"Sussy Baka"
So hey! first fanfiction ever, and a rareship one to boot! this is a really, really rushed idea i had on discord because a good friend of mine who's also hella into this ship, Vscore, sent me a gif of Melony calling Bob a sussy baka; i wanted to make that into a Bob x Melony moment, and i think i went at breakneck speeds here on how things happened, but eh, i had fun writing it. if you are one of the less-than-500 people who enjoy this ship, i hope you get to enjoy this fanfic! ... and if you aren't actually into this ship and you just wanna mock it (or shitty shipfics), i hope you get a laugh outta it too! :D
WARNING: This fanfic uses a lot of story elements from my SMG4 AU, which developed Bob and Melony when they started to hang out more with each other after a version of the Melony Felony where things went the other way instead of with Axol, ending up with Bob falling for Melony, and her developing a close bond to him that will bloom into something more. this is to explain their massive characterization differences compared to canon at this point of the show, as tl;dr: Melony helped Bob heal from his traumas, making himself more open of his feelings, while she encouraged him to be a better person (which he does particularly for her sake); and Bob has inspired Melony to be more daring, quick-witted, brave... and a loudmouth (because she wants to match his).
Enjoy!
(SMG4: What If... Bob was a sussy baka?)
Melony: Someone here is a sussy baka hmmm?
Bob: ... "Baka"? As in "stupid"? You just called me stupid?
Melony: Wait what- oh no! I didn't know that! I'm so- are you crying!?
Bob: N-no i just have allergies!
Melony: Bob, i'm sorry, i didn't mean to call you stu-
Bob: It's fine! I mean, everyone has already done so at one moment, what's one more to that pile!
Melony: ... I can't say you haven't made any bad choices really, but i won't call you stupid for making them.
Bob: ...
Melony: When you do dumb things, you now feel bad about them, so you try to make up for those and do better! So you're not stupid in my eyes, just kinda shortsighted at times, and you're doing your best to fix that!
Bob: ... Thank you Melony.
(The garo took a deep breath, he needed to let this out)
Bob: I... need to be honest, i thought you were dumb as shit at first, but now i see that's because you didn't know a lot about people and the world. Now? you're pretty damn sharp and quick to think not just for the moments, but about people; oh and you also got those amazing hacker skills too!
(Mel's heart begins to beat fast as her face skin acquired a pink shade)
Melony: T-thank you Bob! i appreciate that.
Bob: No i mean it, you at first didn't react a lot, you were kind of a uninterested bum, but now... you're like a sun ray in the night for people... and for me too.
(Bob realizes what he just said, and begins to blush hard. Melony now looks redder than watermelon juice, and they both lock flustered gazes for a moment)
Melony: T-that's so... Bob, that's the nicest thing anyone ever said to me... it means a lot coming from you (AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH)
Bob: Nice words for a nice girl hahaa! That's the very least i could say about you! (AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH)
(Bob and Melony's hearts are thumping mad, their heads feel like they're on fire, and they can't stop staring at each other's eyes)
Melony: (Those emeralds...)
Bob: (Those rubies...)
Both: (Were they so shiny and beautiful before?)
(They instinctually lean towards each other, eventually taking a step foward each)
Bob: (WHAT AM I DOING!? WHAT IS SHE DOING!?)
Melony: (What the- i can't hold myself back!)
(Another step foward)
Bob: (FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKSTOPTOPTOPTOP)
Melony: (But... do i wanna hold myself back? Bob looks like he wants too... but he also can't, like me)
(Another step, and now their chests touch, Melony's sizeable breasts pressing against Bob's broad chest. They can feel their hearts beating strong and loud. Bob stares down at Melony, while she stares up at him)
Bob: (Does... does she want this? I mean, i want her too but... like this?)
Melony: (... I want him, and i can see he wants me too, but he's denying it... what a dork)
Bob: M-Melony...?
Melony: Bob...
(They feel their hot breaths, their rising temperature, and their hearts beating like they're gonna explode. Bob can feel the sweet scent of her silk-smooth hair, while Melony feels that comfortable drab of his that reminded her of home. They're being driven mad by these emotions and sensations neither really understood well, and while Bob was scared of them, Melony accepted these feelings)
Bob: (I need her...)
Melony: (I need him...)
(Melony takes the initiative, starting to tip-toe in order to reach Bob's face. His eyes panic, but his body leans towards her, closing towards her lips. he closes his eyes, and lets himself go...)
SMG4: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS DOING?!
(Melony and Bob have no idea what to say, they were completely lost in their instints until SMG4's arrival. the whiplash leaving uncapable of thinking any sort of reasonable excuse)
SMG4: So? nothing to say? because i just told her to call you a funny thing, now 5 miuntes later it looks like you're about to kiss!? how do you guys even- was Bob forcing or tricking you?!
Bob: WHAT?! NO I FUCKING WASNT'! I AM A SICK FUCK, BUT SHE'S OUTTA BOUNDS!
Melony: N-no Bob is right! he wasn't forcing me or tricking me! i was leaning in too... because i felt like doing that...
