Chapter 24: Exceeded Expectations
He pulled me into the bathroom and wrapped his arms around me. He kicked the door shut behind him.
"What the hell are you doing Inuyasha!?"
"Please I just need to talk to you," he begged.
"No, let go of me," I said struggling.
He shoved his face into the crook of my neck and held me tighter. He breathed me in, and I felt like I was going to be sick. His touching me now felt so wrong.
"Please Kagome. I am begging you to listen to me. I know I can change your mind, please. All I need is one chance."
I had to be smart. I needed to get out of here.
"I will hear you out, but Inuyasha you need to let me go."
His grip on me loosened. I took my chance and went to the other side of the room. Thank god the bathroom was big enough.
"What do you want Inuyasha? Were you waiting in the bathroom for me?"
He shook his head. "I just needed a second to think. Sesshomaru called all of us here at the last second. I thought you two were getting married, or worse you were pregnant, but I can tell by the look on your face. That neither of those things is the case."
"What is this supposed to be? Why are you trapping me in a bathroom with you?"
"Don't do this Kagome, please. Leave him; come back to me."
I sighed. "Let me go Inuyasha." I pleaded.
He shook his head. "Never."
This was twisted.
"This makes no sense! You only want me because someone else is interested. Only because it's Sesshomaru, if it were anyone else you wouldn't care Inuyasha. You can't have me. I do not belong to you. You don't get to do that. You don't get to come back, tell me how much you miss me. I am not yours to miss, and you keep asking me for chances. You had a million chances. You didn't realize how special I was until I was gone. All Sesshomaru needed was the one. He makes me feel loved without having to beg for it. You've screwed me up in ways I'm still trying to unlearn. So, I can treat him the way he deserves to be. Quite frankly this is starting to scare me. You can't keep cornering me like this."
What I had said had stung. I could see it in his eyes, but I didn't care. He needed to hear it, and I would tell him as many times as it took.
"I had a dream you know," he told me, ignoring what I had said. "It was you and me, and you were looking at me. In the way, you used to. It felt like things were back to normal, the way they were supposed to be. Then I woke up and realized how sad I was because you weren't there. Your absence… it's left this void in my life. I am sorry. Please come back to me Kagome. I will do whatever it takes to make things up to you. I thought hell, why not try one last time? I know how big and forgiving your heart is. I was hoping you could find it in your heart to forgive me… and let me back in. You can't hate me forever."
I looked at him as if he was crazy.
"What do you say Kagome? Just you and me. The way it should have been."
He hasn't mentioned Kikyo a single time. Is she disposable? Just like I was. Why was it so easy for him to throw people away? What was it going to take for me to get through to him?
"I know that my heart is big and it can be my downfall sometimes, but it is not big enough to deal with people like you. People who only decide to love me when it is convenient for them. Not anymore. Also, I do not hate you. Even though I should. In a way, I'm grateful for what you did to me. I'm all the better for it; stronger and happier. What you've done has opened my eyes to the person who actually cares about me. I've learned what I deserve, but I've also learned who to love and how to let go Inuyasha."
He opened his mouth to speak, but I put my hand up. I was not finished; not by a long shot. I was done with people trying to get in the way of us.
"I loved you, and that was my mistake. I've dealt with it. It was the most pathetic thing I've ever done; waiting for you the way I did. I was waiting for something spectacular to happen. I was waiting for you, but nothing ever came. I wasted years waiting for you. I was waiting for something amazing, but nothing special came… not unless it came from me. I made you special. Again, that was my mistake, and I will never do it again. Day by day I realized that everything I missed about you never existed in the first place. I fell in love with someone that never existed. Knowing that makes it so much easier to let that person go. I had to forgive you, but don't make the mistake of thinking it was for you. I did it for myself. I had to stop making everything about you. So, I let go of all the hurt and the bad memories. You were selfish and broke my heart time, and time again. So, I'm choosing to be selfish too. I choose me this time. I choose Sesshomaru. You have to accept that."
He had a look of disbelief on his face.
"You sound like you love him..." he said, trailing off.
"That's because I do."
I didn't even hesitate to say those words. At that moment I wasn't saying it to hurt him. I was being honest. It was how I felt, but I was only now accepting it.
"I-" was all he said before closing his mouth.
"Well now if you have nothing else to say. Step out of my way. He is waiting for me."
He hung his head low and stepped out of my way. I threw the door open and hurried out. This was supposed to be our night. I wouldn't let anyone ruin that. I headed back the way Sesshomaru had gone. I reached out to touch the door, but it opened. The smell of the food and the sound of music spilled out into the hallway. It was a ballroom filled with people; it was a party. I spotted a few familiar faces in the crowd. There was Sango, Sesshomaru's family, Himari, and Kouga. Kikyo was nowhere to be seen. I guess that was a good thing. I could only handle so much in one night.
