I don't own Criminal Minds or any of it's characters.
Emily pockets her phone and sighs; so much for having the night off, she thinks to herself as she places a pasta filled Corningware dish in the oven. She sets a timer, then quickly cleans the kitchen and finishes the last of the dishes. She dries her slightly pruned hands on the tea towel that was hanging over her left shoulder.
She makes her way to the back of the apartment where the bedrooms are, but she stops to take a deep breath before stepping into the open doorway.
A young girl, Emily's daughter Anna, is laying stomach down on the bed; her arms are bent and her head is resting in her palms. She is wearing a baggy black hoodie and comfortably fitting track shorts. Her wavy, shoulder-length, auburn hair is pulled up into a high ponytail and secured in place with a grey scrunchie. Some scraggly wisps of hair are framing her face. She has earbuds in her ears and is fixated on the laptop that is sitting in front of her face; she doesn't notice her mother at the door.
Emily knocks on the wood of the door frame and watches as Anna removes one of her earbuds.
She turns and gives her mother a freckle filled smile.
"Hey, love. What are you working on?" Emily asks as she tries her best to smile back. She takes a few steps into the room.
"Nothing, just watching Netflix," Anna informs her as she taps the spacebar to pause her show.
She pushes herself up so she is sitting on the edge of the bed. "When's dinner?" she asks promptly.
"I just put a casserole in the oven but…" Emily pauses, not wanting to say what they both know is coming. Emily feels pain in her chest as she watches the teen's smile fade.
Anna drops her shoulders and goes back to laying on her bed.
"You have to go to work," she finishes Emily's sentence, sounding annoyed and disappointed.
"I'm so sorry, I know we had plans to go to the movies tonight," Emily apologizes. This is becoming a habit for them to make plans and then have to cancel because work gets in the way.
"It's fine," she replies dryly before playing her episode.
"We can try to go next week," Emily bargains, although she knows not to make any promises.
Anna doesn't reply.
Emily takes a seat on the bed and runs a soothing hand across Anna's back.
"Hey, look at me for a second," Emily says as she tilts her daughter's head up and away from her screen. "I am so sorry that I keep doing this to you."
"Where are you headed this time?" she asks, not willing to acknowledge the apology.
"San Francisco," Emily replies.
Anna nods. The farther away her mother went usually meant the longer she would be gone.
"When do you leave?" she asks next, biting at her lip.
"Right now. I need to go brief the team, but Andrew is going to come have dinner with you and spend the night."
"Okay," she agrees in a sorrow-filled tone.
Emily leans over and brushes Anna's baby hair out of her face before planting a kiss on her forehead. "I promise I will make this up to you and I will call as soon as I can."
Anna shrugs, "Don't worry about it." She inserts her earbuds and turns back to her show.
"I love you," Emily says softly before getting up.
Emily curls her lips into a thin line and bows her head in despair as she leaves. She feels like the relationship she has fought so hard to build with Anna is starting to crumble and it is breaking her heart.
Emily is the first to arrive at the BAU so she can review the case files before briefing the team.
She is sitting at her desk in her dim office light, trying to go over the information that Garcia has left for her but she is distracted. Her eyes are fixed on a picture on the corner of her desk of Anna lounging in the grass under a tree. The picture is roughly a year old and was taken at a team brunch at Rossi's house the day her adoption was finalized.
Emily remembers that day fondly. A melancholic smile crosses her face but it quickly fades when she recalls the sadness in Anna's eyes when she left today. She begins to bite at her nails, a usual bad habit that pokes its nasty head out when she's stressed.
She doesn't see Tara standing in her doorway.
"Hey, I just wanted to drop these off before everyone gets here," Tara says with a smile as she hands Emily a folder and a fresh Starbucks coffee.
Emily reaches out to grab it before flashing a small smile. "You are a savior. Thank you."
Tara pauses before leaving; she can tell that something is wrong. "Emily, is everything alright?"
Emily sighs and shakes her head. "No matter how hard I try, I continue to let Anna down. She has been so upset lately, her behavior is all over the place and I think I'm to blame."
