Summary: With the Shogun away, the Fox will play.
The day had finally arrived. The Shin Narukami-sai or the "New Narukami Festival" was now in full swing and Inazuma City was packed with festival-goers. Stalls lined every street and alley with vendors hawking their ware or enticing the occasional naïve foreigner into their dubious festival games. Mouth-watering smells wafted through the air, drawing huge crowds around the various food stalls. The city itself could be considered a work of art as light and music flooded the streets, only barely being drowned out by the din of a myriad of voices.
All of this went ignored however, as Aether found himself being dragged along by Ei, his hand firmly clasped in hers. Now normally he'd be more than happy to appreciate the sinful act of premarital hand-holding, especially with a woman as beautiful as Ei. Unfortunately, you see, two additional women were currently sidled up to them. Two very, very angry women. And angry women tended to be very distracting.
Aether tried his best to ignore the glares from the two hanger-ons as Ei glanced back at him with an apologetic smile.
'How did this even happen?' the blond marveled.
The day prior…
After placating the amorous Electro god with a promise of a date at the upcoming festival, Aether hastily beat an embarrassed retreat back to the foreign delegation with Paimon teasing him the entire way.
There had been hell to pay when the duo finally got back. Keqing had forced them to sit in seiza as she berated them for their habit of wandering off while the rest of the party watched on in amusement.
Thankfully after several minutes of this, Miko had decided the two had learned their lesson and urged the procession back towards Tenshukaku for some rest after a long and rather chaotic day.
"The festivities will begin tomorrow evening," the fledgling Archon said. "Be sure to get a good night's rest, all of you."
"By your leave." And with that the party had dispersed to their various guest chambers. All except…
"By the way, little one," Miko called out as Aether and Paimon made to return to their room.
"Hoo, boy…" Paimon muttered. The duo watched warily as the woman sashayed her way towards them looking every bit like a fox stalking a cornered rabbit.
"Oh, don't look so put out," the kitsune tittered. "I just wanted to talk."
"If such is your wish, then so it shall be, heika," Aether quipped before quickly raising his hands in surrender as the taller woman sent him an unamused glare. "Sorry, sorry. What did you want to talk about?"
"Let's not be coy now," Miko said. "You seemed awfully distracted today, little one."
"You're hardly one to talk about being coy, Miko," the blond replied, eyeing her warily.
"I simply have no idea what you mean," the fox cooed as she began to slowly circle them. "You're deflecting."
"We simply have no idea what you mean," Paimon parroted mockingly only to squeak and hide behind her companion upon seeing Miko's gaze fall upon her.
"Not even your little paramour at Uyuu Restaurant?" the woman asked.
"A stranger," Aether lied smoothly. "Paimon wanted to mooch off of her tri-color dango."
"Hey!" the fairy cried indignantly.
"A stranger?" Miko's voice whispered into his ear, her hair gently brushing against his face and causing him to shiver. "I think Ei would be quite upset to hear that from you." Aether's eyes widened for just a moment but that moment was all the sly fox needed to have her claim validated.
"I knew it."
"Now, Miko," the Traveler said, nervously backing away as the kitsune stalked towards him.
"H-How did she know?!" Paimon stammered as Aether felt his back touch the wall. He felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end as Miko threw her hand onto the wall next to his head in a classic kabedon and leaned in toward him. With her other hand she lifted his chin to look into his eyes.
"Won't you take me to her, my dear tabibito?" she cooed, her eyes gleaming.
Aether, Paimon and Miko appeared within his inner realm in a flash of golden light. The pink-haired woman looked around intrigued.
"A realm hidden within a teapot," Miko mused. "How interesting. Maybe I could use this concept in a light novel…" Despite her musings, the woman wasted no time in gesturing towards the door. With a sigh, the Traveler strode forward and threw the door open.
What greeted them was something Aether would come to desperately want to forget.
"Okay, now you just take his right hand in your left and put your right hand on his waist…"
"Like this?"
"I said his waist, not his ass."
"I don't understand."
"Please remove your hand from my posterior, Beelzebul."
The trio watched as Ei removed her hand from Zhongli's behind and resumed a proper waltzing pose. This in and of itself would not be so strange if their roles weren't reversed. And not just in terms of posture.
Ei was currently dressed in a very dapper suit while Zhongli was currently wearing a blond wig braided in a way reminiscent to his own as well as a very revealing dress with both a boob and booty window. Aether internally screamed upon seeing this, desperately willing his brain to bleach itself.
"What are you doing?" Paimon asked, her voice deadpan.
"Ah, you're back!" Venti said cheerfully.
"That doesn't answer the question," the fairy growled. "This is your doing, Tone-Deaf Bard. Paimon knows it!"
"Ah, yes," Zhongli said, nodding to himself. "Beelzebul informed us of your upcoming date. Congratulations, by the way."
