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(Weiss PoV)

Cloud was out in the backyard under a tall willow tree setting up tables and chairs and the arch of the altar. Normally small weddings were frowned up in Remnant across pretty much all cultures. The bigger the party the fewer Grimm the better. But Patch was safe and harbored against the tide of darkness. And it wasn't like we were inviting all the neighbors and their families in town. Most of the attendees would be flying in and staying in the empty kids' rooms.

We got a catering service with beef and salmon steaks for the guests and set that up to arrive tomorrow. I had picked out all the flowers in the vases and tables and lanterns to hang above them. Now the only thing to do was watch my future husband work. And he did it diligently and without really needing to be told what to do.

So I just watched him out of the window of the kitchen as he threaded white and red roses in the arch at the altar. He was careful not to damage the flowers and make the side facing the seats pretty. He laid out the ten or so chairs for the guests and three tables with vases and more flowers. The cake would arrive tomorrow and I'd have a lot to fret over but for the time being my planning was done.

Big affairs were overrated anyways. I went over the guest list in my head. Tiayang and Klein to walk us down the little red carpet aisle up to the hanging weeping willow. Yang and Qrow to top off Ruby's family. Blake, Oscar, and Penny for our friends. Then there were the three of us and the arrangements for the three fallen. But that was it. That was all.

We considered CFVY and SSSN but excluded CFVY because we hadn't seen them in years and felt like they wouldn't really belong at such an intimate gathering. The same could be said for SSSN. Except we might be a little closer to them but Cloud hadn't invited Neo so I didn't feel quite right inviting Neptune even though he would have allowed me for sure and probably wouldn't have minded.

Still for such a small group and with Penny being the only one bringing a plus one with her father it wasn't quite right to invite SSSN or any member of it.

That was eleven people total.

It was somehow bigger than I thought it would be but smaller than I always imagined. With my family it was rather expected to be a large affair with all sorts of other wealthy elite and business men. But I was rather glad I left that behind for this tiny group. It was smaller but it was much more pure. Like all the ailing alloys had been centrifuged away to leave behind a solid core of gold.

Who needed all that jazz anyway? Who needed to hire a whole band when Cloud could set out speakers.

He'd wanted to do the set up and clean up in the backyard of the entire thing. Said he wanted to at least do something to contribute. Ruby came up behind me and wrapped her arms around me just below my ribs. She gave me a gentle squeeze that I sighed into at the same time she squealed. She kissed my cheek then she released me to pace around the island.

"Tomorrow is the big day," she murmured. She got down two wine glasses and filled them up.

"Not so big, really," I murmured back. I accepted the flute from her and she walked back over to me to watch Cloud work. He wasn't working particularly hard and had his headphones in and plugged into his scroll. He was jamming as he lazily meandered across the set up chairs.

"Did you always imagine it would be huge?" She asked.

"Well, it wasn't my dream. More what my father had planned. This is much more quiet and honest than that daydream."

"In a good or a bad way?" She asked.

"Good. I think. It's hard to be sure. It's not what I always pictured but I do think it's what I always wanted," I sipped on my wine.

"I always wanted it intimate but never quite this small. I always thought… I don't know? I always wanted to only invite my closest friends," she said.

"Right," I granted and pushed her to go on.

"But I guess I just wish I had more close friends. Is that weird."

"Not for you. No."

She pouted at me adorably. "What's that mean? I'm the lonely sort with no friends?"

"That's me," I corrected. "No matter how many friends you had, you would still have wanted more. That's you," I informed her.

"I guess. And I mean, I have more close people than you and definitely more than Cloud. So I should be thankful? I suppose? But like how thankful am I supposed to be because JNPR were my friends too. That was three more right there but that's not about me. It's about Cloud."

"You're allowed to be hurt too," I pointed out.

"Yeah I know but it makes me feel just worse for Cloud. Like he doesn't have anyone. You know? Except us and he's marrying us. So my heart aches for him. Which it should."

"Probably," I agreed.

"But I feel that about you. You know. You don't have anyone else really either. No family."

"Yeah but I have friends and that's pretty good. And I have the family I'm building," I pointed.

"And Cloud has a bit of that and I have it too. But… I don't know. Am I selfish for wanting more when he and you have so little?"

