You are too hard to forget/
I'm drowning in regret./
Oh, darling, won't you set me free?
Used to dream about the past/
I'm running from it fast/
Don't ask about my history/
I can't let it be/
I've got a bad, bad memory
~o0o~
Elphaba went around to the side of the carriage and hugged Fiyero. How long had he been hurting, unable to confide in anyone? Was it easier for him to befriend those who didn't really care about him so he could avoid that same hurt?
"Oh! Hello," he said. "Not the welcome I was expecting, but I'll take it."
She pulled away and his eyes widened slightly. She swiped her thumb along his cheek, wiping away the tears there. She wanted to say something, offer him words of comfort, but her voice was lost.
He touched his cheek.
"I… I don't know why I'm crying," he said, pulling out his handkerchief to wipe them away. "I wasn't dreaming of anything sad. Let's keep this matter between us, yes?"
She smiled sadly and walked away to the canal, laying down in an empty space. She dragged her hands through the grass, making it grow tall with the wildflowers that were considered weeds. She breathed in the autumn air and felt the sun on her face.
It wasn't going to be easy, but she'd live. For him. It didn't matter if he knew her or not, but he was willing to drop everything for someone he didn't know if it meant he could save their life. To make up for the one he couldn't save.
Elphaba looked up at the clouds, wondering what she would do with her time. She could hear the excited chatter and Madame Morrible's booming voice. She closed her eyes. She wouldn't go near the party again. She couldn't, but there were safer places to go. Places she didn't have to be afraid of. Not today anyway.
Fiyero moved into her line of vision, looking down at her with an expression she couldn't decipher.
"Uh, hi," he said and knelt down. "I'm throwing a party tonight, if you want to come."
She shook her head.
"Plans?" he asked.
She nodded.
"Well then… how about some food?" he suggested. "My treat."
Food… Maybe she should try to find foods she loved. Things she liked so much she wouldn't care if people were watching her eat.
Elphaba nodded and Fiyero smiled.
"Groovy," he said.
"I don't want to go near the Ozdust," she signed. "Please. I can meet you at the restaurant."
"Oh, sure," he said. "Uh… Roan's Kitchen. Know it?"
She nodded. "Perfect."
~o0o~
Elphaba checked over her shopping list and checked off the last item. The spices she could keep in her hair, they'd last just fine. Food seemed to last longer within the portal. She'd been experimenting with it more. Having a way to calculate her time spent in this time loop spared her sanity just a little bit.
Elphaba checked out and left the store, her arms loaded with shopping bags.
"Excuse me!"
She turned around and Fiyero took a step back in surprise.
"You go to Shiz, yeah?" he asked.
She nodded.
Even after all these cycles, the path back to school hadn't come easy to him.
"Are you heading back there now?" he asked.
She nodded again.
"Mind if I walk with you?"
She shook her head.
"Oh, good," he said, relieved.
Elphaba adjusted the bags and kept walking.
"Here, let me help you," he said, taking one of them.
"Thank you," Elphaba signed, cradling the other one.
Fiyero didn't say anything until they were at her dorm. Elphaba wanted to speak, but her voice just seemed to be missing. She thought of what Dr. Dillamond said about Animals losing their powers of speech and wondered if the two were related somehow. Not that the Animals were in a time loop but that something awful was happening to them.
She unlocked the door and poked her head in. Roommate gone, satellites nowhere to be seen. She entered and set her groceries down on the coffee table.
Fiyero followed suit and faced her fully so he could sign.
"I'm Fiyero, by the way," he said. She loved the sign for his name. Dancing was so much a part of himself he had been named in a way that reflected it.
"F-A-E."
"Fae," he said aloud and she liked the sound. He signed, "Cooking anything special?"
"Yes, but I don't know if it will be good," she said. "I wanted to try something new."
"Well, I'm sure your boyfriend will enjoy it," he said.
Elphaba tipped her head in confusion.
"Well, I assume you're having a date night," said Fiyero. "If you're cooking something special."
She shook her head.
"Ah! Well, you know, I'm having a party tonight. You should come!"
"I don't like parties."
"That's a shame," he said. "What are you cooking, anyway?"
