Winter's Refuge

Chapter Fifty-Three

HEYES

With all the commotion in the last weeks, I didn't have time to fret over my next parole hearing until me and the Kid were riding to Bridgeport. The Kid looked tired. No, he was tired, exhausted. Lom wasn't coming; his sister Lillian passed away last night. She was reading by the living room fire. Her book dropped from her hands. Little Martha picked it up for her.

"Aunt Lily, here's your book. Will you read to me?" she asked.

But Lillian didn't take the book from the little hands or move to make room for the child on her lap.

"Aunt Lily, did you hear me?" Martha repeated.

The Kid was in the stable helping Juan settle the mares. Autumn's Sweetheart was nearing her time and had been restless the last few days. Me and Chrissy were reading on the couch, watching the twins play quietly before dinner. Lom was at the bookcase trying to pick out something to read. Everyone in the room heard the questioning fear in Martha's voice.

One look at Lily and we knew what happened.

"Martha, Michael, come kitchen table. I'll read Black Beauty." Chrissy gathered her babies close and bustled them to the far side of the room.

Lom fell on his knees in front of his sister's chair. "Lily?" He felt her wrist for a pulse. Not finding one, he put two fingers to her neck. "Oh, Lily!" A cry of sadness burst from him. I've never seen Lom cry. He never really shows his emotions, but now I saw tears as he dropped his head onto her knees.

I'd kept my mouth covered so I didn't say the wrong thing. I didn't know what to say or do. I felt sorrow, but I've seen so much death. I know life for the living goes on. Me and the Kid don't talk about it, but we still miss our families, and the memory of their dead bodies never goes away. I left Lom alone with his sister and backed toward the kitchen table. I wanted to say something to him, but no appropriate words came to mind.

I joined Chrissy and the kids and listened to Black Beauty but paced rather than sat down. When the back door opened, I stopped the Kid and Juan before they entered and pushed them outside.

Taking my hand from my face, "She's gone," I told them.

"How's Lom?" the Kid asked, concerned.

I thought hard and concentrated only about what I needed to say. "He's with her in the living room. She died in her chair, just dropped her book and was gone. He's crying."

I know the last sounded like a question. I couldn't help it. His tears unsettled me. I put my hand over my mouth, satisfied that I had said what I needed and nothing more.

JED 'KID' CURRY

I pushed by Heyes. Seein' Chrissy with our kids at the table, she nodded her head to the livin' room. I heard her recitin' Black Beauty. She always found comfort in that story. Hope our babies will, too.

Lom was kneelin' in front of Lily, his head on her lap, prayin'. I never knew he was a religious man. Never saw him set foot in a church that I remembered.

"Lom, I'm sorry," I said softly, layin' my hand on his shoulder.

His eyes were red as he stood up. "Don't know many prayers. Saying the few I know over and over."

I reached over and gently closed Lillian's eyes.

"Why isn't Aunt Lily moving?" I realized Michael had followed me into the living room. His little voice sounded scared.

Chrissy is the one who answered from the kitchen. "Angels come and take her spirit. She's in heaven now."

Michael moved to me. I knelt down and picked him up, wrapping him in my arms. He sobbed into my shoulder. I hugged him tight. The situation was tearin' at my heart, but another part of me was so happy. This was the first time he'd come to me on his own, and it felt like heaven. Chrissy smiled at me. She knew what I was feelin'.

When his tears slowed, I moved him to one hip. "I'm sorry, Papa," he said, without lookin' at me.

"You ain't done nothin' wrong that I know about."

"For crying, big boys don't cry." I felt like cryin' at his answer. He was almost five, a baby, worryin' about bein' a big boy.

"Big boys cry and so do men. It's alright to cry. Uncle Lom is cryin', too," I tried to reassure him. I remembered all the tears me and Heyes had shed after our families were murdered. The boys at Valparaiso had started to make fun of us, of me, but Heyes had fought every one of them until their tauntin' stopped.

