Sarah was nervous. And that was ridiculous.
She was going on a fake date. Not a real one.
But the kiss earlier had left her feeling slightly light-headed.
She had gone home from work and changed her clothes, and then changed them twice more wondering what one was supposed to wear on a double date with one's fake boyfriend's sister?
Then her worries led to wondered how on earth they were going to pretend their pretend relationship was real and had history.
She was starting to get a headache. At least at work, everyone who didn't know it was all a ruse wasn't going to ask questions about how they got together, but she had a feeling that Claire Rhodes would.
The funny thing was that in her previous relationships she would have wound herself into an anxious mess but with Connor she had this innate peace that she could talk to him and he would never judge her.
Not that they were in a relationship.
But either way, she sent him a panicked message when she was trying on outfit number four.
"Don't we need a back-story Connor?"
"Do we?"
"Claire will wonder how we ended up together."
"I can collect you early and we can come up with a game plan?"
Even his words on a screen were able to calm her down, just like he could in person.
He arrived at her door not long after, looking more handsome than normal, which was not fair at all. She was used to seeing him dressed up by now, but date-night Connor was different than mandatory-event-night Connor. He didn't wear a tie and had the top button of his shirt unbuttoned and Sarah felt the surprising urge to run her fingers along the tiny line of skin exposed near his collar bone.
"So, the best lies are the ones closest to the truth so they'll be easy to pass off." He told her straight away with the same certainty he held when explaining surgery procedures.
She raised her eyebrows at him, "You sound like you have a lot of experience at this." She told him as she let him in and closed the door behind him.
"I may have been a reckless teenager, it was easier to sneak out when I had a plausible story."
"Makes sense." Her mother and father had never been around enough to care about what Sarah was saying or doing, never mind if it was the truth or all lies. "So any ideas about this?" She motioned to the space between them before they sat down on her sofa.
Connor seemed to think about it with the same intensity he gave to his cases in work. "We met on my first day at work." He said, "Which is true."
"Okay." Sarah nodded, there was no way she would ever forget their first interaction so that would be easy to talk about.
"Then I bought you lunch but you weren't interested in me. I mean the garden salad." He scoffed with a laugh but Sarah had to stop her mouth dropping open at the revelation that he remembered that.
"I didn't want you to think I'd be won around by your money." She responded quietly.
He gave her a soft smile, "Don't tell Will but he was right, I was trying to buy people around. I was nervous, being back in Chicago."
"Okay but how did we start dating?" Sarah asked tentatively.
"Well you were still a medical student so we didn't want to risk your career before it started. And then you dated Joey, I dated Sam…"
The mention of the previous trauma surgeon prickled at the back of Sarah's neck. Jealously was an uncomfortable feeling.
"Sam left, Joey was an asshole…" He continued, "One thing led to another and here we are. Is that okay?" He asked, his question coming out softer, checking in with her.
"That's okay." She confirmed, "Thanks." She breathed a sigh of relief.
"I should be thanking you for going along with this." He said.
The truth, or maybe the problem, was that going along with all this was the easiest thing that Sarah had ever done in her life.
Connor opened the door of the fancy restaurant for her. The Maître D' led them through the glamorous space to a table that was reserved for them. Sarah had to stop herself leaning into Connor's touch when he placed a hand on her lower back to let her go first.
Connor pulled her chair out and Sarah sat down, he followed suit, sitting beside her.
Sarah realized that she must have kept rubbing at nonexistent creases on her skirt, a sure sign of her nerves kicking in, until she felt the familiar comfort of Connor's hand encase hers.
"Are you okay?" He asked, his thumb rubbing the back of her hand.
She took a deep breath to calm her frayed nerves; she still blamed the kiss from earlier. "I'll be fine."
"I'll lead the story, it'll be okay." He told her before he heard his name being called.
Claire and Russell were making their way to them. The pair stood and the introductions were made before they sat down for their meal.
Sarah tried to hide her smile when Connor reached for her hand again, interlocking their fingers like they were jigsaw pieces that fit together perfectly. She had been nervously tapping her leg and he squeezed her hand to try and to reassure her.
