Ch 5: Cardiac Chaos

When Dove woke the next morning she was alone in her bed, her usual sleep clothing on and her crow plush placed against her chest. She slowly reached for him and held him close, looking around herself as she pulled the blanket up closer. The room was empty, Loki wasn't there. Oddly, that bothered her a bit but she was distracted enough trying to take in the end of last night.

She was more then certain she had passed out without getting dressed and for sure Mr. Feathers was not nearby. Had Loki done this? She groaned as she reached for her scroll and pulled it over to herself, scrolling through it until she found the contact she was looking for and sent a message before getting up slowly, rubbing her tired face.

The room door opened and Loki entered, tossing a towel from her hair to her bed before smiling at Dove and walking over, leaning over and giving a light nip to Dove's lip before staring at her, "Morning Babe. You look like you are feeling better."

Dove glanced away and her fingers fiddled with her crow before she mumbled something quietly and reached out, grasping Loki by the shirt and yanking the girl over into the bed with her as she laid back down, the pink haired girl falling down over to the other side of her with a laugh and watching her face as Dove hid it a bit behind the plush, eyes narrowing, "Shut up."

Loki smirked, gently reaching a finger to lower the stuffed bird away from Dove's face, "I didn't say anythin… yet."

Dove rolled her eyes before curling in close to Loki, "I… don't feel like being by myself right now."

Loki just nodded, arms yanking Dove over fulling suddenly which made the girl gasp softly, wrapping her in strong arms. The two laid there most of the day, getting through their Sunday quietly.

—-

The fall turned to winter and cold air and snow drifted into the mountains. It ended up rather difficult to keep Loki focused on school when all she really wanted to do was take a snowboard and find a place to enjoy herself but Dove found ways to keep her on task even if it sometimes meant tempting Loki with physical offers.

Which was well and good for Dove. The two had entered some sort of strange realm of unspoken fuck buddies that Dove refused to talk more about because discussing it only seemed to give Loki way too much pride and ego that would lead to too much teasing and the girl trying too much to get Dove to agree to more then just the current arrangements. Dove wanted none of that right now. All she wanted was to get through school and when it suited her, enjoy moments of pleasure while enjoying the care that came after.

Dove wouldn't admit it but she was also really enjoying the sweet attention that followed every time they had sex. In fact, some days she was pretty sure she enjoyed that part most, especially on rougher days though she didn't enjoy it without the sex so she was stuck sorting all that out personally in her brain on her own too.

The final week before the winter break for the holidays was also parents week that Haven Acamedy held so the parents could come and check in on their progress at the midpoint of the year. It was mostly held for first and second year students but all years were welcome to participate.

Venere and Raiden were from the mountains so neither of them had anyone coming out and were instead heading home early. Dove was watching them get ready to leave from her room doorway and sighed, "I can't believe I never realized you two have known each other since you were kids."

Venere just smiled at her as she set a bag outside her room before going back in, "that's alright. You aren't much for asking about people's backgrounds. Raiden grew up with the monks you already knew but that's a temple outside my village so we have known each other since we were little."

He came out as well with his own bag and grabbed Venere's as well before the two put on coats. Dove nodded, "Well that actually explains so much."

Venere just smiled and touched her arm before they waved goodbye and left. She slipped back into her room in time for Loki to grab her and turn her to the wall, pressing her into it with her grip in Dove's hair, pushing her head to the wall, listening to Dove's breath quicken. The taller girl leaned in, pressing into Dove's back with her chest, feet kicking Dove's apart with her own planting on the inner sides of them, "Just us now Babe."

Dove took a deep breath, closing her eyes, "My father is on his way Loki… we can't do this right now…"

She heard that sly chuckle that made her tremble as her fingers gripped into the wall in front of her near her waist. Loki nibbled at her ear, hot breath brushing across the skin making Dove whine slightly, "Tell me ya don't want me to and I'll stop."

Dove bit her lip, taking a moment to trying to sound convincing, "I… don't…"

"Liar," Loki said, voice thick with temptation.

