WINTER'S REFUGE

by Kattayl

Every author writes a Curry and Heyes prison story. This is mine.

33. Winter's Refuge Chapter 33

Winter's Refuge

Chapter Thirty-Three

HEYES

Chrissy felt the threat from the workers, too. One of them tried to talk to her when she was milking her cow. The Kid was there in an instant, but Chrissy screamed and ran into her room. Chrissy is afraid of most men. I don't remember why. She thought he was going to hurt her. Maybe he was. We have to be watchful, careful of her. There are people who might try and kill her for the money.

I left the Kid talking to the worker and went to my room. Chrissy's door was open, and she was sitting in her chair staring at the wall. I watched her for a moment, but she didn't move, didn't see that I was there. And then I saw it. My holster and gun were hanging on her headboard. Just like I used to do when we were going for amnesty. I was drawn to the gun. I walked closer just to look at it. I might need more than a knife to defend us if someone tries to get the bounty on Chrissy. The familiarity of my gun made me feel braver. I need to check to make sure it is loaded. If there's an emergency and I need it, I must know if it's loaded. How else can I protect Chrissy and help the Kid? I slipped my gun out of its holster and cradled it in my hand. Some of my fear left me. I could feel the gun's confidence run through me.

"AHHHHH!" Chrissy was standing, looking at me with my gun, screaming. "AHHHHHHHHH!" she screamed again, her eyes fixated on the gun. "NO! JED!"

The Kid was at her door in a second and I realized what I had done. I dropped my gun on her bed. I folded my hands in front of me and looked down. What had I done? What was I thinking? I had scared Chrissy, the one I wanted to protect. And I violated the conditions of my parole.

"Heyes, go to your room, stand lookin' at the blank wall, and stay there!" The Kid was mad. He didn't even look at me. It was the punishment my mom would give to me when she needed to think of a more appropriate one. The Kid was focused on Chrissy, crumbled in the corner, staring into the room at nothing.

I stood looking at the wall for a long time. I messed it all up. I will be sent back to prison. And it's my fault. I wonder if I can take some of the books back with me. I was just getting used to them being in the living room where all of us can read them.

I can't hear words, but I hear the Kid's voice comforting her. It's been a long time. I wonder when they'll come get me and take me to prison.

JED 'KID' CURRY

I can't believe it! After all the progress Heyes has made in the last six weeks, he picked up his gun. He broke that condition of his parole. And he frightened Chrissy. I can imagine what she thought was happening, a man in her room with a gun. She's already scared of the workers here. I approached her slowly, but she cowered away from me.

"Chrissy, Chrissy, you're okay. No one's goin' to hurt you. That was Heyes. He wouldn't hurt you."

Finally, she stood up, leanin' on me. She looked me in the face, studyin' me carefully. "Jed always come!" she said as she fell into my chest cryin'.

ASJ*****ASJ

It took hours to get Chrissy settled and restin', readin' Black Beauty. Hours I had used to think about Heyes. I didn't want him to go back to prison. No one but the three of us knows.

"Heyes, you are confined to this room," I told him as I marched into his room bringin' a chamber pot. "You will not leave this room for any…ANY reason until I tell you. Do you understand?"

He looked down then forced his eyes up to look at me. I saw the shame…and the fear.

"Do you understand?"

"Yes." His voice was tiny and soft.

"Think about what you did. Think about what you might have lost." I tried not to let anger dominate my voice. But he needed to understand the severity of what he did.

I took one of the two lights out of his room. His room might be darker at night now, but he still has one light.

I brought him all the unmatched paperwork from the table and left him locked in there for four days. Once a day I unlocked the door, left his food on his dresser, and changed his chamber pot for a new one. I brought him two pitchers of fresh water and relocked his door. I refused to look at him or speak to him. It was finally Chrissy that unlocked his door and left it open.

He still stayed in the room even when it was unlocked. He came out after dinner when Chrissy was readin' in the living room, and I was at the table workin' on designs for new hook and latches for Sheriff Birde's windows.

"Talk," Heyes said clearly. The new word was welcome. My anger had changed to disappointment. I wasn't sure how to handle this.

