"Hey, Tom."
"MY NAME IS...wait."
"Did I get it wrong?"
"...I hate you."
"Ignoring that," she chuckled, "could you teach me Parseltongue?"
"NO!"
"Why not?"
"That is the language of Salazar himself! Why would I knowingly sully its reputation?!"
"I asked if you could, not if you would."
"..."
"That makes sense though," she continued, unperturbed, "it would take an exceptional wizard to attempt such a feat."
"...your manipulation attempts are laughably transparent."
"مرحبا"
"What is that?!"
"My attempt."
"Ssαασhsε ssυποhάzισss."
"Is that Parseltongue?!"
"Sσshsεz."
"Sha-si-shse-sz?"
What followed was an impromptu lesson on parseltongue pronunciation.