Courier Six was- is a man of many talents. After many near-deaths encounters against the likes of the NCR, Legion, Ulysses, the Ghost People, the White-Legs, the Marked Men, Father Elijah, the Boomers, and the Lobotomites of Big MT, he could confidently claim that he was, in fact, the luckiest motherfucker alive.
But ruling New Vegas with his right-hand man and yes-man Yes Man was boring to say the least. Courier Six leaned back on his couch as he downed another bottle of Sunset Sarsaparilla; his slick unkempt brown hair was swept back as he watched the shenanigans going on down at both Freeside and the Strip.
Getting an alert on his Pimp-Boy 3 Billion, courtesy of the fine folks at Mick & Ralphs, he groaned as Yes Man's voice began playing through the surprisingly good speakers of his ancient wrist-mounted piece of technology.
"Hello, Courier! It looks like the Followers of the Apocalypse wants to talk to you! More specifically Julie Farkas down at the Old Mormon Fort! You can go meet them, or not! Your choice!" Yes Man said cheerfully, "Additionally, I have rewired my programming to make myself more assertive! So you don't need to worry about anyone betraying you through me from now on!"
"Thanks, Yes Man," Courier Six finished his bottle of Sunset Sarsaparilla and placed it on the side table next to his velvet coloured couch, he leaned back deeper into the cushions, "But err- maybe later?"
"If that's what you want to do!"
The Courier did feel kinda bad about using Yes Man as his personal answering machine but after doing errands for every faction imaginable in the Mojave, he didn't feel so bad anymore… nor did he care.
Guess in the end, he was nothing more than a courier, delivering different shit to different people. Whether it be physical or metaphorical.
Welp, he decided, jumping out of his couch, no sense in waxing philosophy to himself. That was Ulysses' job. Courier Six made his way towards the open elevator, ready to carry him down from the penthouse suite of the Lucky 38 to the Strip. On his way towards the elevator, the Courier stopped to evaluate his own appearance before he showed himself to the public of New Vegas.
His brown hair slicked back and covered in ash and dust. His scraggy chin and jaw, covered in razor scars and some stray facial hair. His forehead, characterized by the two faint circle-shaped scars just above his right eye, courtesy of Benny.
But none of that pales in comparison to what he was wearing, the Stealth Suit Mk. 2 with his Courier Duster over it, his eyes covered in his Lucky Shades and the top of his head sat his, or rather Boone's, 1st Recon Beret.
It was a mish-mash of different styles. A travesty of fashion that Yes Man even called him out for it.
'You look like one of those old spy movie villains!' he had said, the smug bastard.
He slapped himself in the head, no time to be distracted now, somebody wants something from him and he's going to be a good courier and get that something for that somebody… or something.
Right, Julie Farkas, that woman with the killer Mohawk down at the Old Mormon Fort, that Julie Farkas, the same Julie Farkas who was there when he recruited that Ghoul Cowboy woman for the Atomic Wrangler. Right. That Julie.
…
Who?
The Courier never had the greatest memory, probably because of the two bullets in his head but who really knows for sure? He only really remembers people who he finds funny, like Fantastic or that dickhead Ricky.
And Yes Man too, but he's never allowed to know of that fact.
After making his way through the Strip and out into Freeside, he vaporized a mugger with his AER14 Prototype before entering the fort.
"Hello, Courier, good to see you here at the fort," Julie said as she wiped some dust off of her white doctor's coat, "Let's get down to business, shall we?"
"Sure, what do you need?"
"You know of Big Mountain, right?"
"Yep, boy do I know something about it, alright."
"As you know, the Followers are stretched pretty thin right now in the Mojave as we don't quite have enough medical supplies to help everybody in need," she turned to look at the people sleeping in the tents within the fort, their clothes raggedy and their skin caked in dirt, "while it is good that you secured us the alcohol and Stimpaks that we need, it's still not enough."
"But since you know something about Big Mountain that means you must know about the rumoured advanced technology there, right?"
"Uh huh, where do you need me to go?"