"No, Ruby. You don't have a selfish bone in your body," I murmured over my wine.

"I do though because I'm forcing him to have kids with me," she disagreed.

"Me too. And he could say 'no.'"

"Can he say 'no' to me? Is it possible for him to tell me 'no?' Or do I own his soul. And you do too. I guess I'm saying I'm a little selfish. But I'm allowed to be? And I know he's scared but he really is going to be an excellent father. And at the first sign of Salem messing with our babies he's going to fly away in her direction and cut the head off that snake with all sorts of wrath and fury."

"And he should," I agreed.

"And he should. And I can't really tell him 'no' at that point. I guess I feel like I'm strong arming him."

"Well we are. We want more time with him before he confronts his family," I murmured. "If we were less selfish we'd let him fly."

"See!? And so I do have selfish bones in my body. Multiple. Because I want his kids and his time and his life and his death. And I want all that from you too but it's panning out like I'm going to get that from you."

"And not from him," I nodded along.

"And not from him. So now what do I do? You know? I have all these selfish bones in my body and he's counting on me as his moral compass."

"And I do too," I pointed out. It was true. I looked at Ruby awfully fast for moral decisions.

"You do too!" She fell to her knees in the kitchen. At the activity and energy Red got up from his big bed in the family room and started sniffing Ruby's hair. "Heya Red," Ruby mumbled. "I don't suppose you have any advice for a forlorn girl on the day before her wedding?"

Red licked her face.

"Bleh," Ruby grimaced. I giggled at her. "So I'm left wondering if Cloud even wants this."

"He does. He desperately wants this. He wants nothing more than to ignore his family business and live with us," I whispered. "He wants to give us kids so badly I wouldn't be surprised if it makes him cry sometimes. He wants us. He wants us so much."

"But he also wants to fight his mother," Ruby said from the floor. "Like he really wants to fight her. And he really wants to probably die. So I tangled him up. With all these red ribbon attachments. And all he wants is to fucking die."

"Right now all he wants is to put together our wedding," I pointed out at the yard.

"Be serious with me for a second," Ruby pleaded.

"I am," I defended myself. "Right now all he wants to do is get that tablecloth unfolded. Look. Watch him."

Ruby got up and looked out the window at where Cloud was struggling to get a cloth evened out over a table.

"That's all he really wants. He wants to make us happy. He just also has these other responsibilities. Things he absolutely must do vs the things he really desperately wants. I think he wants this family. I think Salem's hold over him is getting weaker. I think he needs to tighten up, buttercup. Because he's damn good husband material and probably going to be an excellent father. Like you said. And you shouldn't feel bad about that. He would feel bad that you were feeling bad and I feel it too. You don't need to worry after me so much. I'm right here with you. I'm right here struggling with our family right beside you. Yeah I wish I had more friends and a better family. But I think that's a lot of people."

"I just don't want you to have been lonely," Ruby murmured.

"Well I was lonely. I was. I had an awful family situation and no friends. But not anymore. I have you. I have Cloud. I have Blake and Yang. Things are better for me than they have ever been. I've got a whole blossoming family in my future. One rich in love and affection. I was lonely. But not anymore." I took another drink of wine.

"I hate that you were lonely. I hate it. It makes me mad," Ruby hissed. "It rakes at my heart. It makes me want to claw and spit. But there's nothing to fight. It hurts."

I rubbed her back gently. "You don't have to hurt for me anymore. It's enough for you to love me now."

"And I want to," Ruby begged. She begged like I was stopping her from doing it.

I gestured towards myself and she walked over. We embraced deeply. I gave her a passionate kiss on the lips and she nestled her hand in my hair and squeezed the loose strands tightly in her fingers. She parted with a gasp and a little sigh.

"You know what I mean?" She demanded.

"Yeah," I nodded and took a drink of wine. "Yeah I do."

"Like I want to do it and have done it and be doing it. But in so many ways it feels like it's too late. Because you were hurt. It hurts so bad."

Ruby collapsed forward into my breast and I brushed her hair and shushed her.

"I was. Shsh. It's okay. I'm okay now. I am. I promise I am."

"Would you know it?!" She sobbed.

"I think so. I think I would. I think I do. Hush, now. I'm safe and happy."

