Breaking Point

Legolas motioned for me to stand up and I followed his lead. As quietly as we could, we crept back to Gimli, who had already grabbed his axe, his eyes locked on the door. The elf now also drew his knife. The blade gleamed softly in the hazy light.

I didn't dare breathing. The fear that this might betray us was far too strong. Who could that be? The rest of the orcs? An inhabitant of Lake Town?

The tension from Gimli and Legolas was almost palpable, so I was all the more surprised for what came next: a simple knock.

With a furrowed brow, I looked over at Gimli, who answered my silent question with a shrug.

A second knock.

Then someone tampered with the bar that held the outer door shut. Legolas gestured for us to retreat further into the shadows. Where the intruder would not notice us immediately. Gimli was reluctant to comply, I sensed that very clearly. But he did.

When the door opened a crack, I couldn't see who was squeezing inside the storage house because Legolas was standing in front of me. It was only when his shoulders relaxed that I realized it was not an enemy.

"Beleg." Gimli's voice was still low and, unlike Legolas, he had not lowered his axe. "How did you know we were here?"

"Well," the Elf closed the door behind him and shot me a glance, "this place was obvious. It has a connection to the Woodland Realm and is also perfect for a hiding place."

"You did not bring Galadhon with you," I noted.

"No." Beleg nodded towards the door. "But I'd bet your stone shards that he'll soon come to the same conclusion. That's why we should leave."

I raised an eyebrow. "We?"

He smirked. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Legolas tense up again. "You should have overheard by now that Galadhon will get you nowhere with your quest."

"That may be true." I didn't want to get too deep into my cards, but Beleg didn't seem at all keen to elicit anything more from me. Did he know about Legolas' theory? No, I couldn't picture that.

"It's not quite dark outside yet, but the mist is so thick that they won't see us if we start crossing now." He looked at Legolas. "Unless you have other plans, my prince."

Why did I have the feeling that the last part of the sentence had sounded mocking? I was increasingly unsure why Legolas felt that Beleg, of all people, was the one he trusted more.

"No," the elf beside me replied. "Have you taken care of the boat?"

"It's moored at the hatch of the storage house. Follow me."

Gimli hesitantly lowered his weapon. I saw doubt on his face too. Before Legolas and I could follow Beleg, he held us back. "I don't believe him," he said just loud enough for the latter to hear. "Showing up here all of a sudden like this storage space is the only possible place in all of Esgaroth. What if he sends us to our doom?"

Beleg, who was only a few steps ahead, turned his head. "Then, master dwarf, I wouldn't have come alone. After all, it was not I who divided the group, was it?"

Gimli grumbled in displeasure, but left Beleg's point unanswered. Instead he walked past Legolas and me and in the direction where the loading hatch was. "A boat you say?" He circled the pile of wine casks that had obviously been prepared for onward transport. "Where?"

Rather than be provoked by Gimli, Beleg took two more steps and stopped at a handle. "I hope they greased it," he muttered, then pushed it.

The cargo hatch swung down without complaint, even though not particularly quiet. Beleg had been right: Down in the water, moored to a pole, lay a small transport barge, such as there were many of them in Esgaroth.

"Hurry up. Orcs roam the city only sporadically now, but the guards have keen hearing."

"You first," Gimli said, addressing Beleg, and I had to grin. The dwarf was obviously still suspicious. I couldn't blame him. Beleg descended into the barge with a sigh, Gimli followed him. Then came I and Legolas brought up the rear.

The fog was indeed so thick that I could hardly see the end of the barge. Despite this, or perhaps because of it, we had to be on our guard. As uncertain as the situation was, the city guards mistake us for fleeing orcs and wouldn't give us the benefit of the doubt.

While we were still climbing down, we heard voices on one of the walkways. They were not human, I realized with a shudder.

"Faster," said Beleg, who had already untied the rope. No sooner had we slid down into the barge than he pushed us off the pier. He didn't have to tell us not to make a sound. Everyone, even Gimli, was so quiet that you could have heard a falling needle.

The boat moved gently through the water, so slowly and quietly that only the ears of an elf could have heard us. So we drifted away from the warehouse meter by meter until we arrived in the middle of the canal. From there, Beleg navigated us further, towards the north, if I wasn't mistaken. It would not be long before we reached the city walls. But then what? After an orc attack, they were sure to be well guarded and we would not be let out without answering questions. What could we bring up in our defense? Not very much. Unfortunately.