"The Followers found something recently, it's called an Auto-Doc, and do you know about it?"
"Sure I do, it's this miracle machine that can fix people," he then remembered Christine, "…when it's working, I think, eheh."
"Great, we want you to get to Big Mountain and find one of these Auto-Docs, then bring it back to the Fort," Julie crossed her arms, turning away from the Courier to observe the Fort, "if you can, bring back some instructional manuals also, if these Auto-Docs are as advanced as they are, then we need to know how to maintain them as well."
"Of course, I'll head out now."
"Thanks Courier, and thanks for helping the Followers too."
"No problemo."
He waved goodbye to Julie as he stepped out of the Fort, taking out his Transportalponder, he made a mental note to actually remember who Julie was before pulling the trigger.
Soon enough, the Courier found himself back at Big MT inside of The Sink, his home away from home, so to speak.
"Well lookie here," Muggy, the mug-destroying Securitron said as he rolled up to the Courier, "finally returned to Big MT, huh? So… you got the mugs?"
"Nope."
"Fuck!"
The Courier watched as Muggy furiously rolled away, back to his little corner in The Sink with shards of broken mugs laying everywhere on the floor. He laughed a bit before turning to The Sink's Auto-Doc.
"I shoulda guessed that you came back, heh," the Auto-Doc said in its unique accent, one that was undeniably pre-war, "seeing how Muggy hopped out of his little corner to approach you shoulda been clues enough. So, how can I help you?"
"Do you know of any other Auto-Docs in Big MT?"
"Can't say I have… the ones I do know were either destroyed or taken apart by the Lobotomites… hmm…" the Auto-Doc hummed in contemplation, "You should ask the Think Tank about this, last I checked I was the only operational Auto-Doc in this place."
"Thanks, will do."
"Great, see you soon."
The Courier waved goodbye to the Auto-Doc and walked out of The Sink, before he walked up the stairs towards the Think Tank, he popped some Mentats into his mouth and chugged down some bottles of whiskey for good luck.
He's better at sweet talking people when he's both high and drunk anyways.
The Courier then stepped up the stairs dramatically, coughing into his fist as he made his grand entrance, he spread his arms out wide and proclaimed loudly, "Attention Think Tank FOOLS! For it is I! The Great Doctor Mobius back from the Forbidden Dome!"
"MOBIUS! BACK AT THE THINK TANK AGAIN I SEE. WHAT? DID YOUR NEW PENIS-COVERED VESSEL NOT SATISFY YOUR INSANITY?!"
"Silence! I will not hear such things from the likes of you!" The Courier turned to Klein dramatically and intimidatingly, causing him to shrink back as his monitors retracted, "I am merely here to acquire something! Something that you Think FOOLS might know about!"
"WELL? WHAT DO YOU NEED SO MUCH THAT YOU HAVE TO COME BACK AND- AND- TERRORIZE ME FOR IT?" Dr. Klein's monitors shook as he fumed.
"Simple! I only need an Auto-Doc!" the Courier raised his hand dramatically, "and the instructional manual on how to operate one!"
"WHAT? AN AUTO-DOC? DON'T YOU ALREADY HAVE ONE?"
"I need another one!"
"WELL- I- I DON'T KNOW! GO ASK DR. O! HE WOULD KNOW… NOT!" Dr. Klein turned one of his eye monitors towards Dr. 0, "I MIGHT BE A GENIUS AND KNOW EVERYTHING, BUT I ALSO KNOW THAT I KNOW NOTHING AT THE SAME TIME, MAKING ME DOUBLE THE GENIUS! JUST- GO ASK SOMEONE ELSE!"
"Very well! You have escaped my wrath this time!"
"TCH! NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN MOBIUS!"
The Courier then sauntered over to Dr. 0 who whispered to him, "Do you really have to do that every time you come here?"
"Yes. If I don't then Klein might do something crazy."
"True, true," Dr. 0 turned his monitors around to face the Courier, "so you want to find an Auto-Doc, huh? Why is that? Don't you already have one? Like Klein said?"
"Well, I need another one."
"Why?"
