9 - Coppernob

Content Warning: This chapter contains expressions of low self-esteem. Do not read further if these topics upset you.

"Did you achieve 100mph, Lady Hamilton?"

The Duchess of Hamilton rolled her eyes. Once again Mallard was being antagonistic. She gave a deep sigh and glared at Mallard. Thankfully the museum was closed so she could be as indignant as she so pleased.

"I am in no mood to entertain your little games, Mallard!" She snapped at him. He always did this, bringing up how he had beaten her sister. He always had to boast about it and demean her late sister's efforts. It was most infuriating.

To her surprise, however, Mallard had decided not to be snide and condescending for once. Instead, the blue engine's attention was drawn to a raven on the roof of the building as it sat perched on the rafter regally.

"That's a shame, it's quite a different feeling," the Blue duck imparted. "It's not exactly pleasant."

The Duchess of Hamilton just stared at Mallard confused. She had never heard the LNER engine sound anything other than boastful or mean. Yet here he was, quiet, calm and collected, a glimmer of life behind those icy cold blue eyes.

Lady Hamilton simply gave a thoughtful hum as a strange tension filled the spaces around them. It wasn't unpleasant but at the same time, it wasn't friendly either.

"Do you ever want to join them?" Mallard suddenly asked and Lady Hamilton furrowed her brow in confusion.

"Whatever do you mean?" She inquired and Mallard's gaze did not break from the raven who now had several others join it.

"With the birds? To be free and not caged like some human's pet," Mallard explained and Hamilton now followed his gaze to the birds.

She did want to run again. She wanted to work once more and turn her wheels under her own steam but she already knew what the answer was going to be if she asked the director of the museum.

"Sometimes," she offered cautiously. She had to be careful in case Mallard was trying to lower her guard to get something from her. "Why do you ask?"

Mallard said nothing, he only continued to stare at the ravens as they milled about before suddenly taking off. Mallard seemed to be startled and blinked rapidly, his entire frame giving an enormous jolt as he suddenly looked around as if waking up from a long sleep. He caught Hamilton staring at him and he suddenly glared at her, a far cry from the thoughtful and pensive engine he had been moments before.

"What are you staring at you ridiculous upturned bathtub?!" he suddenly caterwauled at her viciously catching Hamilton completely off guard with his abrupt shift in attitude. "Didn't Stanier ever tell you it's rude to stare?!"

Lady Hamilton wasn't insulted, she was more shocked at the sudden return of Mallard to his usual abrasive self.

For a second, Mallard had seemed like an entirely different engine. A gentleman. She wondered if this had been Mallard long before all this mess, a younger and kinder Mallard.

She frowned to herself and looked away from the blue engine.

Mallard was certainly a strange engine.

"Hello! You're the engine filling in for Green Arrow aren't you?" The little blue tank engine's voice called to Tydfil as she shuffled in with her trucks. Tydfil looked at him annoyed. She wanted nothing more than to get this job done and be off for the day, she didn't want to idle around and chit-chat with tank engines.

"Yes," she answered his question curtly and to the point, trying to make it clear that she just wanted to get going. The little Tank Engine didn't take the hint, however.

"I'm Thomas, it's nice to meet you!" Thomas greeted her brightly and Tydfil sighed. Oh, how she hated small talk.

"I'm Tydfil," she introduced herself bluntly. "And I'm sorry, I don't like small talk."

Thomas wasn't offended nor was he put off by her bluntness.

"That's okay not everyone is!" He reasoned cheerily. "I hope you enjoy your day Tydfil!"

Tydfil was taken aback by the little engine's cheerfulness even in the face of her being somewhat rude to him,

"Oh, well, thank you I guess," Tydfil managed to say a little flustered by just how friendly the little tank engine was.

"If you need any help just give me a shout and if I'm not working I'll lend a buffer," Thomas proclaimed happily and gave her a brilliant smile.

"Well, thank you!" She hated that Thomas' cheerful nature was infectious and rubbing off on her. She managed to give him a small smile.

