Chapter 13
Carlisle showered quickly and dressed, then got out of the bathroom to go help Esme set the table like he'd promised. They'd moved the table from the kitchen to the living room and covered it with a tablecloth. She'd already put the knives, forks and plates on the table and she was starting to distribute them.
"Wait, I'll do it," he said, taking the pile of plates from her hands.
She smiled at him.
"Thanks."
She went back into the kitchen to fetch the napkins and he resumed what she'd been doing. Emmett was in the living room, too, admiring the Christmas tree in the corner.
"Hey, Carlisle, you did a great job !"
"Thank you !"
He grinned and Emmett sat down. Esme came back with the napkins and disposed them next to the plates. She went again into the kitchen, and he followed her to help her bring the food. He took the plates of potatoes and Esme the turkey. They sat down and everyone helped themselves.
"That looks delicious," Carlisle commented.
He raised his head and looked first at Emmett, then Esme.
"Congratulations."
They both smiled and thanked him.
"The tree is really amazing," Esme commented.
He blushed.
"Thank you. I'm glad you like it."
He beamed and so did she.
They ate in a comfortable silence. The food was excellent. When they were finished, nothing was left of it, though that wasn't much of a surprise, seeing Emmett's size. He ate twice as much as Carlisle and Esme combined, but still managed to swallow the entirety of his portion before them.
"Em ! Stop wolfing it down !" Esme laughed. "The food won't disappear !"
Emmett grinned. His mouth was full, and it was a few seconds before he could answer with dignity.
"You never know."
"It's been like that ever since he was a kid," Esme told Carlisle with a teasing roll of her eyes.
Carlisle laughed.
"Edward used to eat super fast, too."
He'd even thrown up once, in the middle of the night, after eating too quickly a plate of meat.
Carlisle's smile wavered a little as the mention of his brother tightened his throat. Esme took his hand in hers and squeezed it with a comforting look and he looked at her gratefully.
"Time for dessert ?" Emmett asked.
Carlisle nodded, thankful that he didn't pry and changed the subject of conversation instead. He stood up and collected the plates before going to the kitchen and putting them in a pile next to the sink. Emmett followed him with the cutlery. Esme brought back smaller plates for dessert and Carlisle got the frozen Yule log out of the freezer.
"Looks tasty," Emmett commented when he set it down on the table.
"Carlisle saw it," Esme replied as everyone sat down.
She began to cut slices.
"The flavour is mango, coconut and passion fruit," Carlisle added.
Emmett hummed in appreciation. They dug in.
"Unusual but good," he said after a few bites.
"I like it too," Carlisle agreed.
It was refreshing, and Carlisle had always loved mango ice cream.
"Hmm," Esme approved. "The colours are beautiful."
The outside layer was the orange-yellow hue of the mango ice cream, the second one was the paler yellow of passion fruit and the coconut core was white.
"Yeah, it does look nice."
"I love mangoes," Esme sighed. "Too bad we're in winter, or I would've bought some."
Carlisle immediately started scheming for a way to buy her mangoes. Maybe he could order some from the southern hemisphere. It was summer there. He'd heard those from the Philippines were very good.
"So do I," he said.
Though it had been a while since he'd eaten one.
They watched The Grinch. It was actually quite funny, though Carlisle didn't know what the fact that he was in his thirties and still enjoyed it meant. He hadn't watched it that many times, though, so maybe he simply hadn't gotten tired of it yet.
"Half-past 11," Emmett declared after a glance at the clock. "We should probably go to bed if we want Santa to be able to drop the presents before midnight."
He winked and the other two laughed.
"You're right, we should," Esme agreed.
She and Carlisle went to her bedroom while Emmett headed to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Just as they were reaching the door though, Esme said :
"I just need to go to the bathroom, I'll be back."
Carlisle smiled and she turned around. He took advantage of her short absence to retrieve the presents he'd brought in his suitcase and stealthily go back to the empty living room to place them under the Christmas tree. Childishly, he didn't want to be caught by the others. He suspected Esme had gone away to let him do it. Emmett must've stepped aside on purpose too, he thought. He quickly went back to Esme's room. She came back in a few minutes. She'd taken much longer than she usually did. She most likely wanted to be sure he had enough time.
She smiled at him when she walked in and he couldn't help but say :
"Thank you."
Her smile widened and she put a finger to her mouth.
"Shh."
He grinned and nodded. After a short pause, he spoke again :
*I think I need to go to the bathroom too."
