Blaine was fine dining all that he could in New York. His voiceover said, "Oh, the food. And there's always room for my newest obsession. Cronuts. Half croissant, half donut. I may enjoy one or two on my way to school, and on the way back. Okay, I'm addicted to 'em, but they go great with everything." It was fine that Blaine wanted to try the finest cuisines, but he was overdoing it a little, especially with the cronuts. Artie was rolling in his wheelchair, his voiceover saying, "Frank Sinatra said it best, my kind of town. I think he meant Chicago, but I'm in New York now. And Dorothy Gale said, there's no place like home, except she was talking about Kansas. College is almost different from high school." He also had his sights set on three girls, Vanessa, Jessica and Julie. He was singing "Addicted to Love." Kurt was fencing in class while Blaine was eating cheese puffs. A guy said, "Look at the gun show." Kurt said, "Finally hit puberty." "I'm serious. Make a muscle." Kurt did. Quite the bicep. Blaine's voice over was going, "I gotta hand it to Kurt. He's looking amazing these days. Still, I just can't help but feel… Oh, just cut the crap, Blaine. I'm actually a little jealous. Back in Lima, I lifted and boxed, for God's sake." The fencing instructor said, "Let's go, cheese puff." Blaine licked his fingers. In Shelby and Jack's loft, Jack was softly moaning. The doctor from the ad checked his temperature. Shelby said, "Oh, dear God, it's 102 degrees." Doctor said, "Well, he doesn't seem to have any other symptoms, other than mild aches and pains in his joints. Bottom line is, your husband has a common case of dengue fever." "What? But that's impossible. We haven't been in contact with any mosquitoes. Besides, we went to the Bahamas, not the Amazon." "Look, dengue fever is tricky. Lucky for you, it's very minor. If all he has is a fever and minor aches, if he takes it easy for a while, he should be back to normal in a couple of days." "A couple of days?" "Better days than weeks." Jack said, "I have too much pain in my body to walk around anyway." Doctor said, "By the way, congratulations." Shelby said, "Thanks, Doc." Doctor walked out. She touched his forehead. "Oh, honey. Is there anything I can do for you?" Jack said, "I'm all right. Just hot and bothered. Oh, I'm so stiff." "Maybe an ice bath will help." "My whole body aches." "I'll go get something cold for your head." She walked into the kitchen and got him some ice cold water. She put a cloth on his forehead. "Is that better?" "Yeah, that helps. For starters." He cleared his throat. "God, you're a trouper. Listen, I have to go and meet Rachel for something. But I don't have to go. I don't like the idea of leaving you here all by yourself." "Go. I'll be okay as long as I don't move." "Your fever is intense. Maybe it's not dengue. Maybe it's just a fever." "I may be the one with the fever, but you're the one who's hot." Shelby chuckled. "All the cheesy pickup liners in the world, and that's the one you go with. I'll be back as soon as I can to take care of you." She kissed her hand and touched his head with it. "I love you." "I loved you the first time I saw you." Shelby smirked and walked out.
Anne Marie and Ian were gearing up for Nationals. Anne said, "So, what do you think the theme for Nationals is going to be this year?" Ian said, "I have no idea. Maybe it could be inspiration." "That's what we need if we're gonna beat Throat Explosion." "How the hell are we ever going to even possibly do that? They're even better than Vocal Adrenaline. Don't you remember what happened last year?" "Yeah." She kissed him. "Look, the important thing is that Claire and all the other guys are psyched about this. What they do is their deal, but we are coaching them, so we have to go big. Bigger and better than ever before. Claire is still freaking out about finals, graduation and prom, too. She needs all the support we can give her." "How do you think Will's taking all of this in?" "He was okay with it. We're not breaking any rules or laws, so what we're doing is totally legit." "What should you and I sing? At the center." "How about this?" Then they started "I Want it All" from High School Musical 3. Mercedes was singing in church in New York. Anne Marie said, "We'll put that song in the 'maybe' column."
