The Wanderer
by BynWho
Disclaimer: This is a work of fanfic for entertainment purposes only. All characters and plots from the BBC show Merlin belong to the BBC. All other characters and plots belong to BynWho. No copyright infringement is intended.
Summary: Lancelot returns under mysterious circumstances, causing problems in Gwen and Arthur's relationship. Marian is suspicious and Gwaine tries to assuage her fears.
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Lancelot du Lac
"If you're lost, you can look, and you will find me. Time after time."
Gwen had no idea what the song was, but Marian was concentrating as she tied herbs together with string.
"If you fall, I will catch you, I will be wait-tiing!"
Gwen laughed when Marian lifted her head and shouted the words.
"Time after time. Time after tiiiimmmme…" Marian's eyes were closed as she trailed off the last word into a whisper.
Gwen smiled as she knocked on the door to get her attention.
"Oh, shit!" Marian's hand went to her chest as she dropped her bunch of nightshade. "You scared the life out of me!"
"Sorry," Gwen chuckled. "I didn't want to disturb your… uh… singing."
A pink blush edged its way up Marian's neck and face. "Oh, I was done."
Gwen struggled to contain her laughter. She'd never heard anyone sing with that much enthusiasm.
Marian cleared her throat. "Did you need something?"
"Arthur's asked me to marry him!" Gwen gushed, her smile as wide as it could go.
This should have made Marian wary, or at least it would have a year ago. But after Lancelot sacrificed his life for Camelot, there was nothing to worry about. The legend of Guinevere and Lancelot was a fiction Marian could do without.
She walked over to Gwen and grabbed her hands. "Really? Oh, my god, that's wonderful!" And wrapping Gwen in a hug, she laughed. "Honestly, it's about time."
Gwen pulled back and playfully smacked Marian on the shoulder. "Be nice."
"Oh, I am being nice. The dunderhead should have proposed ages ago!"
The engagement was brief, and less than a week later, there was a tourney in Camelot, leading up to Arthur and Gwen's wedding. It was idiocy. Marian didn't understand why a wedding, which was the celebration of love and commitment, was honored with a tourney. Injured knights weren't exactly appropriate wedding gifts.
That said, though Marian hated how violent the tourneys could get, she enjoyed watching as Arthur and the knights rode through the arena, catching circlets made of ribbon and offering them to the future queen. She perked up when she saw Gwaine enter the field on his horse. He was in full armor, which always seemed to turn her on. As she cheered him, Marian fantasized about what her life could have been if she had been allowed to love freely. Would she want such a show of affection, with the entire kingdom invited?
Gwaine kicked his horse into a gallop toward the ribbon circlet. He easily caught it on the end of his lance and rode to the royal box. Before he gave it to Gwen, he lifted his visor. Marian blushed when he turned his horse and caught her eye, winking from beneath his helmet.
No, Marian definitely wouldn't want such a spectacle. She imagined that if she were to marry anyone, it would be Gwaine, and that startled her. Not just the thought of settling down, but that it'd be him. She'd never considered marrying anyone before, least of all him. They were just friends. Close friends. Friends who shared kisses and touches and held each other. Friends who sought out each other in times of trial as well as in happiness. A friend she yearned to sleep with. That counted as friends, didn't it? Nothing more than friends.
But…
If she were to marry Gwaine, she wouldn't need a big wedding to show everyone that they were in love, but rather a small ceremony for them to commit their undying love to each other. Marian closed her eyes and indulged in her forbidden fantasy. Surely daydreaming wouldn't hurt because they're just friends. Only friends. Nothing more than friends.
Her thoughts were interrupted as the crowd erupted into cheers when another knight rode onto the field, prepared to catch another circlet. He was unrecognizable, though he rode beautifully. After Gwen removed it from his lance, the knight took off his helmet.
Lancelot.
Marian's hand flew to cover her mouth as she gasped in surprise. Her heart dropped to her stomach. Not only was it a shock to see him alive, but knowing what she knew of the legends, this didn't bode well for Gwen.
That night, the king invited Lancelot to dine in his private dining hall. Gwen and Agravaine sat on either side of Arthur and Gwaine, Leon, Percival, and Elyan filled the rest of the seats. Marian and Merlin had been invited … sort of. Merlin stood behind the king, ready to serve him, while Marian stood down at the other end of the table, near Lancelot. Gaius had kindly volunteered her services without discussing it with her.
There was something about Lancelot that made her uneasy. Sure, the legend thing was a worry, but he just didn't feel right. Marian couldn't explain it.
"I fear I remember very little after the moment I stepped through the veil. My story will not be as illuminating as I would like," Lancelot said.
Arthur and the others laughed. "We're just pleased to see you. Well, pleased and amazed."
Lancelot put his fork down. "I owe everything to the Madhavi people. When they found me, I was near death. Luckily for me, their customs dictate that they must give food and shelter to the needy. And I was certainly that."
Marian's brow knitted as she listened. She'd bet her life on it being rehearsed. There was no emotion in his words. It was as if he was reciting from memory, not telling a lived tale.
Leon took a sip from his goblet, then set it on the table. "Where did they find you?"
Marian watched the other knights as Lancelot answered. They were all attentive—only Gwaine continued to eat, of course. It seemed like everyone believed him. When she looked up at Merlin, though, she could tell he was doubtful as well.
