Chapter 21

Leo drove silently. Layla curled up in the passenger seat next to him, and the rest were piled in the back. He could hear Mikey's constant stream of comforting words while Donnie whispered quietly to Talia as he wiped bloodstains from her forehead. Leo couldn't think of anything to say, and he focused on getting her home as quickly and safely as possible. Waves of rage washed over him, even still, he reached out his hand to stroke her hair. He just loved her so damn much; how could this happen? How could I let this happen?

"Here," he said, helping her sit up in his bed. He handed her the bowl of soup that Splinter had made while they were gone before sitting next to her and grabbing his own. She just nodded. Every time she tried to speak to him, she started to cry, so Layla kept herself quiet. He turned something mindless on his laptop. He could sense that she wasn't ready to talk about it.

"Do you want anything else love?" Leo whispered, wrapping his arms gingerly around her, careful not to hurt her already aching body. A sniffle, followed by a nod.

"A shower," she croaked out.

Leo picked her up and carried her into the bathroom. "You don't have to carry me," she whispered."

"I know, but I want to. As long as you want me to."
"I do."

Setting her down on the bathroom counter, he turned on the water. "I forgot, um…"

"What?"

"Clothes."

"I'll get them. Just…check this to see if it's hot enough for you." He exited with a kiss to her forehead.

Layla sighed heavily. Sliding herself off the counter, she struggled to lift the shirt off her head. She finally willed herself to turn around and inspect the bruises in the mirror. She winced once she caught side of the large bruise extending over the right side of her ribcage. Leo had only been gone a minute, yet she was already desperate again for his company. She wanted to thank him a thousand times, jump into his arms and pepper him with kisses, but when she tried to say it, she could feel the tears burn hot behind her eyes. She loved him so much, why was she so silent?

Steam was building up on the mirror so Layla stepped underneath the water.

Not hot enough. She wanted it hot enough to burn away the marks left by that man. That man. She thought he was going to…he was about to…her thoughts drifted to the last thing he said to her.

"I'll be right back pet. I've waited so long for you, and I want to be nice and clean for our first of many times."

Layla shivered under the steaming water. But then Leo was there. He was there. He came for me…And the more she thought about it, the look on his face when he saw her, how fiercely he embraced her, how he killed for her – she broke down.

Leo found her sitting on the floor of shower sobbing. Shit.

Removing all his gear, he slipped in and sat behind her, pulling her tight to his plastron.

"Shhh love, it's alright. I've got you," he murmured over and over. He rubbed her shoulders, showering her head with soft pecks. How do I fix this? He sat there with her, rocking gently underneath the scorching water for several quiet moments.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," she finally choked out just before letting out a fresh batch of tears.

"There's nothing to apologize for. Just…just tell me. How do I make it better? I'll do anything. I just…I need to fix it sweetheart." He pleaded with her.

Layla gathered herself together and took a shaky inhale. "It hurts to lift my arm and I can't…it's hard to wash my hair with one hand. And the water is too hot for you I think."

"No, it's fine. Don't worry about that."

He glanced at the shelf holding all the various products they had left behind. "You'll have to tell me what to use." He steeled himself, clearly, she was trying to have a more normal moment. She would do that, he remembered, when feeling anxious, just to help herself move on from suffocating feelings. She pointed to a bottle of shampoo and guided him on what to do. Tenderly he ran lathered hands through her hair.

"Ok what's this stuff do then?" He inquired as he read the bottle. Conditioner?

"It makes my hair soft. The shampoo just cleans it. But you have to let it sit for a few minutes."

Rubbing it through the ends of her hair as instructed, before again being guided on exactly which product to use on her face and in which order. He turned her around to face him as he caressed her cheeks with whatever fancy face wash she liked to use.

"Is this why your showers always take so long?" He teased her, tone gentle. He was rewarded with a faint smile.

"You always did say my skin was soft. Well, this is why."

He then grabbed a washcloth and lathered it with a delicately scented body wash? Why not just call it soap?

Leo very gently scrubbed all the dirt and blood away, taking stock of every nick and bruise. He kissed her shoulder as he scrubbed her back. She let her head fall forward onto her knees, relaxing underneath his touch.

Leo lost himself in thought, rage building inside as he carefully inspected each injury. He failed to notice his hand shaking as he ran the cloth over her thighs until she pointed it out.

"Leo?" She said, taking his shaking hand in hers. He stayed silent for a while before answering.

"I'm sorry. I just…it's hard not to be so angry." He leaned over her to kiss her cheek. Can I kiss her? Is that too much? She leaned back against him, wiping away a tear as she nodded. After he was satisfied, he lifted her up to stand, letting them both rinse off the stress.

"You do take hot showers," he quipped, barely able to see the towel through the steam. He dried her off just as tenderly as he had washed her.

"Lotion next," she pointed and again she was surprised at how he was able to keep such a light touch over her skin with how large his hands were.

"Did the pain meds Donnie give you help?" He asked as he slid his giant t-shirt over her delicate frame, staring hard at the bruise over her ribs. Leo winced when she did as she stretched her right arm through the shirt. He crouched on the ground and guided each of her legs through her underwear, then a small pair of shorts.

"A little."

"Not enough?" His brow furrowed.

"Enough that it's not overwhelming," she whispered as she leaned against him, wrapping her arms around his head. Leo wrapped his arms around her waist, and they stayed like that for several more minutes until he felt a tear drop on his head.

"Thank you," she whispered as her lips met the top of his head. "A thousand times, love, thank you."

Kissing her stomach, he stood to envelop her. He then leaned back and cupped her cheeks into his hand, wiping tears away with his thumbs before kissing her forehead.

"It's ok," he crooned. "Let's go to bed."

