Carina manages to secure an appointment for Maya, that will be in two days time. Thankfully, it coincides with her day off from work, so she doesn't have to take any time off or face the surge of questions that her team would approach her with at Station 19.
As they wait for the appointment Carina gives Maya heaps of love and support, doing her best to keep their spirits high. She tries to be a source of positivity and light, often talking excitedly about their upcoming 12-week scan. Each time Carina mentions it, Maya feels a flicker of joy and excitement, grateful for the distraction from the fear surrounding the lump. The thought of seeing their baby on the screen brings a smile to her face, even amidst the uncertainty surrounding her health.
However, both women struggle when they are apart, both Maya and Carina find themselves grappling with a sense of unease. Carina paces the hospital halls, her mind racing with thoughts of Maya's upcoming mammogram. Anxiety gnaws at her as she imagines the worst outcomes, making it difficult to focus on her own responsibilities. She tries to distract herself with patients, but the worry continues to linger in the base of her stomach.
Meanwhile, at the fire station, as the hours tick by during her 24-hour shift, Maya struggles to shake off her own worries. Every siren, every call, every moment feels tinged with an undercurrent of worry. Andy, ever perceptive, notices that something is off with Maya.
After a minor call, as they hop out of the engine, Andy catches a glimpse of Maya's distant demeanour. "Maya, are you okay? You seem a bit… distant lately," she asks, genuine concern etched across her face.
Maya forces a smile, brushing off Andy's concern. "I'm fine, really. Just a lot on my mind," she replies, but the words feel hollow even to her. Andy nods, though she isn't convinced.
She continues to watch Maya closely over the next few hours. Maya's frustration seems to surface more often, her patience wearing thin. She drifts into moments where she appears lost in thought, her eyes vacant as she stares into space. When the team stops for downtime, Maya avoids being around the team, retreating to her bunk or to the gym, spending this time in isolation.
Andy can't shake the feeling that something is off. Each time she notices Maya withdraw, it tightens the knot of worry in her stomach. She finds herself checking in with Maya more frequently than usual, hoping to catch a glimpse of the friend she knows and loves.
As the hours stretch on Maya tries to immerse herself in her tasks, but the relentless questions from Andy make it increasingly difficult to maintain her facade of normalcy.
"Hey, you know I'm always here if you need to talk?" Andy offers once more before the team heads off to their bunks, her voice laced with genuine concern.
Maya glances at Andy, her eyes betraying a flicker of gratitude, but she quickly shakes her head. "I know… Thank you… I'm okay though," she responds, forcing a practiced smile that feels more like a mask. She turns away from Andy, heading to her bunk, feeling the exhaustion of the shift settling heavily over her body.
It's not long before the alarm blares once again. The crew is quick to get suited up and race out to the call—a minor kitchen fire, a scenario that has become all too familiar for this night shift. As they arrive on the scene, the smell of smoke fills the air, and the flickering glow of flames dances in the windows.
Maya focuses her attention on the task at hand, her training kicking in as she and her team spring into action. She can feel Andy's eyes on her but she ignores it. For now, she needs to concentrate on the fire, on helping the family inside, on doing her job.
"Let's move!" Maya calls out, leading the way as they enter the building, the heat pressing against her skin. The fire crackles, but it's manageable, and the crew works efficiently to douse the flames. Maya throws herself into the job, channeling all her energy into putting the fire out.
As they extinguish the fire and assess the damage, Maya can sense Andy lingering nearby. Despite the chaos of the scene, Maya feels the weight of her friend's gaze, and it irks her slightly. She knows Andy means well, but the scrutiny only adds to the pressure she's feeling.
Finally, nineteen start to wrap up and prepare to head back, Maya takes a moment to breathe deeply, letting the adrenaline fade. Her thoughts drift to Carina and the baby, the uncertainty of her future swirling in her mind. Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, she hops into the truck, hoping for some proper rest this time.
Back at the station, the team is putting their gear away when Andy approaches Maya again, her concern evident. "Hey… Are you sure you're okay?" she gently probes.