"You have a very nice smile Tydfil," Thomas complimented and Tydfil felt her cheeks burn slightly. She was about to respond to the tank engine when a loud whistle echoed down the line as a huge engine came into the station with a sour look on their face.

"Hello!" Thomas greeted but then he frowned and squinted at the engine confused. "Tornado?"

"I am not Tornado!" The engine snapped angrily at Thomas, glaring at him. "I am Blue Peter!"

"But you're not blue you're green," Thomas joked trying to lighten the engine's mood but the engine seemed to glare at him even harder.

"Off with you, you pest!" Blue Peter scolded and Thomas frowned, annoyed.

"This is my branch line I'll have you know," Thomas asserted himself. "I won't be bossed around by some strange engine who thinks he can storm in here and give orders!"

Tydfil was impressed. Never had she seen a little engine stand up to a big one without even flinching or provocation from an outside source.

Blue Peter glared at Thomas but the little engine did not falter, matching the Peppercorn's glare. Seeing as he wasn't winning this staring match Blue Peter turned his attention to Lady of Legend on the track next to him.

He snorted steam and stared at her dismissively.

"Another ridiculous new build!" he scoffed and Tydfil felt hurt at his words. She couldn't retort though, she was trying to be on her best behaviour to try and impress Sir Topham Hatt.

As much as she wanted to mouth off to this huge, ugly engine she could start a fight and get into trouble for being crude in front of the passengers. So she held her tongue and just glared at him.

Thankfully, she didn't need to as Thomas immediately stepped in to defend her.

"Hey! You leave Tydfil alone, she's doing her best," Thomas snapped at Blue Peter. "I'll get Sir Topham to kick you off my branch line if you're rude to her again!"

Blue Peter said nothing at that, only tutting and averting his gaze from the two engines.

Tydfil was shocked. This tiny engine had stood up for her. Maybe he wasn't so bad after all.

"Well," Tydfil began awkwardly as she gave off a small cloud of steam. "I must get going, thank you, Thomas."

"It's no problem Tydfil! Have a safe journey!" Thomas cheerily bode her farewell.

Tydfil gave him a rare smile and quickly departed without another word.

"Hello, Flying Scotsman sir!" Came the cheery greeting of the Thompson B1 as Flying Scotsman pulled into the station.

He was distracted with thoughts of Truro, his worry weighing heavily on his mind and so didn't hear the young Mayflower. Mayflower stared at her buffers disheartened.

Scotsman looked angry for some reason. She wondered if it was because she was there. She was used to the other LNER engines subbing her existence.

It wasn't her fault, she knew that the other engines gave her the cold shoulder because of her designer and not herself. Other engines from the other railways had no such attitudes. It was always the Gresley and Peppercorn engines that had taken issue with her.

She knew very well that Sir Nigel had made a point of keeping Tornado away from her. It hurt but she understood. Her designer had caused irreparable damage and caused conflict that lasted even into today.

Despite this, Flying Scotsman tried at least trying to greet her and exchange pleasantries despite his misgivings about her designer. Today it seemed her presence was ruining his day.

"I'll get out of your way as soon as I can sir," Mayflower muttered and Scotsman seemed to snap out of his tense mood and noticed her.

"Oh!" He exclaimed. "Ms Mayflower, I didn't see you there please forgive me!"

Mayflower looked over at him and saw him looking at her, his expression now apologetic.

"It's okay Flying Scotsman sir," she mumbled to him. "I'm used to being ignored."

Scotsman's face softened and his eyes looked compassionate toward her.

"It wasn't intentional Ms Mayflower, I just have a lot on my mind right now," Scotsman apologised and Mayflower smiled at him.

"I just wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday," Mayflower smiled at him. "100 years is quite an achievement, I hope your celebrations go well."

Flying Scotsman chuckled. "I hope so too, thank-you Ms Mayflower." He paused as he looked her over. "You've had a new coat of paint haven't you?"

Mayflower blushed. She wasn't expecting Scotsman to notice at all.

