Chapter 14: Taboo to Love
Catherine sat at the dinner table as VJ talked to Evan about hockey practice. VJ was so excited to have chosen the left-wing position that Vincent helped him get a shot in the net.
Catherine smiled at VJ's excitement. The day went well Catherine had been a little nervous about how Vincent and VJ would interact but they both did fine. In fact, she felt like VJ took a liking to Vincent very quickly.
Catherine couldn't stop thinking about the moment she and Vincent had when she was on the swing. When he pulled her into his embrace even though it was only a few seconds she felt things she hadn't felt in a long time. The only comfort Vincent always gave was almost like butterflies and sunshine. It was familiar and everything she longed for. She wished so badly that it had lasted longer which concerned her more. She is married to Evan yet secretly longs for Vincent. She would be in trouble if she continued with this way of thinking.
"Catherine" Evan says waving his hand in her face. She had been daydreaming about that moment again. She had been doing a lot since she got home earlier.
"Are you okay Mom?" VJ asked scooping up some green beans and putting them in his mouth.
"yes sorry, I was thinking about something"
Evan raised a brow at her "You sure?"
Catherine nodded returning to her plate of roasted chicken and mashed potatoes with green beans that she cooked earlier.
She tried to concentrate on eating, but Evan changed the subject to Tess and Joe's wedding this weekend, which helped.
Tomorrow is when all her matron of honor / best friend duties kicked in. She and Heather had to get ready for the rehearsal dinner and the bachelorette party in the next few days. Catherine was so excited for her best friend.
Catherine and VJ did the dishes, she washed them while he dried them. VJ talked her ears off about school, sports, TV shows, movies, and whatever came to his mind. She listened smiling at her adorable son who reminded her so much of Vincent.
"Mom, do you remember that picture book we look at sometimes? The one with the photos in it?" VJ asks.
"Yeah, what about it?"
"Umm Vincents in them," he says curiously "You knew him when you were a kid like me"
"yes he was my very best friend" Catherine smiled.
VJ seemed to be in profound thought he got quiet after he asked that question which made Catherine wonder what was going on in that brain of his.
"You ok?" Catherine asked after several minutes of VJ being silent.
He nodded as he set the last dish in the rack and stepped down from the step stool he was standing on.
"Thank you for helping me," she said and planted a light kiss on his forehead.
"You're welcome," he said running off down the hallway and upstairs to his room. She already knew he was going to play his video game.
Catherine went to her room and changed out of her clothes and into her night clothes.
As she was walking out of her walk-in closet Evan walked into the room. He had been in his office answering emails and checking out sports news before he came up to talk to Catherine.
"Babe I have something important to ask you," Evan says. Catherine sat down on their bed giving him her undivided attention.
Evan came and sat beside her "I have been thinking a lot lately that maybe we should expand the family and have a baby"
Catherine nearly choked that was not what you expected to hear him say. It took her by surprise.
"A baby?" she questioned.
"Listen I love VJ like he is my own but we both know he is not and it's only a matter of time before we have to tell him Vincent is his biological father. I thought that you and I could have a baby of our own"
Catherine's heart rate was off the charts. She didn't know what to say. She was happy with the way things were she wasn't so sure she wanted to have a baby anytime soon.
Evan frowned seeing her expression didn't look so assuring. He didn't think she would be against the idea. Hearing VJ being so excited about spending time with Vincent he felt he would eventually be pushed out of the dad role unless he had a child of his own.
"Um, I don't know what to say" Catherine admitted.
"Do you not want to have any more kids?"
"I do... I just... I like our life right now everything is stable and going so well. If we have a baby we are going to need a bigger house and everything will change"
"Babe everything will still be stable and we don't need to get a bigger house I can give up my office for a nursery I don't mind. I will be right here by your side every step of the way you won't have to do a thing I will take care of everything"
Catherine laughed "You are going to carry and birth the baby then too"
"Well I can't do that" he laughed "But after you deliver I will do everything. What do you say?"
Evan grabbed her hands putting them up to his lips and kissing them with a smile. "Please"
Catherine nodded and finally said "ok"
Evan jumped up and did a silly dance making Catherine laugh.
Then pulled her up and into his arms kissing her passionately.
"I love you so much," he said in between kisses. They fell onto the bed making out for several minutes before Catherine had to end it to get VJ ready for bed.
After leaving her and Evan's bedroom she stopped near VJ's half-open bedroom door to catch her breath. She felt overwhelmed like she agreed to something she wasn't sure about. Why did she tell him yes when everything in her wasn't ready? This is bad this is really, really bad.
Catherine what are you doing? she said to herself.
She bowed her head in shame for a few seconds before shaking it off and getting VJ ready for his bath. She purposely took her time letting VJ stay in the bathtub longer than usual and then getting him dressed and reading him a long bedtime story. She wanted to avoid Evan for the rest of the night she hoped by the time she was finished with VJ he would have fallen asleep.
She sighed in relief when she returned to her room and saw her ploy had worked. He was knocked out sleep with a low snore. Catherine climbed into the bed next to him and stared at the wall for several hours her mind racing with thoughts till she eventually drifted off to sleep.