"Stop asking questions."
"Alright, alright, sheesh," Dr. 0 shuddered a bit, "even if you found it, how will you bring it back to the Mojave? The Transportalponder can't bring objects that large with you."
"I-" the Courier stopped, realizing this too late, "shit, you're right."
"Uh…" he hesitated, "is there like… a modular Auto-Doc that can be quickly assembled? Maybe?"
"A modular Auto-Doc? What are you, nuts?"
"Well, are you going to help me or not, Zero?"
"I don't know anything about medicine! Take it up to Dala, she might know something! Or Eight!"
"Gee thanks a lot Zero."
The Courier turned away from Dr. 0, who turned back to sulk at his station, he then approached Dr. Borous, "Do you know of anywhere I can find another Auto-Doc? Preferably one that's modular and can be easily taken apart and put back together?"
"A MODULAR Auto-Doc you say? Hmm, how INTERESTING and INNOVATIVE. I might take that idea for MYSELF. But NO, I have not HEARD nor SEEN anything regarding a MODULAR Auto-Doc."
The Courier sighed, "okay, maybe not the modular Auto-Doc, do you of anywhere with a normal Auto-Doc?"
"NO, go ask Dr. DALA about such INQUIRIES. She's better at this MEDICINE stuff than I."
The Courier sighed, despite being a group of scientists, the Think Tank were very incompetent. He then moved towards Dala, who was doing some experiments in her room with the teddy bear that the Courier gave her previously when he first visited Big Mountain.
"Welcome back my bear of teddyness, have you come for another, ah, 'breathing session' with yours truly?"
"No Dala, maybe later, I'm looking for an Auto-Doc."
"An Auto-Doc? Hmm…" Dr. Dala turned her monitors towards the dissected teddy bear, "don't you already have one, dear?"
"Yes but I need another one."
"Hmm… you'll have to consult Dr. Eight for such matters," she turned her monitors back at the Courier, "I'm not great at medicine, even though I do like to observe the Lobotomites do their Lobotomites things."
The Courier sighed, talking to the Think Tank's really taking a toll on him, he popped another box of Mentats and washed it down with another bottle of Whiskey as he approached Dr. 8.
"=)$%('"-/+}^({= #%&" Dr. 8 warbled as the Courier approaches him, a packet of Mentats laid open beneath his thrusters.
"Hello Eight, do you know where I can find another Auto-Doc?"
" #{…..}[[/#$*& {"'-/=+^#]}(…..* ))[[[]}]/-+!" his monitors shuddered a bit.
"Well, if you want it creamier you can just add some diluted Wonderglue to the sponges, just make sure the Cram can is deep enough and then you can just go to town on the thing," the Courier scratched the back of his head, "we're getting off-track though, do you know where I can find another Auto-Doc? I really need it."
" *$%&-/[… #..*]}}!" Dr. 8's monitors waved up and down, like he's nodding.
"It's under the school?"
"[* ...]]}/# !"
"Nice, oh but I need to bring it back to the Mojave…" the Courier sighed, taking a sip from his trusty Vault 13 canteen, "hey, Eight, do you know of any large-scale teleporters in Big Mountain?"
" [{.…?/+ ^&*]}?"
"I was hoping that you wouldn't say that…"
"KLEIN! I have need of you!" the Courier put on his best Mobius voice as he approached Dr. Klein.
"You are to make me… a TELEPORTER!"
"WHAT, HOW PRESPOSTEROUS! DON'T YOU ALREADY HAVE THE TRANSPORTALPONDER?"
"Yes, but riddle me this, KLEIN, can the TRANSPORTALPONDER teleport BIGGER things back to the Mojave other than my new chiselled and toned vessel?"
"HMM… I SUPPOSE YOU'RE RIGHT, WELL, THERE IS A TELEPORTER BACK AT YOUR FORBIDDEN DOME BUT IT SEEMS LIKE YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN!" Dr. Klein laughed uproariously, "IT SEEMS LIKE EVEN THE MIGHTY MOBIUS CAN FORGET THE SIMPLEST OF THINGS!"