"Now!" She cried. "But you weren't! And that hurts so bad. And here I am crying like I was abused. It was you!"

"It's okay. You'll look after me now. I'm sure of it."

"And you might be okay. You really might be. Now. After all of that."

"I think I am. It's okay. Let it all come out. You poor, darling, little empath. I'm okay. I am. I'm happy. I'm not lonely anymore."

"But Cloud isn't!" She choked in a collapsing sob. I felt her tears against my neck as her whole body rocked. "You might be. Might be. But Cloud just so isn't. He wouldn't know 'okay' if it stabbed him in the chest. He'd probably thank it if stab-bed him." She sobbed. "He w-wants to die so bad."

"I know. It's okay. He's been tearing you up. You poor thing. You've been feeding off his energy and reading his aura without any defense." I tutted at her with my tongue. "But it's okay. We're going to look after him. We'll make sure he's okay. You and me. We can do it. You've been feeding off him and bottling it up haven't you? You've been reading him and it's tearing at you."

"But if I feel this bad imagine how bad he feels! Just all the time. He wishes he was dead so often!"

"I hear you. I do. I hear you. But we can help him. We're his best shot."

"And you close yourself off to me too!"

"I don't mean to. I just feel him and then hide myself. He's in so much pain. I feel it too."

"You're used to it. From your abuse."

"Probably a little. Yeah."

She broke down crying again. "N-n-no one should have to live like that!"

"And I don't anymore. You make me okay. You do. I'll be better about shutting myself off and attune myself to your aura better. I will. I promise. I'll work on being less guarded."

"But you're not the only one."

"No, Cloud's bottled up too. Isn't he? He closes himself off from us even during sex sometimes."

"I r-r-reach out and he doesn't hold me!" Ruby sobbed. "I want him to cradle me and wrap me up and hold me but he just doesn't. He holds back!"

"I know. You poor empathic little woman. I know. It hurts. I know. Just let it all out. It's okay. It's okay you precious dear."

"Do you think it's Salem?" Ruby asked.

"Why he holds back?"

She nodded bleary eyed at me. Her silver eyes were red stained from crying.

"It could be. A part of his mental defenses or a reflex."

"I don't want him to have to feel guarded around me when we're alone but what if he does? What if he has to in order to keep up his mental defenses."

"I don't know. But we're going to figure this out. Okay? I promise." I kissed her forehead. "I promise. And I'll try and be more open and less veiled too. It's important that you have that. Okay? I just need the occasional reminder. Alright? I'll work on it. For sure I'll work on it. And we'll talk to Cloud and he'll work on it too. He will if we ask him to. He just will."

"Sometimes he opens up and it's like a gaping wound in his soul and I can't bear to look at it," Ruby confessed with a hiccup. She tried whipping her eyes. "No wonder he wishes he were dead. You know? Maybe if I were in his position I would too. Maybe I'm cruel to keep him alive. Maybe it's selfish. Maybe it's wrong to tell him 'I love you' and 'I miss you.' Maybe what we should tell him is 'it's okay, we don't want you to suffer anymore.'"

"No. Never. We can do this. We can heal him. We can. We're making progress. He's better now than he was two months ago. And in a year he'll be even better. Me too. I will too. You'll see. It would be wrong to give up on him."

"You're sure?" She begged.

"Well…" I couldn't lie to her. "No. I'm not certain. But I don't want to give up on him."

"What if it's what he needs?"

"He needs time to heal and rest. That's what he needs. Okay. You poor empathetic little dear. Be strong for me and him. Okay? We both need you so bad. We do. We wouldn't be whole without you. It hurt so bad when it was just him and I. I need you."

She nodded gently. "What if it's like saving an ice cube from the cold?"

I wasn't sure what she meant by that. So I hugged her tight. "We will make progress. You'll see. It's possible, it is. You'll see. I feel him too when he opens up and his organs are all exposed and his skin is all flayed. That's why I close myself off. I can't look at that wound in his soul. But I will. I won't let you face it alone. And we'll watch the skin close together."

"It won't be enough. That's not the kind of hurt that gets better even with a hundred years," Ruby whispered.

"You'll see. He'll get better. Wait until his children are born. You'll see. Hush now. I've got you."

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-WG