Catherine was awakened the next morning by Evan who had not forgotten their plan on making a baby. He was ready to start the process as soon as he woke up and looked over at his gorgeous wife.
Catherine felt his light kisses first before he added soft caresses. The kissing and caressing is what woke her up. She hadn't been in the mood but gave in again. Seemed like since Vincent woke from his coma her sex drive was almost non-existent. Anytime she and Evan were intimate it was because he initiated it and she gave in not wanting to cause any tension.
"Catherine, are we ok?" Evan asks. He laid beside her after they had just had sex only he felt like Catherine wasn't completely into it. He felt there was a disconnect between and it had been like that for weeks.
"Of course," Catherine says trying to sound sincere.
Evan frowned he didn't feel like she was being truthful. "Catherine you know you can tell me anything. If you are unhappy or something is bothering you I want you to tell me. I do not want you to hold it in and keep things from me"
Catherine nodded "I am fine, I've just been a little tired"
Even though that was a half-truth it wasn't a complete lie, she had been getting a lot less sleep lately her mind was always racing with thoughts and her emotions were always all over the place. One minute she would be sad, then she would feel shame and it would switch to guilt then she would find a way to be happy again. It's been like this every day over the past few months. Her emotions were just like a rollercoaster up and down.
Evan kissed her on her forehead before he wrapped his arms around her.
She melted into his embrace taking comfort in it before getting up and heading for the shower. After getting dressed she came down to an amazing breakfast prepared by Evan and VJ. Waffles and eggs and turkey bacon. She smiled they did a great job especially VJ he didn't get any eggshells in the eggs this time. Evan had been teaching him how to crack an egg with one hand he was almost there.
After breakfast, she took VJ over to her parents so she could meet up with Tess and Heather. Heather squealed with delight when she saw her nephew get out of the car.
"VJ!, Hey," she said hugging him.
"Auntie Heather did you miss me" he asked.
"Yes, of course I did and did you get taller since the last time I saw you?"
VJ looked down at himself "I don't think so".
Catherine laughed.
"You have gotten taller I can tell you going to be taller than me if you don't stop growing," Heather said tickling his sides.
"Grandma" VJ says taking off up the driveway of Catherine's childhood home. Catherine's mom was standing in the doorway waiting for VJ. She waved to them as she and Heather got into the car together.
"We have so much to do and so little time," Heather says as they drive off down the street.
Catherine and Heather went in so many stores looking for last-minute decor, table decorations, flowers, and vases. They had bags and bags of things to bring to the hotel where they rented out an event room.
Once Catherine and Heather arrived at the hotel Tess and a few of her brothers helped them bring everything in.
Once they got into the event room they found the anxious Tess giving orders to her brothers and the catering staff. Catherine could tell her friend was stressed.
"Thank god you guys are here" She a sigh of relief.
"I got everything under control, Tess you go with Cat and get ready, I will handle the rest," Heather says as she takes over and gives out orders to everyone.
"Tess you look gorgeous," Catherine says as she and Tess make their way to Tess's hotel room.
Tess had her makeup done professionally and her hair was done only her curls were pinned up till later.
"Thanks, you know I am not used to wearing makeup I have almost accidentally wiped it off several times since I've been here"
Catherine giggles "You have to stop touching your face"
"I can't help it. I seriously want to lay down and go to sleep I haven't had a good amount of sleep in days if this rehearsal dinner and wedding don't go as planned I am going to lose it," Tess says.
"Tess, Heather is very good at what she does trust her, my little sister will make sure everything will go as planned. Heather might be tiny but she knows how to get these events to go without a hitch"
"Fine," Tess says as she and Catherine get on to the elevator and go up to Tess's room.
"Catherine!" she hears someone shout just as she enters the hotel room behind Tess.
Catherine smiled at Tess's mom Mrs. Jeanette Vargas she squeezed her into a huge bear hug.
"I haven't seen you in so long little missy how are you?" Tess's mom reminded her so much of a young Aretha Franklin, she seem to not have aged since she met Tess back in middle school.
"I've been great how about you?" Catherine asks just as she feels little arms wrap around her legs. She looks down and sees Jia.
"Jia hi cute pie," Catherine says kneeling to pick her up. Jia warped her arms around Catherine's neck and hugged her again. Jia loved to hug people she was always grabbing someone and squeezing them. Catherine just loved her she was so adorable.
"Aww I love your pretty dress," Catherine says to Jia who had on a purple and white striped dress and a cute matching bow on her head. She looked so much like Tess especially her hair which was just as thick and curly as her mom's.
Mrs. Jeanette's phone started to ring and she walked off toward another room to answer. Catherine sat down on a nearby couch with Jia on her lap. Jia played quietly with Catherine's bracelets she discovered on her wrists.
"Jia needs a nap that's for sure," Tess says as she hands a bottle to Cat which Jia anxiously reaches for.
"Cat the makeup artist I hired is still here she can do yours next if you want," Tess says standing in the mirror holding up the dress she was going to wear for the rehearsal dinner in a few hours.