"Yes, yes I have! Thank you for noticing!" She immediately perked up and Scotsman couldn't help but chuckle at her sudden enthusiasm.

"It looks very striking. You pull off the old apple green well," he complimented.

Mayflower looked down at the tracks embarrassed as Flying Scotsman steamed himself up ready to depart.

"Thank you, sir!" Mayflower exclaimed brightly.

"It's just Scotsman Mayflower," Scotsman told her and with a mighty wheesh of steam began to depart. He was anxious to return to Truro. The old engine hadn't been in the best condition when he had needed to leave and Braunton wasn't exactly the most sensitive of engines when it came to bedside manner.

"Thank you, Scotsman!" He heard Mayflower call to the back of his train. It made him smile to hear how happy she was.

Maybe she wasn't deserving of the hate that the other Gresley engines often gave her. She wasn't at fault and she shouldn't be punished for the mistakes of her designer. A lot of his own resentment of her in the past had been from what Thompson had done to Great Northern.

He guessed that the revelation of Great Northern surviving in one form or another had eased that resentment in her in some way.

He made a note to treat her better in future.

Lady of Legend still did not like the work she was given on Sodor, but she for now kept her head down and did as she was asked. Being given a tender from the Castle class wasn't an opportunity to be squandered and she did not want to be locked in a shed.

She had expected to be reviled and cast aside by the Sudrian engines but to her surprise, Arthur and Murdoch were not the only ones showing her kindness as Thomas had just shown her. He had rallied to her aid when that big ugly engine had attacked her out of nowhere.

Slowly she was learning to enjoy the work she was given. Even the goods work wasn't bothering her as much now, the ideas that the Kings had planted in her mind about her being too good for goods work were wearing off. She found herself enjoying her work for what it was and nothing more. It was such a small thing but for her it was a huge achievement.

It was something foreign to her, enjoying goods work and the company of 'lower' class engines. Usually, the other Great Westerns spoke down to her, demanded more frame-breaking work from her when she was already trying her best.

On Sodor they didn't care that she was dirty, they didn't care if she talked back to them, as long as she did her work, she was more than welcome here. It was refreshing.

This was why she was very displeased when she saw Jocasta Parsons, one of the Great Western Society's board members standing on a platform with Sir Topham Hatt, Clun Castle waiting nearby.

Mrs Parsons was scowling at her intently, while Clun Castle had an annoying smirk plastered over her face as Lady of Legend's own tender was newly fixed behind her.

"I must say, you've certainly improved a lot, Lady of Legend!" Sir Topham Hatt exclaimed as he greeted the Lady of Legend with a warm smile. "I am very pleased to see this although I am disappointed that it took an accident for you to do so."

"Yes, Clun Castle is quite effective I think," Mrs Parsons cut in before Lady of Legend could speak. "She's doing wonders with her wouldn't you agree?"

Clun Castle hadn't done anything but lend Tydfil her tender and be incredibly abrasive.

"I like to think I am responsible for my own successes, Lady Parsons," Tydfil objected and the older woman glared at her. Clun Castle herself didn't look too impressed either. Tydfil felt her resolve falter and she immediately backed down. "I- I apologise Ms Parsons.'

Mrs Parsons glared at Lady of Legend down her nose.

"I will hear nothing against Clun Castle young lady, she is your superior," she scoffed and Clun Castle gave a superior look to Tydfil.

"Yes ma'am," Tydfil muttered reluctantly.

"All that being said, you've done a wonderful job of improving yourself Lady of Legend, you should be proud," Sir Topham Hatt praised her still and Tydfil felt accomplished.

"Thank you, sir! I am sir!"

Tydfil did not miss the scowl that Clun Castle and Mrs Parsons gave her. She chose to ignore it.

"Clun Castle has brought your tender back girl," Mrs Parsons informed Lady of Legend coldly. "Say thank you."

Tydfil didn't want to say thank you but she knew she had to. Mrs Parsons would not be so forgiving if she didn't.