"You're not hungry? You should eat," he chided her as she picked at her breakfast.

"I'm just feeling a little nauseous," she replied. In truth, Layla had woken up that day hardly able to breathe, crushed by anxiety. It had made her head spin and the urge to vomit was threatening to surface. He continued to gently probe into why she wasn't feeling well, but she couldn't pay attention to what he was saying. She was unable to process his words due to the overwhelming pounding in her head, and what sliver of focus she could muster was devoted solely to keeping her stomach contents where they belonged.

The nausea surfaced. She leapt from the bed as best she could, hand clasped over her mouth, before vomiting violently into the small trashcan in his room. She didn't hear him call out her name. She didn't know he was holding back her hair until the vomiting abated. Utterly exhausted and her ribs in pain from the violet upheaval, she slumped against the trashcan, unable to hold herself up.

Leonardo didn't know what to. Panic coursed through his body at how weak she looked. He lifted her back into bed and dragged the trashcan over to her side. "Donnie will have something for this," he said assuredly.

Layla just nodded. He's going to think this is ridiculous, it's just anxiety. I shouldn't even be anxious. I'm here safe with him. I shouldn't be anxious…

Leo raced back into the room with an armful of potential cures. Layla took a brief survey of the pile before selecting a ginger chew to suck on.

"That's all you want?"

"For now. This will help with the nausea enough that I can hopefully take something stronger and keep it down."

"You have a headache?" He tilted his head, noticing how she was trying to rub a sore spot on her neck.

"Mmhmm," she frowned.

"Let me get it. Lay on your side and I'll get the knots out." And so, he went to work, rolling his fingers over the small but stubborn knots that littered her neck and shoulders. He knew this happened when she was anxious, the stress causing her a very real, very physical reaction in the form of tension headaches and painful knots.

She drifted off to sleep again, and Leo stayed watchful over her until she woke up again, rifled through the stack of meds, and requested some crackers to go along with whatever cocktail of drugs she picked out.

Layla was sound asleep next to him, but Leo was itching to release some pent-up aggression.

She's fine, she's asleep, she's safe. He chanted this to himself over and over to motivate himself to leave her side. I'll be quick, only a few minutes. Meditating only got him so far, but he needed to punch something. Anything.

Splinter inspected the grueling beating the punching bag had been taking recently. He glanced into the dojo only to find his eldest son continuing to lay into the bag despite the blood running down his hands. Despite the tears running down his face.

"Leonardo?"

No response.

"Leonardo!"

He slumped to the ground.

Splinter placed a hand on his shoulder, and at once his son broke down into quiet sobs.

"She will be alright."

"Will she? Will she really?"

"Yes." Splinter knelt to wrap his arms around Leo like he did when they were children.

"My son, come with me." He ushered Leo to his room and closed the door.

"Tell me," Splinter coaxed. Leo stood and paced his father's floor.

"I don't get it! Why? Why her? And again? She's already been through enough! She didn't deserve this. And why the hell was she left alone? Where was the Ancient One? He left them there all alone!" He raged on while Splinter patiently listened. His son's voice was harsh and hoarse. Finally Leo stopped to face him. "Why couldn't I have prevented this? She could have…she could…what if she didn't make…" He collapsed once more on the ground, and once more Splinter's arms were around him. "I love her so much, father. I feel so guilty. I couldn't protect her, and she got really hurt. I wasn't there…I promised…I promised her…" Leo mumbled out an incoherent string of words, venting his guilt, his frustration, his wrath.

Splinter had heard nearly this same breakdown before, over 30 years prior, when his beloved Master lost the love of his life. Splinter wasn't able to cry then, but he did now.

"Leonardo, listen to me. You saved her. She is here because of you. It is alright to be angry, but you must also realize that this was out of your control, and yet, you still managed to get to her."

Leo nodded, pulling himself together, embarrassed at his complete breakdown in front of his father.

"I am confident she will be alright. She is strong. You have each other, and you love each other, and you will help each other through this."

"I killed him." Leo met his father's gaze as he spat out the words.

Splinter was taken aback by how much rage radiated off his son, the hatred in his eyes. Disturbed by the complete absence of remorse.

"I made him suffer."

"And even though it won't make things completely right, I'm glad I did it."

Splinter remained thoughtful for a few minutes. "Yoshi wanted that for Tang Shen. I don't pretend to understand the feelings that go along with that type of relationship, but I understand what I would do for my family if they were in that situation. You did what you needed to do in killing him. The suffering -"

Leo cut his father off. "I know. I'm not proud that I lost that much control. Layla…doesn't know. I don't want her to know. I won't let it happen again."

"You will feel better if you spar with your brothers. Otherwise, this punching bag isn't going to last too much longer."

"I hate to leave her alone for too long."

"Do what you must. But make sure you let the anger go. For you and for her." Splinter sighed and embraced Leonardo in a warm hug. "I love you both very much, and it pains me to see you all like this. I will be here for whatever either of you need."

"Thanks father."

"Leo?" Layla sat up, groggy and sore, having difficulty propping herself up. She squinted in the dark before her eyes settled on his figure. He was deep in meditation. Layla smiled softly. He's not going to leave my side much. Indeed, the last 48 hours he had refused to leave her side save for a moment. He hadn't stirred when she first called his name, and it was the first time he seemed more relaxed over these few days. He could use these moments. So, she watched him and mirrored his deep even breaths, finding her own moment of peace. The anxiety she previously felt had melted away under Leo's unfaltering care even when he was unsure of what to do.

She trudged out of bed and sat quietly next to him. Her movement roused Leo, and he smiled when he saw her make an effort to be near him.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better," she whispered as she kissed his arm before relaxing against him.

Instead of guiding her back into meditation, he pulled her into his arms, kissing her forehead affectionately.