Tara takes a seat opposite Emily, letting her know that she has time to listen. The entire team has noticed her stress levels seem more elevated than usual. They are worried.
"I think you're being a bit hard on yourself. You took Anna in as a foster child about two years ago right?" Tara asks.
Emily nods and relaxes back into her chair. "Almost three. I adopted her in September so she's been legally mine for about a year now…"
Tara smiles and tucks her hair behind her right ear before taking Emily's photo of Anna off her desk. She admires the image thoughtfully.
"Time flies," Tara says thoughtfully. "Nonetheless, you've done a great job raising her. She's an amazing girl and well adjusted considering her trauma. You should be proud," she continues before putting the photo back in its place.
Tara was there when they first met Anna. She had helped council her in the hospital after she was rescued. She was untrusting, unstable and riddled with anxiety. At that time, Tara's assessment suggested that Anna needed significant psychological therapy and had a long road ahead of her. But, with Emily's unrelenting support and commitment to Anna's recovery, her pain was eased. It is rewarding to watch Anna grow up and move past her dreadful experience.
"Thank you, I appreciate that," Emily says graciously; she is flattered but she cannot overlook the toll her efforts have taken on her. "This past year has been very eye-opening for me. I never truly understood the sacrifices we make for this job until I had someone waiting for me at home," she confesses.
"I don't know how you do this. Both you and Hotch led this team while trying to be there for your kids," Tara remarks.
"He had a hell of a good support system and when he wasn't working; his only focus was Jack. Ultimately, he walked away because it was hard doing both and he knew he needed to put Jack's wellbeing first. I'm trying my best to do the same without sacrificing my career, although I'm starting to realize that it's not possible," Emily explains.
Sometimes Emily wishes she wasn't chief, she wishes she was someone's responsibility instead of being the one responsible for everything and everyone.
She reaches for her coffee and throws back a swig.
"It's all about balance, you'll figure out how to manage both. I'm sure that things will get better once work settles down," she offers her best advice and encouragement.
Emily sighs and runs her hand through her hair. "I really hope things start to turn around. Speaking of work, it's time to go over the case."
"'I'll see you in there" Tara nods and stands up. "and Emily?"
"Yes?" Emily replies. She looks up, eye's meetings.
"If you need anything, even if it's just finishing up some paperwork for you so you can get home early, let me know. I don't mind." Tara says with a warm smile.
"Thank you Tara" Emily replies sincerely.
The team has been in San Francisco for 15 hours. Emily is standing at a crime scene, discussing theories when her phone rings. She excuses herself from the group for privacy and puts the phone up to her ear when she is no longer within earshot.
"Hey babe," she hears, and a slight grin tickles her cheek.
"Hey, how are things on the home front? I presume you made it through dinner," she replies.
"If that's your way of asking how Anna is doing, she's good," he says as he chuckles softly at her formality. He finds her constant need to sound formal to be a humorous quality.
She can hear phones ringing and keyboard tapping in the background. He's at work, probably in the break room because his office is much quieter.
"There were no problems last night?" she asks, sounding surprised.
"She was a bit upset, but no. We went for ice cream and caught a late movie," he explains.
"Not too late I hope," Emily says snidely.
"We were home by 10, lights out at 10:30," he assures her.
"That sounds like a nice date," she says sounding disappointed.
"It was, I'm sorry you couldn't be there," Andrew says, expressing his regret.
"I am too…" She trails off and pauses for a second before continuing. "Can you do me a favor? I was going to text you about this but I might as well ask now."
"Of course, anything you need," he says.
"Can you pick Annie up from soccer tonight and drop her off at Georgetown Hospital? She's staying with my friend Sarah but Sarah is on evening shifts this week," Emily says.
"Em, you know I'd be happy to stay with her while you're away. I really enjoy spending time with her," he offers.
