Sansa

Days and weeks had passed since she had last seen Joffrey. Her heart, despite what he had told her, began to beat slower and slower. Sansa believed with all her might that her family would guess that the letter had been written under Joffrey's pressure and was meant to intimidate her. She would never have given up her entire family and created something so dishonorable. She loved her brothers with all her heart and missed their dinners in Winterfell. She would never have thought that the North, which she had once despised and considered boring, could return to her mind as her greatest dream. She had once dreamed of becoming a queen, of having treasures and royal children, but now the thought of marrying her to Joffrey made her nauseous. As she had guessed, Joffrey would not let her off the hook and sent his guards to make sure Sansa had written the letter. He had not shown up to talk to her and had not been interested in her for a long time. Sansa hoped that he would like this symbolic gesture and that her family would understand that none of this was true. Still, she wondered if the gods could forgive such cowardice. After all, she was a Stark and she couldn't justify everything with her will to survive. She should have let him beat her for honor. But she was probably a little too weak. She couldn't forgive herself for that. Sansa looked in the mirror and saw the tired face of a young girl, her eyes bruised from crying. She looked like she had been through more than any other woman her age, and even felt much more mature than she was. That evening, she decided to go to Godswood to apologize to the gods and beg for mercy.

There were no Northern Gods here, but Sansa thought of them too. She remembered what the septa taught her. The gods consider people to be weak and fragile creatures, but they forgive easily. However, you must ask them and have a humble heart. It was a summer evening, the beautiful scent of southern flowers wafted around, and I could hear frogs croaking in the nearby pond. Sansa closed her eyes, praying to the Gods and enjoying the evening idyll. She thought about how happy the Gods must be right now, watching people suffer. Thus, she came up with the idea that they would forgive her. She smiled at the figurines and asked for a lot of courage. "If it's not too much to ask, please make my fate and Joffrey's separate forever. Please show me that you care about me." Sansa looked pleadingly at the figurines symbolizing the Gods, and then quickly wiped a tear from her cheeks. She felt relieved. Now her prayers have gone to heaven and will surely be considered. She wanted to believe it so much, she had been suffering nothing but misfortunes for several months, and recently she suspected that she was also suffering from some mysterious disease. She often felt sick and dizzy. She hoped it was from stress.

Sometimes, during the day, she felt really sick, and despite changing what she ate, the nausea didn't go away. Sansa didn't know much about medicine and diseases, but she felt that it was something disturbing. One evening, when the servants were undressing her, she noticed that her body had changed in a strange way. Her breasts became swollen and much larger than last time. The girl felt that they often hurt. These symptoms were disturbing, but she didn't have much time to think about it. She constantly thought about the letter and the reaction her family would have when she received it, and about the Gods, whose mercy she needed so much now. Sansa smiled at the sun, which was slowly setting behind the horizon. The rays beautifully highlighted her chestnut hair and blue eyes. Many of the men working in the palace looked at her with interest as she walked through the gardens. Although Sansa had heard many times from others that they considered her beautiful, she never shared that opinion. She considered herself a normal girl, unremarkable in anything, and wanted it to stay that way because the sight of men looking at her scared her. However, if her beauty was to help her in any way, it should bring her true love, not rape by her own fiancé. Sansa remembered that Arya had never been objectively beautiful, but she had been very happy. Her sister was also carefree and needed little to be happy. Sansa had had great expectations from the beginning, and now because of them, she had become a slave and a hostage.

The sun was setting as Sansa approached the arbor. She heard the loud cries of a small boy and the sounds of swords clashing. "I won't, I won't," the boy's voice sounded familiar to her. Sansa followed the child's voice and to her disgust saw Prince Tommen practicing swordplay with his teacher, a knight of the Kingsguard. His older brother was watching everything that was happening next to him. Joffrey's mouth was pouting like a fish and he was looking at his brother with great displeasure. Sansa thought how awful it was to have a brother like him. Her brothers had always supported each other. Even Jon, who was a bastard, had never been rejected by Robb or Bran. She walked over to them and bowed to Joffrey, who as usual seemed not to even notice her. He was puffed up and red with anger.

-If you didn't eat so much, it would be easier for you to hold that sword. You eat as much as a herd of adult pigs- he added with a sneer. Tommen burst into tears and threw his sword on the ground.

-Joff, I promise I will learn. Please, don't punish me for this-! The small, plump boy almost tripped over his shoes and fell to the ground. Sansa thought with horror what punishment Joffrey could give his brother and how much she felt sorry for him for how he was treated. Although she knew the consequences, the sight of Tommen crying tore her heart in two. Sansa walked over to the knight training ground and offered him a hand to help him up.

-Thank you, Sansa- said the little prince, standing on his feet as if he had more energy and became very happy, and he plucked a flower and gave it to her.

-Thank you- Sansa replied politely.

Joffrey interrupted the idyll by walking up to his fiancée and snatching the flower from her hand. He tore it in half, leaving the rest in the redhead's hand.

-What are these weeds?- he asked sarcastically, throwing the torn flower onto the grass.

-I'm sorry, I thought it was pretty...- Tommen looked at Sansa with regret, as if he also felt sorry for her being betrothed to Joffrey.

-Your Highness...-Sansa began, stuttering.

-Your brother... I don't think you should...- Sansa was becoming increasingly confused as Joffrey's anger flooded her like a tsunami.

-Your Highness, your brother needs understanding,- she said, taking a deep breath and trying to calm down after such a great act of courage.

-He's a prince. He can't act like a little pig. He eats more food in one meal than other children in 2 days, and he can't use a sword.- Joffrey frowned, still irritated.

To her surprise, her words didn't even irritate him, he spoke to her like to a painting, as if she wasn't there at all.

- And what are you doing here? - he asked curiously.

- I was passing by the garden... - she replied quietly, testing his reaction. Joffrey turned his back to her, but Sansa was speechless. Now every word she said irritated him greatly.

The king turned to Ser Meryn.

- Make sure Tommen exercises tomorrow morning and order the servants to watch how much the little bastard eats - he said dryly. Tommen disappeared with the knight and his assistants.

Joff gave Sansa an unpleasant look from under his eyebrows.

- Don't interfere in matters that aren't yours. I advise you well - he said and without looking at her he moved forward with his servants. Sansa bowed and looked at the departing Joffrey. She sighed deeply, feeling sorry for the little prince. Tommen reminded her of her brother Brann – small, innocent, and already so hurt by fate. She quickly felt guilty that while she was in Winterfell, she didn't take care of her siblings as much as she should have. She sighed heavily and headed towards the castle. When she passed another beautifully flowering tree and bush, she realized that someone had been following her for some time. She turned on her heel and saw the guards running after little Tommen, who was running towards her.

-Sansa, Sansa!-Tommen shouted and lightly grabbed a piece of her dress. The material tore slightly, but Sansa didn't complain. She could see how the little prince wanted to talk to her.

-Sansa, please. Don't let Joffy hit me- he said almost in a whisper! Sansa's eyes widened in surprise. She knew perfectly well that she couldn't help.

All these things worried her very much. She watched Tommen walk away towards the guards, and then he would look at her from a distance with the same request. "Poor thing, I can't help him," she thought ruefully. Tommen was a beautiful little child, but no one in the kingdom had ever influenced King Joffrey. Sansa saw a flash before her eyes and felt herself lose her balance. She felt sick again.

-My lady, are you all right?- one of the servants suddenly appeared and grabbed her hand.

-I'll bring you water- she added. Sansa had a feeling that the illness was not temporary after all. It was unfair that the gods had abandoned her.