she and Shikamaru had witnessed; their discussion before the Copy Ninja regained his senses played on a loop like a recording. What had happened still sent shivers down her spine and would give her many nightmares.

Sakura sat down in front of Kakashi, three metres away from him. She hugged her legs and as Shikamaru had asked her, she watched her Sensei who was sleeping peacefully. Slowly, the infamous smell of carrion, which made her stomach churn, faded. A clear tear ran down her cheek. Sakura felt alone. She felt like she was the last member of Team7 still standing.

Then, her grief mixed with anger and injustice.

Even if Naruto was the one who had marked Kakashi, she couldn't blame him. He hadn't chosen to become a demon, a chakra devourer; he was a victim who was trying to survive by clinging to any source of happiness and comfort. After all, this group was to blame for this whole thing. These thugs had committed crimes that were impossible to punish. They played with the lives of others without shame, shattered the lives of innocent people in the name of war and violence, turned these people into weapons to eventually shatter more lives and families.

Because of this group, she had lost both Naruto and Kakashi.

- XxX -

Shikamaru picked up the pace. Worry was eating away at him to the core. He didn't like leaving Sakura alone with Kakashi—with that "thing" that inhabited his body and that the full moon had awakened. Although that darkness hadn't been aggressive, he didn't trust it. That scene still made his blood run cold. He didn't know if that darkness, those instincts, could resurface, but he had to take care of Naruto. He crossed his fingers that Naruto was still at Kakashi's, sleeping.

After a few minutes, Shikamaru saw the building where Kakashi was staying. His heart raced in spite of himself. Since the Copy Ninja had been neutralized, there had been no alert; calm was returning to the village. He was afraid that Naruto was no longer inside. Finding a Naruto as invisible as a shadow in the night would be a miracle. To protect his comrade, he refused to raise the alarm if the blond was on the run.

In case Naruto was still there, Shikamaru crept up the stairs and went to the second floor so as not to wake him. He would curse himself until the end of time if he was the trigger for the teenager's fury. The apartment door was ajar. Kakashi had gone out without closing it behind him. The shinobi erased his presence and got closer. He raised his head to look inside. He refrained from hiccuping in disgust when the filthy smell of death mercilessly attacked his nostrils, which burned under an olfactory acid. He covered his face with his shirt and pinched his nose. He had to fight against himself not to cough and thus betray his presence.

Having no other choice, he ventured inside, and the stinking scent got a hundred times worse. Ever since Kakashi had returned home after his hospitalization, Shikamaru hadn't had the chance to visit properly. Last time, he blamed Kakashi for the smell, since the latter was now capable of releasing unbearable pheromones, which made him stink to the point of vomiting. Even when he wasn't producing any, his scent stung the nostrils in the same way Naruto did. He smelled strong, very strong. In fact, the blond smelled like roses in comparison. Kakashi's body perfume was much more pronounced and had gotten worse in the following days.

Sure, his apartment always smelled bad because of Naruto, but this time … there were no words to describe the smell that made him green. The air was toxic, stifling, and felt like it was filling his lungs with deadly smoke. The smell of carrion and savagery was identical to the one that stank the hospital room … except that it was worse. The further he went, the more he suffocated; pinching his nose was no longer useful. His stomach gurgled, threatening to expel its contents at any moment. The place was like the lair of a wild predator, whose stench served as a warning. Shikamaru wondered how the Copy Ninja endured this putrid odour daily, although according to Sakura, he no longer smelled it.

He had a hypothesis in mind to explain this total indifference while Kakashi's sense of smell could rival that of the Inuzuka clan. This smell must have served to disgust and repel humans like a defence mechanism. Since he had become one of them, Kakashi was no longer affected by this olfactory poison. Now, he could also spread it, especially when he was threatened and stressed. He prayed that Kakashi would learn to control this intolerable phenomenon.

Not wanting to linger in this mess, Shikamaru quickened his pace to take a look in the bathroom… However, he stopped very close to the bedroom. "You're not serious, are you kidding me?!" he cursed inwardly when he saw the curtain of marbles carefully hung in the mouth of the door.

He refused to believe that the idiot had left with that thing, taking the time to buy it before going home when the full moon was about to shine at its peak… However, he noticed that the curtain in the room did not completely cover the window. He easily understood what had happened. Probably obsessed with those marbles as he had been at the store, Kakashi had stayed there, right in the moon's rays path. All in all, he had not done it on purpose. Until now, only Naruto had been affected by the full moon. Otherwise, the Hokage would have taken the necessary precautions to protect them both … although she had had her suspicions about it. In the end, she had ended up letting Kakashi handle the situation, believing that he could not be a victim of the moon.

Shikamaru looked at the room in more detail, although it was the place that stank the most; the smell burned his throat. Numerous claw marks disfigured the floor, and the mattress was stripped of all its sheets … except for the stuffed Kakashi—something that made Shikamaru uncomfortable. He was surprised to see that Kakashi had kept it, especially after seeing him get upset. The absence of blankets confirmed the Copy Ninja's words that Naruto was in the bathroom. However, he couldn't leave the curtain like that. The risk that the blond would wake up and expose himself in turn was always present.

Yet, he froze before even reaching the curtain of marbles. A horrible feeling pinched his heart. He didn't know why, but he shouldn't set foot in this room, no matter the reasons. Goosebumps were taking over him, a primal and bizarre fear swarmed under his skin and numbed his trembling limbs. This strange phenomenon that assailed him was inexplicable. The shinobi listened to his instincts and moved away from the room. As soon as he turned his attention away from this forbidden and sinister room, he felt much better.

Shikamaru approached the bathroom and let out a sigh of relief.

Naruto was sheltered from the moon.

Naruto was fast asleep.

Naruto was snoring in the middle of the sheets.

Shikamaru closed the door and rushed outside to breathe like never before. His face lost its colour, and the teenager coughed and vomited, emptying his entire stomach from the top of the second floor. The foul, disgusting mixture splashed onto the ground. The foul stench that filled the apartment clung to his palate; all he could taste was rotten meat. Tears welled up in the corners of his eyes.

Never, never again would he set foot inside that place. Between two balls of vomit, Shikamaru closed the front door. He preferred to wait on the balcony or on a nearby roof to watch over Naruto all night rather than wait inside … if he could survive there more than ten minutes.

"I'm gonna die," Shikamaru choked out, wanting to cut off his tongue, on which this smell had anchored itself until the end of time.

He wondered why Kakashi's smell was so intense, especially if he considered that he was still "human." Something had to be at fault, explaining why it was worse … terribly worse… Especially since his smell had gotten worse over time.