Fire crackled in the moonlight, its snapping and popping sound damaging the stillness. The heat of the flames washed over Balyn as they clawed at the walls of the old building.

He ignored them. They'd been doing that for what seemed like hours now without so much as budging an inch or consuming a fragment of wood. The Workshop was alight, but it wasn't actually burning. Maybe dream fire didn't burn.

No, Laurence had a few counterpoints to that idea, he thought. The First Vicar had definitely overdone it when it came to staying toasty warm. A couple of logs, maybe a mug of hot cocoa, those would have been more than enough…

Wait, where was I?

"Good hunter, what troubles you?"

"Yaaah!"

Balyn jerked bolt upright at the unexpected voice. His boot-heel landed on a discarded piece of clothing (one of those shawls, he thought; the Healing Church getting one last shot in at him) and his foot skidded out from under him. He flapped his arms in a desperate attempt to try to keep his balance, failed, and crashed to the floor at the feet of the Plain Doll.

"Did you know that your bootlace is untied?"

"Pardon me, good hunter?"

"Never mind."

He rolled over, shaking his head. A glass orb smashed under his knee, releasing a cloud of mist into the air. Balyn cursed under his breath; trust his luck to crush something that would prevent him from immediately healing the wounds from the glass shards he'd just driven into his leg.

"I should have sold those days ago," he muttered. "Wait, days? I've only been here one night…though it's been an awfully long night, come to think of it. Maybe time is just weird in a dream? The fire's burning normally, but time's not passing so it's not burning down the building! Wait, no, if that was it the flames wouldn't be moving. Argh! All this thinking is making my brain hurt!"

The Doll tilted her head to one side, confused. Balyn hoped it was because she was puzzled by his babbling. That it was the idea of him thinking that she found so unusual…okay, that was probably the more likely choice.

"Good hunter, what is it you are doing? Gehrman awaits you, at the foot of the great tree."

He shook his head, then straightened his feathered tricorn.

"Actually, that got taken care of."

The Doll blinked.

"It did?"

"Uh-huh."

Balyn pushed himself back to his feet.

"Then why have you not yet awakened?"

"Well…um…" How do I put this delicately? "We kind of had a difference of opinion on who was to wake up first, and there was some…er…pointed debate."

"…'Pointed debate,' good hunter?"

"Pointy things were involved. Also shooty things, but nobody says 'shooted debate.' Or even 'shot debate.'"

"So, then, Gehrman…"

"Finally got to wake up, yes. He sounded pretty grateful, to be honest. And if what happened after that is any indication, well, I kind of understand where he was coming from. It makes me think that maybe I should have just taken him up on his offer."

She let out a long sigh. Balyn wished he knew what she thought about Gehrman's fate. They hadn't always seen eye-to-eye, but she'd always been there for him, steadfastly helping out, really going above and beyond what one would expect from a doll.

…All right, "doll" was generally a job with low expectations, but still!

"Then, good hunter, what are you doing?" she asked, avoiding messy emotional or ethical discussions. "It looks as if you are taking out the contents of your storage box and scattering them everywhere. Are you looking for something?"

"A pair of pants," Balyn declared.

"A pair of…pants?"

"Trousers. Leggings. Heck, maybe a skirt would be better; I don't have a great eye for fashion."

"I am not sure that you have the legs for a skirt, good hunter."

"Nah, they're not for me. I need something that'll fit a Great One."

Balyn wasn't sure if it was possible for a doll to look like someone had just belted her on the back of the head with a trout, but she seemed to be making a good attempt at it.

"Look," he said, "Gehrman was one thing, but that critter that showed up afterwards has killed me six times! So dig in and help me find something that'll suit it, because I am sick of being mooned!"

~X X X~

A/N: And with that, I get to mark this story "complete"! Balyn's come to the end of his run through Yharnam, and if he ever manages to get the Moon Presence to understand basic decency he'll even manage the best ending. I may well return to writing more shorts for Bloodborne, in which I open up the possibilities for more scenarios outside of this template. Maybe I'll even, Great Ones forbid, try my hand at something more serious in the fandom!?

Or, who knows, maybe someday I'll open this collection back up for more. After all…there's always New Game+