As teeth pulled on her ear lobe, Dove let out a moan, squirming slightly, "Loki…please… if my father finds out I'll never live this down…"

"Go on a date with me and I'll stop," Loki said softly, fingers of her hand not tangled in Dove's hair trailing down Dove's side and across her hip, tucking under the waistband of her shorts and teasing the skin with firm pressure into her skin.

Dove panted lightly, hips shifting in need as she hid her face into the wall from Loki, "no."

Loki smirked, thumb popping the button of the shorts open and pressing down the zipper open, scratching her fingers harshly down under the soft fabric of Dove's underwear slowly, Dove's hips shaking and the girl's breath catching in response as teeth yanked her ear, "Fine. Then we are doing this."

Dove's eyes closed tighter, "Loki… this isn't fair."

"And yet we both know ya want it," Loki teased, nails dragging further down until they reached Dove's wet folds, teasing along her slit and making Dove moan.

As Loki tortured her with never actually giving her any needed friction, fingers coming close but never landing anywhere Dove was ever growing needy for, Dove whimpered, "I d-don't have time for this…"

Loki chuckled darkly and tremors traveled Dove's spine, "I don't remember asking what you have time for slut."

Dove's teeth gripped on her own lip stifling a groan as she shifted her hips trying desperately for relief that Loki refused her, the girl biting at her shoulder roughly, a knock coming to their dorm suite door. A hand moved from Dove's hair to her mouth, covering it as Loki finally gave her what she wanted below, pinching and stroking roughly against Dove's bundle of nerves causing Dove to cry out into her hand. Loki grinned, "Better not get us caught if ya know what's good for ya."

She could feel Dove shivering and bucking at her fingers, the risk and sound of the knocking only raising her arousal as Loki gave her everything she could want along her clit and soon inside her core, rapid thrusting fingers curling and scraping skin, her knees feeling weak. Loki's hips grinding into her ass was only adding to all the stimulation, Loki not bothering to hide any of her own pleasure as her tongue dragged Dove's skin and she bit and tugged on Dove's ear, moaning into it while Dove squirmed in her grasp against the wall.

Dove could faintly hear her father calling out at the door trying to get her to answer it. She had told him she was waiting for him here and had not changed their meeting point so he was bound to linger until she finally answered. Her eyes squeezed tightly, drooling against Loki's hand as she spasmed, tensing and moaning deeply muffled by the strong grip on her face as she trembled through her orgasm at Loki's mercy, her ears burning at the sounds of Loki's high as those strong hips ground into her hard from behind.

When Loki relaxed, Dove was slowly released, panting and bracing herself against the wall, "Fuck you Loki…"

Loki just laughed, "I think we already did that yea?"

Dove glared at her with flushed cheeks, stumbling towards the bathroom to try to fix herself, "you better let him in and say something to fix this."

The taller girl raised her brow and folded her arms but Dove was already slipping into the bathroom. Loki walked to the door, opening it with a smirk, as Qrow was mid knock, "Oh, uh… hi. Dove here?"

Loki stepped aside, hooking a thumb over her shoulder at the bathroom door, "She's in there. She'll be out soon."

He nodded, "Thanks… say you kinda look familiar."

"Well my parents did travel all over Anima and Solitas and shit with you so that doesn't surprise me," Loki stated, sounding very disinterested in the conversation.

Qrow leaned in, squinting at her, "Ah got it. You must be Ren and Nora's kid. I saw them outside a little while ago."

There was a thud in the bathroom that drew the two's attention before Loki slipped from around Qrow, going to the hallway, "Yea… well guess I'll go find them."

In truth, Loki wasn't interested in getting too chummy with Qrow while Dove was being so resistant against having anything more with her. The idea just made her angry. She really liked Dove and hated that it was starting to feel like everyone else. She wanted to be more than just someone Dove could get her rocks off with but at the same time, Loki was weak to the fact Dove fit so well with her own desires and it made it really hard for her to just stop so that she could prove she actually cared.