She didn't know the sign for it.
"G-U-M-B-O. I've never had it before."
"I love gumbo!" Fiyero said, lighting up. "I think this is where my date lives. Mind if I come a little early?"
Well, he could still decide to come by early whether she gave permission or not.
So, she nodded and he beamed.
Elphaba put the groceries in the small ice box. Galinda must have brought it because it was pink and she used it to store makeup and bottles of sparkling water, but there was enough room for the food Elphaba bought.
She let her hair out of its plait and pulled out the soup pot she stole from the culinary classroom.
"Your hair is a portal?!" Fiyero gasped. "That's so cool! What else do you keep in there?"
He reached for it and she slapped his hand, then pointed to the door.
He chuckled. "Alright, I can take a hint. Later, F-A-E."
She nodded, got out the rest of her cooking utensils, and sat down to read through the recipe. She had found a Vinkun Cookbook at a bookstore and had gone through a few of the recipes.
The kitchen in Galinda's private suite wasn't as big as Fiyero's, but she could manage in it. A single tray of something could fit in the tiny oven and she could utilize two burners just fine. The minuscule sink would probably be awkward for washing dishes, but since it was a time loop she decided not to worry about it.
Elphaba's bed was likely in the space Galinda intended for the sitting area, which meant the sitting room furniture was moved to what would probably have been the eating nook.
She'd manage in the space.
To get things started, she cooked the bacon in the oven to get the drippings for the roux. She could use the strips for breakfast.
Galinda and company returned when she was making the cookie dough for dessert.
"You're cooking?" said Galinda.
Elphaba looked around the room, then back at her, and nodded.
"Well, I'm not eating anything you made," Shen-Shen sniffed.
Elphaba rolled her eyes. As if she'd offer.
"Anyway, Miss Elphaba, I thought you might like to wear this hat to the party tonight!"
Elphaba ignored the spiel and double checked that the cookie sheet was greased before using two spoons to form the cookie dough into balls. She rolled the dough in cinnamon sugar before placing them on the sheet.
Once they were in the oven, she washed and chopped up everything else for the gumbo. She hoped Fiyero liked it, even though she hadn't intended to make it for him initially. She just knew it was his favorite and she wanted to find out why.
Galinda complained of the smell, using a hand fan to wave the puffs of smoke from the stove away. Elphaba opened the windows, but otherwise ignored her complaints.
At 7:15, a knock came at the door. Galinda and her friends were in their dresses, but were still doing makeup and hair, so Elphaba answered the door.
Fiyero clicked his tongue and winked, making a finger gun. He was dressed well, but his hair wasn't styled like it always was; he slicked it back into a ponytail. He caught a whiff of the meal and his eyes fluttered shut as he inhaled deeply.
"Oh, it smells divine in here," he breathed.
"Fiyero! You're early!" said Galinda, yanking the curler out of her hair.
"Well, can't party on an empty stomach," he said, strolling over to the pot and breathing the fragrance in deeper. He looked back at Elphaba. "Need a taste tester?"
She did. She was inhaling the fumes for so long, her taste buds weren't all that reliable for the final product. She stirred it up and poured a bit into the shallow bowl she was using for taste tests, then offered it to him.
He rested his hand on hers and sipped the broth. Her heart fluttered from the small bit of contact. His bottom lip brushed her finger tips and sent thrills through her.
"I see what you mean," he said, "I think a bit more salt and some… yeah!"
He let go of her hand in favor of the hot sauce and dashed more into the pot. Elphaba had only put in about a tablespoon and trusted his judgement.
Elphaba tossed in the salt and stirred it up, then opened the pot of rice crammed on the back burner.
Fiyero grinned and held out his hands. Though she considered trying to be funny and put it directly into his hands, Elphaba instead scooped both rice and gumbo into a bowl and handed it to him before serving herself.
He took a big bite, his eyes fluttering shut. He groaned happily and danced in place, then spun back towards her.
"This is amazing!"
Elphaba's heart sighed happily. She opened the cookie tin to show him dessert.
"Are those snickerdoodles?!"
She nodded and he sighed dreamily.
