(Mario was calmly relaxing outside of the castle on a lawn chair under a beach umbrella... Naked...)
Mario: Ah, now that life is back to normal, I finally get to have some Mario time!
(As he was going back to relaxing and eating spaghetti... A shadow loomed over his figure)
Mario: Hm? Hey, fatass, get out of the way, you're blocking Mario's super sunshine.
(It was none other than Peach who was hovering over Mario and blocking the sun)
Peach: Mario, put your clothes back on!
Mario: W-Wha?! Princess?! Ugh... What do you want?
Peach: WHILE YOU WERE OFF ON THAT ANIME VACATION, THE CASTLE GOT FILTHY!
Mario: (Annoyed) Vacation? Mario was out saving the world. Go get the others to do it.
Peach: They are helping!
(The scene changes to Luigi watering a piranha plant. Luigi notices them and waves at them. While he's distracted the piranha plant bites him on the head and shakes him around)
Mario: Heheheh... Well, looks like you don't really need Mario's help at all...
(Peach just stares at him intently and deadly then slaps him)
Mario: Ugh... Fine...
Peach: Good. Now I'm going to go shopping. When I get back, this place better be spotless. Understand?
(As Peach was about to leave, Mario makes the mistake of making fun of her behind her back)
Peach: WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SAY?!
(Mario screams in terror)
(Mario heads inside a room)
Mario: Housekeeping...
(Mario sees Saiko sweeping)
Mario: Boring.
Saiko: Well it would go faster if you helped me you fatass!
Mario: Fine! (Spawns a broom and begins sweeping, but after just one sweep, he immediately just puts it down and falls asleep)
(Saiko throws her broom at him)
Saiko: SWEEP PROPERLY, IDIOT!
Mario: Mamafucker!
(Mario then gets an idea, grabs Luigi's vacuum, and turns it on. Unfortunately, it was on the wrong setting and it spawns creatures such as boos, Luigi's Mansion ghosts, Elmo, ghost Sakurai, and many more incarnations of spookiness)
Saiko: Mario! You put it on the wrong setting!
Mario: Not my fault... Besides, who wants to do this crappy job anyways... (Leaves)
Saiko: MARIO!
Ghost: (Points at Saiko) BOY, SHE THICC!
(Bob was lovely down at the staircase which led to the basement)
Mario: Hm... Hey Bob!
Bob: HoLy TiTs! DoN't ScArE mE lIkE tHaT!
Mario: So what are you doing? Hiding a dead body again?
Bob: No. PeAcH tOlD mE tO cLeAn ThE bAsEmEnT, bUt ThErE's MoNsTeRs DoWn ThErE.
Mario: ...Are you serious, Bob? Jesus... You're such a baby... (Walks down to the basement)
Bob: (Pulls out a Bob Bible) ...ThE pOwEr Of BoB cOmPeLs YoU. (Follows Mario)
(When they get down there, nothing is to be seen at all)
Mario: You see... Nothing to be scared of down here...
(Suddenly, a blur of yellow flies past them)
Mario/Bob: Huh?!
(It goes behind them as well)
Mario: What?!
Bob: WhAt ThE hEcK?! (Turns around) OH SHIT! A RABBIT! A FUCKING RABBIT!
(Mario turns around to see it and just laughs hysterically)
Mario: THAT'S THE MONSTER? ARE YOU KIDDING ME, BOB?! THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE AFRAID OF?!
Bob: It Is ThE mOsT fEaRsOmE tHaT pEoPlE hAvE lAiD eYeS oN!
Mario: I got this. (Walks towards the rabbit with a bag) Please get in the bag, Mr Rabbit
Bob: OMG RUN!
(They both dashed for the exit as the yellow rabbit kept on chasing them. Thankfully, they escaped and shut the door behind them before it could follow)
Mario: Mama Mia...
Bob: CrAp! ThE bAsEmEnT sTiLl IsN't ClEaN!
Mario: Hmm, leave it to me...
(Luigi passes by with a bandaid on his head)
Mario: Hey Luigi! Peach asked you to clean the basement.
Luigi: (Walks down the stairs) Oh! That sounds safe. Ok, thanks, Mario!
(Mario opens the door for Luigi and he goes in)
Luigi: Oh, hey, a rabbit (The rabbit pulls out its gun) Uhh... What are you gonna do with that?
(The rabbit shoots at him)
Mario: Welp, our work here is done.
