They came back together in the living room and sat on the couch.
Dog said, "Read mine first, Cat!"
Cat said, setting aside his story, "Sure thing, then you'll read mine."
Dog said, "Sounds like a plan!"
Deep within the darkest depths of Rancid Rabbit Labs, scientist Lola Caricola was laboring for hours over two half strands of DNA. One was round, and the other was long and thin. She was trying desperately to stabilize the little molecules. Behind her was a wall of cages full of cats and dogs. They were quiet as they were either asleep or had long since worn out their voices trying to plead for their freedom.
Suddenly, Lola felt like her hands were being guided as she wrapped up her work. She very carefully put the long, thin half next to the round half. The long, thin half quickly swam to the round half. Within moments, it began to build cells. Dr. Caricola then very carefully slurped up the collection of cells with a needle and then brought these cells that were quickly multiplying. She then injected the cells into a fuzzy and flabby ballon-like incubator.
Nine months later, Lola Caricola brought Rancid Rabbit himself down into her lab.
Lola Caricola explained as she approached the now very full fuzzy bladder incubator, "I believe I have created the perfect specimen! We'll soon see a projected 30 percent uptick in pet sales!"
Rancid Rabbit said, "Well, let's see it!"
Lola cut open the bladder, And an orange slime gushed out from the slit. Dr. Caricola then reached into the sticky bladder and pulled out the slimy head of probably the cutest little kitten to ever exist. Still, as she pulled it out, the other end of the kitten wasn't a little tail, the head of probably the cutest little puppy to exist. A little cord connects to them both.
Rancid Rabbit was horrified and shrieked about as loud and high as a man could, "FREAK!"
Lola was perturbed, but then she looked at the slimy little hybrid baby herself.
Lola screamed as she yanked them off the cord to throw them across the room, "ABOMINATION!"
The little hybrid thankfully landed softly on the pile of slime that accumulated. Lola was beside herself in horror as Rancid Collected himself.
Lola Carcola then muttered, "What monster have I created? Am I no different then Frankenstein?"
Ranid Rabbit hissed, "Project KitPup is a bust! I want that thing killed right away!"
Lola Carcola said with a salute, "Yes sir!"
The orange slime began moving, and it wrapped around the little Kitten Puppy hybrid. It was protecting them from Lola. It then slithered up and out of the dark basement to the nearby alley.
The orange slime formed itself into a bird-like shape as it continued to carry the hybrid. It soon meets with a fish-shaped green slime.
The Green slime scolded playfully, "Ortega, you can't keep them."
Ortega replied, "Oh please, Grenvengo, just let me raise one!"
Grenvengo shook like jelly as he sighed, "I'm sorry, dear, but their lives need to happen whether we want it to or not."
Ortega sighed, "You're right."
The orange slime very carefully set the little Kitten Puppy Hybrid in a cardboard box nearby. Grevengo then used a marker they just so happened to have to scribble, "Adopt me." on the side of the box. Then, the two slime beings left the hybrid in that alley.
The kitten half was the one who first opened its eyes. Naturally, the kitten started to meow pitifully. The puppy half heard the meows and turned towards the sound with a snarl. The kitten half was afraid at first but then very gently licked the dog's eyes so he could see, too. The puppy half whimpered apologetically, and the kitten half purred a reassurance. The two of them looked over the side of the box, watching the people go by. Pretty soon, they were spotted by a couple of passersby: a man and a woman.
"Aw," The man said, "A little puppy."
"Daw," The woman cooed, "A little kitty!"
The man scooped the dog half, and the woman grabbed the cat half. The two of them attempted to go their separate ways, but the Kitten Puppy was connected at the hip. Literally, their body stretched out a bit before they slowed down and realized what was happening. They screamed, letting the little hybrid go, and the two of them rubber-banded back into the box. Both the trim Hybrid's heads were deeply saddened, and now their tube body was sore.
More time passed, and the hybrid grew hungry. The kitten half and puppy half began scouting out the area. The kitten half spotted a bird behind the hybrid. The kitten attempted to pounce on it, but the dog half held onto the box, and it foiled the little hunter. The kitten fell flat on his face, and the bird flew away. The kitten hissed at the puppy half angrily. The puppy half whimpered fearfully, but what calmed the kitten half down was their shared rumbling belly.
