Wendip 8/29/24

Shenanigans

Wendy and Dipper were sleeping in their bed in the Shack's attic, peacefully sleeping as the morning light showed through the window and gently created up their blanket-covered forms. The nearby alarm clock said 7, but neither was hurrying to get up. It's summer vacation, and what's the point if you can't sleep in?

CRASH

BANG

BOOM

"Tag! You're it!"

Of course, when you are the parents of 4-year-old twins in Gravity Falls, peace and quiet are impossible outside your dreams.

"Time to get up, Dipper."

"Nothing's on fire yet, and I hear nothing about blood. Soos is down there, so it's fine."

"Don't touch that laser, Tyrone! Stay away from the monster plant, Tylor! Peter, how's breakfast coming along?"

"The pancakes have come to life and are trying to eat me, the milk is acting like it's in zero-Gs, the fruit sprouted vine tentacles and is turning the kitchen into a forest, and the bacon combined into a zombie cow that mom is now fighting off with a rolling pin!"

Dipper just hugged his wife closer. "See, everything is under control."

The two then drifted back into dreamland as chaos ravaged the kitchen.

Breakfast table

After getting ready for the day, the Dipper and Wendy walked down the stairs and into the kitchen, where the rest of the family sat at the shack's table that morning.

Tyler and Tyrone were the next generations of Pine's twins, and as part of a ritual to keep the Fay from using their names to steal them away, they were given similar-sounding names with identical initials. Tyler's red hair was in pigtails, and she held onto a stuffed axolotl she named "Danny." Tyron, on the other hand, had hair that looked like his sister cut it with a lawn mower, which is what happened yesterday when a passing comet made them temporarily invincible.

Soos, Melody, and their son Peter sat at the table next to them. Soos's face and shirt were covered with marks of a food fight, and his arms had some bandaids over some minor injuries he received keeping the kids occupied while his wife and son were making breakfast. Melody was nursing a black eye from a lucky kick from the zombie cow and had a slight limb from when she had to kick the rolling pin she dropped into the zombie's head.

Fifteen-year-old Peter, the youngest of Soos and Melody's seven kids was still wearing his favorite fire, bullet, knife, bomb, teeth, lightning, and dog-proof vest from when he made breakfast. He would put it in the laundry before putting on his business one before volunteering at the animal shelter. Hopefully, they could get those dragon hatchlings back to their mom soon.

As everyone began to dig into the food before them, Dipper couldn't help but look around.

"Say, where is everyone else?"

"Abuleta and the Stan bros are at the bingo hall to deal with a new Summerwein Trickster beginning to form from their toffee peanuts."

Melody nodded at her husband's response before continuing herself. "As for our kids, Simon got abducted by aliens while getting the mail, Paul tripped onto a roller-skate and fell into the bottomless pit, Andrew got hit by a beam from a size-shifting crystal a bird was carrying before being picked up by a hawktopus, James is probably still with his boyfriend Smasheraur, John was grabbed by an entity in the mirror and dragged into it, and Sam-orc-rai kidnaped Philip."

Dipper was about to respond when the coffee pot started beeping. He then poured some coffee for himself and the other adults.

"So I should make another pot for them, but not pour them cups yet?"

"Exactly. They should start showing up soon, though."

A small yelp followed by a crash was heard from the bathroom to prove Melody right. Soon after that, John walked into the room. After a quick hello and a cup of coffee, he sat down and piled breakfast onto his plate.

Tyrone and Tyler had finished their breakfast enough to focus on their parents.

"When are we going to the museum?"

"Yeah! I wanna see the dinosaurs!"

Dipper reached over and patted Tyler on the head. "Buddy, you rode on the back of a dragon yesterday. Do you want to see some bones?"

Tyler pouted at her dad. "Dragons are not dinosaurs; dinosaurs are cooler!"

Dipper chuckled. "The museum doesn't open until 10. We still have some time before we can go. How about seeing your Aunts Mable and Pacifica and your cousins Terry and Mat?"

Tyrone was nodding his head like a bobblehead. "And Waddles! And McG! And Aunt Candy! And Aunt Grenda! And Uncle Marcus! And Aunt Tambry! And Uncle Robbie! And Cousin Alex! And Mr. Gleeful! And Blendin! And-"

"Hold on there, Tyrone! We don't have time to see everyone we know in town before the museum opens. Besides, we'll be here all summer. We can see some of them later."

Dipper nodded at his wife. "She's right, and Grenda and Marcus are currently in Switzerland helping with-"

"Cheesemaking?"

As the twins descended into giggles, Dipper gave them a small sigh. "Maybe, but they are also helping with a very big meeting with some very smart people about how to use money to help people. They should be back by Summerwein, though."

The two cheered at the reminder of their second favorite holiday.

"All right, now that you're done with your breakfast, how about I play with you while the others eat up and your cousins pile in?"

The twins nodded and jumped out of their chairs, grabbing their mom's hands and pulling her into the living room.

Dipper smiled at them as they left before turning back to the rest of the table.

"Just to double check, the curse Egyptian mummy was sent back? I don't want a repeat of the last time I was there."

John nodded before reaching into his hair and pulling out a small shard of glass that had gotten stuck during his bathroom misadventure. "I loaded it onto the truck and took it to the airport last night. It should be on a plane to Egypt first thing tomorrow morning." He then turned to his dad. Did you remember to call the Egyptian government to warn them about it?"

Soos smiled. "Sure did, John-bone. I made sure the Prime Minister knew to return that mummy to his daddy's tomb immediately and to seal it up nice and tight."

After that, they continued to talk about the day's plans while Wendy distracted the kids, and the rest of Ramerez's brood wandered in.