I joined Chrissy in the living room and Heyes followed me in. "So..sorry, Chris…s…sy," he said to Chrissy. He wrote on his chalkboard. "I never wanted to scare you. Wanted to protect you."

She stopped readin', lookin' at the chalkboard, but not at him. He'd said her name. He must have been workin' on it these last days. Usually, I make a big deal when he learns a new word, this time I ignored it.

Heyes turned to me with shame on his face. I know mine showed disappointment. "You tried so hard. I failed," he wrote on his board.

"No, I failed. I shouldn't have let Chrissy keep the gun there."

Chrissy looked up. "No! Chrissy needs gun!"

We both looked at her. She had said little since the incident with Heyes. Now she was fully engaged in our conversation, but the 'I' had changed back to Chrissy. "Heyes needs gun, too."

"Are you scared of all of the workers, Chrissy?"

"Chrissy, darling," she corrected me before she stopped and thought. "Not scared of all of the workers, just one."

I went and knelt in front of her. Movin' the book off her lap, I took her hands in mine. "Who are you afraid of?"

Cautiously, she looked around the room. "Tall, beard, lazy."

Heyes was standin' right next to us. "Name?" he wrote.

Chrissy thought hard. "Wild, dark hair," she added. "No name…hey you."

I thought I had met all of the men workin' here but this one wasn't familiar. But I'd been busy helpin' with the horses since Heyes wasn't available. I looked at Heyes; he shrugged his shoulders. Of course, he had been locked in his room and wouldn't have seen any new workers.

"Chrissy, me and Heyes will look the men over tomorrow mornin'. We'll let the one that's scarin' you go."

"Good!"

ASJ*****ASJ

As we left for Bridgeport and Cheyenne, I was worried about so many things, it was hard to maintain my calm. But I did. Heyes had found the new worker that scared Chrissy in our kitchen lookin' in the cupboard. He said he was hungry. I gave him an apple and fired him. This worked out well; he didn't know Chrissy was involved. His anger and mumbles were aimed at me and Heyes as I escorted him off the property. His name was Jeremy, and no one knew his last name or anything about him. He had just showed up one day to work. He figured out how to open our gate quietly. I need to fix that. I thought Russell had hired Jeremy. He thought I did. On the train to Cheyenne, I thought about Heyes and the gun. I hadn't reported it as I should of. Not even to Lom and the guilt made me sick to my stomach. I'd vowed as his parole officer to report everything. I didn't.

LOM

I met the Kid and Heyes at the train. Although they said all the right words, something was wrong. Heyes was nervous and jumpy, but he always was. This time it was more intense. The Kid appeared calm, but I know him well. His was a controlled calm. Worry started to creep into my thoughts.

"I got us rooms. Let's drop off your things and get over there. We don't want to be late."

Heyes still walked behind the Kid, so I stepped up and walked next to the Kid. Heyes fell further behind.

"Everything alright, Kid?" I asked as we started climbing the stairs to our rooms.

"Fine."

ASJ*****ASJ

We knew what to expect from these meetings as this was our second one, our second of six. Heyes stood in the middle with the Kid and me on each side. The governor led the meeting. He had appointed a new warden only three months ago. The previous warden had been fair although tough and was now a member of the governor's staff in Cheyenne overseeing all Wyoming Territorial prisons. This new warden had the reputation of believing brutality reformed prisoners. I was glad Heyes was almost done with his prison time when he took over. Even though he was an appointee, he and the governor didn't seem to agree on much. I wondered what kind of political maneuver had resulted in his appointment.

"Welcome gentlemen. Since we have heard nothing from you, we are assuming that everything went well this past month. I've heard the weather has started to turn as cold in Nebraska as it is here in Wyoming."

I smiled but the worry that something was wrong was growing.

"Sheriff Trevors, Mr. Curry, you may sit down. Mr. Heyes, how have things been going this last month?" The governor's voice was kind, but neither he nor I was prepared for what Heyes said and wrote next.

He looked down, then raised his eyes to the group of serious men before him. "I…I bro…ke," he faltered and switched to writing. "I broke a condition of my parole. I picked up my gun."

