Author's note: I spent some hours walking this week and for some reason this idea popped up in my head today. It's probably been done before, but eh, it was fun to write. Also yes, I invented a new name for a social media website for this oneshot. Why? Why not? *shrugs*

Anyways, this is something silly that my brain latched onto, so I hope it's not too bad!

Warnings: Dual pov, that being Naruto's and Sakura's; Alternate universe; modern setting; slash; time skips; humour; foul language; kind of NOT FOR SAKURA FANS

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Kishimoto owns it.

I hope you'll like it!

Phrasing

As kids it was relatively easy to stay in touch with each other. Bar the occasional event in which somebody moved away, if you wanted to see your friends outside of school, it was as easy as ringing their doorbell and getting invited inside – or even as obnoxious as throwing pebbles against the bedroom window in order to attract their attention. Sasuke might have a thing or two to say about the latter option, but he did always end up opening the door anyways, so any protest of his was moot.

When they reached the age when their parents deemed them old enough to have a phone, keeping into contact was even easier! Friends were literally just a text or a phone call away, which was just great! As they grew older, however, their lives naturally started to change: they became busier, especially after graduating secondary school and upon entering university or college, it became more difficult to stay in touch with everybody who didn't belong to the absolute inner circle that only best friends inhabited. Phone calls happened less often, on account of them taking too long when one had to study, and sometimes it took a couple of days before a text got answered.

It wasn't really a big deal, just part of life and growing up in general, but Naruto had always thrived upon being surrounded by other people and he loved staying in touch with his classmates as much as possible. It came as no surprise to anybody who knew him then that he latched on immediately to a new social media platform when it was introduced to the masses in his first year at university. SmileLog it was called; an absolutely non-sensical and albeit stupid name for what was essentially a site to stay in contact with other people online.

SmileLog allowed one to create their own profile, upload pictures, post comments, private message people in your friend's list, create short videos and more. New elements were uploaded on a monthly basis, partly inspired by the users' commentary; the addition of the 'Like' and 'Dislike' buttons still led to quite heated debates every time they were brought up. It was almost fascinating, what kind of avalanche of comments was created every time those buttons were mentioned.

Naruto took to using the website like a fish to water – which sometimes led to the occasional … misunderstanding.

One thing about SmileLog that Sakura loved using was the ability to post something similar to short updates, ranging from how somebody was feeling that day to a party invitation or even something as general as asking for help. It was an easy way to give a quick update in general without needing to select the right group chat on her phone or even message all her friends separately. She loved scrolling through the updates whenever she took a break from studying, switching between reading the short messages and watching silly cat videos. She always had to set an alarm when she took her breaks, simply because it was so easy to get lost in all the scrolling. If she wasn't careful she would spend more time reading posts online than her actual study books!

Naruto's name blinking at the top of her screen had her rolling her eyes and smothering a snort in her hand, not wanting to disturb anybody in the library. With the amount of crap Naruto posted, she didn't understand where he even found the time to study still. Ino had added him onto Sakura's friend list a few months ago. The only reason why she hadn't deleted him from that list was because he tended to regularly post about Sasuke, sometimes including the rare picture of the dark haired man. With them not even attending the same university, that idiot's posts were the only way she could actually get real updates of Sasuke, as Sasuke himself had yet to create a profile so far.

It bugged her that she had to rely on Naruto to remain in the known when it concerned Sasuke, but well, for love you had to make the occasional sacrifices she supposed. They might not be studying at the same university right now but eventually they would see each other again, she was sure! Summer break was coming up soon, after all, and judging from Naruto's post, Sasuke would spend that break at his brother's place back in their hometown.

She was intent on ignoring Naruto's post like she did with the majority he wrote, but the mention of that awful nickname he insisted on keeping for Sasuke sprang out to her and she clicked on the update to read it in full.

The bastard and I are no longer friends!

Dazed, she could only sit there slumped in the chair, rereading the message over and over again. How was that even possible?! How could they no longer be friends?! As much as it had irritated Sakura, Sasuke and Naruto had been best friends since they had been toddlers and their mums had befriended each other. At times they had acted like real cats and dogs – making Sakura wonder how on earth they had had ever become friends in the first place – but their friendship was tighter than any argument they ever had had. She had already resigned herself that Naruto would forever be a fixed presence in her life once she finally started dating Sasuke and now he suddenly announced he and Sasuke were no longer friends?!

What the hell had happened here?!

That was the exact same question she typed up in response, replying for the first time ever to one of Naruto's updates. When the page refreshed, she noticed she wasn't the only one confused.

DogsRule!: The hell do you mean with that? The fuck did Uchiha do that ended your friendship?