"Sure, I thought she was only doing makeup for just the wedding"
"Yeah well since she is my cousin she told me she would do the rehearsal dinner makeup too free of charge"
Catherine nodded looking down at Jia who was slowly falling asleep while drinking from her bottle.
"So Cat how did it go yesterday"
"What?" Cat says confused.
"Vincent and VJ hockey practice remember" Tess laughs.
Catherine smiled "It's your rehearsal day shouldn't we be focusing on you"
"Yes but since Heathers taken over I have nothing to do."
"Yesterday was good, everything went well. Vincent and VJ bonded over hockey of course and I think Vincent might be coaching for VJ's team.
"What no way. how did that happen?"
"Vincent and VJ's coach know each other from high school. They got to talking and he offered Vincent the assistant coach job"
"That's great Vincent will definitely do well"
"I said the same thing, Vincent loves hockey. I think it's perfect for him to teach"
"So what else happened because something is up with you," Tess asks.
Catherine sighed she hated that Tess could read her so well. "What do I have emotional mess written on my forehead"
"No you have the Catherine is going through something and it's showing on her face" Tess smirked.
Catherine sighed "Evan wants to have another baby and I told him yes even though I am not sure"
"Wait I thought you wanted more kids"
"I do I just ... I don't know I feel like the timing isn't great"
"It's cause of Vincent isn't it?"
"No ... I mean I don't think so"
Tess frowned. "what are you not telling me?"
"Vincent and I kind of had a moment yesterday"
Tess's mouth dropped. "In what way"
"Well he was pushing me on the swing and I accidentally told him I missed him and he pulled me in his arms and whispered it back"
"Oh my gosh, Cat you are in big trouble" Tess laughs.
"No, I am not it was just a moment it didn't mean anything"
"Is that what you are telling yourself? you are in total denial"
" I am not," Catherine says she felt guilt cover her whole body, her cheeks when bright red.
"Well what do you call it cause from where I sit you are in denial city" Tess chuckles.
Catherine frowns.
"Oh don't get all emotional, I was just teasing you," Tess says sitting next to Cat and carefully taking the sleeping Jia from her arms.
"Tess this is serious" Catherine was worried.
"I know, but seriously you are going to come to a point where you have to choose. I honestly think Evan is doing the whole baby thing now because he is afraid of losing you"
Catherine hadn't thought about it in that way.
"Whether you like it or not Evan is competing with Vincent. Even though Evan is married to you, you guys could divorce at any time and never see each other again, But with Vincent, it's forever because you have a child together. If you and Evan have a child together it will be somewhat on an even playing field."
Catherine took in what Tess was saying, it made sense now and Tess was right she was in big trouble. Eventually, she would have to choose and as of right now, she wasn't sure about either choice.
She loved Vincent and Evan both and for different reasons. Vincent and Catherine have a history, have been friends since childhood, experienced many ups and downs they experienced so many firsts together. First kiss, first relationship, first love, first everything. Then there is Evan a man who blindsided her by being by her side during the roughest time in her life. Lose of Vincent and the birth of their child he was there for her. He was part of the reason she was able to cope with everything that had happened. He was the reason that she had any strength to get up on days when she wanted to sit and wallow. He put a smile on her face on the days when no one else could he had been her rock and she was forever grateful for that. Which one did she love more or which one she loves best that was the question.
Catherine, Evan, and VJ met up with Catherine at the rehearsal dinner a few hours later. Evan picked up VJ after he got off work and when they both saw Catherine in her dress and makeup done by Tess's cousin they stared at her in awe.
"Mom you look pretty," VJ said as he grabbed her hand.
"Wow, you look stunning babe who did your makeup?" Evan asked.
"Tess's cousin you like?" she smiled
"Yes you look so beautiful wow" Evan always thought Catherine with beautiful but tonight she looked incredible.
Catherine wore light makeup most days but Tess's cousin made her look like a movie star. She was shocked when she looked in the mirror after she finished she hardly recognized herself. So she wasn't surprised by VJ and Evans's reaction.
Catherine walked with Evan and VJ over to their assigned seats. The rehearsal dinner was wonderful everything went as planned. I practiced for the wedding day, how a great meal that was made by both Tess and Evan's grandmothers who made some of the best southern food Catherine ever tasted. After having a few drinks with Heather, Tess, and some of the other bridesmaids she went home and got ready for the big day. The wedding was tomorrow and she was so excited, ready to watch her best friend leap and into martial bliss.
Vincent will be coming to Tess's wedding as well, she wasn't sure if Vincent was bringing JT but she looked forward to seeing him as usual. She always got butterflies in her stomach whenever she knew she was going to see Vincent. It reminded her of when she was a teenager with her puppy love crush she had on Vincent in middle school before they could officially date. Catherine's parents said no dating till you are sixteen. Being thirteen with a crush on one of the cutest boys in school and not being able to date him was awful but she was lucky that Vincent liked her back and would wait till he could date her and only her.
Catherine thought about what Tess said earlier that she would eventually have to choose. The whole thing scared her because she didn't want to give up either of them. This was one of those times when she wanted to have her cake and eat it too.