***As I said sometime before I use this story for trying out themes, tropes or other writing related stuff. I have written smut scenes before but wanted to experiment a bit more with writing this kind of scene all the while trying not to drift off to porn.

So chapter 58 will contain mild smut. For everyone not wanting to engage with it, you don't have to – plot wise. Everything that's mentioned in this chapter has either been mentioned before or will be mentioned after again.***

Here of All Places

We explored London, bit by bit, and sometimes I felt as if I was rediscovering the city through new eyes. It had been so long since I had been here. That I had been able to call this place my home. And I didn't know whether it was because I felt like everything was unfamiliar or because we were moving in my dream, but I no longer felt connected to it. On the contrary, the idea of returning to it made me nervous. Walking through these streets made me nervous.

We were passing through a small park not far from my old home. Legolas seemed to sense that something was on my mind, because he said, "Morgoth won't dare seek you out when I'm with you. Well not yet anyway."

Even if that wasn't what was on my mind, I was grateful that he was trying to reassure me. "Why are you so sure about that?"

"He's not powerful enough yet. He can lure in and bewilder your mind, but he'll have trouble with mine or Maglor's. He will wait for a moment when you enter the dream realm alone and unprotected. That's why we have to make sure that doesn't happen."

With that, he confirmed my worries. "So no dreamless sleep for me for the next... while, I guess."

"Unfortunately, no."

I ran my hands over my face but nodded. "That's what I thought."

"We can use the time to visit places that mean something to both of us."

"Yes..." I replied, quietly.

Legolas stopped and caught me with one hand before I could go any further, causing me to turn and land in his loose embrace. "Something is bothering you."

With a lowered gaze, I pursed my lips. "It's nothing. Nothing worse than the situation Morgoth put me in, at least."

"You're thinking about his offer."

"No," I said a little too forcefully. And then, to excuse my tone, "It's just that... all of this feels so unfamiliar. It shouldn't."

"This is a memory, Aspen. Your memory. With it comes not only the surroundings, but also the emotions you associate with it. You said yourself that you had to leave this city – involuntarily and worried about your family's health."

"And that affects my memory?"

"Aye."

"It's so bittersweet," I murmured. "I never expected to see any of this ever again."

Legolas' thumb brushed gently over the back of my hand. "I shouldn't have pressured you to show me your world."

"That is not your fault. I did not know how I would react. For years, my most desperate wish was to return here…"

"And now you're here, you're wishing you were in Middle Earth," he finished my sentence.

"Yes," I replied, "and no. Middle Earth only became my home because I found you." It was hard for me to admit that a second time, but it was true. Without Gimli and Legolas, I would still be sitting in Minas Tirith's library to this day, madly searching for case studies that would take me back to my time. I would still be working in the tavern, fighting off drunken guests with Earun.

My God.

How far away that life felt. Just like the one in the 21st century.

"But the rift will always be there," Legolas said. His voice sounded calm.

I nodded. "I wasn't made for your world, I just live in it. I have thought long and hard about this since Morgoth made me his sham offer. Middle Earth can be a home for me, but I can no longer pretend to myself that I belong there."

"You don't want to stay."

"Yes, I do, that's the thing."

He furrowed his brow. "I don't understand."

"Neither do I." I ran my hands over my face a second time. "I mean, not that I have a choice anyway. I'm a pawn of the Valar. If it suits them, I'll be pulled into another time or fall out of it altogether, who knows. Still... There's something else."

"What?"

"Sense," I said. "When I have finished my duty here, what will I do? What will I achieve? There are only so many years, I don't want to waste them. The idea of having no goal, no task, scares me."

"Did you have a goal in this world?" Legolas asked, looking around. London lived around us, unimpressed by my existential crisis. Because if I was being honest, that was what it was: I had had no real purpose in my old life, nothing to satisfy my need for purpose. Middle Earth had given me that, albeit in a twisted form. For the first time, I had something to work towards again, something that had given me direction. The fact that I had met Legolas and Gimli along the way had helped. Still, during our voyage, when it hadn't been clear that I was on a friggin' suicide mission, I had wondered what I would do afterwards. When all this was over. Would I stay in Middle Earth? Go with Legolas? Grow old under Thranduil's goshawk eyes? Build up Ithilien? I had no idea. The only thing I was certain of was the fact that all these possibilities were not my own path. They were tied to a person I loved, but who was not meant to be my purpose. The real question I was asking myself was: Who was I if I put aside all the unfortunate circumstances, the time travel, my relationship with Legolas? What was left then?