Lom came over and took Michael from me. He had known Lom all his life and went to him easily. Soon he would be too big to carry, to hold. I'd missed all those early years of hugs and tears.

Lom whispered to Michael and Martha came and sat close to him at the kitchen table. I reached down and gently picked up Lillian's body and carried it to her bedroom. Layin' her on her bed, I could almost convince myself that she was sleepin'. When I went out, Chrissy was gettin' the twins ready for bed and Uncle Heyes enticed them upstairs to their room with the promise to read a story. When he concentrated, Heyes could read out loud without his thoughts interferin'.

HEYES

I was worried about facing the parole board without Lom. I know he gave the Kid a letter to give to Colin. This is my fifth parole hearing, and the Kid has to tell them about Preacher…and John McWinters. About two miles after we turned onto the main road, we heard a horse racing behind us. My heart pounded faster as if it was a posse chasing us. My fear poured out in my thoughts.

I looked at the Kid, and I said what I was thinking. "Should we run? We can outrun him on these horses. These are beautiful horses! But we aren't wanted…are we?"

"Heyes, start singin' or cover your mouth. That's Frank."

"Frank is a sheriff. Does he want to arrest us…or me? I don't think I've done anything wrong, or have I?"

"Quiet, he's not gonna arrest either one of us. He's a friend." We had stopped and the Kid was watching him approach. He said Frank was a friend, but I heard caution in his tone.

"Jed, Heyes! Glad I caught up to you. Lom sent Juan to ask me to come with you to the hearing." Frank's horse looked glad for the rest while we were talking.

"I didn't know that…" the Kid said tentatively.

"Lom wants me to talk about John McWinters. Thinks it would be better if it came from a sheriff."

"Thanks, Frank." The Kid reached across and shook his hand.

Frank looked kinda embarrassed and said, "That's what friends do."

The Kid's wide smile told me everything was good with Frank coming with us.

Frank studied the Kid for a moment. "Said maybe you'd tell me something else you want to talk to Colin about in private, just me, you, and Colin.."

I nervously looked from Frank to the Kid. Was this about me? Did I do something wrong after all? Was I going back to prison?

The Kid knew what I was thinking. "Nothin' to do with you, Heyes." We exchanged a glance, and I knew he was telling me the truth.

"I'll think about it," he said.

JED 'KID' CURRY

I was glad Frank was comin' with us to tell us what happened with Johnny McWinters. Havin' a sheriff, other than Lom, speak for me is a good thing. I still have a naggin' thought that I'll be arrested for aidin' and abettin' Johnny because he got away. I'm not gonna lie about what happened. It shocked me when Johnny admitted he killed Price. He didn't feel any remorse. He said it as a matter of fact with no emotion. I've killed. Remorse eats at me, even for Danny Bilson, a truly evil man. At that moment, I felt the evil in Johnny McWinters. I was shocked that the enthusiastic young boy I knew was a murderer. I also know I have a delicate conversation to have with Frank. Lom sent him to talk to the governor with me about Jose Ortiz. Lom didn't know that Beverly's father was part of the triumvirate, but I do. Just going to tell him the truth about how I found out.

ASJ*****ASJ

Frank fell asleep on the train to Cheyenne, but Heyes was wide awake. As usual, he was in the middle seat with his bag on one side and me on the other. Frank slept across from us. It's hard for me to sit in one position for long, my back tightens up and my legs cramp. I can't sleep. I bought a book, but Heyes was talkin', nothin' coverin' his mouth. I had let him just talk not really listening until I heard the word 'gun'.

"Heyes, it'll be alright. What are you talkin'' about now?"

He stopped talkin', and I heard him singin' softly. Then he let his thoughts tumble out quickly. "This is my fifth parole hearing. If I hadn't touched my gun, I'd only have one more month in the captivity of parole instead of three. I just wanted to see if it was loaded to protect Chrissy if I needed to. What was so wrong with that?"