"On one of the Silk Road passes, high in the Feorre Mountains."
"Cenred's kingdom," Elyan said.
That did it. Marian knew then that there was little truth in Lancelot's story because there was no way an unarmed man would survive in Cenred's kingdom, especially traveling with the peaceful people of the Madhavi. No, the lawless men of Essetir would have run them through, even taking pleasure in it. But why would he lie?
"I traveled with them for many weeks, deep into the deserts of the south. Then, slowly, my strength returned. When I was able, I earned my passage the only way I know how—by the sword," Lancelot smirked while the others chuckled.
When Gwaine noticed Marian hadn't laughed with everyone, he watched her watching Lancelot. Her eyes grew narrower and narrower the more Lancelot spoke. A grin spread across Gwaine's face as he observed the whirlwind of emotions flickering across her expressive features—the woman was an open book. First, there was concern, and then confusion, followed by… was that disgust? No, it was displeasure. His amusement faded with that one and he worried about what had bothered her.
"Then I slowly made my way north," Lancelot continued.
"You made your way home," Arthur said, smiling as he held Gwen's hand.
Both Marian and Merlin saw Gwen's wary smile as she stared at Lancelot. Worry gnawed away at Marian. She had to make sure the legend didn't come true. Somehow, she had to keep Gwen away from Lancelot.
"We can't thank you enough for what you sacrificed on the Isle of the Blessed. It will be remembered always," Arthur said.
"It is, indeed, good to see you once again. I would like to propose a toast," Lancelot said as he motioned to Marian to refill his goblet.
When she had finished, he dismissed her as if he didn't know her and stood to begin a toast. Marian's frown deepened. The Lancelot she had known would never be so callous to a servant, especially one who was a friend.
"To the people I hold most dear. To Camelot," Lancelot said, raising his glass.
The others followed suit, raising their goblets and toasted.
"To Camelot."
Marian looked at Merlin, unsettled. He was frowning as much as she was, and they quickly nodded to one another. They were going to find out what the hell happened to Lancelot.
As everyone filed out of the dining chamber, Marian and Merlin began clearing up. They stacked the plates and were clearing away the leftover food when Arthur bellowed for Merlin.
He looked at Marian. "I hate leaving you will all this."
She smiled softly at him. "Go."
"Thanks!" Merlin nodded and rushed out of the room.
When Gwaine saw Merlin had left Marian all on her own, he went back to the dining hall. "Need some help?"
"Only if you don't mind. It's a long way to the kitchens," she said as she stacked platters and utensils on a large tray.
"Not at all," Gwaine said, smiling. "Have you eaten?"
Marian sighed. "Not yet. I swear one of these days I'm going to learn to eat before serving you prats," she said, smiling.
Gwaine took her ribbing well and picked up Gwen's untouched dessert. "Can I tempt you? It's apple bread."
She rolled her eyes at him. "No thanks. I've got too much to clean up."
"Nonsense." Gwaine led her to an empty spot at the table and urged her to sit. "I'll get the rest together."
Marian smiled and picked up the wedge of apple bread.
"So," Gwaine began, eager to figure out why she was so upset. "It seems you aren't so pleased with Lancelot being back?"
"I…" She swallowed and sighed. "Was it that obvious?"
"Only to someone who knows you as well as I do. I can read you as easily as a book," he said as he gathered the goblets from the table.
"Something just doesn't seem right, you know? All that stuff about the Madhavi people being in Essetir? That just can't be true, can it?"
"Well, we have lost touch with them, so perhaps they sought refuge there."
Marian set the apple bread down. "Would you just listen to yourself? The Madhavi people seeking refuge in Essetir?"
"Well…"
"I mean, maybe when Cenred was alive. He probably would have found some way to exploit them in return for safe passage. But it's near lawless there now. Well, more lawless than before. There's no way they'd survive, much less an unarmed man newly reborn from death."
Gwaine chuckled as he walked over to her. "I think you're overthinking things, beautiful. It's just Lancelot," he said as he bent down and kissed her brow.
"Right," she said, frustrated that her concerns were dismissed. When she was finished with her food, she put the plate on the stack of dishes. She picked the tray up as he picked up the other tray, and they headed down to the kitchens in silence. After a minute or so, she stopped and turned to him. "He wasn't acting like Lancelot."
"What do you mean?"
She looked up at him as she started back down the stairs. "He was, well… he was rude. He didn't say thank you or acknowledge me or anything. We were friends, for fuck's sake!"
"He's probably just tired, is all. Don't worry yourself, love," he said to her as they reached the kitchen.
"What are you doing in here?" Audrey yelled when she saw Marian enter. The angry look on her face melted away when she saw Gwaine. "Oh! Sir Gwaine! How can I be of service on this lovely evening?"
Marian glared at Gwaine as he returned Audrey's smile. "Just bringing these down from the king's dining hall," he said as he showed her the trays.
Audrey giggled, which sounded odd coming from a temperamental woman twice her age. "Oh, you can set them over there. I'll get one of my girls to take care of them on the morrow." She grinned at Gwaine as he passed, but her face dropped to a scowl when Marian walked by.