"Thank you, Clun Castle," Tydfil muttered quietly.

Clun Castle smiled at her. "Please, call me Meredith!" She encouraged Tydfil who glared at her. She said nothing. Clun Castle's smile faded slightly but she said nothing more.

"Green Arrow will be released in the next couple of days so your workload will lessen," Sir Topham Hatt informed Tydfil, ignoring the rising tension between the two Great Westerns and their director.

Tydfil bit her lip nervously. Despite everyone else receiving her with warmth and friendship after her incident, she wasn't sure how Green Arrow himself would react to her.

"I've told Green Arrow to be civil but any problems and you come to me, alright Lady of Legend?" Sir Topham Hatt spoke sternly to her and Tydfil smiled at him.

"Yes sir, I will sir."

"Good, keep up the excellent work Tydfil, I'm proud to see you grow as an engine!"

"Thank you, sir!" Tydfil grinned proudly feeling a warm fuzzy feeling in her boiler grow. She began to move off to collect her tender from Clun Castle.

Mrs Parsons and Clun Castle were watching her every move with a critical gaze. They seemed to be judging her and scrutinising her and it made her very uncomfortable.

She wanted to snap at them but she didn't. Snapping at her director and a castle class wouldn't end well for her.

'Do not trust them, dear Tydfil."

The voice in her smokebox spoke to her again after many days of not appearing. It seemed just as nervous as she was and Tydfil did not blame it one bit.

"Hello, Sir Nigel!" Tornado exclaimed brightly as the streamlined engine chuffed into the yard back from his railtour. "I wasn't expecting to see you here!"

The engine chuckled deeply and beamed at her. He always enjoyed Tornado's youthful enthusiasm. It was such a breath of fresh air.

"Hello to you too young Peppercorn," Sir Nigel returned her greeting. "I hope you're keeping well."

"Yes, Sir Nigel I am!"

The young engine seemed agitated, bouncing on her frames slightly and gazing at him with nervous energy. He could tell that she wanted to ask him something.

"Something on your mind Young Iron?" He asked and Tornado looked away from him nervously.

"Many things," she began hesitantly. "I don't know where to start though."

"Start with whatever worries you the most," Sir Nigel offered and Tornado gazed back up at him.

"Well, I uh, wanted to know if you knew anything about Blur Peter's past and why he might… hate me?" She asked anxiously looking around. "I know it's rude to ask about someone's history but Lady Hamilton suggested that I look into it. It might help me find out what I did wrong."

"Tornado dear, as far as I can tell, you have done nothing wrong," Sir Nigel assured her. "But Blue Peter has a very complex and deep past. He has a lot of issues which made people dismiss how he treated you."

"I know he was upset over Saint Mungo being scrapped," Tornado admitted quietly. "He ranted about it one time. It upset me."

Sir Nigel looked at Tornado thoughtfully.

"Blue Peter had hoped when your build was announced, that it was a project to bring back Saint Mungo," he explained.

"I know," Tornado looked at the A4 sadly. "I'm sorry I wasn't Saint Mungo resurrected."

Sir Nigel gave a hum.

"You should not be sorry," Sir Nigel pointed out. "Blue Peter's actions were selfish and wrong. After you gained sentience he went around and tried to have the process reversed or overridden so that Saint Mungo could be brought back. His partner at the time, King Charles found out about what he was doing and immediately cut ties with him."

"He… tried to override my soul?" Tornado stammered shakily, shocked that someone would do such a thing.

Sir Nigel stared at her grimly.

"I am afraid so. But of course, he never got further than trying to nose around with Gold Dust which at the time was a tightly kept secret," he explained. "He failed, which I am glad that he did. We honestly do not know how or what he would have done to you but it does not matter. You are here and you are safe now."

Tornado just stared at the A4 in complete shock.

Blue Peter had tried to effectively kill her. Snuff her soul out of her engine and bring back his friend. She felt abandoned and hurt.

Her own cousin had tried to kill her while she had been an infant engine.