But I was to be proved wrong, for as we approached the exit of the canal that would take us out onto the lake, the gate was firmly closed but no guards were in sight. Odd.

With narrowed eyes, I looked over at Gimli and Legolas. The steep wrinkle that had formed on the dwarf's forehead confirmed my uneasy gut feeling. Nevertheless, we took advantage of the opportunity: Legolas stood up and, light-footed and without unbalancing the boat, pulled himself onto the footbridge next to the gate. Within a few moments he had opened the exit for us and the boat slid out onto the lake just as silently as before. But it was only when the gate wings had disappeared behind us in the thick fog that the worst tension fell away from me. Still: I didn't dare speak, not here. It was far too dangerous.

Crossing the lake took longer than I thought. Or maybe it just seemed like hours because I listened for every sound and turned my head at the slightest even imagined change to see if we were under attack. When the shore sand crunched under the boat, I knew we had completed the first leg. But new dangers were waiting for us here. After all, the orcs who had invaded Esgaroth earlier must have fled somewhere.

Gimli and Beleg left the boat first and pulled it far enough up the narrow strip of beach that it would not drift back out onto the lake. As I tried to get up to help them, the boat tipped slightly to one side. I stumbled and would have landed in the mud if Legolas' had not had the presence of mind to hold out his arms. "Careful," he said calmly, right behind me.

It took a minute, but eventually I had regained my balance. I did not turn my head, but still felt his hands on my hips. So I said, "You can let go of me now."

The elf pulled his fingers away as if he had been burned. I quickly got out of the boat and looked into the faces of Beleg and Gimli, who were waiting for us on the shore. I couldn't interpret the dwarf's expression, but a smirk was playing around Beleg's mouth.

"What now?", I asked, not only to distract from the situation, which both of them had not only witnessed but also judged, I realized. Without turning to look at Legolas, I added, "They'll be here somewhere."

"That's to be expected," Beleg replied. "So we should put distance between us and this lake as soon as possible."

"And go where?" The question hung heavy in the air, for indeed we, or at least I, had not the faintest idea where we would find Maglor. If we could find him at all. What if he didn't want to be found? He had known Middle Earth far longer than even Legolas was old - if he wanted to disappear, we wouldn't have a chance. "Our only real shot was to get the stone shard from the woman. If Maglor has it, we have lost our advantage. We will wander the lands in search of him, and sooner or later be caught up by one of my many pursuers."

Silent for a moment longer, Legolas said, "Ever since I considered that Maglor might help us, I have been thinking about where to find him. I have been researching in the library of Eryn Lasgalen, during the time you..." He interrupted himself, only to continue immediately, "That he has now slipped through our fingers is unfortunate. But I think I know where to look for him."

"Do you?" Gimli raised an eyebrow. "And where would that be?"

"Let's talk about it later," Legolas glanced over his shoulder. "Beleg is right, we need to get away from here first and foremost. The shore is riddled with orcs. It's a wonder they haven't found us yet. And maybe we don't have to wander far. If I am not mistaken, it is also in Maglor's interest to find us."

"Indeed," Beleg replied. "I suggest we set off in the direction of Eryn Lasgalen. We can better outpace them in the forest and decide where to turn after that."

Legolas nodded, about to retort something, but before he could, we heard the voices again. This time they came from the shore, quite a way to the east, but they were heading straight for us. They couldn't have noticed the boat yet through the thick fog, but maybe they were patrolling around the lake. We had no time to hide it.

"Quick!" Legolas ran ahead and motioned for us to follow him.

He didn't have to say that twice. We rushed through the small patch of forest that surrounded the shore. It was not part of the Green Wood, which was further west from here. The trees were different, younger and less bent. To get to the foothills of Legolas' home would take us half the night. Most of the way, if I remembered the maps correctly, was over hilly grassland, only rarely broken by single clusters of trees. The perfect place to get caught.

In a rush, we left the trees behind us. The voices were not cut off, though now further away. But after a good hour of steady running, I felt myself slowing down. Yes, I had built up some stamina in Minas Tirith and also over the journey, but even that had its limits. I felt terribly weak, for neither the elves nor Gimli showed any signs of fatigue. And so I gritted my teeth and pushed on. Meter by meter, ever onwards.

I would not give up.

Not now.

If I stopped, they would catch up. And who knew how many there were. They would kill me and the others too. This thought and the fear that grew from it mobilized strength that I had no idea I possessed.