"Marry me!"
The mascara wand in Galinda's hand snapped.
Elphaba huffed a small laugh.
"You like it that much?" she asked.
He picked up a cookie and took a big bite. He melted and nodded.
"I love it!" He kissed the back of his fist and pushed it out three times. "Love it, love it, love it!"
"It can't be that good," Galinda sniffed. "Clearly it's just love potioned!"
"I'm immune to love potions," said Fiyero. "This is just heaven in a bowl!"
He sat down on the love seat to eat his dinner.
Elphaba ladled her own bowl when a knock came at the door.
"Did you invite anyone else?" Galinda asked and hurried to answer it. "Oh! Milla, Jacen is here!"
A boy Milla sometimes went out with poked his head in.
"Something sure smells good in here," he said.
"Oh. The Artichoke is cooking," said Milla. "Prince Fiyero really seems to like it. He asked her to marry him."
"Well, we forgot to eat dinner," said Jacen. "So…"
Elphaba leaned around to see a crowd gathering around.
Well… the recipe did make a lot. Since she'd never made it before, she didn't know how to pare it down. She shrugged and conjured a stack of bowls, dishing out the meal. She didn't have enough rice for everyone, but she was sure the gumbo would be fine without it.
Everyone seemed to like it just as it was. She saved enough rice for herself and sat down on her bed with her bowl. Fiyero moved to sit next to her, setting the cookie tin down between them. The gumbo was good, though Elphaba didn't really have a good frame of reference for it. It was hearty, the spice had a kick, and the meat came out tender.
"Are you studying to be a chef?" Fiyero asked.
She shook her head. "I just want to try new things."
"She's not deaf," said Galinda.
"Huh?"
"Miss Elphaba isn't deaf," Galinda repeated. "She can hear just fine and she wasn't having any issues talking this morning."
"Real pathetic, pretending to be deaf to get the prince to feel sorry for you," said Pfannee.
Fiyero straightened up and there was a sudden chill in the air. Spoons paused on their way to mouths.
"Why would I pity a deaf person?" he asked. "It's rude, you know, assuming that because someone doesn't experience the world like everyone else that they should be pitied."
"No! She just means the Artichoke is taking advantage of you," said Shen-Shen quickly.
"How?"
They fumbled for an answer.
"It's just strange that she would be using sign language," said Galinda. "Particularly when she was being quite the loudmouth this morning."
Elphaba shrugged. This morning was so long ago and she didn't have a believable answer for her sudden change.
"We can communicate just fine," said Fiyero, going over to the pot to dig out the rest of the gumbo. "Right, Fae?"
She smiled and nodded.
Everyone trickled out to get to the party, leaving Elphaba, Fiyero, and Galinda to follow.
"You have a gift," said Fiyero, stuffing another cookie into his mouth. "So, what's for breakfast?"
Elphaba snorted. "I have leftover B-A-C-O-N so I was thinking B-A-C-O-N pancakes."
His eyes grew big.
"That sounds amazing! Mind if I stop by?"
She shook her head. "I'll make them for nine."
He leaned in. "Looking forward to it."
She took the cookie tin and stretched out, pushing him off her bed.
He chuckled. "Okay, Duchess, I can take a hint. Thanks for dinner."
Elphaba waved her hand, cleaning up the space with magic. She stashed the cookware in her portal, leaving out only what she would need to make pancakes in the morning. She sat down on the window seat and rested her chin in her hand. She could see Fiyero and Galinda leave the building.
Feeling eyes on him, Fiyero looked up and saw her. He waved and she waved back. She looked out at the direction of the Ozdust. She couldn't see it from here nor could she hear the music, but she knew where it was. She knew that place so well by now.
Maybe she should go there. Actually see her attackers and stop them from hurting someone else.
She transformed into a raven and flew to the Ozdust. The Chaser was already there, hanging out under the street light. She landed in the alley and turned into a cat. She watched the Chaser leer at the groups of girls entering the Ozdust. He seemed to be sizing them all up, wondering which one he could lead to the Stabber.
"You asked me to be your date! You said we were perfect together and then you show up early just to flirt with my roommate!"