Not that it mattered. Dove was so resistant against letting Loki in emotionally. Loki could tell Dove liked her even if the girl didn't realize it yet but with how much Dove refused, she was starting to get very frustrated and the routine they had was starting to feel very unfulfilling and empty because Loki's feelings were just growing and being ignored and evaded.

Qrow watched her walk away for a while until Dove stepped out quickly towards him, "S-sorry Dad."

He chuckled a bit, fixing her bangs some which were still a bit askew, "Hey it's fine kid. Why don't we head down and you can tell me about how you've been doing?"

She nodded, locking up behind her as they made their way to the grounds which had been prepared for the event, food being served and teachers about talking to parents. Dove and Qrow settled into a table and she watched the students all around her, eyes catching Loki with her parents. The woman had Loki in a head lock and was messing with her hair while the man seemed to be well mannered, Loki giving the same rough energy back in return.

"Well that clears up so much…" Dove grumbled under her breath.

It caused Qrow to turn his head and take in what his daughter was staring at with that unpleasant glare before he laughed, "Ah right your partner. You know I saved the world with her parents and their leader right?"

Dove glanced over at him surprised, fingers quickly searching around on her scroll, "What?! How did I not know that? I was sure I read that one…"

A hand gently lowered the screen and she looked up at her father giving her a kind smile, "How about I just tell you about this one kid?"

And so he did. Dove was easily swallowed up with every detail, the two sitting there for hours as he told her everything about it, even the parts that weren't so happy like all the deaths including her grandfather, Jacque, and Nora and Ren's teammates Pyrrha and Jaune. When he was done, Dove was quiet, watching him with careful eyes, taking in the sadness in his.

He was staring at his fingers when he felt two arms wrap around his shoulders and glanced, Dove hugging him lightly, her face resting in his slicked back hair, "I'm sorry Dad. That all sounds like a lot to go through. I know you all won but… it still sounds like it was miserable."

He gave a light chuckle and touched her arm, "Yea… winning doesn't always mean happily ever after kid. But I think these days most of us are finding happiness where we can."

He patted her arm and she squeezed before she pulled away. She knew he was talking about her. She could remember how lonely and depressing his life looked before she revealed herself to him as her daughter. He looked happier and healthier now. They left to walk along the river and she was lost in her thoughts, "Hey Dad… do you think if you could go back, you would choose to live without a love in your life?"

He laughed, "You really have been on that topic lately huh? If this is about your mother again I already told you that's not…"

She shook her head, "No. It's not. I just… was wondering really. It seems the common thing to do is to fall in love, eventually get married, maybe even have kids. I don't see many adults like you and Mom who just… don't find love. So I was curious if that's something people actually like having in life or if it's just something that happens sometimes."

He watched her carefully, thinking back to how she seemed on the way to Haven months ago, "You want to finally tell me what's going on kid?"

Dove stopped, watching the current in the river but didn't respond. He could see her gaze heavy with her thoughts in her eyes and sighed, "Alright. I can take a hint. I'll stop asking. Look kid, I don't think anyone really ever wants to live their lives alone forever. Sometimes it's easier or it just turns out that way. Some people just don't find it. Some people live such dangerous lives it never happens or it happens and is gone so quickly all the time it isn't worth trying anymore. Everyone has their reasons. But you're young. If you have a chance to find joy with someone, enjoy it while it lasts and try not to think about it too hard ok? Letting yourself be happy now doesn't mean you are signing yourself up for anything later. Take things day by day if you want and only do what you feel like is right for you."

She glanced over at him then back at the water, nodding lightly, "Yea… we should probably head back."

He nodded. The parents were not staying on campus so he dropped her off at her dorm before calling Winter on his way to his hotel, "Yea she's doing great in school you should already know that but look, Winter… she still seems really bothered by something. I can't get her to talk to me about it, maybe she'll tell you. I dun know she just… still looks sad when no one's looking."

Winter nodded, sighing and rubbing her face. He could see her office in the background as he got into his room, "I'll try to talk to her when she sees me for the break. Thanks for going for this Qrow. I wanted to but I have so much to do at work."