"I've upset you," Sir Nigel observed in concern. "I'm deeply sorry."

"It's just…" Tornado struggled to find the words. "Blue Peter tried to find a way to kill me?"

"If I am honest, I don't think Blue Peter saw it that way," Sir Nigel doubted. "Blue Peter was abused and his past is traumatic. I think more than anything he was desperate to have someone who loved dearly back when he was in pain. This does not excuse his actions of course but I honestly think he did these things, not in his right mind,"

Tornado said nothing more, Sir Nigel's words hung heavy in her boiler.

"Did his accident really hurt him that much?" Was all she could ask.

"Blue Peter honestly thought he was going to be scrapped after that accident," Sir Nigel explained grimly. "He has had the same crew for over 20 years because of it. He is still traumatised by what happened. The Royal Engine accepted him into the yard because she saw just how deep his fears ran. I doubt it helped him though. If anything it made him conceited and made his ego fragile and easy to bruise."

"Is that why he's been acting out ever since he got expelled from the Royal Yard?" Tornado asked. "Why he's so desperate to find approval from the Royal Engines?"

"I believe so, being a part of the Royal Entourage gave him a sense of security," Sir Nigel concurred. "No one would ever scrap him while he was an 'important' engine."

For a while Tornado sat silently, mulling the A4's words over in her mind. She then smiled brightly at him and expressed her thanks.

"Thank you, Sir Nigel," she grinned at him. "I understand a little bit more now."

"That's okay Tornado, though I do ask that you don't spread Blue Peter's personal concerns around, I have told you such things in confidence," Sir Nigel urged Tornado. "Blue Peter is a very private engine, he will not appreciate his trauma being discussed by others."

"I won't Sir Nigel," Tornado promised and the A4 looked pleased.

"Was there anything else you wanted to discuss young iron?" Sir Nigel asked and an expression of worry appeared on the young engine's face.

"It's uh City of Truro," she hesitantly explained.

"Oh, he's returned to York?" Sir Nigel inquired, his attention peaking.

"Yes but he," Tornado paused unsure of how to phrase her words. "He doesn't look good. Scotsman wanted to talk to you about it because he didn't know what to do."

Sir Nigel furrowed his brow and his worry grew. He felt a darkness creep into his mind, City of Truro was one of the strongest souls he had ever known. Unbreakable and a pillar of strength to those around him.

He was the poster child of the Great Western Railway. He embodied all that the railway stood for and the A4 had never known him to falter in all his years, even under the worst days of the United Kingdom's railways.

"I'll do my best," Sir Nigel promised the young iron but the black engine didn't know if he could keep that promise. He turned to look at her and gave a look of hope.

"I hope you find the answers you seek Tornado," he wished with a warm smile and Tornado brightened up.

"I hope so too, Sir Nigel!" She smiled and watched the A4 Pacific slowly chuff off into the distance.

"Another Stephenson's Rocket?" Coppernob scoffed as Evening Star shunted him into his exhibit place at the Sodor museum.

"Well now the actual Rocket I think you'll find," Stephen huffed. "That bad boy you got at the museum was made for a movie seeing as everyone thought I was scrapped for the longest time."

Coppernob raised an eyebrow in amusement.

"I thought you were the replica, the Rocket at the museum claims to be the original," he countered and Stephen laughed.

"Maybe we swapped, maybe we like to take care of each other's turf now and again? And who knows which one of us is lying?" Stephen joked with warm and pleasant humour. "Regardless, Sir Robert is delighted to have the original Coppernob back in this neck of the woods. He's a big fan you see. His Grandfather always told him stories of passing by the famous glasshouse on his way to London."

"This was never my neck of the woods, I never went over the channel to this island," Coppernob corrected him.

"That's right, you always sat in your glasshouse watching over the Furness Railway, a King in his castle," Stephen praised the Furness No.3. "Living a life of luxury, the dream."