They left their trays over on one of the counters and walked out of the kitchens, but not before Gwaine had the chance to bow and kiss the cook's hand as he left.
"Ugh," Marian grumbled after they were out of earshot. "That woman hates me!"
"Nonsense! Audrey is a lovely woman. I think you're just jealous."
"Jealous?" When she reached the landing, she turned on him. "Jealous of what? Her meanness? Or her screeching? Or her… her… meanness?"
Gwaine laughed. "You know, beautiful, if you want me to flirt with you, all you need to do is say so," he said as he walked past her.
"I… Why you… you…" she stuttered as she tried to come up with something, anything to get as much under his skin as he did hers.
She followed him into the corridor and stepped into his path, blocking him. He leaned in closer, smirking at her. He smelled of leather and musk, and all she wanted to do was grab his stupid face and kiss him into oblivion.
"Me, what?" he asked.
"You… flirting cabbage-head!" That wasn't her best, and she knew it.
Gwaine's grin widened. "Goodnight, beautiful," he said as he took her hand and kissed her knuckles before turning to go to his chambers.
Marian went in the other direction, hoping that Gaius had saved her a plate of dinner. "Cabbage-head? Jesus, you idiot," she said to herself. "Jealous though?" She rubbed her face. "Fuck me, he's right."
Thankfully, Gaius had saved a bowl of stew for Marian. She sat down on a bench to eat when Merlin came out of his room with a worried look on his face.
"Oh, no," Gaius said as Merlin began to pace. "I've seen that face before."
"I want to believe that everything is fine. And that we really have Lancelot back."
"It certainly looks like him."
"But doesn't act like him," Marian said between mouthfuls of food.
"Yeah," Merlin agreed as he nodded toward her. "Exactly!"
"What is it?" Gaius asked, looking between them.
Merlin stopped pacing and sat next to Marian. "I don't know. Something's wrong." Leaning in and lowering his voice, he continued, "When he was telling his story, I sensed it. The way he greeted me, that made me suspicious. But what happened just now, that's made me sure." He looked back at the door to his room, where Lancelot was sleeping, and sighed. "He forgot I had magic. Lancelot would never do that."
"Strange, indeed. Give him time," Gaius said.
"Time to what?" Marian asked. "Gaius, he didn't even recognize me at supper."
"Perhaps his memory has been damaged?"
"Or altered…" Merlin said.
Whatever the reason, they would have to wait to find out why the man sleeping in Merlin's room wasn't acting like the Lancelot they all knew and, in the meantime, pretend like nothing was wrong.
The violent part of the tourney began in the morning. The knights battled each other in jousting competitions, the winner moving up until there would only be two remaining. Marian was too busy treating injuries right outside of the field to be annoyed. She was thankful that the hospital tent remained empty, though. That way, she could keep an eye on Lancelot.
She just finished patching up Sir Bors, who had lost to Gwaine, when Gwen came up to her.
"Lancelot's next, isn't he?"
Marian nodded. "Are you okay with him being here?"
"Of course!" Gwen answered a little too quickly. "Why wouldn't I be? He's a friend."
Marian nodded. "Right." If she could, she'd drag Gwen back to the castle and lock her up until they figured out this whole Lancelot situation. But Arthur would probably take exception to that. She looked down at a silver bracelet on Gwen's wrist. "That's new."
Gwen followed her gaze. "Oh, this? Lancelot gave it to me. Isn't it beautiful? He said the Madhavi people gave it to him."
"Gwen, be careful."
"He gave it to me as a token for good fortune in my marriage to Arthur, that's all, Marian." Gwen gave her a tight smile, then walked back up to the stands to take her place in the royal box.
Marian frowned. Now Gwen was acting weird. The Lancelot Situation just got more complicated.
That evening, after they finished their duties, Merlin and Marian sat down with Gaius to eat.
Merlin took a bite and swallowed quickly. "Mm… Chicken is good. Nice broth. What do you know about necromancy?"
Marian choked on her food and Gaius's spoon clattered to the bowl as Merlin pounded on Marian's back.
"What?" Gaius asked.
"Well, you know lots… about lots of things, don't you?"
Gaius fixed Merlin with a stern stare. "Necromancy is the most dangerous of all magical practices. Even in the days of the Old Religion, such sorcery was viewed with the utmost suspicion. I know I'm going to regret asking this, Merlin, but why do you want to know?"
Merlin looked back at the closed door to his room, then leaned in and lowered his voice. "I think that someone has raised Lancelot from the dead."
"By someone, I presume you mean Morgana?"
Merlin nodded.
Gaius sighed. "The old legends do speak of such creatures. They call them shades. Poor, tormented souls summoned from their rest by the necromancer's art."
"That's sick," Marian said. "Even for Morgana."
"So, it is possible?" Merlin asked.
Gaius shook his head. "Even if it is possible, we have no way of knowing for sure."
Merlin picked up a thick book from the floor. On the front cover, the title shined in gold lettering, The Art of Necromancy. He looked between Gaius and Marian, his eyebrows raised.
Gaius tilted his head. "Or do we?"
They scoured through The Art of Necromancy and found a passage on revealing shades.
"So you have to paint this," Marian pointed to an illustration of a spiral, "and say a spell?"
"Don't worry, I'm up for it."
