7. Dead Man's Curve

(Bobby)

He paced, following the line of the railing of the firehouse's loft, unable to quiet the storm raging in his brain. As soon as Athena saw the blood she'd ushered him out of the apartment, speaking firmly to him in the hallway that she was taking charge of the scene. The scene. Just thinking the words sent a shiver down Bobby's spine. How exactly was it a scene? For all they knew Buck cut himself picking up a glass he broke and went to seek medical help. But he's not on blood thinners anymore. I'm grasping at straws. The urge to hit something sweeps through him, causing him to clench his fists, but there's nothing in the immediate vicinity to take out his frustration on.

I've screwed up. Royally.

"I saw him struggling and I did nothing," Bobby grumbles under his breath. He'd been so wrapped up in worrying about Athena, about how their cruise-gone-sideways had affected her he failed to be there for Buck. Was he losing his touch? Was he no longer the good captain, good leader he strived to be?

"Cap?"

Bobby whirled around, coming face to face with Eddie, who looked as troubled as he felt. Dropping the ball again. Way to go. When he returned, dropped off by Maddie who took a few consolatory moments with Chimney, he'd faced the rest of the crew, informing them of what they discovered at Buck's apartment. Then isolated himself, forgetting about Hen and Eddie, the last two people, aside from Maddie, to see Buck. To speak with and interact with him.

"Eddie, what can I do for you?" Bobby didn't even try to force a smile.

"Can we talk?"

"Sure. Of course. Lets go to my office."

Tucked away in a back corner was the small office he rarely ever used. Being available to his team, his family, meant he did a lot of paperwork sitting at the dining table. Flipping on the light, he waited until Eddie settled in one of the free chairs meant for visitors, then closed the door to give them privacy. He took the chair beside Eddie, not wanting the desk to be an obstacle putting yet more distance between them.

"What's on your mind?"

"Look, last night, about Buck's visit…"

Bobby contemplated jumping in, letting Eddie know Buck spilled the beans on his misstep, but he kept his mouth shutting, hoping Eddie found the courage to say what was on his mind. Instead, he was taken aback by what Eddie blurted next.

"It's my fault he's gone."

Bobby stammered.

Eddie leaned forward, knees on his legs, head in his hands. "I should have let him stay, let him sleep it off on my couch like I usually do. Then maybe he'd still be here instead of missing."

"Stop beating yourself up," Bobby said, wishing he could take his own advice.

"I wish it were that easy."

"So do I."

A beat passed. Eddie sat up, relaxing into the chair, his eyes shimmering with what Bobby guessed were unshed tears. "Why did I push him away?"

"What do you mean, when he kissed you?"

Something akin to fear flickered across Eddie's face. When he spoke his voice was low. "He told you?" He frowned. "Of course he did, he tells you everything."

"Does he? He never came to me about Tommy or his revelation."

Eddie's eyebrows shot up. "Really?"

"Maybe I've been distant lately. Regardless, what's done is done. Neither of us are to blame. Buck is… Buck." Bobby stood. "Look, why don't you get some shut eye with the others and we can talk in the morning?"

"How am I supposed to sleep knowing…"

"Athena's on the case. As soon as she finds anything she'll let us know."

As if on cue Bobby's phone rang. Tugging it free of his back pocket he discovered his wife name on the screen. His heart skipped a beat. Please let it be good news. Please.

XxXxXxXxX

He hated to do it, but Bobby quietly woke Hen, explaining that he was stepping out with Eddie and should the alarm sound she was still in charge. How quickly she went from groggy to fully awake, a hint of panic in her eyes. Bobby lied, told her things were fine, and he'd update her as soon as possible. Then he and Eddie stole away.

The sun was just beginning to turn the sky from black to navy blue. Bobby navigated the streets in search of the address Athena gave him, neither of them speaking well the radio played on low. At some point his anxiety would run its course and he'd crash, hopefully with the peace of knowing Buck was safely at home. Fat chance that's about to happen.

After 15 minutes Bobby felt the urge to flick on the sirens of his captain's truck, wanting nothing more than to speed his way to the scene. For some reason he held off.

"What do you think we'll find? Did she give you any idea?" Eddie asked, how voice low.

"No, simply rattled off an address and told me to get out there as soon as possible. As to what we'll find, tour guess is as good as mine."

"Why does that sound foreboding?"

"Because we're used to going on emergency calls, and because it's Buck."

The brief conversation died, swept away in silence and the darkness of their own thoughts. The fact Athena avoided calling them as if it were an emergency left Bobby thinking one of two possibilities. Either she had only found evidence of somewhere Buck had been or they had already found him and he was beyond any form of help.

Worryingly, Bobby felt the familiar itch creeping up from deep within, the beast he kept locked away in a hidden cage, the one always waiting for its moment to bust free. It thirsted for a burning liquid or at least one strong enough to knock him out for a good long while and take away the pain lurking just beyond his reach. He'd already lost so many, would Buck be the next one to make him break?

I pray not.

It took them 35 minutes to reach the address. Even as he turned the street Bobby knew they were in for bad news, any hope for reconciliation flying out the window. Police lights painted nearby buildings in a swirling wash of blue and red. Most of the street was blocked off. Thankfully, the majority of the police in the area knew him, through Athena mostly, and let him past the barricade. Bobby parked the truck.

He stopped Eddie, refusing to meet the other man's eyes, his focus on the scene out the windshield, as Athena came striding toward them. Her expression grim. "Whatever the news, it's an answer either way."

"Sure."

Bobby killed the engine. They climbed out, meeting Athena by the front bumper. Bathed in the headlights of a few cruisers Bobby saw Buck's Jeep. The doors were open.

"Is…is he…?" Bobby couldn't even form the words.

Athena took his hand, effortlessly redirecting his gaze with her gentle yet strong touch. "He's isn't here. It's just his Jeep. But there's blood in it, Bobby. A lot."