Glenn's P.O.V
Coming back from that pharmacy run, I felt like all eyes were on me. No. I mean, how could they even have any idea what went on there? But those eyes—Amy's eyes—were killing me. I mean, she gave me a death stare whenever Maggie even breathed in my direction, but now? When Maggie actually tried to have… sex with me? I was basically shaking after I gave Lori her requested prenatal pregnancy bullshit. I mean, this girl really tried to sleep with me.
It felt hazy when I thought about it; I barely remembered any of the things she said to try and convince me. I mean, I get it—I guess. The whole last-people-on-Earth type thing. But like—why me? To make matters worse, the minute we got back, I was just given the immediate cold shoulder as if I had done something wrong by trying to stay faithful to the girl the group was actively looking for.
Maybe that was the issue; Daryl was out there alone right now, looking for any trace of Sophia or Majesty, and then here I was, going on store runs and handling the brunt of the group's drama. We were trying to get in with these people and stay here, and I was pissing off the farmer's daughter by rejecting her advances and keeping her in the friend zone. A guy like me never had female friends to begin with, and I did not know how to keep her there without making her think I was interested as well. Was I giving off mixed signals? No. We literally had one conversation. Or two.
I stormed into the RV and sat down at the empty table, placing my head into my hands. Thinking about it, I had this same kind of situation with Majesty when we first got together. When I first started working at the pizza shop, she was already there, taking way too much pride in her delivery position. I mean, when she was training me, it just felt like she hated me; she was dismissive, rude, and then randomly overfriendly. I smirked at the memory of the night it all happened, how we were alone at the pizza shop—I had known her for like two weeks. It was awkward because I never knew if she liked me or not, and then randomly she just comes up and brings me this joint, asking if I smoked.
I didn't, but there was no way I was going to tell her that. Yeah, I let her bait me into getting super high. The way she kissed me, the way she made me feel that night—literally in the back of a pizza shop. I was in love instantly. A couple years later, and here I was. Now facing a girl I just met trying to have sex with me in the back of a pharmacy… Was it just me?
"What are you in here smiling about?" Dale's voice shocked me, making me jump as he entered the RV. He placed the water jug he was holding onto the ground and started fumbling with some stuff in the RV. I sat there, watching him and brainstorming how I was going to bring this up.
After a few seconds of building up some courage, I blurted out, "Dale, how do I know when a woman likes me—like wants to have sex with me, seriously?"
He coughed in an old man way, clearly taken aback at the question I just posed for him. With wide eyes, he stared at me. "Excuse me, son?"
"It's just that—I swear Maggie was like coming onto me when we went on that run at the store."
"What is making you say that?"
Flustered now, I began explaining what happened at the pharmacy as my cheeks burned. "Well, when we were in the store, she was just like… I don't know—the way she was talking and getting close to me. Flirting—"
"Spit it out, son," Dale interrupted my stuttering, now taking a seat across from me and interested in my story.
"Well, I had grabbed some condoms, and she saw, and she just thought I was coming onto her—but I told her I wasn't—I swear! After I told her I would never try that, she acted offended. I didn't know what to say, so I told her I didn't mean it like that, and then she just basically said that she would have sex with me." I sighed and leaned back after I finished explaining, feeling relieved to get that guilt off my chest.
The shocked look settled on Dale's face didn't move as he asked, "Well, did you?"
"No, of course not! I just don't know if she was serious. And like, then when I told her no, it just seems like she's mad at me now. I don't know if she's mad because I told her no or mad because I thought she was serious."
Dale sighed, keeping this uncomfortable eye contact with me. I felt like I was in trouble with my dad or something. This is how I knew my relationship with Maggie was messed up at that point. If Dale was looking at me that way, then I knew everyone else was going to feel the same way. I was such a piece of shit.
"You know, when we find Majesty, I'm telling her everything." That voice. Amy had just walked into the RV, and I just knew she had heard everything. "You and that farm girl are going to be so dead."
"Oh, boy," Dale breathed out his words with stress, standing back up and walking away from the table. I wanted badly to do exactly that; Amy's confrontation made my entire body heat up with a blaze.
"Amy, please…" I knew right away that my pleading was going to fall on deaf ears.
