See it didn't take me years to update this time! And a huge shout out to mendenbar who has been willing to stick it out with me this long. Also your last review gave me some ideas, so thank you.

And as always, I really wish I could say I own Bones, but I can't. I never would have done this actual episode the way they had if it was mine….

Mom carefully placed her drink on the table and then leaned back, folding her hands in her lap. She let out a long breath and then squarely looked at me. "I know you won't tolerate Christine being hurt, Seeley. I meant what I said about you being stronger than I am. I've been able to see how much this family means to you. You have always been the type to protect, even when you were little." She swallowed. "God knows I was no help in that area. And I can understand that, even if my history suggests I'm not good at it."

I shrugged, "This isn't exactly a blame game right now, Mom. But you have to understand that I can't just be willing to look past this anymore, It's affected my past, sure, but it could also affect not just my future but my child's. That's something I'm very serious about, and I just needed to make that as clear as I could."

Mom nodded. "And you have. Very. You've been right about everything, Seeley. You and Temperance both. I have not handled any of this well. I have spent basically all of my life after your father taking the path of least resistance so to speak, The easy way. I've never been good at confrontation anyway, but after your father anything smacking of something hard sent me running the other way. It doesn't excuse the way I handled leaving, particularly when it came to you and Jared, but you said something about facing fears and shortcomings. This is one of my worst. I am going through therapy right now for that, because you've both made me realize that I can't keep going on as I have. Especially not with you. I..." her voice trailed off.

I leaned forward, "You what, Mom?"

She lowered her head for a few moments and at first I thought she wasn't going to answer. When she looked back up and at my face, though, I realized that the expression on her face was more resolved than I had ever seen it during any of the conversations we had had to this point.

"You have made me face up to the kind of damage I've created by not being willing to stand up. Not just now, with throwing my new family in your face, but the long term damage I've done to both my children. You and Jared both. And to me there is no worse feeling in the world. I hope you never know how that feels." At the startled look on my face, she shook her head, and gave a small smile. "No, you won't will you? Because you will always put your family first. I didn't, and I'm paying for that now. As I should. I believe you've always been strong, Seeley, but you should not have gone through the hell both your father and I put you through to find that out. When you told me about your gambling and Jared's drinking, I felt like the bottom fell out of my world. The only thing I could think was that I helped contribute to that. My leaving helped make that happen. And I am in no way proud of that. I am, however, proud of you. Not just surviving everything you have, but for being willing to face me with it, and make me realize exactly what I should have already known." At this she fell silent and swallowed. She was folded and unfolded her hands in her lap a few times until she finally clenched them into fists.

There was a loaded silence in the room after Mom stopped speaking. It seemed like no one knew where to go after that. Next to me I felt Bones shift in her seat and then she placed her hand on my arm. I twisted my head to look at her and she gave me a slight smile. Then she turned to my mother. "I can appreciate the fact, Marianne, that you can now realize the impact of the neglect of his childhood on Booth. However, I will say that I agree that you should have realized there would have been consequences, Booth has stated that this is not about blame, however, I find that I am angry for Booth that you have been unwilling to deal with the fall in..."

"Fallout, Bones. It's fallout." I muttered under my breath, wondering where the hell this conversation was about to go.

Bones nodded. "Fallout. You were not there to witness the sort of impact that the environment he grew up in has had. I can accept that you were in an untenable situation, but you chose to leave your children in an environment that was not conducive to raising children. That was, in fact dangerous, and could very well have turned out to be lethal. It is not something Booth likes to dwell on, and perhaps that was why he did not ask more questions of you when you reentered his life. Booth has a tendency to be able to hide his physical and emotional pain. A 'brave face' so to speak, but that hardly means it isn't there. We both have been through so much," Bones' voice broke slightly and she grabbed my hand to squeeze it. "He deserves so much more than to feel as if he deserves to be discarded. Because he does not. He deserves the opposite, in fact. And I believe he felt unworthy when you mentioned raising another family. Am I wrong?"

I sighed. Clearly that last question was directed at me. "No Bones, I wouldn't say you were wrong." I fiddled with my drink in my hands for a few seconds and then stared straight at Mom. "It made me feel not just useless, but like garbage, Mom. All the things I like to think I accomplished in my life, and one conversation with you and I feel like an unwanted kid. Like anyone's kids were better than yours. I can't speak for Jared, but since we're being honest, that's what I felt like. You may not have meant it that way, but that's the way it came across to me. I hated feeling like that, Mom. I had enough of that with Dad. I really wanted to be past that. To feel like I survived and made a decent life for myself. And I'd like to think I became a decent man..."

Bones interrupted here. "Of course you are Booth. You are a good man. I have told you that multiple times. I have always firmly believed that. Even before we became mates."

I nodded. "I know. Bones, just...let me say this, OK?" At her nod, I continued. "I just...Mom I don't want to keep feeling like a scared, unwanted child. That's a lot of why we're talking about this. You need to know where I'm coming from here. Bones is right. I'm glad you're willing to acknowledge that your actions hurt, and that you're being honest, but all of that goes both ways. So I'm giving you the same consideration. It's not just your leaving that has hurt, Mom. It's also how you handled coming back. Bones suggested once I should have asked more questions and she was right, but the denial about the past was on both of us. I don't want to keep being angry about this, but that means we need to clear the air, and have some time to process all of this. Because in spite of Bones here believing I'm a good man, I have moments I feel like Dad, and I can't subject my family to that, They deserve a hell of a lot better home life than I had before Pops took us in. I need for them to have that. I've been a pretty screwed up guy, Mom. And I don't to pass all of that on to my kids. "I shook my head. "Especially Dad's rage. I..." I swallowed. "I don't want my kids to have the memories I do, Mom. The nightmares. I already worry about what kind of parent I am, I don't want to pass on the rage and feeling of worthlessness on top of that. And yes, you did help contribute to that, which is why we've been having these conversations."

"I know," Mom whispered. "I know, Seeley."

Bones removed her hand from mine and wrapped her arm around mine. We sat that there in silence again, and all I could think was "now what?"

Well, breaking this conversation up. These things can get kind of long since they're not easy ones to have! Also a comment about Brennan calling Booth her mate. When I started this story, they weren't married, there was no second child, plus Pops, Max and Sweets were all still alive. Which should tell you how long it's taken to come back to this story….