10) Chance
Lots of pining and missed opportunities.
For days afterwards, Róisín turned James' and Lily's words over in her head.
Amelia's not his type... he's too polite to turn her down.
Just ask him out! The worst that he can say is no!
She had only just met them, but she had no reason to think they'd be playing a cruel joke on her. They seemed like a perfectly nice, normal couple, and she definitely trusted James having worked with him on the Auror training programme. Lily, too, seemed like a lovely and charming person and already Róisín wanted to be her friend. She had kind, welcoming green eyes, and overall just gave a very good, positive vibe. Róisín wondered what the three friends were like at school together - having already heard about some of their shenanigans in the wild stories Sirius and James would tell the class, she had a decent idea.
Today, she found herself at her and Cynthia's house, studying in the living room. She still had a massive amount of coursework to catch up on, and she didn't want to get distracted by the gorgeous English summer outside. May was nearly over, and the exams were fast approaching. At least she would be able to postpone her practical exams because of her injury, but she needed to catch up on the theoretical elements too. Dueling in the Dark was her weakest class, given how much practical knowledge students needed to excel. For the sake of her own confidence, she focused on Potions and Antidotes instead - or at least, as long as her own distracted mind would allow, before she inevitably found herself gazing out at the bright blue sky outside the window, wishing that she had taken Cynthia up on the idea of brunch with some girls from their class instead of staying at home to study.
Almost as soon as she had that thought, Cynthia came bursting into the house, flinging her shoes into a corner and throwing her jacket down on the couch. Startled, Róisín looked up from her coursework: Cynthia's mouth was agape, and she shouted, "Oh! My! God!"
"What? What happened?" Róisín asked.
"Sirius broke up with Amelia!" Cynthia cried, stilll huffing. She had obviously ran home to tell Róisín.
"Oh my god!" Róisín replied, shocked. She sat down on the sofa, and Cynthia collapsed down next to her.
"Well, they weren't even technically a couple, from the sounds of it," Cynthia breathed, casting a spell to refill her water bottle with ice cold water, which she began to chug. "Amelia gathered all of us at brunch and began by telling us that she was 'over Sirius' and when we asked what happened, she told us that she thought they were basically an item, so when she made a move and asked him out on a proper date - like, not just coffee, but a real date - he said that he didn't feel the same way anymore - apparently, he said that there was someone else he was more interested in!"
"So, what, he's just been stringing her along this whole time?" Róisín asked.
"I honestly don't think he's the type - but I really get the feeling that Amelia was building mountains out of molehills with him, like reading more romantic meaning into every little thing he did," Cynthia replied, in a reassuring tone. "Like, one time she asked if they could meet for extra tutoring, and he offered to meet her after class - then she suggested a coffee, which he agreed to, and she seemed surprised when he kept bringing the conversation back to the course content."
"So she was more into him than he was," Róisín said.
"I don't think he was ever into her at all, to be honest!" Cynthia replied. "You saw them at the club the other night, didn't you? Her hands were all over him, but he never reciprocated. The entire time you were at the bar with James and his wife, Sirius kept looking over at you. Speaking of, what did you and James and Lily talk about?"
"Nothing much, they told me about their baby boy, her pregnancy, that kind of thing, but..." Róisín trailed off, feeling a blush rising in her cheeks. "The bartender I kissed gave the game away about Sirius and they found out, and then they started encouraging me to take a shot at him, saying all this stuff about 'Amelia's not his type' and 'the worst he can say is no'."
Cynthia smacked Róisín's arm and gawked. "Well, they're not wrong! Everyone can see it but you!"
"I keep telling you - I'm not looking for a relationship!" Róisín replied, rubbing her arm where Cynthia had smacked her. "Why is everyone obsessed with setting us up?!"
"Because you two would make an adorable couple! He's tall and gorgeous, you're short and cute, you're a perfect fit. Besides, with everything going in in the world, you know with the war and everything, why not have some fun?" Cynthia's tone turned serious. "We don't know what tomorrow, or next week, or next month will bring us. Life will slip you by if you spend your whole time obsessing over the future, over grades, over your career-"
"My career matters to me though!" Róisín said seriously. "I can't afford to get distracted - I need to keep on top of it all, to make this training count so that I can get ahead and I can actually protect people. The higher up I go, the more influence I can have - I can't climb the career ladder with a man tied to me!"