(Mario and Bob walks away as Luigi screams in terror)
(In the aquarium, I. Meggy and H. Meggy are carefully mopping the floors without hitting any of the water that is used for the task)
H. Meggy: O-oof... This is... Harder than I thought.
I. Meggy: (Grunting) Yeah, stupid Princess Peach... Making us do this job that we hate so much... (Accidentally gets drops of water on her arm) ARGH! (Throws the mop at the entrance in pain and holds her arm)
Mario: (Enters the room) Hey, Meggy's, need some help? (Gets his head knocked off by the mop)
I. Meggy: (Gasps) Red! I-I'm sorry about that...
H. Meggy: Nice one.
I. Meggy: Shut up!
(I. Meggy picks her mop)
I. Meggy: How am I going to win Splatfest if I can't even mop a floor...?
H. Meggy: No. How am I going to win Splatfest if I can't even mop a floor?!
Mario: Are you two still fighting over that?
I. Meggy: Yes, because one of us was given that promise, (Glares at H. Meggy) while the other one just exists for some random reason!
H. Meggy: I have a name!
I. Meggy: Do you, though?
H. Meggy: What do you mean?!
I. Meggy: I'm Meggy. You are a clone of me. So technically you have no name.
H. Meggy: Why you-
(H. Meggy grabs the bucket and throws the water at her, somehow setting her on fire)
I. Meggy: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!
(H. Meggy laughs out loud)
Mario: Umm...! AHA! (Absorbs an Ice Flower and freezes Meggy, putting the fire out in the process)
I. Meggy: W-whoa!
(Mario then broke the ice)
Mario: There we go.
I. Meggy: Thanks, Red. Now, if you excuse me... (Pulls out her Splattershot) I need to teach this copy a lesson!
(H. Meggy pulls out her own Splattershot)
H. Meggy: Oh, it's on!
(The two started to shoot at each other)
Mario: Wow, (Starts to leave) Mario doesn't even need to do anything...
(Outside the castle, Boopkins is standing on a wooden window cleaning platform cleaning the windows)
Boopkins: Oh, I'm gonna wash the windows, I'm gonna wash the windows... Yeaahhh... Washy washy washy, dodododo...
(Mario poked his head out of the window Fishy Boopkins was cleaning)
Mario: HMMMMMMMMM...
Boopkins: Oh, honey honey-
Mario: HEY, MOTHERFUCKER!
Boopkins: (Jumps back) AH!
(Boopkins fell off the platform but grabbed onto the ledge)
Boopkins: Ah, Mario! What are you doing?!
Mario: Hey, little buddy! Need some help?
Boopkins: Yes, yes! I would like some help!
Mario: Come here, Fishy LITTLE SHIT! (Throws Boopkins back onto the platform)
Boopkins: AAAAAHHH- OOF!
Mario: So, what are you doing, Boopkins?
Boopkins: I'm meant to wash the windows but my hands are too stubby to use the platform.
Mario: Oh, let me help you with that!
Boopkins: Oh, okay... Just pull on those ropes and-
(Mario proceeds to do the opposite and pulls as hard as he can. The platform shakes around wildly, causing everything on it to be thrown around)
Boopkins: PUT IT BACK DOWN! PUT IT BACK DOWN!
Mario: I CAN FLY!
(Boopkins fell off the platform again and grabbed onto the ledge)
Mario: (A bucket falls onto his head) WAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Boopkins: Mario, help me! I can't get up!
Mario: I can't get this bucket off...
Boopkins: Mario, just listen to my directions! Pull on the rope to your left!
Mario: Nipples? Okie dokie.
(Mario starts rubbing his nipples)
Mario: Imma got a boner! You got Mario confused, I'm doing this my way.
(Mario put a coin on the ground as Wario appeared on the roof of the castle)
Wario: MONEHHHHHHHHHHHH... *Jumps at the platform* YOOOOOOOOOLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
(Wario crashed into the platform sending Mario falling to the ground and removing the bucket in the process)
Mario: I DID IT! I DID IT!
(He then sees that Boopkins is about to fall off the platform)
Mario: Hold on, Boopkins! I'll get you down.
(Before he can, however, SMG4 comes onto the bridge, holding a trash bag, and notices Mario)
SMG4: Oh good, Mario, you can help me with something.
Mario: But wait, I need to do something first-
(Mario is suddenly grabbed by SMG4 and dragged back into the castle)
SMG4: No excuses, come on
(SMG4 and Mario enter the castle, just as Boopkins loses his grip. He falls into the drained moat below and slams down in a meaty "THUMP" letting out a muffled groan of pain)
(Back with SMG4 and Mario, the two are on the castle grounds, a few trash bags by their feet. SMG4 grabs one and shows Mario where to throw it, the plumber giving him a flat look the entire time)
Mario: Take out the trash? That's all you really have to do?
(Mario takes the trash bag out of SMG4's hand and kicks it into a far away dumpster)
SMG4: Nice shot! Good job, Mario!
Mario: That was sure easy.