"Don't even try that with me—Daryl is out there risking his life right now looking for Sophia and my friend, and you're making sexy store runs with that slut of a farmer's daughter." Amy was talking so fast she could barely keep up with her words, her pale face red, flustered, and stress-ridden deep in her frown lines.
"You don't think I want to be out there right now, searching high and low for her? I've been with that girl nonstop for the past three almost four years, and I haven't even thought about another woman. She means more to me than anything." My voice cracked as I finished my speech, even getting a little bit angry at the idea that Amy could think I would rather be out with Maggie than finding the girl I was in love with.
Dale intervened, coming back and putting two hands up in between the two of us. "There's no need for the two of you to get so worked up. It was probably just a misunderstanding there between Maggie and Glenn, and a simple conversation could figure that out—and might alleviate some of the tension here."
Before any of us could get a word in, a single gunshot silenced our conversation, making the RV tremble from above. The three of us rushed out. I looked up at Andrea at the top of the RV, a proud grin on her lips. A distressed yell came from the field, where my eyes would go next to see the rest of the men of the group standing there.
There was some chaos as more of the group and Hershel's family ran outside to see what was going on as well, and when I saw Rick and Shane carrying what looked like a bloody and passed-out Daryl, I ran to meet them halfway into the field to see what the hell was actually going on.
"What the hell happened to him? Why is he wearing ears?" I yelled frantically, followed by Andrea running behind me, shouting, "Oh my God, did I kill him? Is he dead?"
Through grit teeth, Rick observed the walker-ear necklace I had noticed strung around Daryl's dirty and bloody neck, ripping it off as he answered, "You grazed him; he's unconscious."
I followed closely behind them, completely flabbergasted that Andrea decided to shoot at Daryl and also that he was lucky enough to only have gotten grazed. "Guys!" We turned to see T-Dog still standing back from the group, holding up a dingy doll that looked all too familiar. "Isn't this Sophia's?"
A thick and tense silence filled the air as everyone had a grimace on their face. My stomach was doing flip-flops as I thought about what else Daryl could've seen or found, my head getting cloudy at the idea of him waking up and giving me any kind of bad news. Shane and Rick carried him into the house, and I went into the RV, cupping my hand and using some of the water from Dale earlier to rub a hand down the burning skin on my face. I had to talk to Daryl. I needed to hear something, anything.
I gave it some time, trying not to get lost in my thoughts about the situation—basically going crazy as I thought about how slow time was ticking. These past days have been non-stop drama and roller coasters. The stress was getting to me so bad that I had no patience anymore to wait and see if Daryl was up. Swinging open the RV door, I started a jog to get to the farmhouse, unfortunately noticing Maggie sitting on the porch blocking the front door.
This was not the time that I wanted to deal with her and her emotions at all, especially with this feeling now that Amy was waiting around every corner, waiting to catch me in the act. And the worst part was that I wasn't even doing anything to be caught in the act of.
When I got closer, Maggie stood up, and there was no avoiding this conversation now. I slowed my walk to a stop and stood at the bottom of the stairs, staring at her, putting my hands in my pockets awkwardly. I stared at her for as long as I could before my eyes started to scatter around the environment uncomfortably.
"Look, I just wanted to apologize if it came off that I was pressuring you or anything of that nature," she started in a low voice, her apology coming out gently in her sweet Southern drawl. She sounded ashamed, and I appreciated her apology for my sake.
"Nah, I get it—well I don't—but it's okay. Really."
"I would never… get with a guy with a girlfriend. Talking to you like that, putting you in that situation was selfish." She paused. "Sometimes I just be thinking about the world we live in, and being the last people alive, how we can die tomorrow. It's not fair I lost some sense of control when talking to you."
Honestly, I didn't know what to say in the situation. As she shrugged and shuffled her weight around, eyes stuck on the ground, I actually began to feel bad for her. I just didn't understand why it had to be me in this situation. We sat in silence as I brainstormed for a response, neither of us making any eye contact. Eventually, she sighed, nodded to herself, and walked away. God, she was so confusing. For no reason, I felt bad for how I was handling her. I wanted to fix it, but she was not my first priority by a long shot. Now I could get to Daryl.