"So," Claire asked while they were perusing the menu. "How did you two get together?"
Connor squeezed Sarah's hand again under the table and launched into their prepared story.
"We've known each other for years, but things never really lined up right, until - what, three months ago?" He referred to Sarah as if they were keeping track of such minor anniversaries. She nodded in what she hoped would come across as a loving gesture.
Claire struck Connor with a sharp look, "Well I hope you were more romantic then than you were for today. I mean having no plans for Valentine's day…"
"He's been spoiling me all day." Sarah interjected in Connor's defense.
"I should hope so." Claire told Connor.
"If you must know…" He told his sister. "We were both single and I realized that it was time to admit that I had been mad about her since the first time I laid eyes on her." Sarah felt her heart clench, dearly wishing that had been true. The very thought terrified her. She couldn't like Connor, this was all fake. "So I asked Maggie about Sarah's shift schedule and lined my lunch time up with her. I managed to get Halstead, this pain in my ass…"
"But also his best friend." Sarah jumped in to clarify and got rewarded with one of Connor's grins and a raised eyebrow.
"…to lure her out the front where I tried to buy her lunch again. Seeing as the first time didn't go to plan. We had lunch and I had booked the truck for dinner after our shift."
"It was very thoughtful." Sarah concluded.
They were saved from having to elaborate any further by the waiter coming to take their orders.
They made small talk, getting to know each other as they had their starters.
"So Sarah, what made you want to go out with Connor? He must be pretty famous at the hospital, he is a Rhodes in Chicago after all." Claire asked.
Sarah idly thought that Claire would get along great with Maggie and Will, they all shared over protectiveness as a common trait.
"Claire…" Connor warned.
It was Sarah's turn to reach over and squeeze his hand, letting him know that she was okay.
"I'm not with Connor for his prestige or money." Sarah clarified as politely as she could. "My Mom is a successful attorney back home and I've never wanted for anything material. I can provide for myself, I don't need his family money." She looked at Connor, taking a steady breath, "And I had no idea who he was when I first met him. I just knew that he was someone who saw me better than anyone ever had. Most of my life I had been invisible but Connor could see me and read me like a book."
Suddenly worrying she had shared just a little too much she quickly diverted her eyes from Connor to Claire.
It must have been the answer that Claire had been looking for as she smiled. Sarah could tell it was a genuine smile because it was exactly the same as Connor's.
Sarah decided she loved Russell as the man jumped in with conversation about his job, taking Sarah out of the firing line.
The dinner went smoothly from there on out. Complete with the desert being heart shaped for the day that was in it.
Sarah even got a hug from Claire when they were leaving.
Connor was quiet on the drive home and the walk up to her floor. She tried to tell him he didn't have to walk her, but he was adamant.
Sarah could see something boiling under the surface. The way he kept adjusting his grip on the car steering wheel. The way he kept adjusting his jacket sleeves. The way he was silent the entire walk up to her door.
"So, at least the dinner went well." He concluded as she put her key in the door. She smiled to herself, she knew that he had wanted to say something and for all his bravado at work, she knew that Connor was a sensitive soul underneath it all.
"It did." She replied, while she opened her door and turned to look at him. "It wasn't a bad Valentine's Day after all."
"You deserve wonderful Valentine's Days and wonderful every other days. I know this is all for show." He huffed, gesturing between them "But you deserve someone who adores the ground you walk on, who sees how amazing you are."
Sarah was glad to still have a hand on the door handle, to keep her grounded while she tried to wrap her head around his words.
"Anyway." He said, putting his hands in his pockets, "I better go."
All Sarah could do was offer him a tentative smile and nod. When he started walking down the hallway, she stepped into her apartment. She was closing the door when she looked back to see him turning around.
"But…" He said, "You were never invisible. You could never be invisible, not to me. Goodnight Sarah."
Sarah was sure as he disappeared from view and she closed her door, that she'd never have a Valentine's Day as good as that day for the rest of her life.