SMG4: Yep! (Points down to the moat, revealing a small mountain of trash bags) Now just do it a thousand more times and we're done.
Mario: Why is there so much trash in here?
SMG4: Well… (Slips on a bow tie and pulls a slideshow projector, cycling through various images of graphs and dead memes) The meme economy is really volatile nowadays. Memes go from fresh, to dead, in a matter of days. As a result, I've got to throw out old stock more frequently.
Mario: I guess that makes sense...
(SMG4 turns off the projector and removes the bow tie)
SMG4: Now, get to work!
Mario: Okie dokley doo!
(Mario fell onto a few of the trash bags and instantly fell asleep)
SMG4: HEY! Who said you could sleep?!
Mario: (Wakes up) But it's so nice and comfy here.
SMG4: C'mon! I'll buy you spaghetti...!
(This got Mario's attention. With the promise of a free spaghetti, Mario enters "Power Drive" mode and starts tossing out the trash bags. Unfortunately, "Power Drive" mode focused more on speed than accuracy, as very few actually landed in the dumpster. Most of the others landed by it, or got tossed into a different area entirely. Such as through the stained-glass window in front of the castle, at the Piranha Plant in the garden, or at Boopkins, who fell off the platform again after managing to get back up)
SMG4: HEY, STOP!
Mario: HEHEHEHEHEHEHE-
(SMG4 punches Mario)
Mario: OOF!
SMG4: You know what… Don't worry Mario, I'll do this.
Mario: YEEEEEEAHHHHHHH, BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! (Leaves)
(SMG4 looked at the scattered trash bags and sighed)
SMG4: Why did I think asking Mario to help was a good idea?
(In the kitchen, Tari was doing the dishes, humming to herself. That's when the slam of a door took Tari out of her humming. She turned to see Mario, looking around the kitchen)
Tari: Oh hey Mario! Wanna help me wash these dishes?
Mario: Washing the dishes?! Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...
Tari: C'mon, Mario! It's not that bad!
(Mario continued to cry on the ground. Tari knew that getting Mario to help would be difficult, but she had an idea to make it more fun. She crouched down to Mario)
Tari: Hey, why don't we turn this into a game?
Mario: OOOHHH! A game?!
Tari: Yep! Jump on drying the dishes. Let's see how many we can get in a minute.
Mario: OK!
Tari: READY? (Lifts up a dirty plate) Go!
(The two start cleaning with Mario grabbing a roll of kitchen paper and started tapping a plate with it)
Mario: Faster!
Tari: Okie dokie! (Cleans faster)
Mario: FASTER! GO, GO, GO!
(Tari screams as she goes faster)
Mario: FAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSTEEEEEERRRRR!
(She tried to keep pace with Mario's demands, but she was reaching her limit. The game ended when Tari cleaned a plate so fast, the friction made her hands catch fire. Tari, her human hand in severe pain, runs around the kitchen in a blind panic)
(Outside the castle, Peach was returning home, clutching several shopping bags in her hands. She was about to open the door when Tari burst through it. Peach spun around the bridge, bouncing off the walls like a pinball before falling to the ground. Her bags flew open, releasing their contents, in this case manga, all over the ground beside her. Tari continued to run around until she jumped in the lake. The fire fizzles out into steam, relieving the burning pain in her hand as Tari floats on the surface)
Peach: Oh my ass!
(Mario looks at her from the front door)
Mario: Hey, how are ya?!
Peach: MARIO! What are you doing?
Mario: I'm cleaning the castle like you asked!
Peach: *Walks into the castle* Oh no...!
(She walks through the front hall, where she dodges out of the way of a running Bob. He's currently being chased by the gun-toting MIPS)
Bob: Oh My GoD! SoMeOnE, pLeAsE hElP mE! He HaS a GuN!
(After that, Peach makes her way into the main area, and gasps at the mess she sees. On the ground is the trash bag Mario threw in here by accident, dead memes leaking out of the holes it got from the shattered glass. Peach sees Saiko fighting off the ghosts. The ghosts make it hard for her, being able to faze through her hammer swings at will, but she's still determined to kick their corporeal asses. Peach then sees Mario, who now sports a proud and satisfied smile)
Peach: ...Mario
Mario: You're WELCOME!
(Peach was about to attack her, when to was hit by a Splat Bomb)
H. Meggy: Missed me, BITCH!
I. Meggy: I'll get you!
(The two Meggy's shoot inkling at each other, while throwing insults)
Saiko: The two of them are still fighting?
Mario: Yep. And before you ask, no, I didn't do anything to cause them to fight. I came into the room where they were moping, got hit by a mop, the two started to argue, and they started fighting each other.
SMG4: Yeesh, if they keep fighting neither of them are going to win Splatfest.