Another two hours passed, during which we ran across the grassland, driven by our pursuers like rabbits that couldn't find their burrow. There was only me, my breathing rhythm and the moon, which had broken through the clouds like a traitor about an hour ago. The only thing that hid us from the eyes of the orcs was the mist that still hung thickly in the hollows of the hills.

All my thoughts were about taking the next step. To overcome the next meter. To reach the next hill, so that I didn't notice Beleg, who had been running in front of me, stop abruptly. I bumped into his back and almost knocked us both over, but the elf had swift reflexes. He spun himself around and me with him, so that we both stayed on our feet. "Not so fast, adaneth*." He put a finger to his lips. "There's something up ahead."

"I see it too," Legolas said, in a low voice. Gimli was the last to come to a halt. By now he seemed similarly tormented as I was, but let it show just as little. Neither of us wanted to admit that running was exhausting us far more than the elves.

The voices at our backs had been barely audible for the last hour, we had been fast enough to gain a good head start. Only sometimes had the wind carried them over to us. Nevertheless, we were aware that they had picked up our tracks. Covering them up was hardly possible and took more time than running directly to Eryn Lasgalen. There we would be able to lose them, at least that had been my hope until Beleg had stopped.

He was still standing next to me. Despite the moon, I could see nothing through the mist. For a moment longer, the elf looked ahead intently, then he hissed, "Get down."

I immediately dropped into the high grass, my heartbeat fast now because fresh fear spread through me like cold water.

More voices, much closer this time. They were orcs, there was no doubt about that. Their language sounded as ugly as the weapons they carried looked. How could they be ahead of us? Had they overtaken us and were now surrounding us?

Beleg tensed. Only Legolas had a long-range weapon with him, his bow. But he had not yet drawn it, for a shot would give away our position.

I tore my gaze away from the approaching danger and scanned the surroundings. To our left, barely five meters away, was a grove of trees just big enough for deer to hide in. The trees seemed tall and old, at least from what I could make out through the mist. Would they offer shelter and protection?

A hand came to rest on my shoulder. It was Legolas, silently pointing to the grove. I understood and drew Beleg's attention too. The decision was made quickly, we had no other choice. As quickly as possible we pushed forward, hunched over. The orcs had now come closer. In terms of the number of voices, there were fewer than those pursuing us. But still too many. My heart was hammering so loudly that I was convinced they must hear it.

Then the grove swallowed us up, offering us shelter under its canopy of leaves. Still: that wouldn't last long once the orcs had gotten here or were informed by their fellows coming from the other direction that we should have run into them by now.

"Up," I heard Legolas whisper. "Up into the trees."

Oh no. No. I wouldn't do that. I couldn't do that. My mouth went dry all at once. Why did we have to climb? I was slightly afraid of heights, but the trees seemed sturdy enough not to worry about that. It was something else, an old memory from childhood. I shook my head, but the elf persisted. "There is no other way. I will help you."

"I don't need your help," I retorted just as quietly but displeased. I would get up there without a problem. The question was whether I would climb back down. Gimli, too, was anything but enthusiastic, I could tell by the look in his eyes, but we were running out of time. Beleg nodded to the dwarf: he would help him climb the tree to my right and I... I was left with the old beech that towered into the sky directly in front of me. It consisted of two trees grown together, forming a fork. From there we would easily reach the broad lower branches and then continue upwards, where the first leaves would hide us from the gaze of our enemies.
Before Legolas could get the idea of reaching under my arms, I took a deep breath and pulled myself up to the fork. We had to hurry, I knew that. But it had been ages since I had last climbed. I couldn't think about what had happened last time or I would lose my footing.

My hands were sweaty and kept slipping. Still, I pushed myself on, as I had done before when I was running.

Higher and higher.

"That's enough," I heard the voice of the elf behind me. We had reached a branch that would support us both, but wasn't wide enough for us to sit side by side. The elf balanced behind me, closer to the trunk.

Only now did I notice how high we had actually climbed. And I made the mistake of looking down. A shiver crept down my spine and although I was hunched over, I began to wobble. The ground felt like it was rushing towards me and I thought I was going to fall, frozen in fear.

Legolas sensed the danger, but was still too far away to be able to do anything to prevent it. So he said urgently, "Look at me. Don't look down."

I didn't want to face him, but I knew that was the better alternative. If I kept looking down, I would end up falling over, despite the elf's best efforts. So I turned my head and held onto Legolas' eyes, letting him guide me.