She laughed and he walked out. He deliberately lingered there, sitting on the toilet seat (trousers on) for about five minutes before deeming it safe to go back. She'd changed into her pyjamas, and he grabbed his own to go change. His toiletry bag was already in the bathroom, on the edge of the sink.
"Think Emmett's finished ?" he asked.
She chuckled.
"Better wait, he must be making sure we're done."
He laughed and sat on the bed next to her. After a short while, she said :
"I'm sorry about what I said about Emmett earlier. I didn't want to remind you of Edward."
He took her hand.
"I'm sorry. You couldn't have known. And I like these kinds of anecdotes. I like learning things about your and Emmett's childhood. I didn't want to – to cast a cloud over dinner."
She put a comforting hand on his shoulder.
"You didn't. And it's not your fault that the mention of your brother makes you sad. You have a right to grieve for him."
"It's been two years."
"It doesn't matter."
He looked at her. Her eyes were sincere and compassionate and prompted him to tell her more, to share his burden with her.
"You know my father was a pastor ?"
She nodded. He'd already told her that.
"Well, I – I used to believe in God. It wasn't just childish naivete, I truly had faith. But I – when Edward died, I lost it."
How could He have taken away someone so young and innocent ? Was there no justice at all ? Was God truly that cruel ? If He was, Carlisle didn't want to have anything to do with Him. He stopped going to church on Sundays and worked twice as much, choosing to place his faith in science instead. There were no miracles, but at least he knew why things happened the way they did, and he knew that he was to blame when tragedies took place.
"Oh, Carlisle…"
Esme hugged him and he buried his face in her hair, breathing in her scent. Slowly, he felt his sorrow and his anger receding. She was running her hand along his back. He liked the sensation. It was soothing and it made him feel lighter. He allowed himself to stay for a few more minutes in her warm embrace. After a moment, he gently pulled away.
"Thank you. You always manage to comfort me."
She smiled a little sadly.
"I'm glad that's the case. You've had no one for two years."
"And now I have you."
He grinned as he spoke and so did she. She took his face in her hand and kissed his forehead, then said :
"I think I heard Emmett going back to the living room. The bathroom should be free."
"Do you want to come and brush your teeth with me ?"
He felt reluctant to leave her, even if he was going away for a few minutes and only a few meters away. Wait. Did he really want her to see him with his mouth full of toothpaste ? He certainly would look ridiculous. But she would too, wouldn't she ? Impossible. Esme never looked anything other than lovely.
He sighed internally. He'd already asked her anyway.
"I would, but you need to change, too."
He blushed.
"After, then."
She smiled.
"Sure."
"I'll call you."
As they brushed their teeth together, both in their pyjamas, Carlisle couldn't help but think they looked like a married couple getting ready for bed (they did sleep in the same bed). He blushed as the thought crossed his mind, and Esme looked at him interrogatively but didn't say anything.
Back to their – to Esme's room, they slipped under the blanket and put the lights out. Right after, they slid in each other's arms. Though they'd done it – was it four times now ? Carlisle still wasn't used to it. He grieved in advance the fact that he would have to go home eventually, and sleep without her again. For now, though, he was blessed with her presence and he meant to enjoy it fully.
Maybe she was having similar thoughts, because she clasped him tighter to her, and he kissed her hair.
"Good night," she whispered.
He could feel her breath on the skin of his neck.
"Good night, Esme. I had a lovely evening, thank you."
"You're welcome. I enjoyed having you there."
She kissed his chin, then yawned, and he closed his eyes.
When Carlisle woke up, their limbs were tangled. They were both on their sides, legs intertwined. Esme's nose was buried in the crook of his neck. Her mouth was pressed against the patch of skin underneath that wasn't covered by his collar. He had one hand flat against her back and the other was enveloping her right shoulder. Her right hand was holding on to his neck and the fingers of the other were woven through his hair. Their hold on each other had not weakened during their sleep and they were still clutching the other's body tight against their own.
Carlisle gasped in surprise at the sight and feel of their position, and right after hoped his outburst hadn't awoken Esme. Now that he was conscious, he could enjoy it fully and he didn't want to move. He kissed her left shoulder, that rested under his chin, very lightly so she wouldn't feel it and closed his eyes, relishing the closeness of their bodies, the way her hand felt in his hair. He was hyper-aware of her lips against his bare skin and of her breasts pressed to his chest. He began to stroke the long caramel waves of her hair in slow, gentle comings and goings of his hand along her back.
