Tenzin lay awake once again. Unable to quiet his mind, he was haunted by the words of his brother and sister. "How could I have been so blind?" he thought. "I spent my whole life trying to live up to his unattainable example only to succeed in the worst possible way."
Sleep was clearly not going to happen at this point. Tenzin lifted himself out of bed, landing silently on the floor as only an Airbender could so as not to wake Pema or the baby. Thinking some fresh air would help him clear his mind, he wandered out to the courtyard. The moon was bright and not quite full, and the air was just the slightest bit chilly. He instinctively found the spot where he and his dad used to meditate. He hadn't intended to go there. More than likely, he just happened to notice it while wandering aimlessly. He needed to talk to his dad, but that was impossible now. While that's to be expected when a parent has passed on, for Tenzin, it was recently made that much more real.
When Aang had been reborn, all of his memories and wisdom became accessible through Korra. But now the connection had been severed, and Tenzin's father really was gone.
Tenzin sat alone with his thoughts. He couldn't unsee the mistakes that the pressure of saving the world had made him blind to. "Well Dad, I guess we both got our wish. I grew up to be just like you. How could you do it, just ignore Bumi and Kya like that? Sure, they weren't Airbenders, but they didn't need to be for half of the stuff we did. I loved the time you and I spent together, just you and me, but now, they hate me for it. You're gone, and they can't stand being around me. I'm the symbol of their inability to have a relationship with you. And if that wasn't bad enough, I've done the same to my children. I was so focused on the destiny you handed me. To train you when you returned as a Waterbender, that I forgot that others need me as well. I studied and practiced everything you showed me so that I could one day return that same knowledge back to you again. I trained my children the same way so that the knowledge would never be lost. I was always chasing destiny but never taking the time to just exist with them. Am I being too hard on myself? How could I have done any different in your shadow? You stopped a tyrant king leading the largest army the world had ever seen, on a day when his bending ability was supercharged by the cosmos, all before you were a teenager. How could I have done anything other than strive to be you? I suppose I should be grateful that my brother and sister despise me enough to show me the truth. They've given me a chance to do what should quite literally be impossible. I'm going to surpass you, Dad. I'm going to do what you couldn't."
Tenzin enjoyed the idea of beating his dad at something. It had always been a goal of his. The two of them had played many of the airbender games that Aang learned as a child. Tenzin was exceedingly well-trained in technique and strategy for them all. Unfortunately, his dad, the only other human capable of playing these games, was also Aang, the Avatar, which made Tenzin the 2nd best and also the worst airball player on the planet. Never once did he ever come close to beating Aang, but he still played. He knew what it meant to his dad. It was a part of his past that he was so happy to reclaim. He had lost virtually everything he loved at age 12. But as Tenzin grew, he could reclaim this one small pleasure from his childhood. Tenzin could never have denied him that. Even at a young age, he saw how important it was. But now Tenzin had a chance to surpass him for a change. Fatherhood was not something that the accumulated knowledge of hundreds of lifetimes really helped Aang with. While several avatars had been parents, they were never really fully present, as the concerns of the world were always a distraction. Never were they free to put their families above all else.
Now, knowing exactly what he wanted to accomplish, Tenzin decided that his first step would be to talk with his eldest daughter, Jinora. "I have so much to make up for with her." he thought.
By this point, the sun was already above the horizon. Tenzin had spent the whole night contemplating his past mistakes. "She's probably already awake," he thought. Tenzin went to get his glider, knowing where she would be at this time of day. He took to the skies for the short trip up the mountain. There was a not-so-secret spot that they often used for meditation and spiritual training. The grass was soft, and the nearby waterfall created the perfect volume of white noise to block out distractions. Jinora would start every day by meditating in that spot. As Tenzin approached, he saw that Jinora was not alone. Kai had come along for a morning meditation. He watched the two of them there silently for a while. It gave him a sick feeling to see how much she had grown while he was distracted by destiny. She wasn't his little girl anymore. She wasn't a little girl at all. She was an airbending master, Tenzin's equal in many aspects and even his superior in some. Feelings of pride, disappointment, and regret swirled around inside him. He had missed so many chances to be a more significant part of her life. He could have been so much more than her teacher. He sat under a tree and practiced deep breathing exercises just to kill the time until they were done. He'd denied her enough already; how could he start fixing things by denying her this personal time as well?