Maya feels a surge of frustration, she has felt Andy watching her all shift and now she has reached boiling point. "Can you just stop asking? I said I'm fine!" she snaps, her voice sharper than she intended.
Andy studies her, the concern deepening in her eyes. "You sure? Because I've known you long enough to tell when something's bothering you," she presses gently.
Maya clenches her jaw, feeling the heat of irritation rise. "I really don't want to talk about it, Andy," she replies, trying to keep her tone steady, but the frustration is hard to contain.
"Maya…" Andy starts, her voice softening as she takes a step closer. "I didn't mean to push. I just care about you" Andy responds, her voice steady despite the sting of Maya's outburst. "You don't have to pretend around me."
Taking a deep breath, Maya softens, her shoulders dropping as she realizes how unfair she's being. "I know," she murmurs, her voice barely above a whisper. "It's just… it's been a long day… a long few days."
Andy nods, her expression shifting back to understanding. "I get it. Just remember, I'm here if you need anything. You shouldn't let whatever this is," she gestures in front of Maya, "boil over. I've seen you self-destruct, and I never want to see my friend get to that point again," she replies, her tone warm and reassuring.
Maya takes a moment, appreciating Andy's concern and patience. She knows her friend means well, and the sincerity in Andy's eyes breaks through her defenses. "I just… I don't want to talk about it… yet," she admits, her vulnerability surfacing.
"That's okay," Andy assures her, a soft smile on her face. "Whenever you're ready, I'll be right here."
Maya nods, feeling a flicker of relief. It's a small step, but knowing she has Andy's support makes the burden a little lighter, even if she's not ready to share just yet.
At the end of their shift, Maya approaches Andy, her heart heavy with guilt. "Hey, I just wanted to say I'm really sorry for snapping at you earlier. I didn't mean it. I just… I'm dealing with some stuff, and I didn't mean to take it out on you."
Andy nods, accepting the apology. "It's okay, Maya. Like I said whatever is it, I'm here for you if you ever need me.
Maya gives a small smile, appreciating the warmth of Andy's friendship. "I do. Thank you. I might very well need your support in the coming months," she says quietly, her voice softening as she admits to the uncertainty of her future. Andy doesn't press further, instead she embraces Maya in a comforting hug before they go their separate ways.
The day arrives for Maya's mammogram, and Carina has taken the day off to be there for her wife. Knowing that the wait for results can be excruciating, she wants to provide support and distractions for Maya afterward.
As they drive to the hospital, Carina glances over at Maya, who is nervously fidgeting with her legs. Concerned, Carina reaches over and takes hold of Maya's hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "It's going to be okay, bambina. Whatever happens, we will get through it together."
Maya offers a smile in response, but Carina can still see the flicker of fear in her eyes. A wave of her own nerves crashes over her, but she reminds herself that nothing is certain yet. They pull into the hospital parking lot, and the two women take a moment to gather themselves before heading inside.
Once inside, Carina approaches the reception desk to let them know that Maya has arrived. They settle into the waiting area, Carina keeping a firm grip on Maya's hand throughout the wait, offering silent support as they sit in the quiet space.
After what feels like hours of waiting, a nurse finally appears, calling Maya's name. Carina gives her a reassuring nod and a gentle smile as they follow the nurse down the hallway to a small room. Inside, Maya is handed a hospital gown and informed that the radiologist will be with them shortly.
Maya changes quickly, the fabric of the gown feeling uncomfortable against her skin. She sits down on a chair in the room, and Carina takes a seat beside her, ensuring her presence is a source of comfort.
"I'll be just through the glass window," Carina says softly, trying to maintain her calm demeanour despite her own nerves. "I'll be right here."
Maya nods, her voice lost in a whirlwind of anxiety. She watches as Carina leans in to give her a kiss, pouring all her love and support into that brief moment. Then, Carina follows the nurse out of the room, leaving Maya alone with her racing thoughts.