"This still doesn't tell us anything." Aether sighed, feeling a headache starting to come on.
"We're practicing!" Venti said, as though that explained everything. "Any courtship worth its salt will inevitably involve song and dance!"
"And the dress?" the blond gestured to the scantily clad Zhongli.
"That was Beelzebul's request."
"It was my request." Ei nodded sagely.
"Denied!" Aether roared, tearing the wig off Zhongli's head. He ignited it with a spark of Electro, reducing it to ashes.
"My baby!" Venti cried, desperately gathering the ashes as though he could will them to reform.
"So it's yours?" Paimon asked, cocking her head questioningly. "What do you do with it?"
"You don't wanna know." The three Archons said simultaneously. Aether's eye twitched furiously.
"And that's surprisingly skimpy, Zhongli," Paimon noted, turning towards the Geo Archon. "Paimon is surprised you're willingly wearing it."
"I have taken many forms and worn many clothes, Paimon," Zhongli said, waving his hand over his form causing his usual outfit to materialize onto his body. Beside him, Ei did likewise.
"Oh, that's right!" the fairy exclaimed. "You Archons can change form!"
"Paimon!" Aether hissed, glancing behind them towards… the absent Miko. Where had she gone?!
"Indeed!" Venti cackled. "Though I do admit a certain fondness for this form. I've taken my fair share of feminine roles."
"Really?"
"Elemental deities are technically genderless," Zhongli explained. "Our mortal guises are just that: guises. Male or female, it matters not. For example…"
The trio, now a duo of Aether and Paimon watched as Zhongli's form began glowing with condensed Geo energy. After a few moments, the yellow light subsided and a woman bearing a resemblance to the man stood before them.
"This is a form I took several centuries ago," the now female Zhongli continued. "A clan of migratory warrior women came to temporarily settle in Liyue. They were a matriarchal people with a strong distrust of men, and thus taking on a female form was necessary for gaining their trust."
"What did they come to Liyue for?" Paimon questioned and Aether had to admit he was also curious.
"Their chieftain, Koron, was seeking a groom for her granddaughter, Shanpu." He explained. "A great many things happened, but eventually they found an ideal candidate in a young man named Ruan Ma. Unfortunately, the young man was not enthused about being forcibly engaged and fled across the sea. I believe Inazuma was his destination if I'm not mistaken. Needless to say, they chased after him."
"This story sounds very familiar…" Aether mumbled. A flash of teal light drew their attention and the group turned to see a young girl appear in a swirl of Anemo.
"Hiiiii~" the now female Venti cooed.
"Please never say that again," Aether deadpanned. Venti pouted before throwing herself onto him, crocodile tears brimming in her eyes.
"Waaah! The Traveler hates me!" The girl sniffled. "B-But whoever will I give my Windblume to now?!"
"Easy Tone-Deaf Bard," Paimon grunted, tugging on the Archon's braids. "Honestly, you barely changed."
"How rude!" Venti cried indignantly. "You can tell the difference, right, my beloved Traveler?"
"...It's subtle," Aether admitted as he felt certain soft objects being pressed against him. "Very subtle."
"I suggest you cease your current actions," Zhongli warned. "Lest you draw Beelzebul's wrath."
"Not the booba-blade!" Venti mock cried, turning toward… nothing?
"Ei?" Paimon questioned. "Where did she go? And another thing… Where is Miko?!"
"Oh gods." Aether muttered. Zhongli and Venti merely gazed at them curiously.
On the other side of the manor, Raiden Ei currently sat in seiza. Her skin was pale and her hands clammy as sweat began pouring down her face. Before her stood her former familiar, now the Archon of Inazuma. Divine might seemed to radiate from Miko as she smiled her fake smile. Ei had known her long enough to know better. Her eyes told the true story.
Death.
"Why, it's been a while Ei!" Miko giggled fictitiously. "Tell me, how long has it been since you dumped your crappy job on me and ran off with your boyfriend?"
"M-Miko, please calm down…"
"Oh, I am calm," the kitsune laughed. Ei shuddered. It was the most evil laugh she'd ever heard. "Or I will be. You'll be paying me back with a little entertainment. You and Morax and Barbatos."
Ei could only look on in fear as Miko cackled maliciously.
A/N: Hey all, I'm back for now. As usual, no excuses for the lack of updates other than laziness with a dash of writer's block. It's been a while, huh? I'd like to spend a bit of time in Inazuma, but there's a lot that needs to be caught up on. We need to swing by Sumeru and pick up our resident cabbage and then head over to Fontaine for our darling little actress.
And then Natlan comes out sooner or later. Though I'll admit I'm not as excited about it as I was for any of the other regions. All the controversy around it has kinda knocked the wind out of my sails.
Anyway, I hope you've all been well and been lucky on your rolls!
I'm waiting on Mavuika. She's gorgeous.
Published: July 18, 2024
Updated: July 18, 2024