He did his best not to map out how the conversation should go while he waited. "This shouldn't be scripted; it will go where she needs it to, not where I try to guide it," he reminded himself.
Only a few more minutes passed before he heard Jinora and Kai talking. They both smiled and greeted him as he walked up. "Kai, do you mind giving me a few minutes to talk to Jinora," he said in the most cheerful tone he could muster. "Sure thing," Kai replied as he leaped over to his glider. "See you at breakfast," he called to Jinora as he leaped off the mountain. "What's going on, Dad?" Jinora asked as Tenzin searched for the words he refused to prepare. Jinora began to worry as it was clear Tenzin was pondering something heavy.
Once Tenzin saw the anxiety creeping in as she feared what horrible news he might be about to reveal, he assured her that nothing bad had happened. "In fact, something good has happened. I've been shown that I haven't been the father that you and your siblings deserve. I was so blinded by my responsibilities as a teacher that I neglected my responsibilities as a father. Jinora tried to reassure him that he hadn't, but she knew the truth behind his words as much as he did. He had been a fantastic teacher, but when she needed a parent, she always went to her mom. The reality was that she understood completely. The newly recognized airbending master had more than enough wisdom to see what had happened and felt more sorry for him than she did for herself.
"The pressure to continue an entire culture should never have been left to one person. It was too much for you or even for Grandpa. I want you to know I don't blame you for the choices you made. I'd have probably done the same."
While Tenzin was relieved to hear that, but this was only the beginning. The goal was to actually have a better relationship with his children, not just to reach a place where they didn't resent him. He knew what his next step would be though. The thing he had denied her was a chance to grow into the person she knew that she could be. She had done it in spite of his resistance rather than with his guidance. He gave her tons of training over the years but never listened to any ideas or insights she tried to share. Now, he could let her impart the wisdom he needed. She had been at a master's level for years, and he refused to see or appreciate it. Perhaps he didn't want to acknowledge how much he had already missed. Maybe doing so now would begin to repair things between them.
"Jinora, I could really use your help with this. My knowledge of relationships is well… lacking. Are you willing to help me be a better father?"
Jinora worked hard to suppress her excitement at this reversal of roles. She was happy to hear the words Tenzin shared, but she really didn't need them. She saw who he really was and fully understood every action he had taken. She knew she would have done the same in all but a few cases. But his recognition of her as an expert was still a new and exhilarating experience. No, not an expert, his superior.
"Whenever you feel ready, Dad, I know just how to begin. There is a person I met in the spirit world that I'd like you to speak with. He's taught me a lot, and I think he might have some good advice for you."
Tenzin's stomach turned. He had no idea Jinora had been interacting with beings from the spirit world on this level, but he trusted her. Or at least that's what he told himself. So he pushed the idea of her being in danger out of his head and agreed to meet this individual. "Travelling to the spirit world will be a long journey. I have a few things to take care of this week, then I should have time after that."
"There's no need to travel at all." Jinora smiled. I can bring him here and allow him to talk through me. We don't have to go anywhere. We could do it right now if you like."
Tenzin's stomach turned again, this time even more intensely. His eye twitched at the thought of his little, well, now grown daughter allowing spirits to control her. Could this really be safe? He couldn't stop himself from asking. "Are you sure this is safe?" he questioned.
"Yes, Dad. I've studied quite a bit of the old texts and learned from many of the spirits there. I know how to protect myself and how to avoid danger."
"I trust you then."
"Well, all I need you to do is lay down here by the waterfall and give me about 10 minutes to prepare."
Tenzin lay there trying to relax as he waited. He was clearing any expectations from his mind until his daughter's familiar voice interrupted his train of thought. It was Jinora's voice, but it had a different quality. Not an accent, just a different cadence, and choice of words. He looked over at her and saw that her eyes were glowing in a fashion remarkably similar to Korra's during the avatar state. I guess that makes sense, he thought briefly.
