An: I own nothing. First fanfic I've written as well so I maybe rusty at this. Let's get started.

"This is Mr. New Vegas, reminding you that, along with Deano', you're nobody 'til somebody loves you. And that somebody is me. I love you…"

[OST Begin - You're Nobody till Somebody Loves You.]

Location: ? (Six's POV)

Time: ?

Mr. New Vegas... Even when I'm in some new area of the wastes or not even close to House's jewel of the Mojave from some fuck up on the Transportalponder, my ancient Pipboy 2k somehow still picks him up.. sigh. Guess I'll start from the beginnin'…

My name is Courier Six, or "Junior" to my squad. You're probably wondering what in the hell's going on? Truth be told I loose track from all the killing and brahmin shit I see out there in the Mojave. Thanks a-lot Benny. Fuckin' prick... Now, them NCR boys always wish for a nuclear winter, I wish for some fucking sanity.

I've met a super mutant that can only say "Mothafucka", heard Mr. New Vegas switching from his normal songs to literal animated movie holotape recordings, and seen what I can describe as a "Gun fetish addict" Ranger arguing with a first recon soldier on some pre-war camp in former Louisiana. And this is coming from the same fucker who survived "Schizo Elijah's Wild Ride" in the ol' Madre! I BARELY WALKED OUT ALIVE WITH ALL'A THOSE 37 BARS FOR FUCK SAKES!

Anyways 'nough ranting, where was I? Ah! Yes.

In this weird situation I do remember! The answer? It's Legion Assassins. Yeah even after pushing their asses back with Mr. House and leaving a .45-70 calling card to both Caesar and Lanius, they somehow have enough men to try and take my head... Again. Now, usually I'd topple over 'em with a few quick shots via my Sequoia, but the bastards somehow hit the Transportalponder. Result of that sucked me and my companions up into a damn void.

After laying on the ground biding my time on what to do next, I pulled myself up and noticed several things wrong.

First, the trees. They're alive. 'Mean sure there's a few spots in the wastes that have alive 'uns, but this was an entire damn forest late into autumn with live trees. The ambience don't help neither cause instead of the usual gunshots or horde of pissed cazadores, it's pre-war forestry animals. And finally, to top it all off, the only Companions around me right now are Raul and ED-E.

Deciding to not wait any longer, I whipped out my 1911 and faced it upwards befor- BANG~ BANG~

"AIY! IM SORRY PETRO CHI- Oh... Sólo eres tu Jefe." Raul tiredly exclaimed mid sentence as I help him up. "Sorry, Raul" I replied, "Had to wake ya up somehow."

"It's fine b- wait... ¿Dónde diablos estamos jefe?" The ghoul asked. Naturally after holstering the "1911 alarm", I tried looking into my Pip-Boy's map but only got an error message. "I have zero clue but we're in deep water now. There's no satellite connection on here." I slowly groaned before continuing.

"Being quite honest Raul but from the looks of things, it seems like we're in pre-war... Europe? Hell if I know." I took one more look at my surroundings making mental notes of the area whilst trudging towards ED-E. "I never ventured far out of Mexico before the war Boss, but I'll surely take your word for it." The Ghoul teased.

"Yeah right..." I snickered before continuing "Anyways, once I'm done rebooting ED-E, we're moving out. Hope to the lord we can find some damn road or village..." I replied before looking downwards at the Eye-Bot. "sigh... Sure hope the rest of our crew's ok." [END OST]

Location: A village full of "Little People"

Time: ?

In a little town not far from where Six and Raul landed, a makeshift wedding is being prepared. Men were slowly setting up the festivities, a band was checking their instruments, and a triplet of blondes were tear-dropping like hell. In the middle of these festivities, best described by future historians and internet users as "the 'literally me' of Disney characters", is Gaston. Dressed up and groomed to perfection, ready to propose to a certain brunette.

Hiding behind the laughter and crying however, was a man in bandages trying to blend amongst the forestry. His hands gripped on an ivory Pistol.

The festival preparation suddenly halts, as Gaston directs their attention to him.

"I'd like to thank you all for coming to my Wedding." He started, sounding enthusiastic. 'Everything's set. Nothing can mess this up now!' He thought.

"But first I better go in there.. And propose to the girl." He joked back. the townsfolk start to laugh whilst the town's 'bimbettes' start bawling even more. The bandaged man however, was disgusted and gripped onto his pistol more as he silently continued to watch the scene unfold.

"AND YOU, Lefou." Gaston continued. Pulling his small sidekick up from the ground. "Now when Belle and I come out that door..."

"OH I KNOW! I KNOW!" Lefou Interrupted, "I'll Strike up the Band!" The "band" started playing a crudely done "Here Comes the Bride" snippet with Lefou conducting.

It was quickly shot down not five seconds later after Gaston rammed Lefou with a literal tuba. "NOT. YET. He sneered.

"P'sforry." His small friend quipped through the tuba hole as Gaston starts to knock on the supposed girl's home.

The armed figure, who watched the scene from afar, was widened on how close he is to a certain... Monster. "I've seen unholy things in my time on the Legion.. But that man is walking the same path as Lanius... God help the girl's soul." The figure whispered nothing more as just a few minutes later, as Gaston flies out of the house, shoeless into a muddy pond. The band from earlier playing the same crude snippet in full force.

"Hmph… At least she's smart." He said. Then paused and focused on Gaston angrily marching away. "Doesn't seem like it'll be end of it... Best to think about it later." The figure muttered, then turned his eyes turning back towards the house.

An hour or two after the party split up, a new figure appeared. A brunette young woman, somewhere in her early 20s in a rural pre-war dress. It's Belle. She poked her head out the door, nervous if anyone was still there. "Is he gone?" She whispered. Not noticing the figure in the woods.

