Thank you so much to everyone reading this story! I really don't know if it's possible to respond to each review (please let me know if it is) but I've read each one and I'm very grateful for the words!
Pepper Potts hadn't slept well that night. Although ate the previous one she had enjoyed a deep and restful sleep, that day she couldn't find the same peaceful rest. Upon waking up in the morning, after a brief nap, the woman was greeted by a throbbing headache, a cruel reminder of her worries and restlessness. She couldn't shut off her mind, and now, as the sun began to rise on the horizon, the redhead had only one single thought: Tony Stark. His encounter with her mother echoed in her head, refusing to accept that he had seen the twins. A flood of questions invaded her thoughts, each one more distressing than the last, and the worst part? She wanted to know how he was, if he still displayed that charming and cocky smile, if he maintained the same style of hair, or dressing... If he was okay, if he still thought of her, if he had regrets, if he missed them... But then, she abruptly interrupted herself, reproaching herself for such thoughts. "What a stupid idea, Virginia, he must have so many women in his bed that you probably don't even occupy any space in his mind," she muttered to herself, hating that this kind of insecurity plagued her. She hated feeling jealous of him, she hated herself for not being able to avoid it. She sighed in frustration, turning over in bed and covering her face with the pillow in a vain attempt to escape those worries. Pepper didn't notice when the twins entered the room, only noticing their presence when both jumped on the bed and pounced on her shortly after, bringing with them a ray of joy and distraction amidst the storm of her troubled mind.
"Mommy, mommy, wake up!" Erin shouted, making a huge effort to remove the blanket from the way and the pillow from Potts' face.
"It's snowing!" Iris said excitedly, joining her sister's task.
"What time is it?" the older one asked, being ignored by the daughters who continued to chatter, so she checked the alarm clock next to the bed and found that it was just past 7 a.m. "Why are you up so early?" she grumbled.
"It's snowing!" the two little girls replied in unison, bouncing back on the bed.
Pepper chuckled at her daughters' excitement. It wasn't the first time the girls had seen snow, but one of countless times she could no longer count. And as cute as their reactions were, it might not end well if the twins kept bouncing like that. "I know it's snowing, that happens in winter and it's very cool," she said calmly. "But now you two need to stop jumping or you'll end up falling and hurting yourselves."
"Can we go outside to play in the snow?" Erin asked, sitting up. "Please, Mommy!" she pleaded, giving her best puppy-dog eyes, while her sister, her loyal accomplice, did the same.
"Okay, but only for a few minutes. It's very cold out there," the redhead knew her offspring too well to know that there was no point in denying the request.
"We're already warm enough," Iris pointed to the pajamas she and Erin were wearing, the children never quite understood how the internal heater worked. How could they be warm inside the house, but not anymore once they stepped outside?
"Here inside, but if you go outside without wearing the right clothes, you'll get very cold. Mommy already explained that it's always warmer inside the house."
"Then let's hurry up and change our clothes, or by the time we get there, the snow will be gone!" Erin complained, jumping out of her mother's bed.
Clearly, that argument was decisive for the older one to follow the twins to their room, who couldn't stay still, making it even more difficult for the redhead to put on each piece of clothing properly. But she had finally managed, and after also suiting up, they were finally in front of the house playing as the kids wanted. In fact, the little girls were running around and doing all sorts of mischief they could think of, making snowmen, angels, drawings, and even a small snowball fight. Pepper just sat there watching the two of them have fun and imposing limits when she felt that something could get out of control. She was so focused on Erin and Iris' play that she didn't see the black car parked a few meters away, with someone inside watching their interaction. Potts only realized what was happening when the driver approached them, stopping a few steps away from her, as if he had been waiting for that moment for longer than he let on.