"For a while," I said in response to Legolas' question. "But then the world happened and I got swept away by it."

"The disease."

"Yes."

"And before that?"

We had come to a halt. I hadn't realized, but my feet had carried me to my old apartment without me noticing. "I wanted to be a scientist," I said. "I wanted to question and discover new things."

"Then you've found your answer. You can do that anywhere – whether it's in Middle Earth or here, in your own time." He looked at me and then at the house. "Where are we?"

"This is my home. The one I lived in back then, before..." I broke off, not wanting to bring up the subject again.

Legolas tilted his head up. "It fascinates me how buildings like this can exist next to ones like the museum."

"Not everyone can live in a palace, sir."

He stifled a grin. "It has a certain character for sure."

"Do you dare go in, or is that beneath you?"

"How couldn't I?" he said, no longer suppressing his grin.

So I went ahead and led him up the admittedly breakneck steep stairs, which were carpeted in typical British fashion, to the entrance. Before I could think whether I would need a key, the door opened by itself.
Inside, everything looked just as I had left it. I had rushed out of the apartment and only came back a month later to tidy up the rest of my belongings. It looked as if I had just abandoned it. "Welcome to my humble home," I said, looking around. Everything here seemed shabby compared to the Woodland Realm and I felt the shame before it crept into my cheeks. Yes, he knew the room I had lived in back in Minas Tirith, but this was different.

My eyes wandered over to the small wardrobe, which I had painted dark green and on which hung one of my winter coats. Less than two meters away was my couch, a small table and an armchair next to a fireplace that was functional. I had attached my two guitars, which I used to play a lot, to the wall. To the left of the living room corner was the kitchen in an alcove. It consisted of two countertops, a fridge and a stove that had been squeezed into a nook. Next to the wardrobe, there was an even more narrow staircase up to the second floor – to the bedroom and bathroom.

I went over to the fireplace, vented it and knelt down to start a flame. It wasn't until I was looking for the flint that I realized I didn't need to do that. I had a heater. All I had to do was turn it on.

Slowly, I lowered my hand and looked over at Legolas, who was gazing at me questioningly. "We don't need a fire. You remember what I told you about heaters?"

"But it makes the room more cozy."

"Like a Hobbit-hole?"

He cocked his head. "I must confess I've never been in one. But Merry and Pippin have talked a lot about the Shire."

I hesitated for a moment, then bent down and lit the fire. Without a stone, but with a lighter instead. How I had missed this simple piece of modern technology in my first weeks in Minas Tirith – before Earun had taken pity on me and practiced lighting fires with me. The thought made me smile.

To dispel the melancholy, I started my music box, which – I had almost forgotten – was connected to a voice assistant. Legolas gasped audibly as Alexa complied with my request and began to play my favorite tracklist. "A world of wonders," he murmured barely perceptible and I had to smile again as he walked across the room. "I don't understand the contrast though."

"What contrast?"

"This house... it's…"

"Run down?", I offered.

He shrugged with an apologetic expression. "And at the same time, something like this device is in your possession."

"The one has little to do with the other. Technology doesn't have to be expensive. Besides, much of what you don't know is so common to us that it can even be found in... less well-off households," I said. "Although there are big differences, too. I'm privileged, even in an apartment like this. In every city there are people who have to live on the streets and countries where what little they might have is taken away from them before they even have the chance to own it."

"So it's more a world of opposites."

"Yeah," I replied. "Unfortunately."

The song ended and there was silence for a moment. Then the first notes of the next song started to play. Legolas stood motionless for a second, listening, then he looked at me. "I remember it."

"Me too. The last time we danced to it."

"Then we shouldn't break that custom."

I stepped in front of him a little awkward. Even though we had shared many close moments, it was strange to think back to that first one and what had followed it. The situation was like a blueprint, only this time we were in my world – as close as we could get to it – instead of just talking about it.