Gravity Falls History Musume

As soon as the doors opened, Tyler and Tyrone rushed toward the dinosaurs and the Northwest room, respectively.

"Mommy-son bonding day?"

"Daddy-Daughter bonding day."

The parents kissed quickly before splitting off to cover the two kids.

Dipper and Tyler

As soon as Dipper got to his daughter, he grabbed her and lifted her before putting her on his shoulder.

"Can you see better now?"

"Yeah! Thanks, Daddy!" She then frowned a little. "Why doesn't mommy do this inside?"

"Because she's afraid that with her height, you'll end up banging your head on the ceiling. Even if you wore a hard hat, you could still end up breaking the ceiling, and the museum doesn't want a new skylight yet."

Tyler then began to giggle, soon finding her giggles being mimicked by the Stegosaurus.

"Hay Daddy! McGucket made the dinosaurs giggle!"

Dipper looked at the head of the Stegasaurus, its jaw moving in time with the laughter. He then looked at the sign before it to see if it had any moving parts, as was the local law, to make spotting possessions easier.

After seeing that it wasn't supposed to move, Dipper signed, stepped back to sit Tyler on the floor, and placed both hands on her shoulders.

"Hay Tyler, did I mention that McGucket had a robot dinosaur that can talk installed?"

Her eyes widened in amazement. "Where?"

"Over by the bathrooms. Why don't you look while I do a check-up on this one?"

She instantly ran off toward the bathroom, leaving Dipper to pull out the lightsaber Ford had made as a wedding gift to him.

It had a blade that could be adjusted in length from one foot to three feet and in width from half an inch to two inches. The temperature was hot enough to rival plasma cutters, but thanks to some magnetic shielding, the heat didn't set anything else on fire. Said magnetic shielding and heat also helped the blade deflect bullets fired at the wield, which Dipper had discovered on his honeymoon when the time pirates returned.

He smiled as he ignited it. Maybe he should go back to the Time Island soon? He and Wendy were thinking about maybe having more kids, and what better place to make more than where they made the first batch?

As the stegosaurus walked off the stage toward Dipper, flesh began covering the bones. Before Dipper's eyes, the entire dinosaur before him turned from an animated skeleton to a living dinosaur once more. If it weren't for the glowing eyes, human laughter, and flaming spikes on its tail, Dipper would have thought it came from the amber caves in the mines instead of the cursed or possessed skeleton it was.

When Robbie and Tambry walked into the room with their kid Alex, they decided to try the Northwest room instead.

Wendy and Tyrone.

Wendy and Tyrone happily walk through the museum section dedicated to Northwest's family legacy. Pacifica put a lot of effort into ensuring it was accurate and not another propaganda piece that made her family look all-powerful and benevolent.

Tyrone didn't care for that and just liked looking at the little mechanical puppet shows McGucket and Mable worked to reenact said historical events.

Wendy kept a close eye on the puppets in case they decided to rise and overthrow their human oppressors or got possessed by the souls of those the Northwests wronged seeking revenge. There was also the chance that both would happen, but when they did, the two sides usually ended up in a small-scale war, wiping each other out. Their banding together to try and take over the town had only happened once since the booths were made compared to the dozens of times for the other possibilities.

"Look, Mommy! The goat is glowing red and chanting!"

Hun, it looks like a demonic invasion. That's a new one for a Sunday.

She then tapped Tyrone's shoulder and pointed to a bathroom.

"Hay, I just remembered that McGucket said he had a robot dinosaur that can talk installed near the bathrooms?"

Tyrone's eyes lit up as he raced to the bathroom as fast as his legs could.

When the door closed, Wendy reached into her large bag of childcare supplies and fingered the hatches she had stored there.

Let's see, normal, cold iron, silver - there's the holy one!

Wendy then pulled out the small hatchet made by forging meteoric iron ore mined from consecrated ground by a priest, cooled in holy water, and having the names of all twelve apostles etched into the blade's sides. The shaft was similarly hewn from a tree that grew and was cut down on consecrated ground, and Jeremiah 51:20 caved onto it. The pommel of the shaft had a bone from Saint Joan of Arc embedded into it.

It was a pain to get, but the week spent hunting down those twelve demons so the pope could stop the apocalypse was worth it.

The small mechanical goat tore itself free from the display and grew as large as a horse. Wings sprouted from its back, claws sprang from its hoves, and fire bellowed from its mouth. It turned to look Wendy in the eye, with the two standing ready for battle.

When the Valentino family walked into the room, they all decided to get ice cream instead of checking out the museum that day.

Lunchtime

The family sat in Greasey with a plan to celebrate their victory with waffles. Sure, Dipper had a nasty gash on his arm, while Wendy had a broken rib, but in spite of those minor injuries, they had still been able to defeat the two creatures without anyone else getting hurt and with minimum property damage.

After their epic battles, they called Ford and asked him to examine the remains and figure out what had happened while Stan did the repairs.

Tyrone and Tyler both had a blast with the talking dinosaur, which answered any and all questions the four-year-olds had about dinosaurs and robots for two straight hours. The dinosaur also altered its appearance between several forms of dinosaurs every fifteen minutes to help keep the kids interested.

When Susan walked over to take their orders, she looked over them curiously.

"Well, don't you two look like you have been through the wringer?"

The two parents looked at each other before answering.

"Not really; it's been a boring day so far."

"Just to check, the confetti waffles don't have actual confetti in them? I have had bad experiences with Mable's cooking."

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Happy Wendip week 2024!

I have a if you want to support me and my New Year's resolution of posting one fanfic of 2k words or more weekly. This is also being posted on , AO3, and Tumbler.

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