When Virginia realized Tony was standing there, after so many years, she froze. An avalanche of emotions flooded her, leaving her bewildered. He, who had rehearsed for hours what to say, forgot how to form the words in the intensity of the moment. The ex-couple just stared at each other, in a silence heavy with meaning, perceiving in each other's eyes all the pain they still knew, all the confusion of feelings that consumed them. When they finally came back to reality and Pepper noticed that his gaze alternated between her and the twins, she confirmed what she already suspected. The raven-haired man was intelligent; even though he had seen the girls for only a few seconds, that time was enough for him to have a nagging feeling, aware that something was different, that there was a secret he still didn't understand.
The alter ego of Iron Man spent the night awake. He felt no tiredness, and alcohol seemed to have no effect on his body. As questions about the paternity of the little girls invaded his mind, he couldn't focus on anything else. It was as if his insides were in constant turmoil, unable to settle. He stayed up all night checking the clock, and as soon as dawn broke, he left the hotel. He didn't care about Rhodes or any commitment he had that day; his only concern was to find out if his doubts had any basis. The raven-haired man didn't hesitate to go to his ex-girlfriend's house, although he didn't know what to say or how to act in front of her after so many years; he felt an urgency to find answers to his questions. However, upon arrival, he remained in the car for long minutes, trying to devise a plan. Always mulling over a tangle of confusing thoughts, unable to find clarity. Stark ended up getting distracted, and the clock's hands worked without him noticing. It was only when he saw the two blonde children from the restaurant running past the front door of the house that he remembered why he was there. The two were holding hands and seemed to have difficulty moving with all the winter clothes they were wearing. However, they were completely excited and enchanted by the winter phenomenon.
That's when he saw her.
After years, they were only a few meters away from each other, and Tony could confirm that he hadn't gotten over her, not that it was an honest doubt. That maybe he would never be able to get over her, as if he didn't already know that. Every smile the Potts shared highlighted the connection and familiarity between them. It was a scene that the man could spend the rest of his life observing, and this feeling made him question even more everything he believed to be true. Again, Anthony found himself yearning for clarification. He didn't know what to expect or what he wanted to hear from her. He felt confused, unable to maintain logic when it came to Pepper. And before he realized it, he was out of the car, standing in front of her. The silence that settled between them was deafening, stretching for so long that neither of them could tell exactly for how long they had been immersed in that tense atmosphere. But, as it was inevitable, Tony was the first to say something, dissipating the fog of uncertainty that hung over the ex-couple.
"Hi," he greeted, albeit uncertainty.
"What are you doing here?" the woman asked sharply, not bothering to return the greeting. Was this really happening? Did he really think he could just show up after years and say just "hi"?
"We need to talk," was the response the redhead got, and she laughed nervously, because she hated that phrase. It felt like they were experiencing déjà vu.
"We have nothing to talk about, Anthony. Absolutely nothing," Potts said firmly.
"You know we do," the alter ego of Iron Man didn't let himself be deterred by the hostility of his ex-girlfriend. He was determined, he wouldn't leave without the truth.
"You had 5 years to find me. Now it's a bit too late, don't you think?" Pepper retorted, passing by him without looking at his face and going straight to the daughters, who were too focused on building another snowman to notice the growing tension between the two adults.
"Pep..." he continued, this time using the nickname he hadn't uttered in so many years.
"Girls, let's go inside. It's too cold out here," the woman ignored him, speaking directly to the twins.
"But mommy, you promised," Erin was the first to complain.
"I said we would only stay for a little while and we already have," although she knew the little one was right, the eldest of the Potts had no other choice.
"We haven't stayed for just a little while," Iris's voice was tearful, just like her sister's.
"The snow won't last all day," the little girl continued to argue, hoping to convince her mother.
"I promise we'll play another time," Pepper knew she was being unfair, was fully aware of how wrong it was to interrupt the twins' playtime after making a promise, but she couldn't stay near her ex-boyfriend for another second.
Sasha, who was in the living room watching one of the morning news programs as she usually did, was startled when she saw her daughter enter the house with the granddaughters in tow, stomping her feet and slamming the door shut behind them with unnecessary force. However, when seconds later it swung open again and she saw who was standing in the doorway, with a look of complete dissatisfaction, she quickly understood the reason for that reaction.