"It was not," Coppernob argued. "The amount of dust that built up if one didn't get a competent boy to scrub myself and the glasshouse clean, absolutely appalling I tell you. Although I must admit, the boys at Barrow did a remarkably better job than the sloppy youths of today! These museum volunteers? Horrible!"

"Most of them are volunteers Nobby. They don't get paid to put up with you unlike those old porters and rail workers," Stanier called to him as he approached with Sir Robert in tow. "And most of them don't like being treated like servants when they're there to assist you during their spare time."

Coppernob scowled at Stanier and Sir Robert.

"They work for a museum, an establishment that prides itself on preserving the past," Coppernob explained annoyed. "They should have respect for the oldest preserved engines in their care."

"Oh they do," Stephen teased. "With me at least, but the other Stephen tells me that you're a right knob to deal with."

Evening Star who had been silently observing the two engines gave a soft snort of mirth with caused Coppernob to glare at her. She blushed and looked away avoiding the gaze of the old red engine.

"It's a punishment to clean Coppernob," Stanier laughed. "You should warn your staff about that, Sir Robert, or you could do what Lady Gresley does and get newbies on the job to test their conviction."

"Sending Green recruits to me, how irritating," Coppernob scoffed and Sir Robert chuckled.

"Oh don't you worry, I'm sure old Nobby will find something to complain about regardless," he smirked, deeply amused. "It's been a while Nobby, how are you? Excited to finally come over the bridge and be on this side of the channel?"

Coppernob surveyed the Earl then the exhibition hall around him. He had been expecting some sort of welcome and not just from the castle engines like Stephen or the little blue narrow gauge engine.

He had been expecting the Seagull. Number 20 always made a grand effort to see Coppernob whenever the rare opportunity to see each other came about.

He couldn't help but be somewhat offended when the Seagull hadn't shown up to greet him.

"Where is the Seagull?" He asked not even hiding the irritation in his voice. "Does he have no respect for his elder peers?"

Sir Robert put a hand to his beard and stroked it thoughtfully.

"We told him you would arrive this morning but he declined to be part of a welcoming party," the Earl explained curiously. "To be honest, Edward has had a history of out right refusing to participate in Furness events. The last time 20 came here, Edward wanted no part in it. He was gracious of course, but he was quite cold towards 20, it was strangely out of character for him."

Coppernob frowned deeply.

"I see," was all the Red Furness mused. "The Seagull is number 2 on this railway isn't he?"

"Yes he is," Stephen confirmed. "A charming and lovely chap if I do say so myself. A wonderful engine beloved by those on Sodor."

"He was the first Controller's first big engine!" The Earl exclaimed excitedly. "He has a special place on Sodor."

"I know about Number 2's history!" Coppernob snapped. "You do not have to explain it to me."

Stephen glanced at the Earl who seemed as equally as annoyed. Henry Stanier looked bored. Clearly this behaviour was commonplace for the old red Furness.

"His name is Edward," The Rocket insisted. "It was given to him by the first Sir Topham."

Coppernob just hummed to himself not listening to the yellow engine.

"Regardless, 'Edward' is one of the last remaining Furness Engines, he must display the values and customs of the railway that forged him," Coppernob insisted. "I do hope he taught these Sudrians a thing or two!"

Not wanting to argue with Coppernob, the Earl sent Stephen to start his tourist rides around the castle and left Stanier with the old engine.

"Have you considered that Edward might not want to carry on the values of the Furness Railway Nobby? After all he spent most of his life on the North Western," Stanier questioned him. Coppernob just gave a snort of distaste.

"The Furness built and raised him!" Coppernob insisted. "It would not be right for him to abandon his old railway so!"

Seeing that Coppernob would not be swayed from his stubborn ways, Stanier just put hisnhands up in defeat.

"I'm sure you'll see Edward at some point Nobby," he said as he turned to one of the hapless museum volunteers who had the very unfortunate luck of walking nearby. "You there! I need you to stop your tasks and get Coppernob ready to be presented to the public!"

"Yes sir, right away sir!" The young volunteer exclaimed brightly. The poor thing had no idea what they were in for. Stanier almost felt sorry for them.