He had dated Emily for an entire year before she allowed him to get to know Anna. He understood why Emily didn't want to risk the relationship falling apart and having her daughter be heartbroken if she had gotten close to Andrew. She needed to protect her daughter but after a while, she realized that he was not leaving anytime soon and slowly introduced them. Andrew had learned to love Anna as much as he loves Emily.
Emily bites at her bottom lip, unsure of how to answer without seeming rude. She appreciates his help but she doesn't want to rely on him too much.
"Oh Andrew, it's so nice of you to offer but she's not your responsibility," she finally says.
He sighs, not wanting to push but knowing she needs a nudge. "I know she's not but, I've thought about this a lot lately and I want to help more."
Andrew has been trying to convince Emily that they should move in together but every time he proposes the idea, Emily uses Anna as an excuse. He wants to show her that he is committed to both of them.
"I could make sure her routine stays more regular. I could stay at your place when you're gone, I can take her to school in the morning and pick her up from her extracurricular. Anna might benefit from consistency," he continues.
"That's too much for me to ask of you," she protests in stubbornness.
"No, it's not. I don't understand why you won't let me do more." He's sounding frustrated.
Emily notices J.J. waving, trying to get her attention.
"Andrew, I need to go. Can we please talk about it when I get back?" she begs. She's not willing to start this fight again.
"Of course," he says sounding more annoyed than he means to. "I'll text Anna and let her know that I'm picking her up."
Emily nods to herself. "Thank you. We'll talk soon. Love you."
"I love you too, stay safe."
Anna is sitting on the wooden bleachers beside her high school's soccer pitch, chatting with her friends while they remove their cleats and shin guards.
Andrew walks over to her, only approaching after the other kids have said their goodbyes.
"Hey, Kiddo," he yells, getting her attention. "How was practice? You looked a little sluggish out there."
Anna slips on her sandals, sits up, and throws her soccer bag over one shoulder and her school bag over the other. She looks encumbered so Andrew takes a bag from her.
"Maybe if you hadn't kept me out so late I wouldn't be tired," she jokes.
"If your mother asks, we were home by 10," he replies, sounding a bit nervous.
"Your secret's safe with me. I get it, it's hard being the fun one," she says.
He laughs and proceeds to ruffle her hair, making her giggle.
"How long have you been here?" she asks as she follows Andrew up the hill to his car.
"About 20 minutes," he replies.
"Creeper." Anna laughs.
"I like watching you play, is that a crime?" Andrew defends, dramatically throwing his hands up.
"I don't know, you tell me, SSA Mendoza," she jokes.
He takes her teasing with a grin. She has a sassy and sarcastic sense of humor, something she has picked up from Emily over the years.
They reach the car and Andrew throws Anna's school bag on the back seat. He then opens the driver's side door.
"Throw your bag in the trunk, I don't want your gear stinkin' up my car again," he says before bending down to pop the trunk.
He drives a bullet gray Jaguar XF. He loves his car because it gives him a taste of luxury; it was a Christmas present to himself this past year. Anna can recall him rolling up to their apartment in his new car to take them to Rossi's Christmas Eve party.
Anna rolls her eyes but complies. Then, she walks around the car and climbs into the passenger seat. They drive off.
"Do you have a lot of homework?" Andrew asks. He has a relaxed hand on the wheel but he is alert. He is a more cautious driver with Anna in the car.
"I have a chapter to read for English and a quiz in history tomorrow."
"That sounds like a lot," he remarks as he glances at Anna.
She shrugs. "I'll be fine."
It had taken Anna a long time to warm up to him but they have built a strong bond over the last year. She is very comfortable with Andrew now and considers him family because he is the closest thing she has ever had to a father. She values their relationship.
"What time does Sarah get off work?" he asks.
"8, I think," she replies. She dreads having to sit in the hospital alone but it's not the first time and she knows it won't be the last.
Her stomach growls loudly and she reaches into the back to grasp her bag. She opens the small front pocket and feels around with her hand.
"Fuck," she mutters as she pulls her hand back.
"Hey, you know how your mother feels about swearing," Andrew scolds her.