"You can have the best of both worlds! Why don't you trust yourself? Sirius is right for you - look at the way you two get on - you'd be perfect together. He's in the exact same line of work as you - you should think of that as an asset. He understands better than any other guy could - he would never make you put him first, because he can't afford to be distracted either, not with this war going on."
"Well, that's another thing... what's to say that he would even be a good boyfriend?" Róisín asked halfheartedly. "If he's so focused on his job too, why should I think he would pay me any attention?"
"If he doesn't, then break up with him! Simple as that!" Cynthia replied.
"Okay, fine... well what if I ask him out and he says no? Róisín begged. "I don't want to put my heart on the line like that, just for him to reject me... I really like him, Cynthia."
"He won't," Cynthia grinned, wrapping a comforting arm around her friend. "Take it from James and Lily, his two best friends, if you won't take it from me. He likes you - I can tell from the way he looks at you. Just promise me you'll at least ask him out for dinner or a movie or something."
"There is an ABBA tribute band playing in the city in a couple weeks..."
"That's perfect! You can ask him to that, and if he says no, then you have your answer, and you can put me out of my misery!" Cynthia laughed.
Over the next week, Róisín tried multiple times to corner Sirius and ask him out, every time to no avail. The first time, the day after talking to Cynthia, she tried to approach him while he was at the water cooler in the office - but another Auror got there too fast and began what looked like a serious discussion about a case, distracting Sirius. Róisín had awkwardly sidestepped the water cooler and returned sheepishly to her desk.
The second time, she tried in the staff canteen. She spotted he was last in the queue with a wooden tray in his hands, sliding it along the countertop and picking up a couple bottles of soda and a muffin as he went along. She made a beeline, but not before another, more senior staff member butted in front of her, and she lost her place in the queue. This staff member was promptly joined by a gaggle of their own colleagues, and she was pushed several more places down the queue. By the time she was approaching the counter, Sirius was already paying for his lunch and was making his way to a table with his colleagues (which, on this occasion, included James).
Having finally paid for her lunch, Róisín tried to find a table. She spotted a few of her classmates at a table beyond Sirius', and while making her way over there, she heard James calling her name.
"Róisín!" he said, motioning for her to join their table. "Come here, pull up a chair."
Gingerly, she sat down opposite James, with Sirius on her left. James sounded cheerful, but she noted the sunken look in his eyes, his grey skin. He looked sickly, or perhaps stressed. Sirius meanwhile sat relaxed in his chair, looking at Róisín with those soft grey eyes she had come to adore, twirling his moustache around his finger. Also sat at the table were Rivers, Mad-Eye Moody, and Shacklebolt, and another handful of wizards she didn't recognise.
"Sirius..." Róisín began, and Sirius perked up, "I wanted to ask you something..." she trailed off. She couldn't ask him now, not with his colleagues sat all around them!
"What is it?" he asked. James beamed at Róisín expectantly.
"Er..." she stuttered, feeling her face go red again. Her mouth wouldn't work, and she thought how silly she must look, agape like a fish. Sirius had caught her off guard, looking exceptionally gorgeous in a velvet black waistcoat and crisp white shirt, today his long hair being pulled into a half up half down bun.
"What's up?" he asked again, leaning forward and propping his elbows up on the table. She caught a whiff of his cologne, sweet and woody.
"It's nothing," she replied shyly, retreating behind her cup of coffee and taking a long sip. "Just an exam question, but you're the wrong person to ask anyway, so..."
For a short moment, he looked like he could have been disappointed - but the look passed, and so did the moment. She exchanged a glance with James, who looked disappointed, but who gave her a warm smile.
"Róisín," called Mad-Eye Moody from across the table, "how are you enjoying the training programme?"
Róisín, slightly startled by his booming voice, but glad of the distraction, replied, "I like it, I'm really enjoying it and living in London is lovely too."
"You know there's jobs up for grabs at the end of the programme next year, right?" Moody asked, giving her an expectant look. "You can apply once you've finished the course - you're our star student, I don't mind saying, and I'll be expecting an application from you!"
Róisín felt her stomach twist: had the celebrity Auror Mad-Eye Moody really just called her the star student?!
That conversation occupied her thoughts for days, making her almost forget that she had approached that table to talk to Sirius in the first place.