"Tenzin, it's great to meet you. Your father would be so proud of the man you've grown into. My name is Iroh. I knew your father and his friends very well. Zuko, who you know, is my nephew."
Tenzin had heard countless stories about the legendary Iroh. The Grand Lotus, admired by the Avatar, the Firelord, the inventor of metal bending, the greatest healer of the generation, the list kept going. Every great individual of his time had their lives touched by this one man.
"You also have a very impressive daughter. She asked me to help you, and I can already see why. Your mind and spirit are entirely out of alignment. You believe your destiny was to train the next Avatar, and you pursued that goal with admirable dedication, but deep down, your spirit knew that was not your destiny. This is why you have been so conflicted recently.
"I was the only Airbender on the planet; how could that have not been my destiny?" Tenzin blurted out.
Life is funny that way. The White Lotus had a plan for Aang as well, but it was not his destiny. We arranged to have the four greatest benders of the day teach him. How could it not have been their destiny to train the next Avatar? Instead, he learned from three children, scarcely older than he was. Destiny isn't always obvious, nor does it need to be logical. Would you like to know what your true destiny is?
"Forgive my outburst; I would love to hear what you have to share."
"Your destiny is to break a cycle that has existed in your bloodline for generations. A cycle that has caused fathers to prioritize the world over their families. It was never a selfish act, but given what they faced, they took the best path they could see in the same way that you have. But in doing so, they taught that same lesson to their offspring. You learned it well and have already passed it on to Jinora. Just as Aang learned it when he was sent away by his father to join the air temple, he passed it on to you when he prioritized preserving airbending knowledge with you over spending time with your brother and sister. The cycle goes back further than you would believe. But, it will end with you as that is your destiny, just as it is Jinora's destiny to discover new truths about the nature of air bending. You wouldn't believe how much progress she's already made. "
Tenzin was speechless. There was so much he wanted to ask that he couldn't form a question. The revelation about Jinora, the truth of his bloodline, and his destiny. Finally, words came out. "What should I do?"
"That part is up to you. It's your destiny; I can only see what your soul can share with me. So, the best path for you is unknown to us. But, as a father myself, I can say that being present and listening would be a good first step."
CHapter 2….
"He's pretty helpful, isn't he, Dad?" asked Jinora.
"I would have expected nothing less from the great Iroh. I never got a chance to meet him, but I've heard stories you wouldn't believe. You should ask him if he really fought a dragon." Tenzin replied, still somewhat star-struck.
"Sure, I'll ask, but you know as well as I do that dragons have been extinct for a long time."
"I really appreciate your help, Jinora. Should we head back for breakfast now? I never planned to keep you here this long."
"Sounds good to me. I'm starving."
With that, they took off together. As they flew, Tenzin couldn't help but remember teaching her to fly a glider. He'd run behind her, holding the tail of her glider, creating air currents to keep her aloft. It was hard for him to believe this was the same flyer that could scarcely open her eyes back then. Now, her gliding was a thing of beauty. Tenzin was pretty sure she was just using the natural currents for the trip home. It's easy enough for any flyer to stay afloat on natural currents but to control where you're going so efficiently requires extreme levels of sensitivity.
They arrived to find that they had largely missed breakfast. Kai had been thoughtful enough to save them both a plate of pancakes when he saw the supply was starting to dwindle. The three of them sat and conversed while other students at the temple were busy cleaning.
"I can tell you're curious, Kai, so I'll tell you what we talked about. I needed Jinora's advice on how to grow past my current level. Helping Korra master air bending had been my primary focus until recently. Now that the world isn't currently under threat, I'm free to focus on my own growth again."
"Way to put it in the vaguest way possible, Dad. Why even offer to say anything if you're gonna hide all the details." Jinora chided.
"You're right, Jinora. I'm not sure why I did that. Habit, I guess. Kai, I wanted her advice on how to be a better father."