Sakura scowled down at her screen. Who was Kiba to just assume that the end of their friendship was Sasuke's fault? If anything, it was more likely that Naruto had said something stupid!

H. Neji: You need me to kick his arse?

She huffed silently, shaking her head. With how stuck-up Neji tended to act, one wouldn't guess he and Naruto had actually become friends some years ago. Especially when one took into account that their strange friendship had started because Naruto had beaten the shit out of Neji. Men, she would never understand them.

Flower Princess: Babe, I need more explanation than one fucking sentence. The hell happened?

Sakura agreed with Ino wholeheartedly. What exactly had happened? Just two days ago, Naruto had uploaded a picture of Sasuke in full study modus. Sakura had been quick to save that picture when she had come across it.

H. Hinata: I'm sorry, Naruto-kun. I'm here if you want to talk

Sakura would suspect Hinata was finally trying to win over Naruto by pretending to give him a caring shoulder, but honestly, knowing how shy she was, no doubt her offer was actually sincere.

Temari: Well, that's one way to announce it, I guess

Shikamaru: Naruto, more explanation

Gaara: You didn't think this one through, Naruto

While Sakura often felt herself unable to agree with Gaara, this time she was on his side. Who on earth would think it was a smart idea to end their friendship with someone as amazing and handsome as Sasuke? Naruto had had his stupid moments before, but truly, this was the pinnacle of stupidity!

Itachi: Bet otouto doesn't know about this :)

Sakura frowned, nibbling on her lower lips. Why would Sasuke not know about this? Or, she gasped in shock, had Naruto been so rude as to announce the end of their friendship before even telling Sasuke? That goddamn rude idiot! How dare he mistreat Sasuke that way when Sasuke had always been way too –

A new update from Naruto.

Naruto: Sasuke here: ignore the idiot. He doesn't know how to announce news apparently. We're still friends – it's just that we have also started dating officially yesterday. That's all. No need to blow up his damn phone over this

They had what?

Water God: Wait, Uchiha actually knows how to use social media? Whatever, hell yeah! Took you way too long!

TiredofIdiots: Suigetsu, shut the fuck up. Naruto-kun, Sasuke-kun: congratulations! I'm really happy for you two! :D

Red Hot-Blooded Habanero: Naru, sweetie, phrasing. Aside from that, I said it before and I'll say it again: you two make such a cute couple!

Jiraiya: Don't think Sasuke can escape the dinner we've planned – best friends or not

Tsunade: Yes, Jiraiya, because you're definitely the example to follow

More and more comments were added, lightning up Sakura's phone as each new addition flashed across her screen. All of them were congratulating both Sasuke and Naruto, gushing over how happy they were for the two of them or chiding Naruto for his less than ideal phrasing.

Sakura, meanwhile, could only sit in utter shock in the library when she realised she had lost out to the local class clown.

God fucking damn it!

After Sasuke had broken the news that he and Naruto had started dating each other, Sakura had thrown herself into her studies with a vigour that put even studious Hinata to shame. She barely looked at any updates Naruto posted anymore, too upset at having lost Sasuke to him out of all people. If it had been another girl, fine, she would have been able to handle it – eventually, maybe – but to a guy? To Naruto of all people? That was like a giant slap to the face! What did Naruto have that she didn't? It was unbelievable!

So she ignored his updates and definitely ignored the barf-worthy cutesy pictures he had taken to uploading of him and Sasuke together, acing her exams one year after the other. What she didn't see, couldn't irritate her either and frankly, just seeing Naruto's name pop up on her phone was enough to piss her off some days.

Ignoring him went pretty well – until two years later when Naruto posted an update that had her heart quickening in response and her mouth drying up.

Sasuke's no longer my boyfriend!

It was a simple update; the message not longer than five words in total, but those five words had Sakura's mouth dropping over before she jumped up in pure excitement and squealed, throwing her fist into the air.

"YES! FINALLY!" she shouted, uncaring of the harsh thump against the wall she got in return with her neighbour snapping at her to shut up.

She paid the girl no mind, instead feasting her eyes on the post that had popped up on her phone. She could barely believe her eyes, but no, it was really there, even after she had clicked on it. Naruto was no longer dating Sasuke. Sasuke was single again. She still had a chance with him, booyah! Who cared how it had happened? Naruto had probably pissed off Sasuke for the last time or Sasuke had finally realised that Naruto wasn't a good fit for him. Whatever the case was, the most important thing was that Sasuke was back on the market!

H. Neji: Is it Uchiha's fault? It's Uchiha's fault, isn't it? Told you.

Even Neji's less than friendly comment about Sasuke couldn't put a damper on Sakura's glee!