"Heyes…"

He sang softly again for a few minutes. "Don't know why I thought that. I'm sorry I touched that gun. It was wrong. And look what happened, two additional months of parole, just a bigger cell."

I was hurt but tried to keep it from my face. I have a very good poker face when I try. I've tried to create a home for Heyes, but I guess he didn't feel that way. And I had spent a night of torture in prison so he could keep his parole after he touched the gun. I thought he was improvin', and in most ways, he was, but prison had made him internalize everything. To survive, he had become self-centered. Dr. Arden told me this. From the time we reunited, he started to learn to care about others again. I thought our family was his home, not a bigger cell.

Frank's voice came from under the hat shieldin' his face from the light. "Heyes, you better stop those thoughts pouring out and think about what you're saying. Think you owe Jed a heartfelt apology. Seems to be your partner has done a lot for you and doesn't deserve to hear some of those things you're thinking."

Heyes clamped his hand over his mouth quickly. His eyes grew wide. He was used to lettin' his thoughts flow with me, but he never said anything like this before. I saw his eyes fill with regret. "I'm sorry, Kid. I didn't mean what I was saying." He wasn't restrainin' his thoughts, again, so I thought they were true. "You saved my life more than once. I wouldn't have made the last six months in prison without your visits and the strength you gave me, are still giving me.. And you gave me a home, a real home, something we ain't had since we were little. Sometimes I feel confined because I can't leave Cheyenne County. Like for my plan. I want to go to Colorado. I'm going to ask at my parole hearing if I can go to Brown River that day."

He stopped to take a breath. I couldn't hear his thoughts and he wasn't singin' or recitin' the alphabet. Heyes became sullen and I saw him lookin' down, retreatin' into himself. Still, I couldn't hear his thoughts.

"Heyes, where are you?"

He looked up at me with tears in his eyes and still I couldn't hear his thoughts. When he spoke, it seemed in order to control his thoughts, his words had deserted him and he was fightin' to get them back. "K…Kid, if it…it hadn't been for y…you, partner, b…be back in pri…son serv… doing seventeen m…more years. You s…saved me. You did…didn't have to go t…t…to p…pri…ison." His tears flowed down his cheek.

I put my arm around his shoulder and handed him my handkerchief.

He looked at my pain in his eyes. "They tr…tried to k…k…kill you. My f…fault." He leaned into me for a moment. "Your r..ranch is home… Babies make it complete." He said each sentence slowly and paused in between. His thoughts were his own in those pauses. "Can I stay?"

I leaned close so only he could hear, the sting of his first words easing, "Told you before, partner, you own a third of the ranch. And I'm hopin' you'll choose to stay after you get your amnesty. Need you with us."

HEYES

"Home feels good," was all I could say. I realized my thoughts were my own. I didn't have to cover my mouth or sing to keep them private. I hope they stay this way. Sometimes my random thoughts aren't what I feel in my heart.

We were quiet the rest of the train ride. Frank sleeping, or pretending to sleep. I was hoping the Kid had forgiven me for my self-centered thoughts, but Frank gave me the sheriff's studied stare when he woke up.

At the Cheyenne train station, we didn't know where to go for the meeting. Lom always coordinated that, but I saw Dr. Arden and nudged the Kid. "Aiden!" he called out.

"We're meeting back in the courthouse again. Hurry, your train was late, and we don't want to keep these men waiting."

While the room is not intimidating, the ornate table at the front of the room is. I stopped on the steps and trembled. Frank stared at me but didn't say nothing.

"Good, they haven't sat down yet," Dr. Arden said. "Sit down. I'll go see if they are ready."

Frank sat down, but I nervously paced in front of the table. The Kid went and stared out the window. You can't see it from here, but the prison is in that direction.

When the door opened, Frank stood and me and the Kid stood next to him. I couldn't read the expressions on their faces. I used to be able to read people so easily; now I just look to see if they are a threat to me…or the Kid.

