Author's Note: Yeah, this chapter is kinda angsty...I don't know

December 2009

Monica stared at herself in the mirror. There seemed to be a moment in every pregnancy where a change would occur. When you go from barely showing to popping. And well…Monica had popped. Her belly felt huge all of a sudden and it felt like it happened overnight. And it wasn't just her belly. Her boobs were bigger. Her ass was bigger. All of which made Chandler very happy. But now her back was always hurting, her hips were always hurting. She was always tired. Her hormones were all over the place. One morning she accidentally knocked over her glass of juice and immediately burst into tears. It took Chandler about 20 minutes to calm her down. And she still had two more months to go. She was also sweating all of the time. She practically felt like a furnace. And it was only December. How did Erica deal with her pregnancy in May? She could barely sleep because it was just so hot. And it was so hard for her to get comfortable now. The only thing that seemed to bring her relief was the pregnancy pillow that she recently bought. She basically spent every night cuddling up next to it. And this made Chandler very unhappy.

"If you love that thing so much, then why don't you just marry it," he mumbled under his breath one night.

"Are you really getting jealous over a pillow, Chandler?" Monica asked as she adjusted the pillow.

"No," Chandler said defensively. "You just won't go anywhere without that stupid thing."

"Well this stupid thing is helping me sleep and it doesn't tell me stupid jokes." Monica snapped. She seemed to have struck a nerve as Chandler didn't say anything else. She felt slightly guilty, but really, why would he be so upset over something so trivial. She just wanted to be able to sleep through the night. And it was getting harder and harder to do that. She heard him mumble goodnight as he turned off the lights. She squeezed her pillow tightly and tried to fall asleep.

Monica screamed as another wave of pain tore through her body. It was too much. It was all too much. She couldn't even remember how long she had been pushing. She couldn't talk, she could barely breathe. God, how did Erica push two of these things out of her? How did Pheobe push three? Different doctors and nurses would fade in and out of the background, she would hear phrases of conversations but nothing seemed to make sense. And where was Chandler? He should be here. Why wasn't he here? Was he still mad at her? Over a stupid pillow? She tried to call out to him, but she could barely speak through the pain. Another contraction hit her and she pushed again. Make it stop. Please just make it stop. It felt like her body was being torn apart. She suddenly collapsed onto the bed as she pushed her daughter out into the world, breathing heavily as the pain finally faded. But the feeling of relief didn't last for long. The hospital room was suddenly empty. Why was it so dark all of a sudden? Shouldn't the baby be crying?

"Wait," Monica tried to find her voice. "Wait, where is she?"

She was met with silence.

"Let…let me see her! Where is she?" Monica tried to sit up in the bed but it felt like a weight was on her chest. "Where's my baby? Let me see my baby!" She thrashed against the bed but was unable to move. It felt like something was crushing her.

"Monica!" she heard a voice call out to her but she couldn't think clearly.

"No! Please!" she cried and tried to move again and her arm ended up hitting something…no, hitting someone.

Her eyes flew open and her hand immediately went to her swollen belly. The realization hit her all at once. It was just a nightmare. Chandler had been trying to wake her up. And she had smacked him in the face with her arm.

"I don't know what I did but I'm sorry," Chandler said as he covered his nose with his hand.

"Oh my god, Chandler!" Monica reached for him; her hands were shaking. "Are you alright?" She placed her hands on his cheeks to assess the damage.

"You pack a mean right hook," he replied. "What happened?"

"I…I thought…" she couldn't get the words out and let out a sob.

"Hey, come here." Chandler said and pulled her into him. She buried her face in his shoulder. "It wasn't real."

"I'm sorry!" she finally said.

"For hitting me?" He asked. "That was nothing. "I've taken worse than that."

"No, for calling your jokes stupid."

"It's okay, my jokes are pretty stupid."

Monica was still trembling. She just couldn't get the images out of her head. "I couldn't find you. And then…and then the baby…"

"It was just a nightmare." He placed his hand on her belly. "I'm not going anywhere. And she's okay, Mon. I can feel her kicking right now." He placed soft kisses all over her face as she held onto him like a lifeline.

Monica took a shaky breath and eventually fell asleep. The pregnancy pillow fell to the floor, completely forgotten.

Monica took a deep breath as she slowly removed herself from Chandler the next morning. There was a tightness in her chest that she couldn't quite explain. She could feel Chandler's lips on her forehead.

"Hi," she said quietly.

"Hi," he mumbled back. "Sleep any better."

"Yeah," she said. "Slept a lot better."

"Good."

"I think I'm gonna head down to the kitchen and start making some breakfast."

"Are you sure?" he asked. "It's still pretty early right now."

"Yeah, I'm sure." She said. "I just need to move around a bit."

She needed a distraction. So she decided to make a big breakfast this morning. She looked through the pantry and decided she would make cinnamon rolls. It would take a couple of hours to make but it would be a good way to distract herself. She mixed all the ingredients together before kneading the dough, taking out all of her frustrations on it. Everything was fine. It was just a stupid nightmare. She had another doctor's appointment later today. She would just have to ask for the millionth time that everything was okay. After that, she spread the cinnamon sugar mixture onto the dough before rolling it up and cutting it into pieces. By the time she placed the rolls into the oven, she was starting to feel like herself again. She could also feel the baby kicking which helped alleviate her fears.