"Very mature of you to run away like that," Tony protested, indicating that the argument had already begun.
"Do you really want to talk about maturity? Coming from you? Spare me, Anthony," Pepper snapped, anger and resentment exploding in her gaze.
"We need to talk, you know that, and there's no point pretending otherwise. I'm not leaving here until you stop and answer me," Tony insisted.
"Do we need to talk? Just like we had to years ago and you ran away? You don't have the right to demand anything from me. Nothing!" Pepper shot back.
"And did you hide something important from me?" he added, stepping further into the room, being hit by the dozens of photos of the two blond children that filled the space.
Pepper swallowed hard. How had they gotten into this situation? In less than 24 hours her world had been completely turned upside down. Fortunately, someone there still kept their sanity, so seeing that the atmosphere was about to worsen, Sasha made sure to distract the granddaughters by taking them out of the room. The eldest of the Potts knew that the other two adults needed privacy to finally have the conversation that had been postponed for so many years.
"Tell me you didn't do this," the dark-haired practically pleaded when they were alone. There was no accusation in his tone; he knew the answer, only disbelief remained.
"Tony, please leave," she asked, determined to end the subject before it even began.
"I didn't know you were a mother..." Stark ignored the ex-girlfriend's request. "I didn't even know you were with someone."
"And since when is that any of your business? We're talking about my life, and I don't owe you any explanations," staying on the defensive always seemed like the best option.
"Is it because you're not with anyone?" Tony persisted.
"Can you please leave?" Pepper was far from interested in the conversation.
"Why don't you look me in the eyes while we talk?" the man asked.
"Because we have nothing to talk about," the redhead repeated.
"We have so much history together that I'm almost like an uncle to them," the brunette didn't care about the denial, exploring the scenarios created by his mind.
"You have no relation to them!" the woman spat, far harsher than the situation warranted. But who could blame her? She wasn't ready to face that confusion, she was nervous. It wasn't in her plans for reality to hit her like this.
"You're good at motherhood. I saw you out there, and you can tell how much they love you. How much you love them," the alter ego of Iron Man continued his almost monologue.
"Tony..." Potts didn't even have the strength to form a complete sentence.
"How old are they? 4?" he continued, finally getting to where he wanted. Exposing his unease.
"Please..."
"Because if they're the age I imagine, it means I'm their father, and you would know," he finally said what he wanted. Exposing his unease.
"Tony, I... " When did speaking, joining syllables so simple, become an impossible task?
"You?" Stark asked, expecting more, but only received silence. "Damn it, Pepper, say something!" he pleaded. Was it normal for him to consider crying? "You denied it once, why not deny it again?" It was his last attempt.
"Because I couldn't," the redhead whispered. And if it was the man who was considering crying, she no longer hid the tears that wet her cheeks, truly hating that they were living through that.
"You couldn't?" He looked at his ex-girlfriend for a moment, as if expecting a different answer. It turns out the woman wasn't exactly following the script he had idealized, and she also couldn't say she didn't have the answer he was looking for.
"You never told me you were pregnant." It was a fact, a resentment, a regret, a pain.
"You didn't give me a chance!" She defended herself, even if it wasn't the whole story. "Or did you forget you broke up with me? That you excluded me from your life without any explanation?" She wouldn't accept being the villain this time.
"YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME!" Tony shouted, he didn't want to, but he was at his limit. He had already set reason aside.
"And how would you have reacted? You would have freaked out!" Pepper pointed out. "YOU WEREN'T READY TO BE A FATHER." She also raised her voice, making her words even more cruel.
"Damn it, Pepper, I had the right to know. I asked you what you wanted to tell me, I gave you chances, you didn't even consider telling me you were pregnant with my daughters. My daughters. Maybe I would have freaked out at first and wouldn't have known how to handle the news, but how could I not like it? The woman I loved was pregnant," he sighed. "But we'll never know, will we? Because you preferred we didn't have the chance."
"Loved? Chance? Anthony, you discarded me from your life as if I were nothing."