JED 'KID' CURRY

Heyes seems to have his words back and his thoughts controlled. I hope they stay that way, or this meeting could get awkward.

"Good day, Mr. Heyes, Mr. Curry." Colin started when he saw Frank instead of Lom.

"Colin, er…gentlemen, this is Sheriff Frank Birde of Three Rivers, Nebraska, near where we live. Lom couldn't make it. He sent this letter to you." I handed Lom's letter to Colin.

"Sheriff Trevors' sister died last night," Colin told the others after reading the letter. To us he said, "Please give Sheriff Trevors our condolences."

"I'll do that," I answered. I had no idea what the letter said. Colin didn't share it with the other members of the board.

The governor spoke first. "A new warden has been appointed for the Wyoming Territorial Prison and he will join this board at the next meeting. It's someone I believe you know, Mr. Curry, Mr. Reginald Mays."

I kept my features steady to hide my surprise. Mr. Mays was the second overseer of the railroad camp. The senior guard's brother. He had never worked in a prison that I knew. I had found him honest but he still believed that giving lashes to the whole camp was the way to get the prisoners to work harder. "Yes, Governor, he was the final overseer at the railway camp where I was indentured. Seemed to be a fair man." I didn't want to say I thought he was not qualified to be a warden of a large prison.

"Glad to hear you say that. He told me some extraordinary stories about your time there."

I didn't know what to say, so I just nodded and fought the urge to look down.. I'd just done what I needed to do to survive.

"He'd like to meet with you, both of you, next month. Wants your opinions on prison reforms."

The governor wasn't really lookin' for an answer, so I didn't give him one. Didn't know how I felt talkin' about reformin' a system that took me and Heyes, already reformed outlaws, and tried to break us.

"His assistant warden will be Mr. Diggs and his brother will be in charge of the guards."

Me and Senior Guard Phillip Mays were probably as close to friends as a prisoner and a guard could be. Still, not sure how I felt about meetin' him again.

Colin started the official part of the meetin' but threw me off guard by callin' me first instead of Heyes. I figured Lom must have wrote somethin' in his letter. "Mr. Curry, do you have anything to report this month? Has Mr. Heyes kept to the terms of his parole?"

When I approached and stood in front of the table, Heyes came with me even though he was not called. Felt good to have him next to me. I looked and Frank was standin' on my other side.

"Hey…Mr. Heyes has kept all the rules, but I do have two things to report. Sheriff Birde will tell you about one. I let Lom know what happened with both."

"And what is it you are going to report to us?"

I felt Heyes shift his feet nervously. He used to be able to show a calm exterior to the world when nervous, not anymore.

"A wanted member of our old Devil's Hole Gang tried to come to the ranch house, but I didn't let him past our gate," I said it just like I had rehearsed with Lom.

Colin thought for a moment. "Did Mr. Heyes see this man?"

"No, when I seen who it was, I asked Heyes to go to his room and stay there."

"Did he?"

"Yes." This next is the part I was worried about. If I say the wrong thing or Colin asks the wrong question, I could be arrested for aidin' and abettin' a man I knew was wanted. But Colin didn't ask any more questions. Lom must have warned him in that letter.

"Very well. I see no violation here." Colin turned his gaze away from me. "Mr. Heyes?"

"Yes, sir," Heyes answered.

"Have you followed all the rules of your probation?"

Heyes was standin' so close to me, I could feel his arm shakin'.

"Yes, sir, I've been very good." Heyes sounded like a little boy to me. I missed my strong partner, but I'd seen improvement. And this is a very stressful situation.

"Excellent."

"Mr. Birde, I believe you are here representing Sheriff Trevors."

Frank took a small step forward, so he was standin' just ahead of me and Heyes. "Yes, sir, I am."

One of the men on the board, who is usually quiet, asked, "Are you related to Mayor Frederick Birde?"