I listened to him but was thinking of the ramifications. Heyes going back to prison was number one. Without a deal to work towards, he would fall into depression. I thought of arguments I could use with the governor to get him a new deal. It wouldn't be as good as this one, but maybe I could offer him some hope. The other ramification was the Kid had lied, well, lied by omission. He didn't report Heyes' incident, even to me. I heard Heyes explain the punishment the Kid had administered. But my mind went back to the Kid…and me. We were sworn in as Heyes' parole officers, although he lived with the Kid. Fear gripped me. One or both of them were going to be in the Wyoming Territorial Prison by the end of the day. And maybe I would be joining them.

When Heyes finished speaking and writing, he stood in front of the men. He didn't look down but right at them. It took courage to admit what he did.

"Gentlemen, I think we need to discuss this matter among ourselves," the governor spoke with authority, stood and walked to the private office in the front of the room. The other men followed him out with glares at the three of us.

The Kid stood and poured us each a glass of water. We drank in silence. Heyes refused to look at me, either of us. The Kid stared out the window in the direction of the prison. It seemed an eternity before the parole board emerged. We heard raised angry voices. I didn't know if that was a good or bad omen.

HEYES

I couldn't look at the Kid or Lom. I had disappointed them, failed them. I could see the weight of what I did sitting in the Kid's thoughts. I told the truth. It was very hard, but I don't want to build a new life on a lie. Finally, the governor's aide led the men back into the meeting room. I only saw angry faces getting settled into their chairs.

"Sheriff Trevors, please stand in front of the board," the governor spoke, but the warden looked like he wanted to be the one leading this meeting.

Lom glanced at me as he walked to stand in the middle of the table. All those men with serious faces made me want to run the other way.

The governor let Lom stand there for a moment before he spoke. "Sheriff Trevors, are we to understand that you knew nothing of this infraction?"

"I did not." Lom's words were strong but tinged with sadness. The Kid hadn't told anyone, leaving the decision to be honest to me.

"There will be no prison time or punishment as you did not violate the law by not reporting Heyes' behavior."

I listened carefully and panic filled me. The Kid had violated the law by not reporting me. What had I done?

"Mr. Hannibal Heyes, please stand before the board." My legs were trembling. I took my last breaths as a free man, but I stood up straight and faced them.

"Mr. Heyes, it took courage for you to admit what you had done. You understand that you violated your parole conditions and took responsibility for it. The board has agreed that shows your progress and rehabilitation. At this time, we have voted to continue your parole, adding two months."

I wasn't sure I heard right. I wasn't going back to prison? I could go back to the ranch with the Kid. My face must have looked confused because the governor asked, "Do you understand, Mr. Heyes?"

"Yes. Thank…s."

I didn't like the looks I saw on the board, especially the warden. He looked pleased about something. He was smirking.

"Mr. Jedediah Curry, please stand before the board." The Kid stood straight and looked directly at each man.

"You are aware that you have broken the law in not reporting Mr. Heyes to the board, or even to Sheriff Trevors?"

"I am. I take full responsibility."

"It is the opinion of this board that if you had reported it, and the punishment you gave Mr. Heyes, that we would have considered that sufficient with an extension of his parole."

From the back, the Kid did not move. I was scared for him.

The governor continued speaking, "We have voted to give you a choice. One: you can renounce your position as parole officer and turn over full responsibility to Sheriff Trevors, if he is willing to take it. Mr. Heyes could not live with you. There is a boarding house for paroles near Porterville he will be transferred to. He would need to find a job and support himself. You can visit him once a month for a few hours. Or the second option." The governor stared at the warden and two of the other members of the board. "This option means he can continue to live with and work for you at your ranch. I do think you are good for him, but you have broken the law and we need to ensure you understand the seriousness of this. We had the ability to sentence you, and Sheriff Trevors, to prison for up to two years. Some of our board members were in favor of this."

I was scared. How was I going to live somewhere else, get a job, when I can't get my words out?

"Mr. Curry, your second option is to be incarcerated in the Wyoming Territorial Prison for one night. If you choose this option, you would be placed in shackles immediately and taken to the prison. You will become a full prisoner. For breaking the law, you will receive seven lashes. That is a compromise number," he added, giving the warden a bothered look. "No medical attention will be allowed as you will then spend the night in the dark cell. You will be released before noon tomorrow with your pardon and amnesty still valid."