"BECAUSE I WANTED TO PROTECT YOU, DAMN IT!" He roared. "I wanted you to have what I couldn't give you. Security, stability. I just wanted to protect you," it was so clear to him, how could she not understand that?
"Hiding what was happening from me? Hiding what you were feeling? Without talking to me? We had a relationship, I wasn't just your secretary," it felt so good to finally let out everything she wanted to say.
"You know it was never just that to me."
"Really?" She laughed without humor. "We won't get anywhere with this discussion. It seems clear that we both made a decision thinking about what was best for everyone."
"No. Not telling you about my panic attacks doesn't even come close to you hiding the pregnancy from me. I didn't want to worry you, and you?"
"Tony..."
"You made me into what I feared the most," the alter ego of Iron Man interrupted her for the millionth time with complete sorrow. "Pepper, you turned me into a father like mine, an absent father in my daughters' lives... And for that, I'll never be able to forgive you."
At that moment, Potts felt like she had been punched in the stomach. She had no idea what to say, she knew she had made a choice and that maybe it was the wrong one. But hearing that from the man she had shared so much of her life with, the woman felt the consequence of it like never before.
"I know nothing about them," Stark poured out. "I don't know how you found out you were pregnant, I don't know when. I wasn't there for the first check-up, to hear the heartbeat, to find out they were two babies, two girls. I wasn't there when they were born, or when they got their first teeth. I missed their first steps, their first words, their first birthdays, the first day of school and... God, I don't even know their names or when they were born," Tony took a deep breath, feeling his insides torn apart in pain. He might have made mistakes, he didn't absolve himself of guilt, but he had given Pepper space to tell him about the pregnancy. They could have been so much...
"What do they think? That I died? That their father abandoned them?"
"No... Tony, no..." The redhead was firm. "I would never allow that. I would never let them think that," and indeed, she wouldn't. It had never been at the top of her list for their story to unfold in that way.
"Do you hate me? Because that's what it seems like to me. You hate me so much for making a decision without talking to you first and yet you did the same thing."
"Do you hate me?" Potts managed to say, knowing she wasn't in a position to pass judgment.
"I don't know. Right now, I don't know anything."
"Tony..."
"Damn it, Pepper, don't say anything else. Nothing you say will make a difference!" The dark-haired stopped for a moment, trying to keep calm. He knew that if they weren't careful, they could worsen a scenario that was already unfavorable for both of them. "I know I was an idiot hiding my fears from you, that I was a jerk for not explaining what was happening, for treating you the way I did, as if we hadn't lived anything together. I know you had your reasons for making the choice you did, but nothing excuses that. Nothing in this world justifies you lying all this time. How many more years would you have kept lying? Did it ever occur to you that maybe I wanted to know my daughters?" He argued. "Isn't it ironic how you judge me for something you also did?"
And so, they began a new argument instead of maintaining a civilized conversation, just as it had happened 5 years ago. The problem was that they were suffering, they were hurt, they had never fully healed from everything they had been through, from where their decisions had led them, so it was hard to put their emotions aside. In this way, each of them wanted to speak louder than the other, wanting to hurt each other in the same way they were hurt.
"Tony, stop. The girls have nothing to do with this story, they're innocent."
"They may be, but you're not. You're far from innocent as you try to make it seem."
"Get out of my house. NOW." She was emphatic. It was clear that if they didn't stop right then, they could never go back.
"Fine, I'll go. But not because you want me to." Stark was also tired of going around in circles. "I'm only leaving because I can't stand to look at you anymore," he concluded.
Pepper sighed. She had never seen him like that, with red eyes, the tears he had shed, the words he had said. She knew he wasn't like that, but she also couldn't deny his point. She understood the situation they were in, and to be honest, she just wanted them to talk. She wanted them to resolve that story in the best way possible, but she knew it wasn't the time. Both needed to calm down first. So, she just watched him walk out of her house, and when the man was gone, Potts felt that another part of her had also gone.
How many missing pieces could she live with?