Hi everyone! It's been a while (years) since I don't write any fanfiction but since I am committed to wlw ships that hardly become canon I couldn't help myself and fell in love with Rhaenicent. Sorry for the possible mistakes as English is not my first language. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing!
I do not own the story or characters, only the idea of the fic is mine.
- Alicent - Rhaenyra said her name out loud, slowly, as if that would make the silhouette of the woman in front of her disappear like in a dream.
- Rhaenyra - the brunette replied.
Seemed it wasn't a dream. Alicent Hightower was really there.
Rhaenyra examined her indiscreetly. She narrowed her eyes, as if she could guess what motivated the other woman to be standing there, on Dragonstone in the middle of the night. Alicent looked several years older than the last time she saw her, just a few weeks ago. The shadow below her brown eyes was darker, there was no sign of the big smile that had once illuminated her face and even her long curly hair was messier than ever under the blue hood she was wearing.
She wouldn't know if it was out of curiosity or fascination but she let her explain her plan, her offer, her desire.
- Come with me - she finally said, taking a step towards her, with her watered eyes begging.
Rhaenyra didn't answer immediately. She was so shocked that it was really happening she could barely believe her eyes and ears. Things had really changed for the other woman, eager to sacrifice so much in the name of peace, literal and metaphoric.
- No, Alicent. My part is here - Rhaenyra finally said when she got enough strength for the words to come out her mouth. You won't break my heart again, she would like to have said. Last time on the Baelor Sept had been hurtful enough. Enough to remind her the first time her heart was crushed and had never fully recovered.
...
- Lady Alicent, Princess - the guard on her door announced as many times before.
- I do not wish to see her. Please, tell her to go - the young Rhaenyra ordered. She wouldn't even care to make up an excuse, she didn't deserve it.
- She insists, your Grace - the guard came back a few seconds later with a clearly confused look on his face.
Rhaenyra rolled her eyes.
- I have said I do not wish to-
She hadn't even finished the sentence when half of a body dressed in green interposed herself on the door so the knight could not close it in her face again. The face belonging to that body appeared afterwards. The determination in her eyes made the guard doubt. He looked at the princess begging for instructions, as he was not going to bring down a 16 year old, daughter of the Hand and lady friend of the princess (even though it did not seem like so at that precise moment).
- Leave us alone - Rhaenyra finally sentenced, giving up. Alicent was so stubborn she would face the guard if she had to only to talk to her.
The brunette sighed in relief. That was the first step. When the guard closed the door behind him she took a deep breath and stepped in front of the silverhead young princess.
- Rhaenyra... - she started. She had been thinking about this speech for hours and now chosen words would not come out of her mouth.
- How could you? - Rhaenyra got ahead of her planned discussion raising her voice a little more every question - Marrying my father the King? Becoming Queen? What in the Seven Kingdoms were you thinking? Not in me, that is for sure...
Alicent stared at Rhaenyra. She looked small, much smaller than usual in a sad way. Her eyes were swollen as if she had been crying and her silver braid was not completely undone but it made clear she had not left the room in a while. When she looked back at her, her lips tensed and her eyes watered with both rage and deep sadness.
- Please, let me explain. I understand you are angry - Alicent tried to start again.
- Angry?! - the princess repeated with a tone that clearly confirmed that the adjective was accurate - I have just lost my mother! And now I lost my - she stopped. What was Alicent to her? Definitely not just a lady friend. A lover maybe, even though that word seemed so adult for her, she was begging to understand they had both recently entered adulthood together with its pros and cons. Alicent was the eyes that saw her as more than the princess heir to the throne, the ears that listened to her complaints, jokes, fantasy stories or anything she was willing to say. She was the hands that kept her together in the hard times and that caressed her skin softly causing butterflies on her stomach. Alicent was the lips that had stolen her first kiss not so long ago and that, before those horrible news about the marriage, she would have thought that they were destined to be her last. She was the woman Rhaenyra loved.
- Everything happened so quickly - the brunette explained, assuming she had to be more direct if she wanted to share her part. - I just wanted to help and suddenly... What is someone supposed to do when the King asks for her hand? Not that I had a say anyway... - she answered her own question with resignation.
- You should have declined - Rhaenyra answered anyway. Her face was serious but on the inside she knew that she was not right. She was also a woman and was very aware of how they were sometimes just merchandise to trade to the best offer.
- You know I could not - Alicent said, like reading her mind - But even though I could not I tried, I swear I tried Rhaenyra. - now her brown eyes were crystalline begging her to understand it. - But my father would not listen. The deal was already signed. I am to be the next wife to his Grace, the Queen Consort, the bearer of his children. - she said that with rage. Because she didn't want to, because it was scary, even gross to even think about it. All she wanted was to stay as it was, being with Rhaenyra from dawn to dusk, sharing smiles on the corridors, holding hands below the table, stealing kisses on hidden spots in the garden, discovering themselves, what they needed and desired between sheets. But all that happiness had come to its end. - I am sorry. I am so sorry.
Alicent stepped towards her, fainting a physical contact of any kind but a heartbroken Rhaenyra stepped backwards. It was too much. She understood and she would accept it given time but it was the end. She couldn't deal with the fact of being in love with the same woman her father was going to forcibly marry.