"No!" I screamed. I felt Lom's hand on my arm, restraining me. The Kid can't go to that place. He said it would swallow him up and it will. Once that warden gets a hold of him, he'll never get out. But the Kid didn't hesitate. "Option two, sir. I don't know if Heyes would make it livin' anywhere but the ranch."

The governor looked sad but proud. "I thought you might choose that option. You never do things the easy way. You do them the right way. My aide will be traveling with you and will witness your indoctrination and the lashes, and report back to me." He emphasized the last words while staring at the warden.

Two guards appeared with shackles.

"Mr. Curry," started the governor.

"Convict Curry," corrected the warden.

Ignoring the interruption, the governor continued, "Sit down and take off your boots. Leave them with your friends. We've had multiple complaints of boots disappearing during a convict's sentence." He looked sideways at the warden.

I watched the Kid sit down. I never realized how stoic he was. His face showed no emotion. He stood and brought the boots to the table near Lom. He picked up a glass and waved it toward the governor.

"Drink all the water you want, then empty your pockets and give the contents to your friends to hold for you." I heard the sadness in the governor's voice, but something else there too, respect.

The guards fastened the shackles around the Kid's ankles as he put his money on the table. "Heyes," he said. "Look at me."

I looked up. I expected those blue eyes of his to be filled with wrath. But they weren't. He put a hand on each of my shoulders and looked in my eyes. "Cousin, I am so proud of what you did today. So proud." He looked quickly at Lom saying, "Horse, no buggy."

"Quiet, convict!" The guard's pulled him around and put the shackles around his wrists.

I watched him be escorted from the room and saw a black prison wagon outside. He turned around just before he stepped up into the wagon. The shackles didn't weigh him down, didn't change his walk. He held his head high, his shoulders back. And then he was swallowed up into the black wagon that started to the prison.

JED 'KID' CURRY

When I heard the options, I really had no choice. Heyes wouldn't make it back into society in Porterville. He was making progress here, slow, but progress. Today showed me how much progress he had made. I'm goin' to make sure he has every chance to earn his amnesty, even if I have to go to prison for a night.

I wanted to resist when the shackles hit my ankles, but I won't give them that satisfaction. I spent six months learnin' to walk normally wearin' shackles and it comes back to me. I even walk up the steps into the wagon as if I weren't wearin' them. It's one way I quietly resist the system. The governor's aide, Colin, follows me into the back of the wagon. He hasn't acknowledged he knows me, and I ignore him. I need to gather my strength for the day and night ahead.

"Look down, convict. You never look a guard in the eyes." The guard's voice is sarcastic. I lower my eyes. "What do you say, convict?" I felt the billy club hit my arm.

"Yes," I answered. I could not get the sir out, but knew I needed to for the next day.

The billy club hit harder. I refused to let him know it hurt. "Yes, sir." I restrained myself from spittin' the word out. Why make trouble for myself? There was a small high window, and I watched the top of the trees go by. I turned away before I knew there was a view of the prison. An uncontrolled shudder went through my body and the guard snarled a smile at me. This time those doors were going to open and devour me. I hoped I was strong enough to walk out of here tomorrow.

We arrived before the warden returned, but they knew what to do. I garnered my will and walked through the doors without hesitation. I was taken to the intake room and made to strip for my shower. The water was cold, the pressure so hard it stung, but I didn't let anyone see. I was forced into a chair and my arms shackled to the armrest.

"Can't keep those curls in here, Curry," laughed one of the guards. I could feel the dull razor scraping the hair off of my head. The trustee with the razor didn't care about being gentle, just quick. But the scar on the back of my head made him stop and stare. "Bet that hurt," he said, but I knew better than to answer. Still, I felt the thick, healed skin of the scar resist the dull razor and blood run down the back of my neck. I didn't move. Then the razor hit the new healin' skin on my temple. I flinched and moved away as blood flowed from the reopened wound.

"Sit still, convict!" The guard had his billy club ready but stopped when he saw the blood.

"Get the doctor," he told the trustee. "Need that stitched before the lashes open his back." There was no concern in his voice, only disdain. The trustee ran out the door and returned with Dr. Arden. At a questionin" look from the guard, he explained, "Can't find the regular doc."