"He's my older brother," Frank answered. He seemed surprised at the question.

"He's a good man. Tell him I'll support him for state representative anytime he wants to run." The man sounded blustery and full of his own importance to me.

But Frank handled him easily. "I'll be sure to tell him. What I want to tell you all is that John McWinters was in Three Birds and made contact with Mr. Curry, at the point of his gun."

Every member of that board was interested. "Did you capture him?"

"No, he held that gun right in Jed's…er…Mr. Curry's belly, told him his sister looked happy, to be good to her, and that he shot Irving Price for what he done to her."

Frank stopped to let the short conversations that sprang up among the board, stop. "I held Price in jail but didn't have anything to charge him with. Had to let him go. Guess the McWinter boys weren't satisfied with that."

Colin took control of the conversation and I again wondered what Lom had told him in that letter. "Yes, the McWinter brothers. Mr. Heyes, is your plan to catch them finalized?" he asked and all discussion of my encounter with Johnny was abandoned.

"It's already in m…motion," Heyes answered. "I...I'd like to ask permission to go to Colorado and help catch the McWinters."

Colin looked at the governor who shook his head as did Dr. Arden. "No, I'm sorry, Mr. Heyes, your parole states you stay in Cheyenne County, Nebraska."

I knew Heyes was upset at the answer even though I'd told him to expect to get turned down.

"B…but it's MY pl…plan!" he said almost yellin'. I understood that his thoughts were comin' out again. I hit his shoulder with mine and pointed to his bandana. He understood. Mumblin', "Sorry," he covered his mouth.

"It was my understanding that it was designed so you did not need to be present," the governor said firmly.

"Yes, sir," Heyes answered, lookin' down, and pressin' his bandana hard against his lips.

"Governor," I broke in to ease the tension. "You mentioned you would assign men to help us capture the McWinters."

I felt Heyes relax a bit next to me as he regained his control.

"Yes, Mr. Curry, I'm assigning two US Marshals to help you, Ken and Karl Josephs," the governor answered.

"Need more than two," Heyes said quickly and replaced his bandana.'

"Two is all we can spare," the governor returned.

I could feel Heyes' disappointment and said, "Governor, any additional men you could assign…"

He cut me off. "Two it is, Mr. Curry."

The governor's tone was severe. "As of now I've got two other marshals committed to finding the two men already paid to kill you. They might not care or not have heard that Fitzjohn is dead. Both of them are wanted…for murder."

"Thank you governor but..".

Colin gave me a stern look and I didn't press it any further. He addressed the men on the board. "Gentlemen, that this plan exists and is in motion is to be kept in extreme confidence. Please do not discuss, even among yourselves. Do you understand?"

They all nodded, or said, "Agreed."

"Very well, this meeting is adjourned. We will meet here again in one month."

Me, Heyes, and Frank just stood there and watched the men leave. Heyes looked upset and almost forlorn. He didn't say anything… then. We walked to the hotel in silence. Me and Heyes got the same room as always and Frank was across the hall, but he joined us in our room. Heyes threw his hat on the dresser and slumped into a chair…and started letting his anger out.

"This is my plan, MY PLAN, a Hannibal Heyes plan. It's taken me months to work out every little detail. And they won't let me go."

I motioned to his bandana, but he ignored me and let his thoughts continue. I looked at Frank. He shrugged his shoulders as Heyes kept talking.

"They won't let me go and then he only gives me two men. Good men, both of them, but only two. The McWinters brothers are casual killers. Mark does it for fun. The Kid told me Johnny has no conscience and Bobby Bell is the one everyone knows is their gunfighter. They were all fast as boys probably faster now. How are the Kid and two marshals going to bring them down? Lom will probably help, but we need more men." Heyes fell silent without coverin' his mouth and I wondered if we were hearin' his thoughts, or he'd been talkin' to us.

"Already let you know to count me in," Frank said. "Been told I'm pretty handy with a gun."