Legolas' hands wrapped around my waist, carefully, as if to make sure I really wanted to dance. I wrapped my arms around his neck and let him guide me around the living room to the soft opening tunes.
It still surprised me how real it all felt: I could scent him, feel his breath on my cheek and my heart beating so fast in my chest that I thought it was about to jump out.

"I never told you this," he said suddenly as my head rested against his shoulder, "but I didn't follow you because I thought you were a thief. Not at first, at least."

"Then why?"

We swayed to the beat of the song for a heartbeat longer, then he said, "I'm not sure. It was a feeling, a certainty that I'd make a mistake if I didn't turn back. As if we had met before. Gimli didn't like that."

"You dragged him halfway across the city."

"Yeah," he said with a grin. "At least he got a tankard of your cheap ale."

"One of the best cheap beers in town, I might add," I said half-jokingly. Then, a moment later, "So, was it a mistake?"

Legolas' chest vibrated under my right hand. "Never." Carefully, he stroked my hair until his fingers found my chin and directed my gaze upwards to his."Don't always assume the worst, Aspen."

"But that protects me from disappointment."

"Yes," he replied quietly, "but it also stops you from losing yourself in the moment."

It was kind of ironic that he of all people would say that when he had been so reluctant to accept that sometimes you had to let yourself fall into something. Or wasn't that what he meant?

Because I was uncertain, I asked: "What do you mean?"

"Gimli once said that mortals live through change and we Elves stand in time like rocks, unmoving." He spun me around so that I now had my back to the kitchen wall. "He wasn't quite right about that. It may seem to mortals as if we are standing still, but in truth we only perceive time differently. When something captivates us, centuries are just a blink of an eye that we gladly sacrifice to capture the very moment."

"That sounds beautiful," I said quietly, "and at the same time, it's something I'll never experience."

"No." Pause. "And you don't need to. Unlike us, you're destined to experience many moments and let them go after you've tasted them to fill your life with more."

"Sometimes I'd like to hold on to them longer," I whispered. "Like now."

His gaze was so intense that I felt the heat creep into my cheeks again, only this time for a different reason. But I had meant what I had said. I would remember this moment and I would hold on to it. So I reached out and gently ran my hand along his jaw. His skin felt warm, familiar, and my heart leapt into my throat. It was crazy that here of all places, now of all times, I felt safe enough to pick up where we had left off earlier.

My fingers moved on, through a strand of his hair and over the top of his ear. They lingered there for a second, before I lowered my hand again.

Legolas stood very still, his eyes searching mine. He seemed almost frozen in place, as if he didn't quite know if he was willing to oblige. But he allowed it to happen. All of it. Only the way he let the air in and out of his lungs told me that my touch did indeed have an effect on him.

When I almost thought he was going to leave it at that, he took my face in both hands and leaned down towards me. His breath brushed over my cheeks, then his lips found mine. His kiss was the exact opposite of the hesitation that had held him back a few seconds ago – fierce and full of want. He moved us forward until I was pushed against the wall behind me, shielded by one of his hands, which he had released from my face just in time. It was as if he too was aware of the unique nature of the situation. It almost felt like we could steal this moment to return to reality and our problems at a later point.

A soft sigh escaped my lips, my hands uselessly pressed against his chest. This somehow made Legolas return to the present, as he slowly detached himself from me. But only a few inches. "Are you sure, Aspen?" he asked in a low voice.

"Are you afraid that Morgoth will catch us?" I replied with a twinkle in my eyes.

Legolas smirked. "No, that's not it... it's just... I..." He broke off.

Was he stuttering? My centuries-old Elf, who would rather have his left arm cut off than admit he wasn't in control of a situation, was insecure?

I looked at him more attentively now and asked, "What's wrong?"

He ran his fingertips gently over my forehead. "We're going to bond, Aspen," he said under his breath. "Is that what you want?"

"If it means that we will remain together: yes," I replied just as quietly.

Legolas let out an almost relieved sigh as he leaned his forehead against mine. I could feel his heartbeat under my hand, just as fast and erratic as my own. And for the first time, I realized that despite his age, despite his life story, he was still a person who made mistakes, who was afraid, who questioned himself. And that brought me so much closer to him.

With a sudden sense of urgency, I pressed against him, restless now, as if every second mattered. He returned the touch of my lips, feverishly seeking his, just as impatiently, then lifted me up as if I weighed nothing more than a feather and carried me over to the couch.