The imaging itself feels like it drags on forever. While it's mostly painless, the discomfort of the machinery and the unfamiliar setting only heightens her anxiety. She focuses on her breathing, trying to remain calm, but the fear still clouds her mind.
Finally, the process comes to an end, and she changes back into her clothes. Carina steps back into the room, her face lighting up as she sees Maya. "I'm so proud of you," she says, wrapping her arms around her wife in a warm embrace.
They both take a moment to breathe, the weight of the experience still hanging in the air. A short while later, the radiologist enters the room, clipboard in hand. She offers a reassuring smile before delivering the next steps. "The results should be back in two to five days. Someone will be in contact with you to discuss these and let you know if there's a need for further testing."
"More tests?" Maya asks, her voice tinged with concern.
The radiologist nods. "Sometimes there might be a need to perform a biopsy on the lump to confirm whether it is benign or malignant," she explains gently.
"A biopsy?" Maya repeats, feeling a knot tighten in her stomach. Carina notices Maya's expression and squeezes her hand once again.
"You might not need one; it will all depend on the results. But I wanted to ensure you are aware of what the next step might be," she adds with a sympathetic smile.
Maya nods again, grateful for the information but dreading the possibility of needing a biopsy. She hopes that it won't come to that.
They thank the radiologist and walk back to the car, the silence between them filled with unspoken worries.
As they buckle into their seats, Carina takes a deep breath, her heart heavy with concern for Maya. Eventually, Maya breaks the silence. "What happens if I need a biopsy?" she asks Carina.
"Well, you would see another radiologist, and for the biopsy, they will insert a needle to take a sample of the lump's cells. You would be awake for it, but they'll give you something to help with any discomfort," Carina explains, slipping into doctor mode. She tries to keep her tone light, not wanting to stress Maya out further.
"Okay," Maya replies, her voice barely above a whisper. She doesn't continue the conversation and instead looks out the window as Carina pulls out of the parking lot.
As they drive home, the silence lingers. Carina reaches over and holds Maya's hand, offering silent comfort. Maya gives her hand a squeeze in acknowledgment.
It has now been two days since the mammogram appointment, and they haven't received any news about the results. Maya begins to worry, believing that the longer it takes, the worse the news will be. Carina constantly reassures her that the length of time doesn't necessarily indicate anything negative.
Today is the day of Carina's scan, which serves as a much-needed distraction for both of them. Though they still have work, they've taken a longer lunch break to be together for the appointment.
Carina lays on the examination bed as the sonographer applies gel to her belly. Maya stands to the side, holding Carina's hand tightly. The sonographer then places the wand on Carina's belly and begins to move it around. It isn't long before a heartbeat echoes through the machine.
Carina glances at Maya, who is gazing at the screen with unshed tears in her eyes and a broad smile on her face. Carina has missed that smile. "That's our baby, bambina," she says softly, her heart swelling with joy.
Maya shifts her gaze from the screen to her wife. "That's our baby," she repeats, her voice filled with wonder, before leaning in to kiss Carina on the lips.
Once the scan is finished, Maya and Carina head to Carina's office to share lunch together. Carina made lasagna, hoping to lift Maya's spirits, and there are plenty of leftovers for them to enjoy. However, Carina notices that Maya isn't really touching her food. Concerned, she asks, "What's going through that head of yours, Bella?"
Maya picks up the photo of the scan and lets out a heavy sigh. "What if I'm not around to experience our baby?" she says, her voice trembling.
Carina's heart drops at Maya's words. She sets her container of lasagna down and moves closer to Maya, who now has silent tears rolling down her cheeks. Carina pulls her into a tight hug. "You will be, Maya. We are going to get through this. Whatever happens, you are going to be the best mom to this baby."
Maya looks up at Carina, uncertainty clouding her eyes. "But we don't know that," she replies, her voice barely above a whisper.
"Let's just wait to see what the results are and take it from there, okay bella?" Carina says gently.
Maya nods, leaning back into the comfort of Carina's embrace, feeling the warmth of her wifes love surround her.