"Can you imagine?" She rambled out loud to nobody in sight. "He asked me to marry him.. ME! The 'wife' of that boorish. Brainless.." Belle droned on before starting to... Sing?

"Where in Zion is that music coming from?" The figure thought. His eyes darted around in confusion before focusing back at the girl as he starts moving towards the nearby ledge. However, the girl started raising her singing voice up as she starts to run right in the vicinity of his new hiding spot.

"I want adventure in the great wide somewhere… I wanted more than I can tell~" Belle sang, singing out loud like it's a musical. She starts to crouch down to the ground, not noticing the man staring in absolute confusion at the random song number.

"And for once it might be…" She stops. As she starts noticing the mysterious figure abrupting her song number.

For a few seconds nothing happened.. Until Belle started backing up in fright. "JÉSUS-CHRIST PENDANT COMBIEN DE TEMPS REGARDEZ-VOUS!? AND WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE, MONIEUR!?" Belle exclaimed, noticing the figure's mummified face.

"I'm awfully sorry about that child." The man calmly started, "But I didn't want to scare anyone in this unfamiliar land. Lord knows what they'll think about seeing my... Enemy's former Legate..." He finished, as he walked a bit closer to her. Holstering the Short Barreled 1911 into his belt..

"I hope you understand.." He apologized whilst he helped her up from the ground.

"I- It's fine Monsieur… it's just that I thought you were Gasto-" Belle stopped as the burned man was about to say something when a horse started rushing to the two carrying a cart. "Is that a horse?" Joshua muttered. Many wastelanders thought Horses were extinct. Yet here was one panting like the creature's seen Lanius.

"Phillippe! What are you doing he- Where's… Where's Papa?" She asked, interrupting Joshua's train of thought. "Where is he Phillipe, you have to take me to him. NOW!" Belle, panicking, starts unhooking the horse from its load and starts to grab onto it.

"Phillipe, wait!" Belle exclaimed to her horse, stopping her steed as Belle looks back to the mummified stranger. "I'm sorry. But I need to go. My papa's in danger a-"

"It's alright child. Mind if I tag along? I lost track of the rest of my flock as well. It'll be best if we work together. Like Moses to the Hebrews of Egypt, escaping their Tormentors" He answered. Confusing Belle on his holy bible references. "Mon Dieu. He really must be religious..." She thought.

"Euh… Bien sûr!" Belle exclaimed. Then realized something. "Wait!" She shouted "I forgot to introduce myself. My name's Belle! What's yours?" She asked nervously.

"My Name... Is Joshua Graham. The former Malpais Legate of Caesar's Legion. Though, known to many now in The Mojave, as The Burned Man." Joshua announced, noting Belle's body shiver at his judgmental attitude.

"Now let us hurry. If we start walking to your father's location, we'll be able to avoid the wolves lurking in those forests. I spotted a few before finding this village but avoided them. If they try to intervene however, We can't expect God to do all the work." He finished, with a bit of venom in his tone as Belle and her new "companion" start their journey into the woods.

Location: Central Pennsylvania?

Time: ?

Across the pond, in another small town this time located along the Juniata River, a small Immortal sentry bot from hell plummets into a wooden house. The occupants, A middle aged married couple both in 1910s attire, startled by the noise started screaming at each other.

"JIM DEAR." The 'wife' Screamed. "SOMETHING JUST FELL THROUGH THE HOUSE. GET THE TRENCH STICK, NOW!"

Her husband, presumably the man next to her with brown hair and a neatly combed mustache rushes out of bed towards his Trench-Gun he kept from his time in the army before running downstairs to body block their dogs from entering the room the sentry bot fell into.

"I KNOW ELIZABETH" He said, "TAKE LADY AND THE PUPS OUT BACK-" His sentence was cut off when the sentry bot suddenly started to boot up with what sounded like a windows XP computer startup noise.

"GRRRRAI FUCKING HATE ROMAN LARPERS!~ WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON THOSE COCK SUCKING FAILUR... WAIT. WAIT A FUCKING SECOND.WHERE THE FUCK AM I!? WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TWO FUTURE MEAT BAG- HOLY FUCKING SHIT MY SCANNER'S ARE DETECTING A LITTER OF ADORABLE PUPPIES. RAAAAAAAA-"

The sentry robot's voice suddenly gets cut off and starts to play another voice instead. "HELLO VALUED CARTOON CHARACTERS! YOU HAVE SOMEHOW MANAGED TO OVERRIDE THE COMBAT ROUTINES AND MADE HIM OVERLY AGGRESSIVE ON ANYTHING THAT IS CONSIDERED ADORABLE TOWARDS THIS LOVEABLE IMMORTAL SENTRY BOT FROM HELL. MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON US ALL. THIS HAS BEEN A RobCo PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUCEMNT!"

The couple, now named Jim and Elizabeth only can start exclaiming "WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING!?" in unison whilst watching in confusing horror on Billy making a dash towards the couple's dogs.

AN: Howdy. Now you maybe wondering "What in the fuck did I just read?" simple. Ya know that 16-no, 31 million word Loud House X-Over fic? The one with self inserting, Chris-Hansen'ing ships, and copy pasted text of wikipedia articles and random cartoon characters in Pearl Harbor or 9/11?

This is my half-assed parody of it. Filled with pure unhinged crazy ideas, Wild-Wasteland shit posts, ships that make me want to shoot-myself but work, 250 Plugin Modded Fallout New Vegas Bugs and Shilling (I'm pals with some of the devs of Another Millenia for example), and god knows what other memes I can thing of I can put into fic format. Including a certain baby clone of an Austrian Mustache Man

So buckle in and be ready. Because once you join in here,the ride never ends.