"Over here," he said, gently directing me near the tree trunk as soon as he could grasp my hand. There we both eased ourselves into a sitting position, me crouching in front of him, now with my back to the elf again. I managed to pull my legs up, we could not be seen from below.

The orcs had come closer. Hopefully they would just walk past the grove - wherever their destination might be. But as if they had heard my thoughts, they stopped. I didn't understand what they were saying, but I didn't have to. It was clear what they were doing: Setting up camp.

I wanted to scream, but instead bit my lower lip. We shouldn't have climbed the goddamn trees. Even if it had been riskier, wouldn't there have been a way around the grove? Now we were stuck up here with a pack of orcs who were lighting a fire below us. Great, just great.

What if the other group that had been behind us caught up with them and they got the idea to look for us up here? What if daylight came? Would we still be safe then? While I didn't think we had left particularly many tracks, orcs weren't stupid. On the contrary. The stories I had heard about them were terrifying, and my own experiences with them anyway.

Again Legolas put his hand on my shoulder, leaned forward and said so low that only I could hear, "They will not rest long. When they are gone, we will climb down."

How he would know this was beyond me, but what else could I do but trust him? And so we sat on the branch. Legs drawn up, I had rested my head on them and was staring at the ground, which I could only make out through small holes in the canopy. Oh, what I wouldn't have given to be stuck here with Gimli. With anyone actually but Legolas. How the hell had I gotten into this situation to begin with? Like a mouse sitting in a tree, meticulously mindful of every noise, in a world that was foreign to me with a task that was almost impossible to accomplish. Slowly my heartbeat calmed down, became more regular, even though I still listened attentively to the sounds of the orcs.

It was so absurd it was almost funny.

As I toppled to the left, my eyes snapped open. Just in time I regained my balance, then Legolas' hand was there to hold me. This was turning into a habit. Despite the loud conversations beneath our feet, I must have dozed off. Not much time could have passed, it was still dark.

Well, that had been a close call. I hadn't even noticed how my eyes had fallen shut. In the past I would never have been able to fall asleep in that position, but a certain amount of exhaustion made that sort of thing possible.

"Let me hold you," the elf said. "You are exhausted."

Of course I was, what did he expect? "No, thank you."

"Aspen..."

I knew we couldn't risk a discussion. And he was right, after all: I would fall asleep again, the physical exertion taking its toll. Still, I'd rather shoot myself in the knee than let that happen. Not after what he had said. So I stayed where I was and didn't move. It was fucking uncomfortable, but maybe that would stop me from slipping over into the land of dreams again.

With a sigh that was smothered by the rustling of the leaves, Legolas closed the distance between us. He placed his feet on the branch to my left and right and then embraced me loosely from behind with his arms. If the hurt part of me had had its way, I would have pushed him away. The logical one let it happen. It was safer that way, we both knew that. But it felt wrong.

"I don't want this," I said, every muscle in my body tense.

"I know," he replied so quietly I almost didn't hear. His voice sounded sad.

I stared anxiously at the leaves swaying in the wind around me. They were like shadows, only occasionally illuminated by the moonlight. The glow of the orc fire did not reach us.

The elf's breathing was as unsteady as mine. He was only doing this out of a sense of duty. And that made it so much worse. My throat tightened at the thought. The tingle in it announced the tears before they welled up in my eyes.

Damn it. I didn't want to cry. Not now and not in this situation. But I had no strength left to fight it, had suppressed it for too long, pretending that the anger in my stomach was compensating for everything. The exhaustion and fear did the rest.

The tears fell silently down my cheeks and seeped into the fabric of my garment. I didn't let a sound escape my lips, didn't move and hoped he didn't see it. All the while, I felt as alone as I had the last time four years ago. When I had been thrown into this world with no chance of ever going home.

When he turned his head, I knew my hope had been in vain. I sensed his muscles tense the same as mine had done before when he noticed. And I felt ashamed for not being able to hide my feelings better. It only made all of that more difficult than it already was.

For a moment we both sat frozen. Something in me expected him to push me away and I wouldn't have blamed him. I certainly couldn't sleep now. But instead of putting more distance between us, he did the exact opposite. Suddenly he pulled me so close to his chest that I made a small, surprised sound. His scent enveloped us like a blanket. Then he buried his face in my hair and whispered, "Goheno nin*."

*Mortal, human woman

*Forgive me