Anna huffs, "Emily swears all the time," she growls.
He furrows his brow, "That doesn't mean you can."
She crosses her arms and pushes herself into the seat. She's not usually this irritable. He had noticed her short temper last night but attributed it to Emily being gone.
Andrews notices her biting her lip. "What's wrong?"
"I forgot my wallet. I was supposed to buy myself dinner tonight," she explains.
Andrews takes a hard right onto a street that is unfamiliar to Anna. The hospital is in the other direction.
"Where are we going?" she asks.
"Text Sarah and let her know that I'll drop you off at the end of her shift," he tells her.
"That doesn't answer my question," Anna, says firmly.
"Have you ever been to Johnny's?" he asks with excitement.
"I don't think so."
"It's a 24-hour diner on the other side of the city but they have the best burgers and shakes around. It's the first restaurant I ever took your mom to... " he explains.
"Your first date was at a 24-hour diner?" She turns and makes a face.
Andrew laughs."It wasn't our first date. I was trying to be spontaneous and it was the only place that was open at 3 am. She had just come back from a rough case."
"Typical." Anna rolls her eyes.
3 years ago.
Emily trudges up the stairs to her apartment with her go-bag in tow. She can barely keep her heavy eyelids from falling shut and her stomach is filled with burning emptiness. She's focussed on getting a snack and getting to bed.
She reaches her floor and stops when she sees a figure sitting against her door. She rubs her tired eyes trying to make sure that she is actually seeing him. As she gets closer, she smiles at the familiar man.
"What are you doing here?" she asks as she looks down at him. She's surprised to see him at her door considering the late hour.
Andrew pulls himself off the floor, brushes the dirt off his pants and hands her a bouquet of colorful flowers.
"You said you were hungry so I'm taking you out," he replies.
"Andrew, you are too sweet but you don't need to do this. We can go out tomorrow night," she suggests.
"We can do that too but you're starving right now," he protests.
"I have food," she defends herself. She scoffs at his accusation.
"If you can honestly tell me that your fridge is not empty then I will leave you be."
As if on cue, her stomach growls loudly. They both laugh.
She throws her hands up in defeat. "Okay, you've got me. Where are we going."
—
They are in a retro-style diner, sitting across from each other in a booth by the window. It's quiet; they are the only customers.
"God this is good!" she exclaims before taking another large bite of her burger.
"You've got a little sauce on your chin," Andrew informs her sheepishly.
Emily's eyes widen with embarrassment. She puts her food down and pulls her hand up to cover the bottom half of her face while she reaches for a napkin. Andrew is faster, however, and he takes a napkin and reaches across to clean her chin.
She beings to blush.
"How was your case?" he asks, trying to start up the conversation. They're both unit chiefs and face similar struggles at work. They often discuss things they don't know how to talk to their teams about.
Tonight, however, Emily does not feel like it. "Let's not talk about work. We're on a date, ask me about something else," she says.
He nods, "What are you doing tomorrow?" he asks before biting a chunk out of a fry.
"Sleeping in and then I have to head to New York for a bit," she explains nonchalantly.
He laughs, "You say that like it's right around the corner."
"It's not like I'm heading to LA for the afternoon. New York is 4 hours away," she protests.
"So what? You get a few days off and you spend them in another state?" he asks curiously as he wipes his hands on a napkin.
"I'm meeting with a lawyer," she confesses before taking a sip of her milkshake.
"Ah that explains everything because there are no lawyers in DC," he replies sarcastically.
"Not in this situation. They're an old friend, they specialize in child advocacy and the case is in New York," she explains.
"Are you in the middle of a custody battle? Do you have a kid that you didn't tell me about?" he asks, half-joking. They are still in the honeymoon phase of this budding relationship. Everything is fresh and exciting but there is still a lot that they don't know about one another.
"No, nothing like that," Emily assures him as she shakes her head.
She finishes the last bite of her burger then pushes herself back in her seat. She's stuffed but happy.