Houses still came with ballrooms?
A man in a suit and a microphone stood a few feet away from me.
"Now announcing that lady of the hour. Kagome Higurashi."
Lady of the hour?
Applause filled the room and it shocked me. I had no idea what was going on. When Sesshomaru said he was going to rub it in their faces. I wasn't sure how he'd planned to do it, but I did not know how far he would go. I did not expect this. Sesshomaru was at the bottom of the staircase. He was smiling up at me, with a microphone in his hand.
"I would like to thank all of you for coming on such short notice." He began. "I wanted all of you to join me here. In Kagome and I's new home; because there are a few things I would like to share with you all."
Did he say new home? As in our new home?
"I cannot recall ever wanting something this badly until I found her. She excites my entire being. I've built a shrine so deep in my heart. It is filled with only her. This woman is all that I have ever wanted. I cannot stress enough that she is the only woman I will ever want. Kagomw is as kind as she is beautiful. She is one of the strongest women I've had the honor to come across."
He locked eyes with me and I could have sworn my heart almost stopped.
"Even speaking now she is beyond words needed to describe her. Her side is where I belong. Looking at her I know in the next fifty years we will still be as happy as we are now. However, if not and she decides she is tired of me." he joked. "I will fight for what we have until my last breath because I want to spend the rest of our lives together. I promise you that. She is the woman I wish to mate and marry; as well as the women I wish to see bear my children. She is more than a girlfriend. She is the missing part of my soul. It is a privilege to matter to her; to know her."
I was struggling to hold my tears back until I couldn't hold on anymore. I picked up my dress and all but ran down the stairs, trying not to trip. I threw myself into his arms. This felt so unreal. They clapped around us. He looked down at me, his eyes had a softness to them. When help looked at me like that I felt like I was melting.
He put the microphone to his lips. "Now please, enjoy the rest of your night."
He handed the microphone to one of the waiters. He smiled down at me and wiped my tears away.
"Come now, there is no reason to cry."
"How can I not after what you just said?"
He smiled. "I hope I have made it up to you."
I grinned and nodded. "You've exceeded my expectations."
He kissed me. "Hn. I am glad. I wish to give you everything you've ever wanted and more."
I smiled. "I already have it."
"Congratulations," Kouga said interrupting. "I was wondering what this last-minute invitation was. You two look happy."
"I am glad you can see that. Now, you can stop pining for a woman you'll never have." Seshomaru said.
He smirked. "You made a few promises up there until you act on them. Words are just words, sir. Still, it seems as though she accepts them. If she is happy then who am I to get in the way? If you will excuse me. I will see you in the office, goodnight." he said smiling, as he walked off.
He definitely was going to try and get in the way.
"You're going to fire him, aren't you?"
He smirked. "No. I will enjoy breaking him."
I spotted Himari off in the corner. I smiled her way, as I held onto Sesshomaru's arm. She was standing with an older gentleman. There was a resemblance. He must have been her father. She looked pissed off. Her father seemed very carefree though. Sango was standing a few feet away from her, with a drink in her hand. I smiled, and she gave me a signal that meant she had her eyes on Himari.
"Come. Do not worry about them. At least not this night. This night is for you."
"For us." I corrected.
He smiled and pulled me to the dance floor. We slowly dance to the music; swaying peacefully.
"Sesshomaru there's something I need to tell you."
"If it's about your conversation with Inuyasha. You do not need to explain."
"You heard?"
"I could not stop myself. I apologize for eavesdropping. I wanted to make sure that you were alright. I was going to step in, but then I heard you. Are you angry with me?"
I shook my head. "Not at all. I didn't want you to hear about us in the bathroom and get the wrong idea."
He chuckled. "I know you would not do such a thing."
He had such trust in me. He deserved the same and I was going to give it to him.
"I will speak to him as well. There are a few things he and I need to discuss. Also, there is something you and I need to discuss."
"What do you mean?"
He didn't say anything. He just looked me in the eyes and lingered there, until the realization hit me.
"Oh," I said quietly.
My face was on fire. I said I loved him. I didn't say the exact words, but still, it was the same, and he had heard. He pulled closer to him.
"I want to hear them. I want to hear you say you love me." He whispered in my ear.
"I..."
"Yes, go on," he whispered, his lips hovering above mine. "Tell me Kagome, who do you love?"
"I love, you."
I exhaled slowly. My heart pounded as those three little words left my mouth. It was out in the world now. There was no taking it back, and I didn't want to. I could see the red seeping into his eyes. What had I started?