(Bob looks at her in genuine shock, now his more rational part realizing she really was going to kiss him in the lips. SMG4's expression becomes mortified at this statement)
SMG4: You... you genuinely wanted to k-kiss HIM?! Bob?! but what about Axol?!
(Bob is visibly hurt that SMG4 looked down on him like this, despite his changes. hurt is replaced by anger, which manifested on his face. he was going to talk, but Melony stomped her foot and stood upright)
Melony: So what if i wanted to kiss him huh?! what if it's Bob Bobowski?! the one who chooses who am i gonna kiss is me, and only me! if i want Bob, then too damn bad for you, because he's gonna be my choice, and my reasons will be my own! and what about Axol? we aren't a couple, and we don't hang out with each other as much as we did before! you got a problem with who i pick? you wanna make me choose someone who my heart hasn't chosen?! then i don't have anything to listen from you: SCRAM!
(Melony was shaking after that, with tears in her eyes, wether of embarrasement or anger was unclear. Bob was simply stunned at her speech: she had completely and unapologetically spilled the beans about her attraction towards Bob , but she had perfectly articulated her feelings on the matter, and stood tall not just for him, but for herself as a rational adult who had grown far beyond the dumb- oblivious and careless womanchild he met last year. Bob felt like if he had already a major crush towards her, now he wanted to be forever at her side, and never ever let go of her, that if he wasn't at her side for too long, he would flat out DIE. SMG4 was simply at a loss of words, and couldn't think of a thing to reply to her. he was visibly hurt by her anger, but he simply couldn't come up with anything to reply to her. SMG4 lowered his hat, packed his recording equipment, and began walking away. Melony and Bob looked concerned, but SMG4 turned towards them)
SMG4: I guess you have a good point there... good luck you two, maybe i can do another skit with Rob and Steve, see ya.
(Nothing was said until SMG4 left the castle, when the door closed, leaving the unspoken couple all alone)
Bob: Sheeesh, you laid the smackdown on him, maybe a bit too harsh on him.
Melony: Look at you, i just know a few months ago you would've talked crap about him, and now you're concerned about me being too harsh? you've really changed for the best. besides, i won't apologize, i WILL stand for my words, and no one will change that.
Bob: Heh, i really became kind of a softie, and you a tougher, yet quite the wiser gal, who would've known?
Melony: And we're better off like this.
Bob: Yeah... being consistently nice now feels pretty nice, thank you for helping me with my traumas and setting me straight, life now feels so much more enjoyable to me.
Melony: Goes the same for me, i was missing on a lot before i hung out with you, and now i feel like the world is so much bigger, so much more exciting... thank you Bob, for making my world better.
...
Bob/Melony: I love you.
(Both stare flabbergasted at each other, completely baffled at what they just said and heard. they couldn't believe it was gonna be just like that, it all started after she accidentally insulted him, then they fell in heat, and now they're confessing their feelings?! but... then, they realized that there was simply no point in denying it anymore, they're madly in love with each other, and they don't want- no, need anything more in the world than each other's presence for the rest of their lifes. they gave each other a warm, kind smile, locking their gemstone gazes with each other. their hands raised to caresss each other's faces, tearing up as they were overwhelmed with emotions)
Bob: How much?
Melony: Until the end of time, and you?
Bob: I will lay down my life down for you, and beyond death even.
(The same heat from before came, their hearts thumped, but now they knew and understood exactly what they desired from each other, instead of acting in pure, primal instincts. their faces began closing in, their gemstone eyes reflecting on each others, turning into a gold sheen that made their gazes even more enticing. at mere centimeters away, they stopped, feeling each other's breaths. Melony exuded a sweet air, while Bob smelled of mint; now he damn washed his teeth)
Melony: Where we were at?
Bob: Hitting first base?
Melony: Bingo~
(They closed their eyes... and kissed. their lips locked in with each other, inseparable until they desired so, and they didn't want to ever do so. Melony's soft lips gently caressed Bob's scarred lips, but in spite of the stains of a harsh life, his lips were tender and too, gentle with hers. they were crying with joy, fully accepting of their feelings, and grateful towards each other for making everything so much better, so much meanigful, for making each other feel alive like never before. their hands began ruffling each others hairs, while also pushing their heads closer, pressing their lips harder, feeling their faces closer, with their big, beating chests in perfect harmony, like they were one. It felt like an eternity before their fire began desisting, very, very slowly separating from each other, leaving a trail of saliva from each other's mouths, their faces red, stares lost, and their hairs messy, although it was only noticeable on Melony)
Bob: Holy shit...
Melony: That was...
(Nothing else needed to be said)
...
(They gently hugged each other, their hearts still in sync, but now beating with slow serenity)
Bob: What do you want for lunch?
Melony: Whatever you want, my kiwi~
Bob: Goddamitnotthat- You mind Melove as a nickname?
Melony: I love it, as much as i love you.
Bob: I love you too, my sweet Melove.
(Bob and Melony begin walking out of the castle. without looking, their hands, the real one in Bob's case, reached for each other, and when they found each other, they gently caressed each other until they locked fingers, holding firm like welded iron, never to let go until forcefully separated)
What a crazy turn of events, don't you think?