Notes: This is a difficult chapter (half a chapter). The next part is about Mary's feelings.
PPP
That night, Darcy struggled to quiet his mind and drifted asleep. He could not shake off thoughts of his discussion with Elizabeth, especially her pointed remarks. Following the arrival of Miss Mary, Mrs. Bennet graciously extended an invitation for him to join them for tea; an invitation he gladly accepted. Despite being seated next to Elizabeth, their interaction felt somewhat subdued. Noticing her eldest daughter's distraction, Mrs. Bennet asked him a series of polite inquiries about his cousins, Rosings, and Georgiana.
After tea, Elizabeth accompanied him to the Longbourn; he tenderly kissed both of her hands, expressing his sincere affection. They made plans for his visit to her in Longbourn the next morning before he would proceed with his journey to London.
Hours later, he still pondered Elizabeth's perspective and wrestled with the unsettling realization that he might be considered a hypocrite. He recognized his tendency to denounce any woman outside his social circle who sought to marry a wealthy gentleman as a fortune hunter, while fervently championing Richard solely because he was his cousin and the son of an earl.
He sighed; he was acutely aware of the prevalence of arranged marriages in high society, where the pursuit of wealth and power often outweighed matters of the heart – a reality highlighted by his own parent's union, which had been arranged.
As he reflected on his parent's marriage, he could not help but furrow his brow. To the Ton, their union appeared flawless, a shining example of high society's ideal marriage. However, Darcy was keenly aware of the truth. Despite their mutual respect, there was a distinct lack of genuine affection in their relationship. It was evident that they had very few common interests, making their marriage a façade in the eyes of society.
Throughout Darcy's father's life, he harbored an intense affection for the daughter of a prominent Lambton merchant. Regrettably, family opposition and the looming threat of disinheritance prevented him from marrying his beloved. Meanwhile, his mother was quite young and had barely entered society when she was forced into the marriage due to her father's debts. Soon after their marriage, she became bored, as she only saw her husband at dinner time and spent most of her days in isolation, as her nearest "quality" neighbors resided over twenty miles away.
His mother was a reserved lady who rarely displayed affection. From a young age, she instilled in him the weight of social status and his role in society. She frequently emphasized, "Remember, my son, you are the nephew of an earl."
He knew that his mother shared Lady Catherine's ambition to unite Pemberley with Rosings, whit the aim of strengthening their family's position as one of the wealthiest and most powerful families in the Kingdom. Following his mother's passing, his father reassured him that he was under no obligation to marry his cousin, despite Lady Catherine's repeated insistence.
With a heavy sense of shame and regret, he came to the painful realization that he had never once taken into consideration his cousin Anne's wishes and happiness. Never had he made the effort to speak with her and clarify that he did not intend to comply with Lady Catherine's wishes. It troubled him deeply to ponder whether, all those years, Anne had harbored hope of their marriage to come to fruition.
As he pondered his feelings for Elizabeth, another uncomfortable question began to surface in his mind. Despite being deeply in love with her, he wondered whether he would have chosen to marry Elizabeth if she had not been an heiress…