Marian shuddered at another picture of a man with a skeleton in place of flesh walking across the spiral. "This is what's supposed to happen, then? He just walks over it and we'll see this?"
Gaius nodded.
"Nightmare fuel."
Merlin got to work on painting the spiral as Marian kept watch by his chamber door. When he finished, Merlin said the incantation and the paint glowed red, then faded.
Marian heard movement within Merlin's chamber. "He's awake," she hissed as she moved away from the door.
"It's time," Merlin whispered, nodding to the broom cupboard.
They tiptoed to it and, hiding inside, they watched through cracks in the door as Lancelot walked across the spiral. The paint glowed red, and in place of the flesh of his face, Lancelot's skull was visible.
Lancelot was a shade.
"I didn't want it to be true," Merlin said after Lancelot left.
"I know. We all wanted him back," Gaius said. "This man's a shadow of his former self. A shadow with ill intent."
"Do you think he means to harm Arthur?"
"Er… not physically," Marian said.
"What do you mean? Is this to do with the legends?" Merlin asked.
Marian nodded and spoke almost too fast for them to keep up. "Yeah, it is. I know I should have said something before, but I really hoped it'd be wrong. It's stupid and everyone thinks it's some great love story, but really it's just sad. I mean, there were movies and stories and plays and it's just not romantic. It's like Romeo and Juliet, which is tragic too. I really hated this part of the legen—"
"Marian!" Gaius said, trying to put a stop to her rambling. "Would you please tell us?"
She sighed. "In the legends, Lancelot… steals Guinevere from Arthur. They have a love affair while Arthur is on a long quest. She's sentenced to die, but at the last moment, Lancelot saves her, and they ride away from Camelot forever."
"But Arthur isn't on any quest," Merlin said.
"No, but there always seems to be a twist to these things."
"Well, whatever his reason for being here, it can't be good," Gaius said.
Marian was hypervigilant as the tourney continued the next day. Everything made her jumpy. She'd almost had a heart attack when Percival had sneaked up behind her for some salve before the tourney started. She felt her attention being divided and wasn't sure if she could watch Lancelot and attend to her duties. So, to make it easier on her, Merlin and Gaius stood to the side of the field, watching Lancelot, while Marian tended to the injuries alone.
She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself when she saw Gwaine was up next. The mere sight of him made her heart flutter, which, of course, drove her mad. And not in a good way. He had an effect on her that made the rest of the world disappear. And sure, the flutter in her heart and flip of her stomach made her like a lovesick fool. But at the moment she was fixated on how hot he was in his chainmail and damn, did he look so fuckable in all of that armor, seated on his horse, all high and manly and… and… fuckable.
She grinned as her thoughts of him went on and on, but sobered instantly when she saw he was about to face Lancelot. Lancelot's intentions weren't clear, so to Marian, everyone was in danger. God forbid he hurt Gwaine, she'd kill him herself.
The knights took off, riding toward one another, lances in position. When they reached the middle of the track, their lances hit their mark, both shattering. Lancelot rode on while Gwaine was knocked from his horse, his foot catching in the stirrup, and he was dragged several yards until the mount slowed, then stopped.
Marian started forward but froze when Lancelot got off of his horse and helped Gwaine to his feet. He went to the other side of the field while Gwaine limped over to Marian's makeshift hospital and plopped into the chair beside her.
"Damn!" he swore under his breath.
Marian knelt next to him and helped him remove his helmet. "What hurts?"
"My pride."
Marian chuckled. "No, Gwaine, where do you hurt?"
He tried to remove his armor but winced. "My arm."
Marian nodded. "Let me get this off of you, and I'll take a look."
She glanced back at the field and was relieved that Lancelot wasn't there. Instead, Arthur faced off with Leon. She could trust Leon.
Gwaine smirked at her as she unbuckled the plate armor. "Can't wait to get me undressed, can you?"
"Behave, or you'll do this on your own."
"Are you flirting with me?"
"When I flirt with you, Gwaine, you'll know."
Despite the pain, he smiled up at her, for once not saying a word.
After removing the plate armor and pulling the chainmail from his torso, Marian felt around his arm. She lifted his tunic over his head to give her a better view of the injured appendage. Gwaine sat there, enjoying her attention and grinning from ear to ear as she touched his bare skin.
"It's just a small strain," Marian said as she stood to retrieve a bandage. "Take it easy today, and you should feel better by the morning."
He gently pulled the tunic back over his head. "I'm out of the tourney, anyway. Could be worse."
Marian knelt and grabbed his face in her hands, making him look at her. "It could have been a lot worse, you big dumb idiot! Why do you do this? You could have broken your neck, and then where would I be?" Her eyes widened and she quickly corrected herself. "You. Where would you be?"
He grinned and held her hands. "It's all part of the job, sweetheart."
She stood and rolled her eyes. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say this whole thing was made up just to impress the ladies fair or whatever you want to call them."
"Who said it wasn't?" he asked, winking at her.
She smiled and was about to respond when she noticed the field. "Goddammit!"
Gwaine craned his neck to see what caught her attention. "What's happened?"
"Arthur is going against Lancelot, but he's been hurt!"
Arthur leaned forward on his horse and took a fresh lance while holding his other arm close to his chest.
"Is he yielding?"