"Well, last time I checked a date wasn't a commitment," Fiyero snipped back.
"You flirted with her in front of me!"
"It's not like our date started yet!"
"How dare you! At least tell me you weren't serious about wanting to marry her!"
Fiyero looked away. "Uh… sure."
Galinda stopped and glared at him.
"Look me in the eye," she growled.
Elphaba stiffened as Fiyero's eyes landed on her.
"Hey, a cat!" he said and approached with his hand out. "Here kitty, kitty! Ps-ps-ps!"
"Don't change the subject!"
Fiyero crouched and glanced back at Galinda. He sighed softly and scratched Elphaba under the chin.
"You're right," he said. "It was rude of me to flirt in front of you like that. I just… I don't know. Fae is pretty groovy."
"Hmph! I'm going inside," Galinda sniffed. "You may join me when you're ready to be a gentleman."
She stomped into the Ozdust.
Fiyero rolled his eyes and looked at Elphaba.
"Pity I didn't meet Fae first," he murmured. "I wonder what she'd say if I skipped the party and went back to her?"
It wouldn't be the worst thing ever. Elphaba tapped her head against his knee. She sensed movement behind him and saw the Chaser approaching. He was even more frightening in this form, a shadow with an evil glint in his eye. He was drawing his knife on Fiyero! Not Fiyero!
Yowling angrily, she shot forward and attacked the Chaser's ankles.
"Agh! Stupid cat!" He shook at her.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!"
"Fiyero?!"
The knife was brought down on Elphaba's back.
Elphaba collapsed and shuddered, unable to breathe. Not again. Please. Not again! She saw Fiyero fighting the Chaser. Her vision spun and faded into darkness.
She stepped back from the carriage with a sharp inhale that would have been a scream if she had any voice to make one.
Not again. It happened again. The Ozdust was a pit of misery!
Elphaba grabbed onto her braid, gasping for air. She couldn't take it anymore. She needed to leave Shiz.
"Miss? Are you okay?"
She turned to face Fiyero. He was okay. He was alive.
Her hands shook and stuttered as she asked,
"Can you take me to the train station?"
"Why?" Fiyero asked.
"I need to leave. I get murdered tonight."
He stared at her for a long moment, then nodded.
"Detour, Av," he said. "Can you take us to the train station?"
"What for?" Av asked. "She's not even hot!"
Elphaba glared at him and Fiyero cleared his throat.
"Um, Av? I think she's just mute."
Av had the sense to look ashamed and quickly drove off, heading back onto the street.
"So how does it happen?" Fiyero asked.
"I was alone."
Fiyero frowned pensively.
The reckless driving wasn't helping her nausea. She shivered and hugged her knees, still feeling as if the stench of blood was choking her.
She had been so afraid of leaving Shiz for a worse fate than what happened to her outside the Ozdust. She knew she could go far, after all Fiyero took her to Ugabu once. Much of Oz could be gotten to in a day provided you got the right train.
When she was more familiar with the locations she could use that teleportation spell that was part of her Sorcery curriculum. It didn't quite work right if you didn't know where you were going.
"So, where are you going?" Fiyero asked.
"E.C."
"Emerald City? I just came from there myself," he said. "Ever been?"
She shook her head and wished she hadn't waited so long to explore beyond Shiz. Maybe so much of her hurt could have been avoided. Maybe if she had run away from home like she had thought of doing so many times she could have avoided this time loop.
Maybe the Wonderful Wizard would have the solution to free her.
The carriage pulled up at the train station. Fiyero climbed out and offered his hand to Elphaba.
"I'm just going to see her to her destination, Av," he said.
"Sure," said Av, digging a finger in his ear.
The Shiz train station wasn't all that fancy. Just a building that stretched out over the passenger trains and blocked the view of the train yard beyond. People were already milling around and heading towards their trains, some with luggage and others with a single bag to get to jobs in surrounding cities.
"Allow me," said Fiyero, going to the ticket counter for her.
Elphaba looked at the timetables. Looked like there was a train to the city every hour and a half.
Fiyero jogged over and touched her arm.
"Next one leaves in five minutes, let's go!"