Kai was noticeably shocked by his admission. Partly because Tenzin actually admitted a fault, partially because Tenzin showed vulnerability, and also because he never thought of Tenzin as anything less than a great father. He clearly loved his children and cared deeply for all of his students.
"I appreciate you sharing that with me. If there's anyone who could help, it would be Jinora," replied Kai.
She blushed just enough for Tenzin to notice.
"She's already been a tremendous help. But changing old habits will be hard."
The rest of the conversation was rather mundane. They primarily discussed how their training had been progressing. Tenzin was relieved to see that Kai didn't look at him any differently after he admitted to not being perfect. They parted ways with a smile after finishing the meal, and Tenzin was left alone with his thoughts again.
"Be present and listen," he repeated to himself. It sounded easy enough. So he directed himself to the northern training ground where the intermediate students would be. He could be present and watch Ikki while he contemplated what he needed to do next.
The young airbenders were sparring when Tenzin arrived. He had tried not to draw attention to himself but they noticed all the same. He could tell as their posture improved and their intensity increased.
"They're all improving very nicely," he thought to himself. He continued watching until it was Ikki's turn. While everyone else seemed to be giving their all, Ikki didn't seem to care at all that this was a simulated battle. She never took a fighting stance at all, instead opting to conjure an air scooter and ride circles around her opponent. It seemed more like a game to her than anything from Tenzin's point of view. His eye began to twitch as he suppressed the urge to stop the match and make her take it seriously. He took a deep breath and remembered what he had come there to do. "Be present and listen…with your eyes in this case" he thought.
He studied her technique. She was actually dodging quite masterfully, anticipating each attack and moving only enough to evade it. Never so much as to compromise her next movement. Her opponent began to tire. Tenzin could sense that this was her opportunity to finish the match. She slowly closed the distance. She was still circling her opponent, just at arm's reach. Now, dodging punches and kicks just as effortlessly as the blasts of air she dodged earlier. Things went on like this until her opponent had given his all. Exhausted and discouraged, he admitted defeat.
"What did I just watch?" Tenzin thought to himself.
Tenzin had never seen a sparring match play out like that. Mainly because he never would have allowed it to continue that long. He would have stepped in and pointed out the openings for attacks that she had passed up.
The realizations started to pour in as Tenzin thought about what he saw. He scarcely paid any attention to the next match. They still fought extra hard all the same.
In that moment, Tenzin realized just how different he and Ikki were, and it was those differences that made him correct her so much. She never did anything the way he thought she should. There probably were not any two airbenders who were more different. Ikki was a free spirit, while Tenzin was inescapably bound to tradition and responsibility. Where she saw new possibilities, all he saw were wrong ways of doing things. He knew the characteristics of air. Adaptability, flexibility, flowing where there is less resistance, yet the pressure placed on him caused him to ignore some of the most important aspects of what he was trying to teach. He realized that he was acting like an Earthbender. The thought made him shudder and laugh at himself. "I'm as bad as Lin." he joked to himself.
The realization was a powerful one. His job as a father was to nurture her talents and help her develop into the person she was meant to be, not create a carbon copy of himself. While watching her out there today, it became clear that some of his lessons had done more to impede her progress than to help her. He briefly imagined what she might be capable of today if he had been more supportive.
As the last sparring match concluded, Tenzin took the opportunity to step forward and say a few words to each student. They all tensed up, waiting for the stream of criticism that they had become accustomed to. But instead, they were each greeted with praise. While far from perfect, they had each exhibited significant growth since the last time he observed them, and he pointed out everything he noticed that they had done well. When it was Ikki's turn, he saw that she was more tense than any of the others had been. Tenzin could tell that she knew that he wouldn't approve of her approach to the exercise. So even after hearing the others receive praise, she was still caught off guard when he congratulated her on finding an innovative way to win the match. Even more so when he added that fighting against her must have been like fighting air itself. He could think of no greater compliment to offer.
"Keep exploring new ways to use your talents, Ikki, and remember, air fills all voids."
Tenzin finished offering praise and dismissed himself so that they could continue their lesson. As he walked away, he could hear their murmuring behind him.