"And I'll be there," Colin said from the open doorway. I wondered how much he had heard. I hoped not everything. "I'm not fast, but my aim is true."

"Never held a gun but count me in, too." Dr. Aiden Arden was behind Colin, out of breath from hurrying up the stairs.

Heyes has difficulty hidin' his emotions at times and this was one of those times. "Thank you. Thank you all."

ASJ*****ASJ

Me and Heyes discussed some parts of his plan with our three volunteers. Aiden went down and brought back coffee and sandwiches for everyone, and we talked until nightfall. It had been a hard day so me and Heyes laid down early, each with a book. When I looked over half an hour later, Heyes was asleep. I needed more time to settle to sleep so I kept readin'.

"OWW!" Heyes yelled in his sleep, grabbed at his leg, and started thrashin'' around in his bed, punchin' out at everything, the mattress, the pillow and the wall.

"You may have got in the first attack with that shiv, but nobody beats Hannibal Heyes in a fistfight." His hands grabbed the air as if reaching for somethin'. "You're a coward, a sneak, a yellow belly. Don't you know better than to fight ME?"

I wasn't sure what to do, so I called, "Heyes, where are you?" knowing he was lost in his nightmare.

"You're a big man but I'm smarter. Got it!" He held up his empty hand in triumph. I knew he was relivin' the prison fight where he killed a man. I saw determination on his face. I know the man had attacked him and the death was in self-defense without a doubt. But it was the furious fury that had come over Heyes after that had earned him six extra months behind bars. A fury that made him continue to pound the dead body mercilessly, taking two guards to pull him off. Lom had told me about it. He'd heard it from Dr. Arden.

"Heyes, wake up!" I tried to make my voice commandin', but he didn't respond.

"Umph! Stop hitting, say 'uncle', and I'll end this right now!"

From this position on the bed, I'd guess he was dreamin' he was sittin' on someone. His right hand was still high in the air with the invisible shiv he had wrestled from his attacker. He was breathin' heavily, and his body rocked from imagined blows. The sweat had soaked his long johns. Suddenly he rolled on his back and his hand swept out in an arc. His other arm was in a defensive position in front of his face.

"Teach you to try and kill me," Heyes yelled, his breath coming in bursts. "You f***g asshole!" Heyes rolled to his knees and pounded the pillow over and over, one with the imaginary shiv and the other with his fist.

I took a chance and reached around his waist and lifted him off his bed. I had pinned one arm in my hold but the other flailed at my head.

I held him above the floor, his legs kickin' back at me. "Heyes! Wake up, partner! You're safe! Stop fightin'!"

I shook him. He stopped strugglin' against my hold. I felt the tension in his body relax.

"Kid, I killed him. I cut his throat with his shiv. I never thought I could kill." Tears flowed generously onto his cheeks. I sat him on the side of his bed and sat down next to him, our sides touchin'. When he looked at me with eyes that had seen so much, I saw the boy that had taken care of me all my life. "Kid, how do you live with it?" he pleaded to me for an answer.

"Ain't got no choice." The faces of the men I had killed filled my thoughts. "It was self-defense, partner. He would have killed you."

He looked at me with deep sadness in his eyes. "Yes, self-defense. He made the shiv. He attacked me," he said quietly, as if trying to reconcile somethin' in his mind.

He turned away wipin' the tears. "Sorry, don't mean to bother you."

"Heyes, in this whole country I might be the one person who can really understand what you're goin' through right now. Self-defense makes it necessary. It don't make it right."

He pulled his legs up and laid down so I figured we were done talkin' about it until after I turned the lamp down, he said, "Thanks, Kid, for always being there for me."

"What family's for."

I thought he had fallen asleep. My thoughts were on my conversation tomorrow with Colin and the governor and maybe Frank…about Jose Ortiz. I was almost asleep when Heyes finished, "Kid, I don't even remember his name."