Stanier instead turned to Evening Star who had been waiting patiently to be dismissed.

"I know you're excited to get started working here, Ms Venus but I have a small task for you first," he ordered.

Evening Star looked dejected for a moment but it quickly faded. Must not look ungrateful or insolent in front of Coppernob after all.

"There's an engine about to be released from the works and I need you to help run it in turns," Stanier explained. "It's a museum engine and Sodor is lacking in spare engines at the moment."

'Alright sir.'

"Very good Venus," Stanier smiled. "Of you go."

'May I ask who it is sir?'

"Of course Venus! It's Green Arrow."

A wide smile suddenly appeared on Evening Star's face and she became delighted.

Green Arrow? Her best friend she hadn't seen in literal decades?

Her wheels gave a little slip as she excitedly barrelled out of the museum with enthusiasm. Coppernob gave a tut of disapproval.

"Sloppy," the red engine scolded.

"Careful now!" Her driver called but she hadn't felt excited in years and ignored them.

Maybe Sodor wouldn't be as bad as she thought after all.

"For fuck's sake Grey!" Her brother's loud booming voice snapped angrily at her. "You talk nonstop when you're here! We've tried to put up with it for weeks now but you just won't shut up!"

Grey simply pouted at 3830 who had his brows furrowed in annoyance.

She simply wanted to talk and keep her mind occupied. If she didn't then the guilt of the crash would plague her thoughts and she didn't want to dwell on such painful things.

"I thought you liked my stories," she huffed at her younger brother.

"If I hear that story about Scotsman getting stuck on that fuckin' bank again I'm gonna fuckin' scream," 3265 or Hunter muttered from her other side.

"I'll tell you other stories then," Grey offered but Hunter groaned in pain.

"No, no! No more stories! We're stuck here under overhaul! We don't want to sit here and listen to you constantly earbash us to death!" Hunter shouted annoyed. "We've tried to be nice because of your accident but goddamn it I can't take this shit no more!"

Grey was upset at his words. She didn't want to be quiet. Being quiet was when the evil thoughts came.

3830 looked more sympathetic, however. He gazed at his sister with a worrisome gaze.

"Grey, I know you're struggling, I know that you're hurting, but we can't keep this up," 3830 tried to assure her. "If you want to talk about what's bothering you that's fine. But you can't constantly keep us up all night, every night until it suits you."

Grey looked away from her little brother and sniffed. She knew she was being selfish but she didn't want to talk about it. She just wanted the bad feelings to go away.

"I just like being friendly and chatting," she muttered but 3830 frowned at her, knowing she was lying.

"Grey-"

"I don't want to talk about it okay!" Grey suddenly snapped at him. "I just don't! So just drop it alright Jaxon!"

"Grey you can't keep hiding your issues away and acting like they don't exist!" 3830 shouted back at her. "You need to deal with these issues before they get out of hand!"

"Don't tell me what to do! You wouldn't know anything about what I'm going through!" Grey screamed at him while Hunter desperately wanted to disappear.

"Of course, I don't that's why I'm asking you to open up about it you fuckin' idiot!" Jaxon snarled back.

Before Grey could respond, the lights of the sheds flickered on and the foreman of the workshop had barged in.

"What's all this racket? What in the blazes is going on in here?!" He shouted at the engines.

"Grey won't shut up at night and we're sick of it!" Hunter explained.

"Grey I warned you about this," the foreman tutted and Grey looked at her buffers.

"I know but it's hard for me to… cope," she tried to defend herself but knew that she couldn't.

"We've done our best to accommodate you, Grey, we've given you every opportunity to speak to the medic engine or get you a therapist yet you won't agree to see them."

"I don't trust a stranger with my feelings!" Grey snapped. "And I'm not crazy!"

"I wasn't saying you were but you've been through a traumatic experience and need help. Why not your brother then?"

"He has a history of using my secrets against me or making fun of me!" Grey growled with a glare at Jaxon who glared back.