"No, of course not. You know Arthur. The most stubborn out of all of you."
"I'm sure Lancelot won't harm him, Marian. It's a friendly tourney." He sighed and stood when Marian frowned at him. "You don't trust him, do you?"
"He came back from the dead. That's not anything that can happen naturally," she said as Arthur and Lancelot went to the ends of the track, prepared to face off again.
"You think he's using magic?"
"Someone is."
Gwaine still couldn't see why she was so upset about Lancelot returning. As far as he could tell, Lancelot was his old self. Maybe a little more stiff than he used to be, but the man had been dead. That's bound to change a person a little. "I really hope that if I die and come back, you'll give me the benefit of the doubt, love."
They watched as the horses on the field took off. "Gwaine, if you died, I would be dead as well, so we don't have to worry about that."
Gwaine gave her a sharp look. "What do you mean by that?"
What she meant, of course, was that she would die of a broken heart. But she couldn't say that. Instead, she sputtered. "I… You… all I mean is that I would be dead from trying to save your sorry ass. That's all."
It was obvious that she meant what she said the first time, but he wasn't sure how he should take it. Even her face betrayed her when she realized what she said. Gwaine's brow knitted as he looked back at the field.
As Arthur and Lancelot rode toward each other, lances in place, Marian grabbed Gwaine's hand. The riders met in the middle, but Lancelot didn't engage. Instead, he lifted his lance high and yielded the tourney to the injured king.
"See, beautiful? Lancelot has yielded. The perfect gentleman."
"Uh-huh," she said, distracted. "Perfect gentleman…"
Lancelot knelt before the king, and they parted ways on friendly terms. Marian still felt uneasy. Something terrible was going to happen, she just didn't know what.
In the dead of night, a faint knock sounded at Marian's door. She opened her eyes and groaned. It took her several hours to finally fall asleep, so she was reluctant to get up. Climbing out of bed, she pulled a shawl over her bare shoulders and opened the door. Her eyes squinted in the light of the torches, and though she could make out that it was Gwaine at her door, she couldn't see his face.
"Gwaine? What's the matter?"
His voice was tense when he spoke. "Get dressed, Marian. You'll want to come to the council chamber."
"What? Why?"
Gwaine looked to his feet, dreading the hurt look on her face when she learned of Gwen's betrayal.
Marian took his hands, growing more worried when he didn't answer. "Gwaine?"
He sighed, and with his thumb caressing the top of her hand, he told her. "Gwen and Lancelot have been caught. There's to be in an inquiry."
When he looked back up at her, he wasn't prepared for her lack of protest. He had expected her to yell and scream and throw her fists in the air at the unfairness of it all.
Instead, she dropped his hands and went back into her room. "I see. I'll just be a minute."
If Gwaine didn't know any better, he'd have thought that she knew that this would happen. Well, she had pretty much guessed it. She told him she didn't trust Lancelot, and he didn't listen.
After she emerged from her chamber dressed, they walked down the corridor. Gwaine studied her closely to see if she would have any other reaction other than resignation. "Forgive me, Marian, but you don't seem surprised."
She swallowed hard, trying to keep back tears. "I'm not."
"You knew this would happen."
"I said I didn't trust him. And now we know why."
"And Gwen?"
"I don't know, Gwaine. This isn't the Gwen I know."
He walked closer to her and took her hand. They stopped before they reached the council chamber doors, and when he looked down at her, he saw the fear and anguish that was absent from her voice on her face. Gwaine sighed and pulled her to his chest, wrapping his arms around her in comfort, and kissed the top of her head.
"Thank you," she said, her voice small and vulnerable.
They parted as more council members arrived, and the guards opened the doors to the chamber. They took their places on opposite sides of the room, Gwaine with the other knights and Marian with Gaius and Merlin.
Merlin touched her arm to get her attention. "Is this it? Is this what you were talking about?"
She nodded. "It seems so."
Agravaine stood beside the throne, looking incredibly proud of himself. Marian narrowed her eyes at him. He must have had something to do with this, though she couldn't think of how this would benefit him. Unless he was afraid having a queen—especially one like Gwen, who wasn't shy about speaking her mind—would minimize his influence over the king. Of course, he may just be a snob.
Marian gasped when Gwen was brought into the middle of the room, her face wet with fresh tears, and flanked by Camelot's guards. Agravaine nodded to the guards, and they shoved Gwen to the cold, stone floor just as the chamber doors opened, and the king entered.
Arthur went to stand behind the throne, never turning to face the council. When he finally spoke, it was with a soft but dangerous voice. "You will leave, please."
The guards flanking Gwen turned and left.
"All of you," Arthur's voice echoed in the room. When no one moved, he spoke louder. "Now."
Marian looked from Merlin to Gwaine, hesitant to leave. Gwaine walked up to her, placing his hand on her back and nudging her toward the door.
"We must leave, Marian," he said softly.
She looked back at Gwen, still kneeling on the floor. "But Gwen—"
"Come on, love. No one needs to see this."
Agravaine was still standing beside the throne. As she was pushed from the room, Marian shot the king's uncle a look that could kill a man in an instant. It was too bad she didn't actually have that power.
A moment later, they were startled as Agravaine stormed past them, evidently told to leave as well.