DogsRule!: Well, you managed to last two years with him. You're a trooper for that!

Flower Princess: Kiba, shut up. Naruto, sweetie, I'm sorry to hear that. I'm here if you need to get drunk and smash shit apart

TiredofIdiots: What the hell happened? Do I need to kick someone's butt?

Water God: Two years, eh? I have to give you credit for lasting so long

TiredofIdiots: Suigetsu, swear to god, I will fucking kick your arse if you don't shut up now

Water God: Kinky, I like it ;)

Red Hot-Blooded Habanero: Looks like a phone call is in order

Gaara: Ah, he did it again, didn't he?

He did it again? Sakura furrowed her eyebrows. What did Gaara know that the rest of them didn't? Had Naruto done something that had been the last straw? Well, that wouldn't surprise her, because really, that was just how Naruto had always been: pushing limits until those limits broke.

Naruto: Sasuke here: Naruto's updating privileges are hereby revoked until further notice. No, we didn't break up. This was the idiot's stupid way of announcing we're engaged. That's it, no need to start a goddamn brawl over this. Now stop blowing up his phone; we've got better things to do.

Water God: Oh, I bet you have better things to do, all right – or should I say, a better someone to do? :P

Flower Princess: Suigetsu, threading on thin ice. Naruto-kun, Sasuke-kun: OH MY GOD, CONGRATULATIONS! I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU TWO! YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE THE MOST AMAZING WEDDING, I'LL MAKE SURE OF IT!

DogsRule!: fdsjlfdkheiejjfklkfjlsjer?! You actually got engaged? Holy shit!

Itachi: I'm surprised Naruto-kun hasn't posted a picture of their rings yet. Very tasteful choice, otouto

Art is Explosive!: Oh man, no wonder Sasuke-kun looked so pissed! Naruto, you really have a way of wording things, that's for sure, un!

Sasori: Guess he learnt it from somebody, hm?

On and on it went; Sakura's screen practically exploding with the amount of messages that poured in from either people congratulating Sasuke and Naruto or replying to previous messages in the thread. None of those messages had any regard for the way Sakura was feeling right now and in a fit of rage, she threw her phone onto the carpet, grabbed one of her pillows and pressed her face into it to scream.

How was any of this goddamn fair!?

"You can't just revoke my updating privileges on my own goddamn account, bastard!" Naruto complained, grappling for his phone.

Sasuke, the absolute bastard that he was, simply shoved the phone into the drawer of his nightstand before twisting around and pushing Naruto flat on his back on the bed. He rolled on top of him, snatching his wrists and pressing them on either side of Naruto's head.

"I can when you're being an absolute idiot in announcing things," Sasuke told him bluntly, narrowing his eyes. "What the hell kind of update was that even, usuratonkachi?"

"What? There was nothing wrong with it!" Naruto pouted. "You're not my boyfriend anymore, you're my fiancé now!" He wiggled the fingers of his left hand, feeling the warm metal of the very pretty engagement ring Sasuke had given him half an hour ago brush against his middle finger.

"You forgot to add the fiancé part, you idiot!" Sasuke growled and okay, yeah, Naruto supposed he had a point there.

"Okay, so maybe I shouldn't have left it at that," he began sheepishly and ignoring Sasuke's dark mutter of "You fucking think?", he went on, "But how was I supposed to know so many people would immediately start reacting?"

Sasuke just gave him a blank stare before rolling his eyes. "I don't know why I even love you at times," he muttered, shaking his head.

"Hey!" Naruto said offended. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"That you can be a real idiot," Sasuke replied frankly and bent down to steal a kiss before Naruto could form a retort. "But you're my idiot."

That insult really shouldn't sound so sweet, but Sasuke's deep voice nevertheless managed to turn Naruto into a near puddle and he smiled dopily at Sasuke.

"Aw, I love you too!" he cooed; his coo trailing off into a moan when Sasuke captured his mouth again for a deeper kiss this time.

He really needed to get his phone back so he could amend his update – because all right, yeah, in hindsight that had been a rather dubious post he had written – but then Sasuke's hand slipped into his underwear as their hips started to rock together and fuck it, his phone and any future updates could wait.

He had an engagement to celebrate after all!

The End

AN2: Nothing complicated, but eh, thought it would be fun to write. Hope it wasn't too awful! Now I'm off to bed, because holy shit, I do not like the number on the clock right now.

Please leave your thoughts behind in a review; should you spot any mistakes, please point them out to me.

I hope to see you all back in my future stories! Please stay safe and take care of yourselves!

Cuddles

Melissa

P.S. For more information about my upcoming and posted stories, please visit my profile.