"Then we've given you every opportunity to use the resources at your disposal Grey," the foreman explained. "There's nothing we can help you with unless you decide to start helping yourself."

"I don't need help!" Grey shouted. "I'm fine! Stop spreading around the rumour that I'm crazy!"

"No one has called or insinuated that you are crazy Grey," the foreman reaffirmed. "But I cannot have you constantly disturbing these engines while they are under overhaul. This is a stressful time for them, I'm sure you understand."

Grey looked at her brother and then Hunter beside her before looking down at her buffers. She did often constantly talk to them till the early hours of the morning.

For the first time, she seemed to notice just how exhausted both engines appeared. There were dark, deep circles under their eyes and they seemed pale and gaunt.

She looked at her buffers sadly.

"Yeah okay," she mumbled, reluctantly accepting the foreman's reasoning. She glanced at her brother and Hunter. "See ya later I guess."

Grey quietly rolled out of the sheds without another word, Jaxon watching her leave worriedly.

Grey found an empty siding at the back of a busy yard where trains ran all night and all day. Her crew was concerned that it wasn't undercover and tried to get her to more to an empty shed at 3801 Limited but she refused.

She wanted to be around others and the huge diesels working the transcontinental lines would often come by now and again, their enormous trains shaking the rails and rattling along for kilometres. They'd greet her, confused at the sight of her but otherwise didn't question why an outdated steam engine was to be found in their huge industrial yard.

Most of them probably knew who she was from her accident anyway.

She didn't want to be alone, she needed to know other people were around. At least, in presence.

Maybe people didn't want to be around her though if she was only going to be a nuisance like her brother and Hunter said.

She didn't want to be a nuisance. She didn't want people to be turned away from her, she liked being around others. Being around others energised her and made her happy. Being alone made her sad and agitated.

'Not like anyone would want to be around a murderer anyway…'

Grey made a sharp intake of breath and squeezed her eyes shut as tightly as she could.

That damn voice of self-doubt was back.

'I'm not a murderer, many things led to that accident.'

'Yet had you been fitted with sand removal like a proper engine the signal wouldn't have faulted.'

Grey gave a whine of pain. She wanted to little voice filled with her self-doubt to go away.

'Stop it.'

'I wouldn't be here if it wasn't your fault.'

'Shut up go away!' Grey shouted angrily, opening her eyes, sniffing from a runny nose and tears running down her face.

A few of the huge diesels nearby had noticed her outburst and were looking in her direction now. Her cheeks went red with embarrassment and she avoided their gaze.

"You alright there miss?" One of them called in a gruff but friendly voice.

"Yes I'm fine," she answered, her tone of voice saying otherwise.

The huge diesel glanced at his friend and the two conferred with each other not believing her in the slightest.

'They think you're insane.' the voice sneered at her and Grey fought back the sudden tears welling up in her eyes.

Maybe she was.

Grey grit her teeth and glares at the rails in front of her angrily. She was vaguely aware of one of the huge diesels approaching her but ignored them.

"Come on old girl, let's get you to a shed instead of out here in a filthy yard," the diesel spoke to her gently.

"No, I don't want to be alone," she weakly protested but the diesel was already buffered up and ready to couple up to her. Before they could, however, she suddenly hissed steam and willed herself to move of her own accord.

"HEY STOP!" She heard the diesel yell in surprise at her sudden movement.

"Stop you're going to hit the trap!" The diesel shouted at her but Grey was blinded by fear and blasted herself backwards until she suddenly felt her tender back wheels hit the trap points and derail with a horrible crunch of metal twisting and ballast being thrown everywhere.

Grey sat there in complete shock, her mind unable to process what had just happened.

'You're such a worthless engine,' the voice in her mind mocked her and Grey felt her mind break at that final, last insult.

She screamed a deafening cry of anguish, which terrified the diesel and those around her as she felt the weight of months of pain crush her boiler and smother her fire.

Sorry for the wait. Going through some stuff. Updates may come less regularly.