Before he could even set me down, my fingers were already searching for the buttons on his garment. We had allowed way too much time to pass. When I didn't get a hold of them straight away, a small, frustrated sound slipped out of my mouth.

Legolas placed a hand on mine and said with an amused expression, "Don't be so impatient, Meleth Nîn." Then he began to open the buttons himself, painfully slow. I watched him closely, his every movement making the feeling throbbing through my body grow stronger, and the look in his eyes told me that he knew exactly what he was doing.

As he undid the last clasp, I reached out to touch his skin. It felt just as feverish as mine, but again it was he who stopped me from sliding the tunic off his shoulders. Instead, he leaned over me. However, now his lips were caressing my neck. Little by little, until he had reached the height of my collarbone. At the same time, I felt the hand he wasn't using to support himself push my skirt up just as excruciatingly slow as he had opened his garment.

The rush of air that passed over my legs now that the fabric no longer protected them sent a small shiver over my skin. His fingertips running up the inside of my thigh added to the sensation. I wanted him to touch me, to really touch me, and I wanted it now. With a stifled whimper, I pushed my hips up and felt Legolas' fingers find their place.

His hand sent small shocks through my body and with each movement of his fingers we both lost restraint. While still touching me, he leaned over me again. This time, when I tried to push the fabric off his shoulders, I was successful. He only let me interrupt him for a brief moment though before immediately sliding back between my thighs. I moaned as his fingers made me lose my mind, leaning towards him. But then, just before he could push me over the edge, he pulled back.

"Look at me," he said, his voice hoarse. It was as if I was rising out of a haze that was only ever so slowly letting me go. "Look at me, Aspen."

When I finally opened my eyes, I noticed that it wasn't just my breathing that was rapid, it wasn't just my cheeks that had blushed. Legolas' gaze burned into mine like sunlight through glass. I couldn't look away and while he still held my eyes captive, his fingers returned to where they had been before. They moved leisurely at first, then with growing momentum, and I moved with them. My breath quickened until I could no longer hold back.

I fell into the cushions of the couch, trembling, until Legolas pulled me into an embrace. Gently, almost tenderly, he ran his hand through my hair, over the skin of my upper arm and finally rested it on my hip. For a long moment, I just lay there, my eyes fixed on the ceiling, my breath still ragged. I felt him behind me, the pressure of his lower body against mine. Instinctively, I pushed myself towards him and coaxed a deep moan out of him. The grip of his hand around my hip tightened and knowing that this small movement was enough to provoke such a reaction made me bolder. I turned around, pushed him onto his back and followed the trail of his muscles. When my hand reached the waistband of his pants, it paused briefly. The fabric hid less than it revealed and hungry glances were followed by my equally hungry fingers, which quickly freed him from the interfering cloth. Legolas too stripped me off of my clothes, his eyes never leaving my body for a second.

Now it was me who bent down over him, slowly kissing my way down his chest until I reached his waist again. The moment my tongue ran over his shaft elicited another moan out of him. "Aspen," he murmured, his hand in my hair, his breathing so fast and erratic that I not only felt his want, I heard it too.

But he didn't let me finish what I had started. With one swift movement, he pulled me up and rolled us over so that I was lying underneath him. Almost painfully slow, he began to move his hips on top of mine, his warm lips on my mouth.

A small, needy whimper escaped my throat and I tried to get him to slide lower, but he just shook his head.

"Please..." I whispered in between kisses. As if he hadn't understood what I wanted.

He didn't stop, just released his lips from mine and brought them to my ear. "Please what, Lirimaer**?"

I knew he was teasing me and I hated him for making it work. My body quivered under his touch, but he couldn't be swayed to fulfill my need.

So I obliged.

"I want you to fuck me," I managed, his breath still brushing my ear. "Now please..."

"Your wish is my command," he said in a low voice and not a second later I sensed him pushing inside me. I sucked in a sharp breath as he waited a heartbeat for me to get used to him. After that, he picked up a steady pace.

With each movement, I sank deeper into the feeling burning inside me – like a long smoldering fire that was fanned even more the longer I was surrounded by the scent of Legolas' skin, the longer I had his lips on mine and his thrusts inside me.