"Was it really that shocking that I had something positive to say?" he wondered.
Tenzin had one more goal for this day, to spend time with Meelo. Finding that little whirlwind would probably be the most difficult part. He thought about their relationship as he checked all of Meelo's favorite places: the kitchen, his bedroom, the sky bison stables. It wasn't until he checked the central courtyard that he found him. Some of the advanced students were training independently, or so they thought. Commander Meelo was watching their every move, issuing commands and corrections that were largely ignored. He was wearing aviator sunglasses, chewing on a stalk of wheat, and slapping a short stick against his open palm in a gesture meant to show his disappointment in their technique.
"You there, lighter on your feet when you land. And you, tighten the angle of that air blast soldier," he barked.
Tenzin face-palmed. "Well, at least he's not wrong."
Tenzin took a second to compose himself and lept up to the same rooftop from which Meelo was issuing orders. He put on his most disapproving scowl and spoke to Meelo without looking away from the students.
"How are the recruits performing today, Commander?" he asked.
"I don't know if they will ever get it right."
Meelo was always doing things like this, making himself the center of attention at every opportunity. Tenzin had always just assumed it was his personality, but now he was starting to understand more clearly.
"Do you have a punishment in mind, Commander?"
Meelo was just lonely. He was the youngest child at the temple for a long time and was often left behind by his sisters, who had other interests. Even now, with the new airbenders, none of them were his age. So he spent his time with the lemurs and sky bison or just chasing after everyone else.
"I had been too focused on everyone's training to notice how lonely you were." Tenzin thought to himself.
"I think they should shovel out the sky bison stables afterward," suggested Meelo.
"Hmm, not bad, but I may have a better idea." Tenzin bent down to whisper in Meelo's ear. Had it not been for the sunglasses, he would have seen Meelo's face light up.
"Excellent idea, General. I'll go get everything set up."
Meelo disappeared from the rooftop like the wind, exactly as one would expect from an excited young airbender.
While Tenzin waited, he watched the advanced students. Their technique was excellent overall. They still needed to capture the subtle nuances of many of the moves. They still lacked grace and sensitivity, but it would come with practice.
Tenzin hopped down and began to approach the students. He stoked his beard as he studied their movements, hoping to make them self-conscious.
"Not bad. You've all memorized the movements well, but do you understand their significance?"
They all stopped to listen.
"That move you were just doing is called the willow in the breeze. Think about that for a second. The willow is rooted and unable to dodge, yet it still sways with the breeze. So, you also must be able to evade attacks when your movement is restricted."
Out of the corner of his eye, Tenzin could see Meelo peeking out from around a building. He knew the preparations had been completed.
"Now, try to dodge my attacks while holding your position. Anyone who moves their feet will be cleaning the sky bison stables tonight. Remember, sense the attack and flow with the breeze around it."
At that moment, a water balloon landed on top of one of the students.
"Guess you didn't sense the attack." Tenzin joked.
They all looked up just in time to see a shower of water balloons raining down on them. Meelo was using his air bending to launch them from behind the nearest building. Panic began to ensue as they desperately tried to stay dry but also not move. Meanwhile, Tenzin made the task even harder by redirecting the bombs toward the dryest students. The students fought bravely, but there were no survivors.
Once the last balloon had fallen, Meelo emerged to survey the damage.
"How did the recruits fare, General?" he asked.
"I fear they have all perished, Commander. Though, I'm proud to say that not a one abandoned their post. Not a single coward in the bunch. Now, care to join me for a snack, Commander. I believe the recruits have more practicing to do."
The students largely dried off instantly with their air-bending ability. They returned to their exercises, slightly confused by what had just happened but also seeing some value in the lesson. Tenzin and Meelo walked toward the kitchen. Meelo, enjoying having a playmate and Tenzin for once just enjoying this time spent with his son, rather than worrying about what lessons he would teach in the future. Things would be better for them all now, at least until the next existential crisis caused Tenzin to forget his priorities again. But that was the furthest thing from his mind.