"Stitch him up, Doc. Can't have him bleeding like that for his intake picture."

Dr. Arden caught my eye and I saw the helpless sympathy on his face. He cleaned the wound gently.

"Hurry up, we ain't got all day."

Dr. Arden took his time anyway. I think he rubbed somethin' on it to kill the pain. Still, I felt each stitch pull my wounded skin together.

"That'll do, Doc," the guard said as he unshackled my arms from the chair. "Get dressed. No need to put on the top."

I saw the prison uniform on a stool and the familiar soft prison shoes like the ones Dr. Arden had given me earlier.

"What do you say, convict?" This time the guard's billy club hit the back of my naked leg. I stood strong against the blow and said nothing.

The club hit the back of my other leg across the still healing bruise from the barnraisin.' "I said, what do you say, convict?"

"Yes…sir."

I felt Dr. Arden's horror as I was led outside. Colin was there waitin' on the side. I took a deep breath, tryin' to reach all my strength and fortitude to get through this. I looked up at the wooden structure in front of me. I knew exactly what was going to happen. My wrists were tied, and my arms pulled out and up until I was balancin' on my toes. Already the almost healin' burns on my shoulder were stretched and on fire. I fought to not let the pain show. Seven lashes. I could stand seven lashes. I chose this. By tomorrow the pain will start to ease.

Hung there until the warden finally appeared. He took his time and my arms and shoulders felt like they were goin' to fall off by the time he arrived. He gave me the lashin' himself with a cat-o'nine tails. I felt each knot on the whip tear open my back with each stroke. I counted. After the seventh, I let myself relax when another lash struck aimed at the healing scar on m shoulder drew a gasp from me. I felt it tear open.

"That was eight!" I heard Colin's objection.

"Two extra for failing to say 'sir' to the guards." The warden snickered as I felt the whip again hit high on my back and across my shoulder.

"Wash off his back," the warden almost laughed.

The guard picked up a nearby bucket and I steeled myself for the salt water I knew was in there to hit me. The salt in the lacerations burned and I tried to steady myself not to cry out. I tried to stand up even straighter. I pulled my achin' shoulders back and held my head high. A guard threw a shirt at me, and I slipped it over my head. It immediately stuck to the lacerations. Colin walked forward with a ladle of water, and I drank it thirstily. He gave me a second and I tried to thank him with my eyes. I remembered the poisoned water and food left in Chrissy's dark cell. Colin was there, too. He remembered and was tryin" to warn me.

After three ladles, the guard slapped the shackles back on my ankles and pulled my hands in front of me and restrained them in their shackles.

"Convict, follow me."

I fell in step in back of the guard, ignorin' Colin's eyes. The guard stopped as we passed the warden.

"See you in the morning, CONVICT Curry," he laughed. When we continued on, I heard him add to Colin, "If he survives the night."

HEYES

I turned to Lom in a panic as I watched the Kid disappear into the prison wagon. My legs had been trembling, now my whole body shook. Not even my simple words could be forced out. I felt Lom's arm around me, guiding my steps. The governor stopped us.

"It was a very brave thing you did, Mr. Heyes. I knew Mr. Curry would take that option. I'm pulling for him."

I just stared at the man in front of me that had sentenced my cousin to prison, even for one day and night. A man could die in there quickly. The Kid will die in there.

The governor had been staring at me. "Mr. Curry is a strong man both physically and mentally. He'll be injured, that can't be helped, but I sent Colin to the prison with him to help him any way he can."

I looked at this man talking politely to me. The Kid was very strong willed. Always had been. When he stood with the shackles on, he actually looked taller, stronger and more menacing. But I had no words to answer the governor.

"Thank you, sir. We know you did what you could," Lom answered while inching me toward the door.

"Be at the prison by ten. I will already be there, and I'll see what I can do to get him released then. He's in the dark cell tonight. I fear the guards and the warden more than his fellow prisoners. Even they can't reach him there. And we, you and I, will be there when the cell door opens."

My body shuddered at the thought of the dark cell and the horrors it contained. That place had replaced my words with fears, stolen my mind, and almost my life. And now it had the Kid.