Her final, futile attempt to ask Sirius out happened at his desk. It was a busy Thursday afternoon, and the office was packed with eager working energy, Aurors wanting to get to the weekend as soon as possible. En route back from the coffee maker, a cup of warm coffee in her hand, Róisín had decided to stop by Sirius' desk to ask him on a date to the ABBA tribute band the following weekend.
Sirius was hunched over case files, holding a magnifying glass up to a small photo of a tall, dark haired individual wearing a long, black cloak. Róisín knew it was wrong to look at other people's case files, but she couldn't resist the temptation to examine the photo over Sirius' shoulder. Whoever it was, it seemed to be making Sirius anxious judging by the incessant tapping of his foot off the floor. Maybe it was a bad time to talk to him.
Before she could make up her mind, Sirius shut the file and slammed it down onto the desk, letting out an exasperated sigh. She took her moment - clearing her throat, she approached him and softly tapped his shoulder, before walking around to face him, leaning one leg against his desk.
"You alright?" she asked, putting her coffee down on his desk.
Sirius sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Just a tricky case... Can't get a reading on this individual."
"Can I help?" Róisín asked, glancing down at the case file, which Sirius hurriedly covered with his hand.
"No - this is highly confidential," he said plainly. Then his face softened, and he added, "Thanks, though."
"I understand, don't worry," Róisín smiled. "Coffee?" she slid the cup across the desk.
"For me?" Sirius looked surprised, and Róisín nodded, making a mental note to return to the coffee maker later on to get herself another mug. Sirius gladly took a long sip, making a soft, happy noise as he savored the flavours.
"Where did you learn to make coffee this good?" he asked with a grin, "I'm serious - you make the best brew of anyone in this office. They should keep you on full time."
Róisín smiled shyly, looking down. "I've just always been good with coffee. That, and I worked in a Muggle coffee shop when I was a teenager."
"Yeah, that probably had something to do with it," Sirius laughed, and Róisín chuckled.
She realised that this was the longest conversation they'd held since the incident in the training hall, when Sirius had nearly kissed her. For a long, lingering moment, they held each other's gaze, Sirius enjoying another sip of coffee and Róisín feeling all warm and fuzzy that he liked her coffee so much. This time, she spotted a similar tired energy in him, like what she had noticed in James earlier that week.
"Are you alright?" she asked softly, lowering her voice, and her body slightly towards him.
Sirius gave an attempt at a half smile, and shrugged, and said, "Yeah, I'm just so exhausted from work. I need a night off... Or maybe a night out, I don't know."
This was it, this was her chance - she opened her mouth, reached into her back pocket to pull out the ABBA tribute tickets, before she was cut off by a more senior Auror - Shacklebolt - shouting Sirius' name across the room. Startled, Sirius leapt up from his chair, shot Róisín an apologetic look, and followed Shacklebolt and Moody and some other senior Aurors into a conference room.
Deflated, Róisín returned to her desk and slumped down into her chair, gloomily beginning to flick through some case files that she'd already covered. She took the tickets out of her pocket and stared at them, not knowing what to do anymore. Maybe she should just give up, she clearly wasn't going to get a good chance to speak to him alone...
The rest of the afternoon passed slowly, Róisín taking the time to comb through old case files for previously missed clues. A wizard accused of deliberately setting fire to his shop for insurance purposes - another one found guilty of illegally brewing and selling potions without a license - a witch who had apparently been shoplifting for months on end before being caught... The files were boring, but Róisín was glad of the opportunity for some easy work, given the challenging course material.
Slowly, the office began to empty, until it was dark outside and Róisín and Sirius were the only two remaining. She spotted Sirius rising from his desk, stretching out a knot in his back, and begin to pack up his belongings. He gave her a nod and a smile on his way out, and she said a quiet, "Goodbye," as he left.
Finally all alone in the office, Róisín folded her arms on the table in front of her and rested her head on them as if on a pillow. She decided to give herself just five minutes to rest her head before she would also go home. However, this was cut short by the sound of something landing on her desk. Startled, she looked up and spotted an enchanted paper airplane in front of her face.
Confused, she scanned the room to confirm she was alone, which she definitely was. Apprehensively, she opened out the airplane, revealing the message:
Dinner with me? This weekend? PS thanks for the coffee! -Sirius xx