Marian gave him the most hateful look she could. "Asshole."
"Stay here," Gwaine said as they entered the physician's chambers.
"But—"
"Marian, please. Stay with Gaius and Merlin. I don't want you to do anything rash."
She shook her head. "Gwen needs a friend, Gwaine."
He placed his hand on her shoulder. "I know, love. But it won't do any good for you to get yourself locked in the dungeons."
"I won't—"
His eyes were filled with sorrow and desperation, his voice barely audible. "Please."
"We will all stay here until you come back," Gaius said.
"Thank you." Gwaine rushed to meet the other knights.
Marian paced up and down the room, agitated and angry. "Why didn't I do something? I could've done something!"
"Marian, quit blaming yourself. This isn't your fault," Merlin said, trying to calm her down.
"I knew this would happen! I even said as much. Dammit!"
"And what do you think you could have done?"
"I could've—"
Gaius interrupted. "Marian, you can't let anyone know about the future. Even telling us is dangerous. It could change your future."
"Gaius is right. There was no way to warn anyone without putting yourself in danger. Even being a seer is dangerous and that's exactly what they'd suspect you are."
"But I could've locked her in her home. In my room maybe? Something!"
"We don't even know why Gwen did what she did, though."
Marian stopped pacing just as the door to the chamber opened and Gwaine walked in. He looked tired and afraid. There was no telling what she would do when he told her Gwen's future.
He took a deep breath before speaking. "Arthur's banished her from Camel—"
He didn't even get to finish before Marian bolted for the door.
"Marian, wait!" Gwaine reached out to grab her but missed. "Damn!"
She sprinted down the steps and through the corridor, fully aware that he was behind her.
"Marian, please!"
She didn't answer. She didn't turn around to look at him. Her only thought was to find Arthur and make him see sense.
"Marian!"
She turned a sharp corner and stepped behind a tapestry covering a dark alcove before Gwaine reached her. Holding her breath, she waited to see if he knew she was there.
"Marian?"
He spun to see if she had somehow gotten past him but she was nowhere to be seen. He continued down the corridor and in the opposite direction that she needed to go.
Marian snuck from behind the tapestry and headed to Arthur's chambers.
"Arthur!" Marian called out as he stormed down the corridor.
He stopped, lowering his head in irritation. "What is it, Marian?"
"You've banished her? Banished Gwen?"
"This isn't your concern," he said and turned back to continue to his chambers.
"But it is! She's my friend, Arthur!"
"Marian…" He stopped. He rubbed his temple as he turned to face her. His head ached almost as much as his heart and he didn't think he could argue anymore.
"You should sleep on it. Don't banish her. You've been through a lot today, Arthur. You can work things out once you've rested and you have a clear head."
"I've made my decision, and it's final."
"But Arthur, it's the wrong decision!"
He stood straight and rigid. His face reddened and his voice echoed through the corridor. "Who are you to tell me it's wrong? You aren't a king! You aren't a leader!"
"I may be an outsider, but I can still see when two people are desperately in love!"
"Can you? Can you really? The woman who secretly pines after the man she loves? The woman too afraid to follow her own heart? No, Marian, you have no place giving advice on love."
Marian was taken aback. When he looked at her, it was as if he was seeing her soul. "I don't—"
"When you decide to do something about Gwaine, then we can talk."
"Gwaine? What does he have to do with it?"
"Just leave me, Marian. I'm tired."
"For fuck's sake, Arthur! Listen to reason!"
"Where do your loyalties lie, Marian? With your king or your friend?"
"You're questioning my loyalty? I've always been loyal to you, Arthur! I've been prepared to give my life for you and for Camelot!"
"Guards!"
"You can arrest me but I won't keep quiet!"
The guards arrived more quickly than Marian expected, and she struggled in their grip as they took her by the arms.
"You know better than anyone how stubborn I am, Arthur. I won't let it go!"
"Take her to the dungeon."
She panicked and said what was probably the last thing she should've done. "What? You're sending me to the dungeon? I was wrong about you. You're just like Uther. Banish the love of your life and send your friend to the dungeon! When did you get so cruel?"
Arthur turned and walked away.
"Don't do this! Arthur!"
As Gwaine continued to search for Marian, he came across guards walking toward the dungeon with a woman between them. He felt his heart sink as he got closer and saw that it was her. When she passed him, she didn't even look at him. Her face, red with anger, was as emotionless as a statue.
Gwaine turned from the door and ran back up the stairs, taking three at a time. He needed to find the king.
"Sire?" he called out just as Arthur had reached his chamber door.
"Not you too! I don't need any more advice!"
"No," he said as he held his hands up in defense. "I saw the guards with Marian."
Arthur sighed and his shoulders slumped. "I'm sorry, Gwaine. I really am."
"What happened?"
Arthur didn't answer. Instead, he gave Gwaine a withering look and then entered his chambers, slamming the door behind him.
Marian was sitting in the cold, damp cell, her knees tucked under her chin, watching as feet went past the window. Sadly, there was no clear view of the sky, only the stones of the courtyard above. She'd never felt so alone.
The guilt of letting things play out the way they did ate at her. She didn't care what Gaius or Merlin said, she should have done something to stop it. Instead, the legends did what they did best—make it impossible to fix. Fuck the legends. Marian was going to find a way to make things right and bring Gwen back to Camelot.