They wove through the throng of people. The train to the Emerald City was the very first platform. It was sleek and painted green and gold. Fiyero pulled Elphaba into the first car just as the final warning was called.
"Please have tickets at the ready," a tinny voice said over the speakers.
The conductor was waiting in the first car and held out her hand for the tickets. Fiyero handed over two.
"Let's sit here," he said, leading her to two empty seats.
Elphaba frowned at him.
"What?" he said with a shameless grin. "I told my driver I would see you to your destination, not to the train."
Okay, that was a clever loophole and it wasn't like there were any consequences.
Elphaba sat next to the window, her legs crammed up against the seat in front of her. It was only a 40 minute train ride. Not long at all. She could teleport tomorrow.
"And you know," he said. "If you're not alone, then you can't get murdered."
"That's not true."
"Well, I'm a combat trained Vinkun prince," he said proudly. "Unless we're up against more than four or five guys I could take them. At least long enough so they lose interest and run off."
That was actually comforting.
"What's your name?" he asked.
"F-A-E."
"That's a pretty name," he said. "I'm Fiyero."
Elphaba looked out the window as the train began to move.
"I've lived in the Emerald City for about three years," he continued, rummaging around in his bag. "And visited a lot with my parents. I've known the Emerald City since before it was really the Emerald City. Neutraland has always been a convenient place for people in government to do business. Being Crown Prince means I've had to go to stuffy meetings since I was five. Hell, I remember the guy the Wizard sent asking for infrastructure funds for the Y.B.R. and the E.C. My parents don't like him much, but they go to his New Year's Eve party every year. Pick a letter."
She looked to see he had taken out a notebook and had drawn an apple tree with seven apples. There were six dashes to one side.
"E."
He filled out one 'E' as the first letter of the word.
She crooked her pointer finger.
"No 'X'," he said filling out an apple.
Elphaba got the word with one apple to spare, though in fairness she had no strategy. The word was 'enigma.'
"Your turn," he said, flipping to a blank page and sliding it over.
She drew a tree and seven apples while she thought of a word, then made five dashes."
"Z," he said confidently.
Good guess. She filled out the second to last letter.
"Only one, eh?" he said. "Q?"
She filled out an apple.
He ended up guessing the word "ditzy" with two apples to spare.
He took back the notebook and made a grid of tiny dots, then took out two colored pencils.
"Red or blue?" he asked.
She picked blue and he connected two of the dots. He ended up filling more squares. They played one more round, which she won, then played M.A.S.H.
"Okay," said Fiyero. "You will live in a Swamp in Munchkin City, become a doctor, marry a prince, have eleven children, and you will take them to school on the back of a dragon. Be kinda hard to run the Vinkus from Munchkinland, but hey, if I meet the right person I could make it work."
He winked at her. Normally she would have rolled her eyes, but she couldn't bring herself to. That future was just as impossible as the life her father had planned out for her.
"It's a nice thought," she said and looked back out the window.
"Hey, I know visions are scary, but they aren't set in stone," he said.
The lights suddenly went out and Elphaba made a strangled noise. She didn't like the dark in the best of times and even less after her murder.
"It's just a tunnel," said Fiyero, finding her hand and squeezing it. "The train stations are all underground because the Emerald City is surrounded by a wall. It was originally built to protect Neutraland from armies or ogres. Ogres aren't a problem anymore, though."
The lights flickered on in the car and Elphaba relaxed. The speakers crackled overhead.
"We welcome you to the Emerald City," an overly cheerful choir jingled. "You will see there is so much to do. Every way that you look at the city, there's something exquisite you'll want to visit before the day's through."
"The Emerald City! Where dreams come true!" a man said.
"Get your tickets to Wizomania today!" said a woman. "You won't want to miss it for your visit!"
Fiyero snorted at this.
"I wonder what cabbage patch they grow these people in," he said.
Elphaba smiled slightly.
The jingle ended as they slowed to a stop at the platform. People were already waiting to board to get to Shiz. Elphaba's legs shook with anticipation, like the first time she flew.
"Come on, Fae," said Fiyero, standing up and offering his hands. "I'm going to show you what this city has to offer!"