Derek's childhood room was nothing she imagined it would be, she imagined... she doesn't know what she imagine but it wasn't this. His room was covered in pictures and posters of guitars and music artists that she'd never heard of before, there was a drum kit in the corner of the room and a guitar hidden in his closet. It seemed very dereky in a surprising way. His mom had told them everything was as he left it before he left for college so as she walked into his room she couldn't help but smile at the dog teddy that laid in front of the pillows on his bed. Thankfully it was a double bed so they wouldn't have to sleep on top of one another for the next week, not that she would have minded that.

He was asleep next to her, his arm loosely around her waist but she couldn't fall asleep because her mind was spiralling too much, it had been a big day for her and she still hadn't processed what had happened and it was keeping her up. Never would she have imagined that she had known Derek and his family when she was a child, she didn't remember much but she did remember going to the swing with them, even as they drove through her old neighbourhood she hadn't realised where she was, she wasn't paying much attention but still. The same afternoon when she sat outside with Kathleen, looking at her old house gave her chills and flashbacks to things she didn't want to think about it, what happened happened a long time ago but time would never change the fact that it had happened. She wondered if anyone lived in it, if a child lived in it, if there was a child in the same bedroom she spent so much time in, alone.

As she turned over for what felt like the thousandth time she sighed when she looked at the clock, it was only a little before 2am but she could swear that she'd been lying here awake for days and she was beginning to get restless. Derek was sleeping deeply and she didn't want to disturb him so she carefully removed herself from his loose hold and slipped out from his bed putting on her fluffy grey slippers that sat on the floor next to his bed. She looked back and him and moved a curl from his head off his forehead before creeping out of his room and down the stairs trying her best to be super quiet so she didn't wake anyone. It felt strange creeping around his house in the middle of the night so she decided on sitting outside on the porch, hoping that the night air would tire her out and she could go upstairs and fall asleep. As she sat on the swing she looked out at the neighbourhood but nothing felt out of place to her, she could see children's bikes and play mats out of the front lawns of houses and almost every house had a porch with a swing on, even hers. Hers. It wasn't hers anymore. Taking a deep breath she looked at the table next to the swing and decided to reach for one of the books that were stacked, she folded the page corner so she didn't lose wherever whoever was reading it were up to before she flipped back to the beginning and began reading.

"Meredith?" She looked up to see Carolyn sitting down next to her with a blanket.

"Carolyn. I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

"It's okay dear, are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I just couldn't sleep."

"So you came outside?" She asked.

"I didn't want to disturb Derek." She smiled.

Carolyn nodded and smiled at Meredith who looked down at the book she was previously reading.

"I'm sorry I don't mean to intrude, I heard the door close and was just worried, I can go back inside and leave you be." She began to stand up.

"No, it's okay. You can stay, if you want."

"Only if you're sure."

"I am." Meredith nodded.

"What are you reading?"

"Oh. It's... Emma by Jane Austen." Meredith replied as she turned to look at the cover of the book. "It was on the table and I just..."

"That's Kathleen's favourite book."

"Really? I think she's quite..."

"Delusional? Arrogant?" Carolyn chuckled.

"Yeah. I mean, she thinks she can do no wrong." Meredith shrugged.

"I agree with you but Kath loves the ending."

Meredith nodded and began to play with the sleeves of the Columbia sweater she had on over her joggers, not knowing what to say to the woman that sat next to her who seemingly know much more about her that she ever had wanted her to.

"How are you?" Carolyn asked. Meredith knew she wasn't talking about her general feelings.

"I'm... okay. I think. I-I just didn't expect any of this to happen." She sighed turning to her.

"I don't think anyone did dear. But it has, and honestly Meredith I have to say I'm glad it did."

"Why?"

"Well firstly I'm glad to see that you are okay, I don't know if you remember me but I'm glad to see that you're okay. And secondly, I think you coming here and seeing Kath again... I think that brought her some... closure? I know that sounds very selfish to say to you after all you've been through but I know she never forgot about you and she was always wondering where you had ended up."

"No, I- I get that." She nodded, "and I do remember you."

"You do?"

"Yeah. It was you who found me at the house right? And took me to the hospital?"

"It was." Carolyn smiled sadly, "you were so little Meredith."

Meredith just looked at her listening to where she was going with this.

"When I found you in that house, I didn't even know you and I can't explain it but my stomach sank, completely sank. You were so scared, you were trying to clean up the house afraid that your mother would shout at you and my stomach just sank watching you try to clean blood off of the floor." She shook her head.

"I'm sorry." Meredith apologised.

"Honey no, don't you ever apologise. You have absolutely nothing to apologise for." Carolyn grabbed her hands in her two warm ones.

"You shouldn't have had to help me." She looked down shaking her head slightly.

"I shouldn't have." Carolyn agreed, "you never should have been in that situation but I'm glad I helped you when I did."

"Me too. Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me Meredith."

"I do... I really do." A tear slipped down her face followed by a few more as she sniffled.

"Oh sweetie... come here." Carolyn opened her arms to her and Meredith fell into them.

Meredith couldn't do nothing but cry as Carolyn hugged and comforted her, she had never experienced a warm motherly hug before and she couldn't stop the tears rolling. She felt Carolyn's hand on the back of her head and suddenly she felt so safe so she let herself still for a few moments before pulling away and pulling herself together.

"I just want you to know Meredith that I'm so happy Derek found you and that you will always be welcome in my home." She smiled.

"That means a lot, thank you. And I'm happy that I found Derek too."

"He loves you a lot."

"I know, he's amazing. I love him a lot too. I never expected to fall for him so quickly, it was just so comfortable." Meredith told her, blushing slightly.

"The best relationships always are." She grabbed her hands again, "are you ready to go inside? I can make us some tea."

"Tea sounds good." Meredith said before she yawned.

"Why don't you keep the book. Kathleen has read it a hundred times already and I can always pick a new copy up."

"Oh... are you sure?"

"Yes, it's no worries, you look like you were enjoying it."

"Yeah, it's strangely understandable." Meredith chuckled.

They quietly went back inside the house and into the kitchen where Carolyn made them both a hot cup of tea, she was feeling tired now and she knew that the hot milk would make her sleepy.

"Sugar?" Carolyn asked.

"Just one please."

Carolyn sat the tea in front of her and brought over her own, yawning as she did.

"I didn't mean to keep you up." Meredith apologised as she sipped her tea.

"Don't worry about it, I'm glad I got to talk to you."

"Derek was sleeping like a trucker." She giggled, "normally that's me and he's the light sleeper."

"As much as he loves the early mornings, that boy loves his sleep, he has since he was a little boy."

"I was just watching him sleep for what felt like hours."

"I know that feeling. Did you sleep at all?"

"No." She shook her head.

"You should go back up, try to get some sleep, I'll make sure Derek lets you sleep in."

"He always does." She giggled.

"Good." Carolyn smiled as Meredith stood up after finishing her tea.

"Goodnight Carolyn." Meredith said giving her a hug.

"Goodnight Mer, see you tomorrow."

"Yeah." Meredith nodded before turning around and heading up the stairs and back into Derek's room.

Once she got into Derek's bed she could feel sleep inviting her and she fell right into it, hearing Carolyn make her way back to her own room she felt it was okay to finally sleep.

Hope you enjoyed! I love having Meredith and Carolyn moments!