Tears streamed down her face.
"Are you alright?"
Surprised, she looked up at Gwaine on the other side of the bars as he nodded for the guards to leave.
She wiped her face and eyes and sniffled. "I'll be fine." A bitter laugh escaped her. "What are you doing here? Won't you get in trouble for visiting me? Won't Arthur question your loyalty too?"
"Did he question yours?"
She couldn't find her voice, so she nodded.
He crouched and sighed. "I'm sorry, beautiful."
"For what? You didn't do anything wrong."
"I'm sorry that Gwen is gone. And that you're in here."
"Well, you did ask me not to do anything rash. So what do I do? Piss off the king and get myself locked up."
"Was it that bad?"
She nodded again. "I called him Uther."
He winced and sat next to the bars.
Marian crawled over to him and sat against the wall. "You know, something isn't right about the whole thing. That wasn't Gwen. She'd never…" she trailed off as her voice broke.
"Love makes people do strange things, Marian."
"It doesn't make people cruel, though. And Arthur was cruel to banish her from the kingdom with nowhere to go. No, Gwen loves Arthur more than anything and would never do this herself."
"What do you mean?"
"My guess is it was Morgana."
"How? Does she have the power over life and death as well as the heart?"
She shrugged. "Makes more sense than Gwen having an affair on the eve of her wedding, doesn't it?"
Gwaine leaned his head against the wall smiling when she reached through the bars and brought his arm through the gap. She leaned over to rest her head on his shoulder as she studied their entwined hands.
"I'm sorry, Gwaine."
"Whatever for?"
"For putting you in the middle. For making you feel like you have to choose between loyalty to your king or to your friend."
"There was never any choice, Marian. I serve the king, yes, but you are more dear to me than anything." He looked over to her and caught her eye. I love you. I would die for you. Gwaine cleared his throat. "Arthur will calm. I imagine that by morning he will have changed his mind and release you." He hoped with every fiber in his being that the king didn't banish Marian as well. I can't live without you. I love you.
Marian smiled up at him and sighed, squeezing his hand. "Oh, Gwaine. What would I do without you?"
I love you.
The morning sun shone through the tiny window of Marian's cell. Gwaine was slow to wake, and though he enjoyed the feeling of her head on his shoulder and her hand in his, he was sore from sleeping on the floor of the dungeon.
The creaking of the outer door startled him enough to awaken completely. "Marian," he said as he gently shook her.
"Hmm?"
"Wake up, love. It's the king." He helped her stand as best he could with a foot that was still asleep.
"Sire… I… uh…"
Arthur nodded to him, his mouth in a tight line. "Gwaine, could you give us a minute?"
Gwaine looked at Marian, then back to Arthur. His heart was pounding in his chest as the fear of her punishment loomed. "Of course."
Frightened, Marian stared back at him, hoping, praying that he wouldn't banish her like Gwen.
"Marian," he said as he nodded at her and then left.
Arthur motioned for the guard to unlock the door. Once it was open, he dismissed him and stepped into the cell. He observed her in silence as she fidgeted.
Finally, not able to bear it any longer, she spoke. "I'm sorry, Arthur. I'm sorry for what I said and for what happened. I know she broke your heart, but—"
He raised his hand to silence her. "Lancelot's dead." He watched for her reaction. He had expected her to fly off the handle again. Instead, she closed her eyes as her brow knitted.
"How?"
"By his own hand, it seems."
"I'm sorry, Arthur," she said, opening her eyes.
"It's alright, Marian. I'm… I'm sorry too. I should never have questioned your loyalty," he said as he crossed his arms over his chest and looked at the floor. "I understand how close you are to Gwen. You don't want to believe it, and quite frankly, neither do I. But we've both been hurt. Gwen's actions weren't just a betrayal to Camelot and to me but to her friends as well."
"But Arthur, if you'd just hear me out—"
"No, Marian. I will not listen to excuses. My heart has been broken, and I must recover. To do that, you must not mention this again. If you say one more word to me about Guinevere, I will banish you from the kingdom. I don't care who you're in love with or who it might hurt. Understand?"
"Gwaine and I aren't—"
"I don't care. Do you understand?"
Marian managed a small curtsey. "I do, sire. Thank you."
"Right, you may go back to your duties now," he said, and without waiting for a reply, he turned and left.
Gwaine entered the dungeon, fear written all over his face. "Well?"
"I can go back to work now, but I can't…" Marian's voice was cracking. "He will banish me if I mention Gwen again."
Gwaine nodded. "We'll get through this, sweetheart. Together."
She smiled softly at him. "Thank you."
He stuck his arm out to her. "Let's get some breakfast, eh?"
"Yes, please. I'm starving."
As she started toward the door, her shoe kicked something hard on the ground, scraping it against the stone beneath the hay. She picked up a silver bracelet. Not just any bracelet, though. It was the bracelet Lancelot had given Gwen.
She held it out to him. "It's Gwen's! Lancelot gave it to her a couple of days ago! Look!"
He took it and examined the writings engraved on the inside. "I don't recognize this. What is it?"
"I'm not sure, but I bet Gaius would know!"
Marian grabbed his hand and hurried out of the dungeon.