"Do you like baking?" Monica asked as she placed her hand on her belly. "I can teach you when you're older. Hopefully you inherit my baking skills."

The whole house began to smell like cinnamon, which meant Jack and Erica were now in the kitchen asking when breakfast would be ready.

"Not yet," Monica said as she took the rolls out of the oven. "We need to wait for them to cool. Why don't you to go get dressed, first?"

Both of the twins grumbled before heading back to their room. Monica then started cleaning the kitchen as Chandler came down the stairs.

"Ooh, cinnamon rolls!" he said as he tried to reach for one before Monica smacked his hand away.

"They're not ready yet." She said quickly.

"But, Mon…" he whined.

"You are worse than the twins," she huffed. "Now go get dressed."

"Ugh, fine," Chandler said as he headed back upstairs.

After breakfast was over, Monica walked slowly to the couch. She would bring the twins to school and then relax until her appointment. Chandler had told her that he would try to meet her at the appointment.

"Mommy," she heard Jack ask. "Can we go to the park after school today?"

"Oh honey," Monica said. "I'm sorry I don't think we can go today. I have a doctor's appointment this afternoon, and by the time we make it back it'll be too dark."

"Oh," Jack said softly and turned away.

Monica suddenly felt the baby kick again and let out a grunt.

"Is the baby kicking?" Chandler asked and Monica nodded.

"Can I feel the baby?" Erica asked and ran over to her mother. Monica nodded again as Erica placed her hands on her stomach. "That's so cool! Jack come over here!"

"I don't want to see the baby!" Jack suddenly shouted. Monica, Chandler, and Erica all turned slowly, confused by his sudden outburst.

"Hey, buddy, what's wrong?" Chandler asked.

"N-nothing," Jack said too quickly. "I-I just need to use the bathroom."

Monica stared at her son while he ran towards the bathroom. Was he upset about the baby? He and Erica were so excited about everything at the beginning. But the more she thought about it, the more she began to notice that Jack showed less and less interest over time. He wasn't so excited about the gender reveal. He didn't want to tell his grandparents about his new little sister. He barely even glanced at the last ultrasound picture. Had she been ignoring the signs over the past few months? They were going to be late if they didn't leave soon. So she decided that she would talk with him later that night.

"Hey Jacky," Monica said after everyone had finished dinner. He barely touched his food. She was watching him play with his cars in his bedroom. "Can I come in?"

Jack just nodded.

"You seemed pretty upset earlier today." Monica said as she knelt down on the floor next to him. "Are you feeling okay."

"The baby is in your tummy," Jack said quietly, refusing to look at her.

"Yeah, the baby is in my tummy."

"But I was never in your tummy," Jack said and he finally looked up at her with tears in his eyes.

"Oh, honey," Monica said and pulled him into a tight hug. "It doesn't matter if you were in my tummy or not. You are my son and you will always be my son. No matter what."

"But how come my first mommy didn't want me?" Jack mumbled into her shoulder.

"Honey, look at me," Monica said. "Your first mommy loved you so much. But she couldn't take care of one baby, much less two babies. And she wanted to find the perfect family that could take care of you and your sister."

"So she found you and Daddy?"

"That's right," Monica said. "And I am so grateful to her. Because of her, I got to be a mom. I will always be your mom. And nothing will ever change that."

She hugged Jack tightly and he wrapped his arms around her. "C-can I meet her?"

"One day," Monica said. "When you're older."

"I-is she nice?"

"Very nice. And she has hair just like yours." She said as she ran her hands through his blonde hair.

"Is everything okay?" Chandler asked, leaning on the door frame.

"Yeah," Jack said and wiped his face. "I'm sorry I yelled earlier."

"It's okay, honey." Monica said to him. "I know there's a lot of change going on right now and that can be scary, but it doesn't change how we feel about you."

"How about this?" Chandler said and crouched down so he was at Jack's level. "If the weather is nice then why don't you and I go to the tennis court next weekend and I can show you how to play tennis."

"Really?" Jack asked.

"Yeah, it'll just be you and me. What do you think?"

"Yeah!" Jack smiled and hugged Chandler tightly.

"Aww," Monica smiled as she placed one hand on Chandler's cheek and the other on top of Jack's head. "Look at my two boys."

"I'm not your boy," Chandler said defensively as he crossed his arms.

"Yes, you are." Monica said.

"Yeah, you totally are," Jack agreed.

"Yeah…I know."

She spent the rest of the evening playing cars with Jack, racing them all around the room. Erica even joined in at one point. She then helped them get ready for bed and hugged them both as tightly as she could.

"I love you both," she said. "More than anything. And nothing will change that."

After the twins were asleep, she headed to her own bedroom, and found Chandler trying to put the pregnancy pillow on the bed.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Isn't this how you usually place it?" he asked as turned the pillow in a specific position. "So it's not so much pressure on your back?"

She looked at her husband and smiled slowly before looking at the pillow. "You know, I don't think I really need it tonight."

Chandler stopped. "Really?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "It takes up too much room anyway."

She watched as he placed the pillow back into the closet and then climbed into bed with her. She pulled him close to her and decided that while the pregnancy pillow was nice, she preferred cuddling with her husband instead.

Author's Note: Another reminder about the discord server. It's been a really fun time so far so let me know if you want to join.