"SILENCE! Else I'll put my penis-shaped appendages all over your tank!"
"EUGH! NO! GET AWAY!"
"Dr. Mobius, I have need of your teleporter, if you have one that is," the Courier arrived at the Forbidden Dome, after accepting a Mentat from Dr. Mobius, he asked, "Dr. Klein said that you have a teleporter?"
"Hmm? Oh yes, right, I do have a teleporter! My memory's not jogging so well! Must be the Mentat."
"Yeah, maybe you should layoff the Mentats in the future."
"You think so? But they're just so… smarty… mmm…"
"Mobius!"
"Wha- huh? Oh, right, yes, the teleporter!" Dr. Mobius flew over to a conspicuous shape hidden underneath a layer of dark tarp, "It's just under this tarp! I unfortunately do not have the appendages to lift the fabric so it's been just laying here collecting dust."
"Great, is it big enough to teleport an Auto-Doc? Hypothetically."
"Well, yes, I suppose it can-"
"Great! Because I have been dragging this fucking thing across Big Mountain for the last two hours!" the Courier walked back to the entrance of the Forbidden Dome and dragged the Auto-Doc towards Dr. Mobius and the teleporter, the metal scraping as it gets dragged across the abrasive floor, "This better fucking work…"
Yanking the tarp off of the teleporter, the Courier was met with a wide platform; the platform was hooked up to a set of computers with some of them being RobCo, which was great news.
The Courier dragged the Auto-Doc onto the platform and plugged the computers into a power source, "I have my Roboscorpions running on the wheels twenty-four-seven! There's no way any blackouts will happen here!" said Dr. Mobius as he floated towards the computers.
"Hold on…" the Courier said as he guessed the password to one of the RobCo computers, "There we go! Now all we need to do is insert the coordinates for New Vegas and we're good to fucking go!"
The Courier then turned to Dr. Mobius, "I'll stand on the platform with the Auto-Doc, all I need you to do is press the shiny red button when I say so, okay?"
"Understood! Er- before you go, would you care for a Mentat?"
The Courier looked at Dr. Mobius as he handed him a packet of Mentats, "Sure, why not," he said as he gulped down another packet of Mentats, "Man, that's good; I can see why you like them."
"Indeed, they are very smarty."
The Courier positioned himself at the centre of the platform, standing next to the Auto-Doc; he looked at Mobius and gave him a thumbs up, signalling for Mobius to press the red shiny button.
"Alright! Teleporting in three… two… on-"
A flash of bright light washed over the Forbidden Dome as the ground shook a bit from the violent teleportation, Dr. Mobius was pushed back a bit from the shockwave but as soon as he regained his senses, the Auto-Doc was still there but the Courier was gone!
"Well shit."
Meanwhile, on another planet completely, the Courier was dropped unceremoniously on his back, knocking the air completely out of his lungs as he stared up at the dark sky.
"D'oh fuck, argh…" he groaned as he rolled over, the Stealth Suit administering a dose of Med-X directly into his body as he felt the pain numb, "thanks Stealth Suit, you're my favourite companion."
"Thanks Courier! You're my best friend forever too!"
"Yeah, yeah," the Courier pushed himself to his feet, his Pimp-Boy 3 Billion shining in the moonlight as the gold-plated and diamond-encrusted Pip-Boy beeped and whirred as he turned to the map.
"No data… where the fuck am I?"
The Courier turned his head towards the sky, his eyes widened as he sees the shattered moon.
Through all of his wacky adventures, even killing some aliens for their blasters, the Courier was never more baffled than he was now "Fuck."
He's going to need some more Mentats after this.
And that's the first chapter, not very great right?
It's very similar to all the other Fallout/RWBY fanfics out there because I'm not original enough to come up with another premise.
I promise thee, the viewer, that my version is worth reading.
I like all the other characterizations of Courier Six but I have yet to see the chem fiend insane crackhead Courier Six be properly represented.
Because in-game, our favourite Courier takes a lot of drugs, Implant GRX and Turbo being very fun ones to use.