Making my way through the house, I found the corridor where the guest rooms were and knocked on the door I found Lori standing outside of. As I walked through, I overheard the back end of the conversation Daryl was having with Rick and Shane while Hershel stitched up the wounds he had acquired while on his run.
"What's up, Glenn?" Rick asked as he began rolling up the map we had been using to trace our steps when looking for the two missing group members.
All eyes were on me as I struggled to get some words out. I was nervous to ask and get that bad news. I didn't know if I wanted news at all. Swallowing the knot in my throat, I asked, "Did you find anything else—I mean besides the doll."
There was a silence in the room as everyone looked to Daryl for his answer. I had to block out the feeling of my heart beating out of my chest to focus on the response he was going to give me. Hopefully.
Daryl looked up and down, an unreadable expression on his face scaring the hell out of me. He cleared his throat, answering after what felt like forever in his gruff voice, "There was sumn'. Them shoes she be wearin'," he started nodding along with his words like he was trying to convince himself. "Those butt-ugly ones, with the flowers. I found one. Just one a hill facing the creek."
My stomach sank before I even fully processed his words, my head getting hot, and this overwhelming feeling of dread consuming me. I felt woozy, like any second I could just faint right there. Billions of scenarios began cycling through my head, none giving me a clear, concise conclusion or feeling about a shoe in the fucking creek. I mean, how would he even know if it was really hers? Of her things, the black and red rose-pattern Vans were missing though. Were they? It's not like she had many shoes. Yeah, those were the ones. I couldn't cope with the denial of the situation by lying to myself.
"That doesn't mean she isn't out there still. It could mean anything," Rick said affirmingly. It must have been obvious how that information had changed my entire mood and thought process. I thought about it again, gulping hard as my eyes began stinging, a heavy feeling in my chest.
"No, I know." I paused, searching for something to say. "I think I'm going to go tell Amy or something."
"We're going to keep looking, for both of them," Rick assured me firmly, giving me a nod. I returned it, pursing my lips as I tried to conceal the doubt that was on my face.
I was not giving up, and I didn't want to give up. But like, how would her shoe end up off her body? My breathing was shaky as I thought about her even just being ripped to shreds so badly that her shoe ended up floating in a creek. I mean, also she could've tripped and lost her shoe—or maybe it got stuck while she was running and came off her foot? The shoe was just too vague and the worst sign I could ask for me to be stable right now. I don't know how I was expected to go and sit at dinner tonight with this information swirling through my mind. I might even have wanted to hear a solid answer before hearing that.
Before I fully exited the room, I stopped, not facing Daryl when I asked, "Was there anything on it? Like blood. Was it—was it bad?"
Silence again, the feeling of dread was creeping back up my body and tapping on my shoulder, ready to choke me out and steal my breath right there. It was like Daryl wasn't answering me right away for dramatic effect. Holy shit.
"Not that I could see."
His words alleviated enough of the pressure on my chest that I fully was able to take in a big breath of confident air. I HAD to keep hope alive for my own sake. I never wanted to go through the range of physical, mental, and emotional anguish that I had in those few seconds of uncertainty. Finally, I left the room, breathing in the smell of the fresh food being cooked by the women of the group and the farm. The last time we could eat like this was at the CDC. It hadn't been that long, but it felt like forever ago. That was the happiest we had felt together as a group since this whole thing started, I think. The last time I slept peacefully next to my girl, belly full, warm, comfortable, even under the influence. What I would give to go back to that night and do so many things over.
"Glenn." Of course, the voice calling me now was Maggie, using a head nod to beckon me to come to her. I was hesitant, with way too many things on my mind to be dealing with Maggie now. "Dinner's ready."
Relieved that I didn't have to deal with any more drama for the day, I nodded at her in thanks with a small smile and followed her back to where the dining room was set up, the kids' table in the corner where Amy, Beth, and her boyfriend sat. Maggie looked at me with this small chuckle. "Yeah, we'll be sitting here. I can get you a plate."