- I need to be alone - she stated coldly, moving further away from Alicent, who did not expect to not be able to even touch her in the end.
- Please Rhaenyra - the brunette begged - I love you. You know I do and this does not change that.
- It does and you know it as well as I do - she said calmly. It was not easy to say it out loud but it was the truth, they both knew it well.
The difference was Alicent had hoped for one last hug, one last kiss, to end things as they had been between them: warm, soft and full of love. Because she would always love her, no matter what happened. Only time would put that love to test. But Rhaenyra could not obviate the change of the situation. She was so hurt that a last hug or kiss would have crushed her and she knew that. She could not bear having her one more time only to let her go.
- Please Alicent, go - she turned so the other woman could not see her cry.
Alicent understood that she would not have the goodbye she wanted because that would hurt Rhaenyra even more and she accepted it. All she wanted was for her to be alright. She looked at her beloved princess once more and left the room with the same broken heart she left.
And Rhaenyra let her go. She didn't know it at the moment, but she would regret rejecting that last time for so many nights ahead.
...
And now there she was again, Alicent Hightower, 20 years later asking her to get away with her. So many tears, so many regrets, so many sleepless nights and now her so thought dream was a step and some words away.
- I can't, Alicent - she said before her heart talked faster than her mind. She had suffered so much, she had lost so much, to spoil everything in the name of a first love. - I am sorry. You have to go.
However, her heart was indeed faster than her mind and she took a step forward, standing just some inches away from the brunette. It was as if teenager Rhaenyra was suddenly in control. Alicent gasped with the sudden shortening of space between them and they stayed there, staring at each other for some minutes. The former Queen Consort and the Rightful Queen of the Seven Kingdoms.
- You have to go - the silverhead repeated, not moving an inch.
But Alicent was not going to give up that easily this time. She waited, patiently. When she was sure Rhaenyra was not going anywhere, she raised her hand to the other woman's cheek. Rhaenyra did not only not move, but closed her eyes and leaned to the soft caress against her skin. Last time had been so long ago...
Like if time had not passed and their bodies had memory, they took one step closer, their heads almost touching. They could feel each other's agitated breathing, not so different from when they were inexperienced nervous teenagers. They were not young anymore, but all that had happened between them all those years felt like chains for those hearts that were just a breath away from their first love.
- You know, during these years I often wondered what could have been if I had retained you the night your marriage with my father was announced. What would have happened if I had kissed you one last time - Rhaenyra confessed openly. It was really like if her teenage version was controlling her, but now that Alicent was so close, she couldn't help it. - Would have it avoided the pain? The people we have lost?
Alicent could not answer that question. She didn't know and sometimes she would ask herself the same question. What would have happened if she had been braver and had asked Rhaenyra to leave with her. Away from the court and its responsibilities to live the life they wanted. But they were so young and just did what was expected of them. To serve, to be strong, to unite the families. Even if family ended up being their doom.
- We can not know - she finally confirmed to let Rhaenyra know that she was listening and she understood. The same way she had understood a while ago that Rhaenyra wouldn't go with her. It was fair. She hadn't listened to her on the Sept, being so stubborn she could not admit that she had been wrong and putting an end to things before it was too late. But it was too late.
Nevertheless, there she was, so close to her that the other woman's heartbeat would resonate in her ears. She could not explain what could have happened if they had kissed that fatidic day but she could at least offer her that last kiss.
It happened quickly, but at the same time it seemed like the world had stopped around them and it was just the two of them in that dark hall. Alicent reached Rhaenyra's waist with the other hand and waited just one second to guarantee she would not back down. She didn't. With a fine movement she shortened the small space that remained between them and their lips finally touched. In response, Rhaenyra embraced the other woman strongly between her arms.
First it was a shock. 20 years had passed since the last time their mouths were one. Then their lips were adventurous, eager to taste the other in intimacy. This time their mouths weren't wide open, conscious that there would be no coming back if they opened that door. That kiss would be the one and only and however, they could not help but separate their lips slightly, enough to get to taste the other woman, to remember the freedom, the wildness, the youth. All those things left behind for a life of sacrifice.
They got linked by their mouths pushing hard on each other's body, and they stayed like that for a while, trying to abridge a lifetime of the love that could have been. At some point Alicent accidentally let out a soft moan and they knew they had to break it up. It was Alicent herself the one that stepped back first and Rhaenyra let her. It was the correct thing to do.
They stared at each other breathing heavily. They let themselves get lost for a moment in the eyes of the other woman, not wondering what could have been anymore, but savoring that last moment of peace. None of them was sure if they would see the other again or in what conditions, given the imminent war ahead of them.
Finally, when they knew it was time, no more words were needed, no tears were spread. They nodded, sealing an unspoken pact of timeless love and pain. Only they would ever know. History books would talk about the hatred and competitiveness between Rhaenyra Targaryen and Alicent Hightower, but they knew the reality and that was enough.
Alicent turned with her heart still pounding, and as quickly as she had come, got lost in the shadows of the forest hidden on her blue hood.
And Rhaenyra let her go, once again by her own choice. But this time at least she still could taste her on her lips.
This is it! Hope you have enjoyed it. All kinds of reviews with your opinions are more than welcome. Thanks for reading!