To say Esme was surprised when she woke up would be an understatement. She didn't remember having fallen asleep in such an inextricable posture. Sure, they'd been close, they always were at nights (and she loved it) but not like that. Of course, she wasn't at all complaining about this strange twist of fate. She was enjoying it immensely, but she hadn't been prepared for the shock. Her heart was slowly recovering, but it was still hammering quite loudly in her chest, and as it was directly pressed to Carlisle's, she feared he would feel it. He must, since he was awake, as attested by his lightly caressing her hair.
She didn't want to move, first because she wanted to stay like that all day, and second because if she did he'd probably stop his motions. Despite herself, though, she turned her head slightly and kissed his neck. She instantly froze, and so did his hand. His breath hitched. Quickly, she faked a yawn, and pretended she'd just awoken. She didn't want to draw away, though, so she raised her head so that her chin rested on his shoulder. Now she could talk.
"Good morning," she said.
"Hello," he answered.
"Did you sleep well ?"
"Sure."
She could tell by the tone of his voice that he was smiling.
"And you ?"
"It was good."
There was a short pause, then she continued :
"Think Emmett's awake ?"
He shrugged, bumping her chin.
"Oh, I'm sorry !"
He automatically tried to grasp her chin in an attempt to soothe her pain but all he managed was to gasp in pain as he twisted his arm when he reached at the back of his shoulder where her face was. She laughed.
"Are you okay ?"
"Yes, sorry again."
He'd abandoned his endeavour and placed his hand back on the small of her back.
"I'm fine, don't worry."
He sighed, and they both relaxed into each other's embrace. After a while, he said :
"Let's spend the day in bed like that."
The words were spoken so softly she wasn't sure she was meant to hear, but she answered anyway.
"I wish we could."
"Why couldn't we ?" he asked with a chuckle that meant he wasn't totally serious.
Esme kind of wanted to stay like that, too, but she remembered that eventually they would feel uncomfortable remaining in the same position. Also, what would become of Emmett ? He was supposed to leave after lunch. Esme wanted to say goodbye to him. We could always go back to bed after, she thought. She laughed at herself for considering that idea seriously.
"Well, we've got presents to open," she finally answered.
"Doesn't this count like a present ?"
She assumed 'this' meant their… situation.
"It depends. Do you like it ?"
"With my whole heart," he said, with such meaning in his voice that Esme chuckled.
"I do love it too," she agreed. "So I guess it does count. But what about Emmett ?"
"Oh. I'd forgotten about him."
He paused, and then said :
"I guess I'll consent to getting up, then. For Emmett's sake."
Esme laughed again.
"I'm sure he'll be grateful to you."
"But we're going back to bed after."
"Sure, if you want to."
The worst was, she truly meant it. And she hoped he would want to.
"Thank you."
He kissed her shoulder (it was the only place he could reach apart from her ear) and a pleasant shiver ran through her.
"Should we go and wake Emmett up ?" he asked. "I find I am quite impatient to see what you both got me."
Esme smiled, though he couldn't see it.
"Ah, but that's the point of Christmas."
He chuckled.
"Okay, let's get up," she agreed. "The thing is… how ?"
They considered their position.
"Maybe we should start by the upper body."
"Sure. Uh –"
"I'll just – remove my arms –"
"One of mine's stuck under your head –"
She was talking about her left arm (she'd already freed the right one), at the end of which her hand was clutching his hair. She let go of it and slipped her arm back (he was holding his head up). Once that was done, she withdrew from his shoulder where her head lay and found herself face to face with him. Her hands automatically cupped his shoulders. His blue eyes were so close she could see her reflection in his pupils –
"Success ! The legs now ?" he asked.
"Y–yeah, sure !"
She tried to regain her composure.
"Okay, so the one at the top is yours –"
She lifted her leg and bent her knee to place it a little behind.
"Next is yours."
He did the same, freeing her left leg, in which she had pins and needles after staying stuck all night.
"All done !"
They smiled at each other in victory. Their faces were still very close, and Esme wanted to – She groaned internally. Would her brain (or whatever part that wouldn't stop pining after Carlisle) finally shut up ?
They switched to a sitting position, waiting for a few seconds as the blood flowed to their heads.
"Ugh," Carlisle groaned, "I told you we shouldn't have moved."
They met each other's gaze and started laughing.
Emmett had opened the curtains of the living room and was sitting on the couch when they joined him. He grinned at them and said :
"Ready to open the presents ?"
They sat underneath the Christmas tree in one massive, jumbled pile. Everyone had just dumped them in the dark when they'd been there last evening. It didn't matter, as long as they remembered whose it was.
"Okay, who starts ?"