It didn't just feel real, it was real. Even though our bodies slept in the physical world, dressed in the entrance to a cave, we made a connection with one another right now, in the dream realm, that was so much more powerful than I would have thought possible.

It wasn't long before he became faster, more out of control. I dug my fingernails into his back, my legs wrapped tightly around his hips. Then my body was overrun with sensations far stronger than anything I had ever known, and Legolas followed shortly after.

A while later, I was lying in his arms, snug under a blanket, watching a blackbird outside as it hopped from one branch to the next. I thought again of how relieved Legolas had been when I had told him that I would bond with him. As if he had expected anything other than that. Out of my thoughts, I asked, "Did you think I wouldn't want this, wouldn't want you?"

He waited a moment to answer before he said: "For us, entering into a bond means more than just…"

"Sex," I finished his sentence.

Legolas behind me tilted his head barely noticeable. "We are now entwined in a way that cannot be reversed. We will find each other anywhere if we listen to our hearts."

"Anywhere?" I asked quietly, thinking of Maglor's warning about falling into another time.

"Yes." I felt him slide his hand over my shoulder. Warm shivers followed his touch. "Everywhere."

"Even though our bodies are asleep in the physical world?"

"It's not about the very act," he said. "The bond can be formed in other ways. Do you remember what I said about how we have to have a connection so I can find you in the dream realm?"

"Hm."

"Before, this connection was already tangible. Now it's like a thread that neither of us can let go of."

So I had been right. I turned around to face him. "But how? If I leave this time, how will I find you?"

"That depends on where you end up. But let's talk about it later. I have something else I want to give you."

"Here?" I asked, surprised.

"No," he smiled, "in the waking world."

"So we've had enough sleep," I said with a mischievous grin.

Now he laughed too. "If that's your idea of sleep…"

I shrugged my shoulders, sat up and slipped back into my dress. Even though I wasn't sure if that was necessary. Legolas did the same.

When we were both dressed again, he pointed to the two guitars hanging on my wall. "Are these yours?"

"Yes." I tied my hair into a simple braid. "I used to play a lot and sing along. Piano, too."

"Piano?"

I looked at him with a furrowed brow, then remembered that this instrument probably didn't exist in Middle Earth yet. "A keyed instrument. Its sound is special, very different from that of the guitar."

"It's not a lute?" Legolas asked, stepping closer to the two instruments with curiosity.

"Well." I contemplated. "You could call lutes their predecessors, I guess. Guitars are tuned lower and have less range. They are simply designed for different kinds of music."

"Fascinating," Legolas said, running his hand over the strings of the lower guitar. "When we come back, you must show me how to play them."

"You are playing, lute I mean?" I asked as I smoothed my skirts. Legolas watched me with an expression in his eyes that made the blood rush to my cheeks again.

"It's been a long time." He offered me his arm. "Come. It's time."

Taking a deep breath, I woke up at the entrance to the cave, in the exact same dirt-stained clothes, but a lot happier. As I lifted my head, I saw Legolas looking down at me.

"We're in desperate need of fresh clothes," I said.

"Most definitely."

"Good thing I thought that... circumstance away in the dream."

"I'm glad you did, too."

With a grin, I sat up and stretched. But as I was about to stand up, Legolas held me back. "Just a moment longer, Aspen."

I remembered that he had wanted to give me something, so I stayed seated and watched as he grabbed the back of his neck and shortly afterwards pulled a necklace from under his shirt. I had never noticed it before, but then again, it was the first time I had ever undressed Legolas in the dream realm.

He took my hand, opened it and placed the necklace into my palm. "I want you to wear it," he said. "It's very important to me because... it belonged to my mother. Father gave it to me after she went to the realm of shadows."

"Then you should keep it." I glanced at him tentatively, but he shook his head. "No."

"But I... have nothing to give you in return."

A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. "I gift it to you, Aspen."

With that, he stood up and offered me a hand. I took it and felt him gently brush my hair aside as soon as I stood on both feet. He then put the necklace around my neck. "Let's go inside," he said gently into my right ear. "I'm sure Gimli will be waiting."

"Of course he is," I said, "with an audacious plan that has a ninety-five percent chance of failing."

I let my hand slip into his before we turned and walked back into the cave.

Hopefully I wouldn't fall into another time. Or out of it altogether.

** beautiful