"I need to get him to the hotel, sir," I heard Lom say, but I don't remember anything else until I opened my eyes in our room in late afternoon. Lom was pacing. There was nothing else we could do but wait.

"Time?" I wrote on my chalkboard and showed it to him.

"About four."

I erased my board. I was crying. I couldn't help it. I did this to the Kid. And he said he was proud of me for doing it. His eyes showed that pride. He has the Curry blue eyes, his pa's eyes and my ma's eyes. Today they had the same look as when she had told me she was proud of me when I won the arithmetic award at school. He was proud of me for sending him to prison. "Kid probably already in dark cell. I put him there," I wrote.

"No Heyes, it was his choice; a brave decision, but his, not yours." Lom looked at me, wiping my tears away. I don't think he knew what to say. "Heyes, eat something." Lom pointed to the sandwiches and fruit on the table. There was also a bottle of whiskey. I picked it up and put it back down. The Kid told me he was waiting until we could drink together. I'd wait too. I know that Dr. Arden sometimes put whiskey in my tea to calm me down. But not today. I need to worry today. Worry about the Kid. Why did he take this option? I would have gone to the other place. Maybe Lom would have helped me find a job I could do. But my thoughts wander and I get caught up in them, and forget what I'm doing. What kind of job wants an employee like that?

To make Lom happy, I picked up an apple and took a bite. It reminded me of the Kid. He craves fruit since he was in prison. But he's in prison again…and I put him there.

Lom hands me my chalkboard. "Talk to me, Heyes."

I push it away and put the apple down on the table. My legs won't hold me to pace like Lom's doing. I don't know what to do. I'm lost.

A knock on the door startles me. I try to stand, but my legs collapse me back into the chair. Who would knock on our door? I wish I had a gun to protect us. Kid's gun is sitting on the table where Lom left it. No, I won't touch it. Won't even think about touching it. All this happening to the Kid is because I touched my gun.

Somewhere in the distance I hear Lom say, "Dr. Arden, come in." If he's here, maybe he's going to tell us something happened to the Kid. If he dies in there, I killed him. How could I kill my partner, my cousin, my best friend?

"HEYES!" I hear Lom's voice in my thoughts and turn to him. "Say hello to Dr. Arden."

Hello is one of my new words. It sounds better than hi. But I can't say either one now. I need the Kid's strength to help me use my words.

Dr. Arden is talking to both me and Lom. "I just came to tell you that he's safely in the dark cell."

I looked at him in alarm.

"It's the safest place for him tonight, Heyes. He's survived worse. There are no snakes or scorpions in there with him."

I just kept looking at the doctor. I remembered the Kid talking about the snake in the Yuma dark cells. Maybe the doctor is right. Maybe the Kid can survive this.

"When they shaved his head, they pulled the scab off of that wound on his temple. They called me in to stitch it up. I was able to give him a long drink of water when I did. It'll be alright."

I picked up my chalkboard but struggled to write words on it. Now I can't even write to communicate.

"Heyes, take your time. You can do this. I've seen you write very sophisticated sentences on that chalkboard." Dr. Arden's voice was calm, encouraging.

He was right. Frustrated, I stood up and threw the chalkboard across the room and part of the frame broke off. Dr. Arden ignored all that, calmly handed me the board back and said, "Heyes, what were you going to write?"

I walked on wobbling legs over to my bed and sat down. "Alive?"

"Yes. I watched from a distance as he was walked to the dark cell. He was standing tall despite the lashings." Dr. Arden said it like it was a normal place they walked him to, not the mind stealing dark cell. There were monsters in there.

"He was whipped?" Lom asked and I concentrated hard to hear the answer.

"Yes, with a cat-o-nine tails by the warden himself. And nine lashes, not seven. Two added for twice not saying sir to the guards. I've seen strong men crumple after four or five of those lashes. He didn't. He was still walking unaided and defiant when they put him in the cell."

"Heyes, are you alright?" Dr. Arden was shining a light into my eyes, holding my arm so my body trembled less. My mind must have wandered again. I thought I was in the dark cell again. Then, I was in the dark closet at the Home. Lom stood next to him looking concerned.