The two of them had to learn how to coordinate their moments. If the car half wanted to move forward, the dog half had to walk backward. If the dog half wanted to run forward, the cat half had to run backward. (They never quite nailed that one.) They relied on only each other for at least a month. But they weren't alone with each other for long.
They were asleep in their box, using a little napkin as a blanket. Suddenly, they were lifted off the ground, and the cat half woke up quickly and saw a young adult holding the box. The cat half hissed defensively, especially when the wind blew off the napkin, revealing him and the dog half as conjoined twins.
The young adult looked down at the little kitten-puppy hybrid. A mix of amazement and surprise washed over their face.
They said, "Hello, little fellow; you can call me Winslow! I'm going to call you Beans, and your little brother, I'll call Bacon."
Winslow then brought the two of them to their home. Winslow took good care of the hybrid for a good six years. They were dressed up for every Halloween, given gifts on Christmas and Easter, and given a birthday party on every Fourth of April. Life was good.
One day, Winslow was coming home from their job at the Taco Shack. Suddenly, Winslow's walk home was interrupted by the sight of the museum's display. In the window to try to coax people to visit the museum was a large long rock on its side with the image of CatDog presenting ancient runes. Winslow went to the window out of interest.
Winslow read the little blurb on the plaque next to the rock, "Ancient people of Nearsburg created this piece in honor of their deity and protectors, Felinus and Caninus. The twins were killed in a battle against a dragon, sacrificing themselves for our ancestors. The stone prophesies that one day they will be reborn to help bring about a new era of peace across the world."
Winslow's jaw dropped, and they rushed home. They looked at his beloved pet, Beans, and Bacon. They had a striking resemblance to the carving Winslow saw at the museum. They gently picked up the CatDog for a cuddle.
Winslow then asked his hybrid, "Are you Felinus and Caninus?"
Both ends were confused by the question.
Winslow began thinking and then chuckled, "Of course not; you're still so little and cute!"
Bacon panted happily, and Beans purred contently.
Winslow gushed, "Daw, my little Beans and Bacon. Who's my good little Beans and Bacon? You are, You're my good little Beans and Bacon."
Suddenly, there was a loud banging on the front door.
Winslow came to the door to see a messy and old priest standing on their front porch. Lighting flashed, and instantly, the sunny day was ruined by a thunderstorm.
The old cat spoke, "I am Rudolf Grant. I have come to awaken Felinus and Caninus! Give the hybrid to me so that he may achieve his magical destiny!"
Winslow held his pet tightly and said, "I don't think so, Buster! If you want to take my lovely CatDog here, you'll have to pry him from my cold, dead hands."
Rudolf said, "Well if you insist."
He pulled out a revolver and pointed it at Winslow's head.
Winslow then said, "I meant I'm coming with you, you dolt."
Rudolf put the weapon away and said, "Oh, I see."
Rudolf led Winslow away from his house to a church. Inside was a small ceremony in honor of Felinus and Caninus. Winslow carefully placed CatGog on the altar in the center of the odd congregation. Beans puffed up his chest fur in pride; Bacon was practically bursting at the seams with excitement at all the new faces.
Rudolf shouted, "Let the ritual begin!"
A fire was lit up around CatDog, and the group started chanting loudly, "RESTORE OUR GUARDIANS! RESTORE OUR GUARDIANS! RESTORE OUR GUARDIANS!"
Winslow watched as the ceiling was torn open right above CatDog, in the same circle shape as the flames, no less. The hybrid floated upwards, its body limping into a "u" shape. Beans and Bacon then floated all the way up into the clouds. Then, they disappeared. The chanting stopped, and the crowd cheered.
Winslow asked Rudolf, "Where did they go?"
Rudolf said, "They have ascended into a higher plane of existence! Soon, the world will know peace!"
Winslow went home, their hearts heavy with sorrow. Not helped was the pictures they kept of their pet. Winslow went around putting away the pictures, just crying.
Meanwhile, Raincid Rabbit Labs were utterly flooded and destroyed by the fierce storm. Lola Caricola barely escaped with her life, saving as many cats and dogs in cages as she could carry. Rancid Rabbit himself wasn't so lucky.
Lola Caricola then set down the cages to release the animals in a furfur of guilt and madness. Feilnus and Caninus smiled down at the sight.
The End
Cat noted when he finished reading, "That was awful! You got our lives all wrong!"
Dog sighed, "Don't be so mean!"