Rachel and Shelby were in a dining room, checking the place out. Shelby sniffled. She rubbed her finger under her nose. Rachel said, "Well, they're certainly festive, aren't they? Um, what do you think, Shelby?" "Hm? Oh, yeah. Go with that one." "Anyway, how's Jack doing?" "He has a high fever. He says he's okay, but really, you know how he is." "Don't I." Mathieu walked to them and said, "Oh! Rachel Berry! How are you? And you must be Shelby Corcoran. Delighted." "Hi there. Who is this?" Rachel said, "Shelby, this is Mathieu. He's gonna be organizing the afterparty for my opening night." "Do we really need a planner for that?" Mathieu said, "Trust me, darling, it really is for the best. Fanny Brice, reinvented. Oh, it's gonna be fabulous." Shelby cleared her throat. "Oh, I must be going. Some of the maids here are getting desperate." He walked off. "Anyway, maybe we should go to your rehearsal. I'd really like to see you go over your lines at that theater." Rachel said, "Shelby, I don't think that's a very good idea." "What are you talking about?" "You're getting a cold." "I'm fine." She covered her mouth with her arm and sneezed. "Bless you." "Thank you." Rachel pulled a tissue from a box. "I told you, Shelby, you're catching a cold." Shelby took the tissue and touched her nose with it. "I think you and Jack were exposed to something during your honeymoon. You just better get home and into bed." "Fine," Shelby wiped her nose. "But you are gonna let me know how rehearsals are going, aren't you?" "Hey, what matters now is your guys' health." In class, Kurt and Blaine were singing "Love is a Battlefield" by Pat Benetar. Some of the others were fencing. Mercedes, on the other hand, was singing "Battlefield" by Jordin Sparks. In Rachel's apartment, Kurt asked, "How are they doing?" "Shelby has a sinus infection and Jack has a fever. I think they were exposed to something during their honeymoon." Kurt said, "I think dengue fever is caused by mosquitoes." "Yeah, well, they both have really bad colds. Let's just leave it at that. Maybe it's not even dengue. All he has is a fever and aching joints." Kurt looked up the research online. "Boy, this sucker has a lot of symptoms." That night, Shelby was trying to sleep. She heard light tapping and woke up. She struggled to get up when she turned to see Jack typing on his laptop. "Honey? Unh. What are you still doing up? It's late." Jack said, "I'm trying to look up a cure for the fever." "Honey, I don't think there's a specific cure for dengue fever." She sniffled. "Water seems to be doing the trick." Shelby covered her mouth and nose and sneezed. "Bless you." Shelby sneezed again. "Bless you." "Thank you. Thanks. What is that?" Jack clicked on the email. "It's from Artie." "Artie Abrams? Well, this is the first time he's ever contacted us. What does he want?" She rubbed her nose. "He tested positive for chlamydia." "What?! How is that even possible?" "I don't know whether to be impressed with him for putting himself out there or disgusted. Yeah, disgusted trumps impressed." "By a long shot." She nodded. "Looks like Artie really got around." Shelby covered her mouth and nose and sneezed. "Bless you." Shelby sneezed again. "Bless you." Shelby sneezed again. "Oh, my God." "Bless you." "Thanks." The next morning, Artie told Vanessa about his STD. "Oh, my God." Artie said, "I just hope we can still be friends." "No, Artie, we are not friends." He then rolled to Jessica. "I'm just gonna say it. I tested positive for chlamydia." Jess said, "Oh, okay. Is that it?" "I don't think you understood me." "I heard you. You have chlamydia. No worries, I'll just go to the free clinic after school." "Wait, you're not mad?" "I'm not if you're not. I mean, for all we know, I could've given it to you." Yeah, that's not any better. Shelby blew her nose. "Honey, do you think you can see if you can find any decongestants?" Jack said, "I'm afraid to stand." Rachel walked into the loft. "Shelby? Jack." She closed the door. "Good grief. What have you two been doing?" Shelby groaned. "Rachel, what are you doing here?" "I wanted to see how you two were doing. I thought I'd get you some water and make him some tea. God, you look like you're melting." Shelby blew her nose again. "You are completely disgusting." She gives Shelby a tissue. Shelby took it and sneezed. "Bless you." "Ah, thank you." "Anyway, it's not much, but it should help keep you hydrated." Shelby opened the water bottle and drank. "A lot has been going on this week." "Yeah, we kinda figured from the email Artie sent us." "Kurt's been pumping up, Blaine is overeating and Sam clearly has no idea what he's doing or what's happening." "Imagine my surprise." "On the plus side, he got a new modeling gig." "Somehow, that doesn't surprise me." Jack chuckled. Rachel asked, "What's so funny?" "Artie has chlamydia, Blaine is a binge-eater and Kurt has muscles now. Everything is going topsy-turvy." "Well, I think it's great that Kurt's been bulking up a bit lately." "I just want you two to click your heels and get back to reality." "That's just your fever talking." "Is it?" "What are you saying?" "Rachel, I think it's great that Kurt's been working out, but nothing is going as it should be. I mean, everybody's doing everything out of character. Artie's having unsafe sex, Blaine is practically a muffin top, and Kurt is getting buff." Shelby said, "That last one isn't so bad." Rachel said, "Yeah, Artie and Blaine I get, but just how high is your fever?" Jack said, "Not that high." Shelby touched his forehead. "You do feel a little bit cooler." Rachel checked his temperature. "Still in the 100 zone, but you're dropping. That's a good start." Artie rolled to Julie and said, "I have chlamydia." Julie said, "What?" "I don't know if I got it from Vanessa or Jessica." "That's even more gross than the chlamydia. Artie, those girls are idiots." Whatever.
Shelby woke up one morning and she stretched. Then inhaled through her nose. "Ooh, my sinuses are clear. Jack, honey." She got up and ran to him. "Honey? Honey. Jack." She felt his forehead again. "Oh, your fever broke. You must be back to normal, too." Jack moaned. "Baby. Honey." He woke up slowly. "Hey. Are you all right? Say something. That heat stroke didn't make you blind, did it?" He smiled. "Only by your beauty." Shelby chuckled. "Ohh. You can add that to your list of cheesy one-liners."