I couldn't form an answer for him. My thoughts stayed on the Kid, imagining the fear he was feeling in the dark cell. I could feel its horrors reaching out at me even now.

"Drink this, Heyes, it will help you to sleep. The governor told me he told you to be at the prison by ten. I'll meet you there then."

JED 'KID' CURRY

My shackles were taken off in the hall outside the dark cell. Two guards each held a rifle on me standin' there unrestrained. When the door to the dark cell opened, I tried to memorize everything I saw. When the door closed, it was truly dark, black, without a drop of light. I had been pushed into the cell hard. I think the guards expected me to fall. I disappointed them. I counted four steps from the door. Now I turned around as best I could tell and walked four steps back. I found the door. I had seen a pitcher of water to the right of the door; it had a vague smell to it… rat poison? I hesitated, then spilled it on the ground. If Chrissy had been brave enough to pour out her only water, how could I do less?

Feelin' the wall around the edge of the room, I came to where I had seen a rough cot. I felt it, no blanket, no pillows, fastened to the floor. Still, it was more than I'd had in the dark cell in Yuma. I continued my search and found a chamber pot in the corner. I moved it under the cot so I could find it easier. I took off the blood-soaked shirt and used it to put pressure on my shoulder. I'm not about to bleed to death in here. The salt water was meant to sting my back, but I think it will also clean it. I have lost track of time today, but it must be after two. I'll be out of here before noon tomorrow. I thought about Heyes, frightened of small, dark places, locked in here for weeks and months. I could do it for one night.

I pace around the sides of the cell measuring it with my steps. I have time to think about today. The governor was definitely upset with the warden. He knew I would take this option. The warden was sure that they had made it so repulsive and painful that I would not. And he knew if Heyes was left to the other option, he would fail. I saw the surprise in his eyes when I chose this, closely followed by joy at havin' Kid Curry in his prison, under his control, if only for a day.

But I feel safe here. The warden did his best to break me with the whippin' and all he got was a gasp at the eighth stroke. I am not afraid of the dark like Heyes. I sit on the side of the cot. Later I will try to sleep. By noon tomorrow, I'm goin' to be very thirsty, but I'll be alive.

I haven't had the opportunity to just be alone and think with nothing to do in a very long time. I find the dark calmin' for my mind and senses. There's nothin' to see, just silence to hear. I think there is a guard stationed outside my cell. I didn't hear words, but I heard whispered voices as the guard changed. I'll listen for when I hear that again and have a rough idea of time passin'.

I think about Heyes. I'm glad he had the courage to admit what he'd done. I meant it when I said I was proud of him. I saw him tremblin' when I left. Lom's there. He'll take care of him. Heyes hasn't liked some of my decisions lately. He didn't think we should bring mares in winter to the ranch. But he was gracious when he saw the way Chrissy kept the breedin' calendar. I kept my promise to her; I was not mad at Heyes. Then I thought of something. No matter how bad I feel, we have to take the train back to Bridgeport tomorrow. Heyes is only allowed one night a month in Cheyenne, either the night before or the night after his parole meeting. He has to leave or it's a violation of his parole. We'll leave tomorrow no matter what.

I think about Chrissy. She's becomin' more independent every day. Her mental wall is still there, but it is relaxed most of the time around me. She's playful, teasin'. When she stares and thinks, it is just for a short time now. Unless she's scared, then that wall snaps up. Scared like of Jeremy, the construction worker. Sheriff Birde hadn't approved him either. He just kinda showed up and started workin'. Why was he here? If Russell didn't know him, he wouldn't get paid. Figured out how to open the gate quietly. I need to fix that. I should have fixed it before I left. Chrissy had good instincts to be wary of him. I love her with all of my heart.

And I think about Mr. Ortiz. He has a commending way about him. Did he think I was threatenin' him when I said Rudy was gonna work for Lom? I hope not. That's not what I meant. I wanted him to know that Rudy would be with a friend. But I realized later Lom is his boss. Lom is Chrissy's trustee and that includes Winter's Refuge. He told me once Jose Ortiz manages it for the trust, for him. Lom has someone that reviews the ranch's books for him. And he approves any big purchase and signs Jose's paycheck. Is this why he agreed so quickly?

