Ringo: What the heck is 'old iron'?

Britt: Just a special nickname for a certain engine.

…

Wellsworth was the best place for having to wait for a train, as it didn't have the smell of shame like Tidmouth did. Whoever had come up with the idea of sentient trains should have thought this through.

Anyway, one day, James had to wait at the station until Edward and his train came in. This made James cross and crosser at the same time, and so when Edward finally arrived with the newly built red express coaches, James glared at him with the force of a million suns. "LATE AGAIN! WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?!"

Edward chuckled sheepishly. "Sorry mate, I got stuck at a malfunctioning signal earlier."

"Malfunctioning signal my ass!" snapped James as he fumed away. James had been forced to wait there so long, as he'd end up leaving his passengers behind like Thomas once did.

…

After James had finished his work, and had gotten cursed out for bringing in an express train twenty minutes late, he headed back into the yard and towards the sheds. He puffed onto the turntable, and glanced around nervously, as he didn't want to spin like a top again because of the wind going insane.

While he turned around, he was still feeling very, very bad tempered. He felt his driver cooking some stew in his boiler.

"What kind of stew is this?" asked the fireman.

"Just something you'll love." smirked the driver.

"EDWARD IS JUST F[beep]KING IMPOSSIBLE!" grumbled James.

"Pretty sure he already exists."

"Worst of all, he clanks around like a lot of old iron! He's so slow he makes us late!"

Thomas and Percy were both indignant and cross at the same time. The two had already had some respect for Edward deep down in their hearts.

"Old iron?! Slow?!"

"Why Edward could beat you in a race anyday!"

"Oh really!?" scoffed James as his face was crooked for some reason. "I should like to see him do it!" And he angrily backed into the sheds to sulk and sleep at the same time.

…

Next morning, after James had pranked Thomas by messing with his face mask, James' driver had ended up falling ill. "WHAT WAS IN THAT STEW?!" he wailed, as he could hardly stand. The fireman rolled his eyes, dragged him out and shoved him to Thomas' driver. The fireman then uncoupled James, getting him ready for shunting. James was impatient to start, as he wanted to get this over with.

The fireman grabbed a towel and wiped his face. Suddenly, the signalman shouted and he spun back around. Sure enough, there was James puffing away down the line!

"OI! WAIT! JAMES! COME BACK!"

"No shunting for me today! HOORAY!" cheered James, not realizing what had really happened.

"All traffic halted!" announced the competent signalman at last. He soon turned around and explained what had happened. "There were two boys on James' footplate, fiddling with the controls."

"Phew!" sighed the fireman. "Why is it always boys?"

"They tumbled off and ran the second James started up." He shook his head. "My kids would never do that!"

"Aren't they in boarding school or something?"

"Besides the point."

Soon enough, the telephone rang and the signalman answered. "Yes, he's here! Okay. Right…" He slammed the phone down.

"Who was that?" asked the fireman.

"The inspector's coming at once. He wants a shunter's pole, some coil of wire rope, and some tea apparently."

"This better be good."

"It is, but get them quickly."

…

Soon enough, the fireman was ready when Edward arrived after briefly shaving his eyebrows, carrying the inspector on board. The inspector saw the pole, rope, and tea. "Good man! Now jump in!"

Edward peeped and started up, Percy and Thomas whistling behind him to encourage him. "We'll catch him, we'll catch him!" puffed Edward gleefully.

Further down the line, James was just laughing to himself. Gordon and Henry were at Knapford, idling and chatting.

"So anyways, Henry, you should've heard this from Eagle." chuckled Gordon.

"What did he say?" asked Henry.

Just then, James sped straight through Knapford, scaring Gordon and Henry out of sorts.

"Whoa! I didn't know James was scheduled to come through here."

"And right on time too?" gasped Henry as his eyes briefly misaligned.

"What a lark, what lark!" James chuckled to himself as he sped onto a stretch of straight track.

Toby was at a water tower when he spotted James.

"Wait a second, am I going faster?" James pondered, finally realizing what had actually happened as he had suddenly begun going faster and faster. "Driver, could you-" He realized with horror that he had no driver on him. "Uh, oh god, oh shit, oh- WHAT SHALL I DO?! I CAN'T STOP! HELP! HELP!" he wailed.

…

"We're coming! We're coming!" called Edward, as he may have had super engine hearing. Gordon and Henry merely looked at each other confused as Edward rushed through Knapford.

Toby then spotted Edward, as Edward was puffing, as in puffing at a speed no engine his age should be going at. Edward never had to puff this fast before, not even back when he was younger and faster. He felt his boiler rattle and clench as the fireman shoveled in more and more coal for dear life.

Edward was panting up behind with every ounce of breath and steam he had on him, even as he felt his wheels almost buckle from the intense pressure.

He finally caught up with James as sparks flew from his (Edward's) funnel briefly.

"EDWARD HELP ME!" wailed James. "I! CAN'T! STOP!"

"YOU THINK I.. HAVEN'T NOTICED?!" snapped Edward, as he was breathing hard enough that he was losing the ability to talk.

"Steady, Edward!" called his driver, who himself was holding down the necessary controls to keep up with James.

The inspector stood on Edward's front, holding a noose of rope right in the crock of the shunter's pole.

"I HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING!" boomed Sidney.

"I AM TRYING!" The inspector was trying to slip it to James' right buffer, but the engines were swaying and lurching so much that it was next to impossible to do so. Once he mostly gained his composure, he swung the pole, and at last- "GOT HIM!" -he shouted. He pulled the noose tight, and Edward helped with it by grabbing ahold of the pole with his mouth.

Now, gently braking, Edward's driver carefully checked the engine's speed, and the very second James was level with the cab, James' fireman quickly scrambled across and took control.

"You did it, Edward!" called the driver. Edward spat the pole out as his eyes were still wide with panic.

…

"So, the old iron caught you after all." chuckled Edward as he briefly swayed once more, leading James forward with the rope. James was now unusually humble.

"I'm sorry, Edward. Thanks for saving me." replied James. "You were splendid."

"It's alright, bud."

The two engines pulled into Crosby side by side. STH was waiting. "A fine piece of work." he said." "James, you can rest for a bit and then take your train afterwards."

"I'm proud of you, Edward. You shall go to the works and have your worn parts mended."

"I think I'll shunt for a whole week after all this." sighed James.