"I'm trying to help a little girl move to a foster home in Washington. I need to check on her more often and I can't when I live so far away," she shares. She knows that this cannot stay a secret forever.
"How do you know her?" he prods.
"Honestly I don't know her very well but she was a victim in a case a few months ago. When it was over, I promised her that I would look out for her," she explains, sounding guilty. She feels like she has not done enough so far.
"What happened to the kid?" he asks.
Emily leans forward, resting her elbows on the table and sighs.
"Her name's Anna, she's 12. She was kidnapped by a man who was having a dissociative break. He held her for three days, he brutalized her and starved her. I was the one who carried her out of his apartment after she watched him commit suicide." Emily nods, trying to push her memories of that moment away.
Andrew reaches across the table and takes her hand in his.
"Where are her parents?" he asks.
"They're gone. Her mother was an addict and her father's unknown. The mom OD'ed the night they let Anna out of the hospital. She lost her childhood and her mother within a matter of days so I can't walk away from her," she says as she shakes her head.
He rubs soft circles with his thumb on the back of her hand.
"That's a hell of a trauma. How is she coping?"
"She's not doing great but it's understandable considering what she's been through. She is in a group home right now but she's not getting the resources or support that she needs. If she's in DC I can do more to help," Emily says with a soft smile.
"I'm happy she's got someone like you on her side," he says as he squeezes her hand.
"I haven't told my team about this. I haven't talked to anyone about it yet," she admits.
Andrew smiles softly, he likes that she feels comfortable to confide in him.
"I don't think they would have a problem with you helping a victim," he assures her. He knows how close the BAU is and he knows that they would support her decision.
"They might if I tell them that I'm trying to become a foster parent for her," she reveals anxiously. She bites at her lip nervously.
He nods. "That's a big responsibility."
She looks away, seeming embarrassed. "See, the way you're looking at me right now, that's why I can't tell them."
"They should know, that's a lot to take on by yourself." He worries about her trying to do too much, putting too much pressure on herself.
"I will tell them, once I know for sure. This is a long shot. There is a good chance that they won't give me a foster license." She pulls her hand away and pushes her hair behind her ears. She feels uneasy about how much she has shared but she's happy he knows.
"So for now, you're waiting," he says as he leans back and then takes a sip of his cola.
"I am waiting" she replies softly.
Present
"Since when have you gone back to calling your mom Emily again?" Andrew asks casually. He knows that she still struggles to open up.
Anna shrugs as she sinks further into her seat. "I don't know. She's not my real mom, it doesn't feel right anymore."
"That's okay, you're allowed to feel like that," Andrew assures her although it hurts him to hear this.
They stay silent for a while but Andrew knows that this is his chance to get Anna talking."Can I ask if that's why you went missing a few weeks ago?" He says suddenly.
Anna turns, eyes wide.
"I wasn't running away. I was at the library." She replies frantically.
"I never said you were but you were gone for a very long time," He tells her calmly. She tends to overreact when she feels pressure and he does not want to upset her.
"Look I had a paper to write. Did Emily ask you to interrogate me? I already spoke with that therapist." She snaps.
"No, she doesn't talk to me about your personal life but I can tell she's worried about you. You really scared her," he explains.
"Well then she worries too much because I was fine." she retorts angrily. She turns to look out the window and she watches the building go by with a scowl on her face.
Andrew signs knowing that the conversation is not going anywhere. "That's what mom's do. They worry." He finishes.
She responds with a low groan.
"When is your post-placement check-in?" Andrew asks.
"It was supposed to be 3 months ago. Emily needed them to reschedule a few times. I think she said they're coming back in a few weeks."
"She does everything she can to give you a better life. Try not to be so hard on her. She loves you," Andrew places a reassuring hand on Anna's leg, squeezing her knee slightly.
She flinches and pulls away.
Andrew mentally reprimands himself for his actions. He knows how sensitive she can still be to touch.
"Can we talk about something else," she whines.
Thank you for reading chapter 1. Please feel free to leave a review if you have anything you'd like to share with me any this story.