I think about the twins, the two smilin' faces I'd seen in the picture now framed and hidden in my room. Mr. Ortiz brought me a newer picture of them in the envelope. They looked happy, joyfully happy, in the picture. I stared at that picture for an hour, pretendin' they was smilin' at me. I look forward to the day they will come live with us.

And I think about the other picture, the one with the three girls. There was Chrissy's ma, Marina, and Beverly Birde. The first two were ten years older or more than Mrs. Birde. There was something about that picture that bothered me. I tried to remember each detail. And then I knew what it was – they're standin' in front of the leader's cabin at Devil's Hole.

LOM

Dr. Arden gave Heyes something to make him sleep, but it didn't stop his nightmares. First, his flailing arms are raging against someone or something unseen, then holding himself tight, sheltering himself. He's rolling from side to side in his restless sleep and has bloody knuckles from hitting the wall, thinking he's hitting an adversary. He's talking, but his words are not coherent. They're gibberish. And then he was silent. When he was here, Arden said that the shock had Heyes regressing. He didn't know if he should come to the prison with us tomorrow. I don't think I could keep Heyes away.

I had thought today was going to be an easy meeting like last time. I didn't know the Kid and Heyes had been keeping something from me. I need to talk to them; let them know I'm on Heyes' side, not an enemy.

Thought of sending a telegram back to Portersville to check on Rudy and Harker, but it's been a long day emotionally and I'm tired. They work well together.

I opened the bottle of whiskey and poured myself a drink. At first, I worried about Heyes walking out of here. He's too deep into his nightmares, I can't even wake him out of them.

ASJ*****ASJ

Sleep never came to me. I watched Heyes, my friend, continue to fight his nightmares. I kept two lights on in the room. It was bright all night. And I thought about the Kid. He's taken on too much when he should be the one healing. I'd heard about his heroics at the barn raising. And my anger rose that a good man was in the dark cell of that prison tonight. Dr. Arden worried about Heyes going to the prison this morning. I can't stop him, but I'll watch him closely. Between me and the doctor, we'll take care of him.

I felt Heyes watching me about an hour after sunrise. He'd only had that one dose of laudanum to make him sleep. His eyes were dark, with red circles under them. Very little rest made it through his nightmares.

"Still sandwiches there, Heyes, and apples. Eat something," I said as I turned to him, but now I understood what the doctor had meant by regression. He was sitting on the side of the bed staring at his bloody knuckles. Not moving, just looking.

I wasn't sure what to do. I wanted to tell him to fight through this. "Let's get those hands washed, okay. Those must have been some nightmares." There was no response.

I filled the basin with water and sat it on the nightstand. There was no resistance when I moved his knuckles into the cold water. He did nothing, just let his hands sit there.

If he couldn't ride out to the prison with me, I didn't know who I could get to watch him. Maybe someone from the hotel. I admire the Kid's patience with both Heyes and Chrissy. I don't have his patience, especially after a sleepless night. I pulled a chair over and sat right in front of Heyes.

"Heyes. Heyes!" I yelled and waited until his eyes came to look at me. "Think Heyes. If you are going to the prison with me today to get the Kid, you need to pull yourself together. I can't do it for you." My voice got louder as I spoke.

Fear flashed in his eyes. He quickly took his hands out of the water and moved back to sit in the far corner of the bed as far from me as he could. His eyes remained fixed on me, and a shudder went through his body.

Still, I needed to make him understand. "Not sure how we'll find the Kid when we get there. I can't take care of him and you." I was yelling now even though I knew that was the wrong thing to do. It was my frustrations coming out. I'm not sure he even understands what I'm telling him. I looked out the window and watched a cloud blow across the sky. No rain today, I thought, relieved.

I moved to the bed next to him. I wet a rag and pulled his hands out one by one and cleaned off the blood. He looked at me with suspicion but let me finish before yanking them back.

More under control myself, I put my hand on his shoulder to try and stop the involuntary shudders. "Heyes, I'm going downstairs to get something to put on your hands." I thought for a minute. I was going to have coffee sent up, but Heyes would be scared of room service. "I'll bring some coffee back and see if the desk clerk will keep an eye on you while I go to the prison."