"Gaius! Look!" Marian ran into the physician's chambers with Gwaine in tow.
"Good morning to you too."
Gwaine handed the bracelet to Gaius. "We found it in the dungeon."
Gaius pulled out a large magnifying glass and examined the inside of the bracelet.
"Gwen was wearing it. She told me Lancelot got it from the Madhavi people for good fortune," Marian said.
The eyebrow that was nearly always arched on Gaius rose even higher. "These runes. They're from the Old Religion."
"What do they say?"
Gaius took a moment to read it. "To Awaken What is Deep Within. I'm not sure what that means, exactly."
Gwaine reached for the bracelet and turned it over and over in his hand, trying to work out how this would help Gwen.
"Arthur won't listen unless we have absolute proof that this was Morgana's doing."
Marian looked between them, refusing to lose hope. "Surely this is proof enough?"
"Marian, we aren't even sure what the runes mean or what the bracelet does. And I'm afraid there's no way to find out," Gaius said.
Marian raised her eyebrows and took the bracelet from Gwaine. "Of course there is!" she said as she quickly slipped her hand through the bracelet.
"Marian!"
"Don't!"
They shouted at her to stop but it was no use—she already had the bracelet around her wrist.
Gwaine swallowed hard, waiting.
"It's okay. I feel… fine," she said with a goofy smile on her face. She did feel fine. In fact, she felt better than fine. Marian was giddy.
Gwaine touched her shoulder. "Marian? Are you alright?"
A bubbly laugh escaped her. "Everything is a-okay!" But when she turned and looked into his eyes, something else awoke inside her. Something that she tried to push away. Something she could never express, much less feel. Marian wanted Gwaine. She wanted everything about him. She took two steps toward him. She placed her hands on his chest. The battle had already been lost. "Gwaine… I…"
Suddenly, she pulled his head down and kissed him. Hard. She hungrily sucked his bottom lip and moaned, her lips moving over his even though he didn't return her kiss.
Scared out of his mind for her, Gwaine struggled to get away. He finally pulled away from her and broke their kiss. Turning her around, he held her arms behind her back to keep her still as she writhed against him in agony.
"Gwaine, let go," she said calmly. When he didn't release her, she became more desperate. She tried to look at him, but he wouldn't let go. "I need you, Gwaine! Please!" When she couldn't turn around to see him, she became desperate. "Please! I want you! Take me to your bed! I feel like I'm going to die if you don't kiss me! Gwaine, I need you to—"
"Gaius?" With wide eyes, Gwaine looked to Gaius for help.
"—and take me to—"
Gaius pointed to her arm. "The bracelet!"
"—me senseless!"
Gwaine pulled the silver bracelet from Marian's arm and threw it to the floor. When she finally calmed, he dropped her arms.
Marian stood there, her chest heaving, afraid to look at either of them. She didn't know what had come over her, and it frightened her. Though scared of what she'd see, she turned to face Gwaine. With her eyes wide and tearful, she looked up.
He was furious. He narrowed his eyes at her, and his mouth formed a tight frown. Without a word, he spun around and stormed from the physician's chambers, slamming the door behind him.
Marian looked at Gaius in shock. "I…"
"Well, go after him, girl!" Gaius shooed her.
Marian bolted from the room and ran down the corridor. When she caught up with Gwaine, she grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks.
"I'm… sorry…" she apologized, out of breath.
He pulled his arm from her and started back down the corridor.
"Gwaine?" Her voice cracked. The thought of him being angry with her broke her heart. "I'm sorry I kissed you! And I'm sorry I said those things! It was the bracelet—"
"I'm not angry about the kiss, Marian. Or your more colorful advances," he interrupted as he turned around to face her.
"What, then? What could have made you so angry with me?"
Gwaine took a calming breath and took hold of her shoulders, pulling her a little bit closer. He stooped down to look into her eyes. "I'm angry because you risked yourself like that. You didn't know what enchantments were on that bracelet, love. For all you knew, it could have been some sort of killing curse. It was foolish and reckless."
Marian nodded, unable to hide the grin forming on her lips. A giggle bubbled up and escaped her.
"What could possibly be funny?"
"You," she said, grinning from ear to ear.
"Me?"
"Yes, you lecturing me about being reckless."
Gwaine couldn't help himself. He smiled back at her and laughed. "Yes, well," he said as he stood straight. All of a sudden, he was serious. "Promise me you won't do that again."
Marian bit her bottom lip to keep from laughing more. She made an X over her heart. "Cross my heart and hope to die."
Gwaine rolled his eyes and turned from her, ready to leave.
"No, Gwaine! Wait!" She grabbed his hand again and pulled him toward her. "It's just an expression!"
Gwaine grinned and shook his head. "Not a very good one," he said as he pulled her into his arms and held her close. I love you.
"No, I suppose it isn't." Marian relaxed in his arms. For one brief moment, she forgot about Arthur and Gwen and Lancelot and just everything else in the world.
Gwaine held her for a few more moments, remembering the words on the bracelet. To Awaken What is Deep Within. Did that mean what he hoped it meant? Deep down, did Marian Ragnell love him?
Time After Time written by Cyndi Lauper and Rob Hyman, as performed by Cyndi Lauper