I sat next to Amy, unsure of how to give her the news I had just heard. With everyone silently eating awkwardly, there was no chance of those thoughts getting off the front of my brain either. I wanted to go to sleep directly after eating. Like immediately. Truthfully, I wanted to pig out, scarf my food down, and leave the dinner. Of course, I had to be respectful to everyone here, so I just didn't. The dinner was supposed to bring everyone together, yet nothing was being said at all. I felt like I wanted to completely crawl out of my skin to escape the tension.
Finally, when the majority had finished their plate, I scraped up the bits on my own and brought them to the kitchen—eyes on the ground and head hanging low. Still itching to get away from everyone so I could really sit and think clearly. As I got to the sink, Maggie was there, gathering the dirty dishes to clean up. She smiled at me grimly. "You seem like something is on your mind."
I took a minute to think about my response, thankful at least for her attempt to get me talking. I didn't want to blow her off. "Yeah. I don't know, though."
"Do you want to talk in a few? I don't mind being a listening ear when I'm done." She didn't look at me while speaking up her proposal, and for the first time ever, she sounded shy. I didn't get this girl one bit—and what was I thinking? It wasn't my job to understand.
"Thank you, but I think I just want to think about this alone. I'm probably going to take a walk around the perimeter." I wasn't even sure what I was saying, cringing at the bad excuse I made that was clearly a lie. I felt like such an asshole with the way I was handling this girl's feelings. Without another word, I walked away, still feeling like a POS for no reason. Why was I doing this to myself? I literally did not owe Maggie anything. I literally just wanted to sit to myself and sulk, brainstorm, and maybe even cry about having to mourn my actual girlfriend that I haven't even gotten a second to mourn.
A crisp breeze hit me the minute I opened the door to the front porch, the night air and starry sky providing me some comfort. I began my trek, avoiding the camp's direction and veering to the left where the stables, barn, and farmland were located. I'd never even been on that side of the farm. It was eerily quiet and lonesome—exactly what I wanted. The minute I felt safe enough and out of sight, I put my back against the barn wall, dramatically sliding to the ground and sighing out heavily.
I never thought the day would come when I had to grieve her. Even with all the time we spent in this world, the amount of scared we shared together—I never thought THIS was the way it would happen. And to have a fucking shoe be the only confirmation that she was out there, probably terrified, cold, and alone when she went through whatever happened to her. All for Sophia, who was missing too. I didn't want to count the days anymore, but I was still teetering on this stage of denial and anger—was she alive, or was she not?
"Fuck!" I shouted quietly to myself, embracing everything I was feeling, trying to get the emotions to pass. Hitting the barn wall, I yelled louder, "Fuck!"
To my surprise and dismay, from inside the barn, I swore I heard the faint noise of… walkers? I tried to squint and peer through the cracks in the dark. Unless I was going crazy, there were definitely things moving around in there. No. No. I refused to believe what I was seeing and hearing. Oh, I hated how it was up to me sometimes to deal with the nitty-gritty.
Keeping the barn in mind, I began jogging back to where the camp was, thankful no one was really outside. I glanced back at the barn from where we had set up tents. There was no way that barn was full of walkers. I had to be sure. In my tent, I grabbed one of the flashlights I had tucked away in me and Majesty's things. Like I was on some kind of mission, I snuck out of the tent and tried to fast-walk back to the location of the barn so I could get a good look inside.
"Glenn!" Maggie was on the porch then, watching me intently. There was a suspicion in her voice that made me even more curious, and just seeing her made me pick up the pace into a light jog. "Glenn!" she yelled again, now following me off the porch.
From that point on, I took off into a sprint, trying to get back there before her to confirm my suspicions. There was no way she was just chasing after me for fun, right? We were both fully sprinting now; of course, I got there first—and before she fully could catch up, I was already climbing the ladder to get to the back top entrance of the barn. If it wasn't this kind of situation, I would actually find her chasing me kind of fun.
As soon as I stuck my head into the barn, the foul stench of rotting corpses baking in there hit me. I was taken aback at how potent it was—they had been here for a while. I shined the flashlight below me, getting a glance at at least a dozen silhouettes of the walkers shuffling around beneath me.
"Glenn! What are you doing here?" Maggie was behind me now, panting with wide, frantic eyes.
I stared into her face, riddled with confusion. "What is this?"
"You weren't supposed to see this."