He nodded, "Hey she's my kid too you know. I don't need to be thanked for being here for her. Just try not to work yourself to death, Ice Queen."

He received a frown, he voice stern, "Goodnight Qrow."

—-

In the dorms, Dove let herself in to a very loud amount of noise, eyes wide as she rounded into her room to Nora and Ren there with Loki, the man sitting politely on the edge of Loki's bed as Loki and Nora were in a battle of some sort of arm wrestle over Loki's desk, the woman cackling, "You call that strength Loki! HA! And you said you were working out this year!"

Loki's teeth were gritted and she was straining against Nora, slowly losing the match, "Yea well… it's not my fault you are so freakishly strong!"

Ren leaned looking at Dove and gave a kind wave, pointing at the two and mouthing an apology. Dove tucked hair behind her ear and shrugged, walking around the two energized females to her side of the room and sitting on her bed, frowning as she watched the primal display, Nora twisting Loki's arm flat and claiming victory as Loki rubbed her arm.

"Nora… we should head out for the night. We are going to bother Loki's roommate," Ren said kindly.

The woman turned so suddenly towards Dove the girl's eyes went wide and she pulled her legs to herself, backing up a bit in surprise, "AHA! You must be the girl Loki is always talking about! Wow Loki you said she was cute but you didn't say she was THIS cute!"

Dove was quick to regain herself and glare at Loki, legs returning over the edge of her bed as she frowned, "Oh really now?"

Nora's head tilted and her hand came to her chin, "You have such a familiar stare. OH! you are that little girl! Ruby and Weiss's niece right!? The Branwen girl! Yup you totally have that Schnee glare alright! Still a little hottie though. So when are you bringing her over for dinner Loki?"

Dove's frown was turning into a deep scowl as she stared daggers into her partner, "Didn't know I was going anywhere with you."

Ren stood, putting a hand over Nora's babbling and excusing them, "Sorry about that. It was nice to meet you. We will get out of your hair now. Goodnight. Loki, we love you, we will see you tomorrow alright?"

She nodded as he led Nora out. When they were gone, Loki turned her eyes to the angry roommate and chuckled, "What? I told her I had a crush on my roommate. Not my fault she gets carried away."

Dove grit her teeth, "Oh not that shit again! Loki this is just sex dammit! Why do you have to keep making this complicated!?"

Loki's smile flattened and she reached, grabbing for something under her bed, "Because I really do like ya."

"Stop it," Dove warned, watching Loki rip her bag from under her bed curiously.

"Why should I? Worried if ya have to talk feelings it'll get too hard for ya?" Loki started packing the bag for winter break angrily.

Dove's hands moved to grip the edge of her mattress, "Fuck you Loki. I don't like you like that. That what you really want to hear because if you are going to make me say it then I am going to say it!"

Loki shoved more clothes into the bag, mumbling something Dove didn't catch under her breath. The girl watching her sighed with irritation, "What!? Say what you want to say then! Fine, I'm listening dammit! You gonna tell me you love me or some bullshit Loki? Is that it huh? Well you can fucking save it ok? This is just us fucking each other. You want to stand there and act like you have feelings for me when the only thing we ever do together other then school is fuck?! That's shit and you know it!"

Dove was hit in the face by a shirt thrown swiftly across the room, Loki growling. Before she could remove it, Loki was on her, grabbing the edges and using it to push Dove over, pinning her down with it, "Shut up Dove! Shut the fuck up! You're just like everyone else aren't ya!? I've asked you to do anythin else with me and I always get told no! All ya care about is what ya can get out of me! Just like those girls and I've had it! Sitting here acting like the only person in the world who hurts inside! Bitch please! I fucking love you but you won't even let me say it because it means ya have to stop getting your brains fucked out if I say it. Avoiding letting yourself feel anything cause its hard well fuck you!"

Dove reached and yanked, finally getting the shirt free of her face with a gasp, staring angrily up at Loki who was perched over her on her knees at Dove's hips, watery frustrated and furious pink orbs blazing into Dove's very soul. The aggressive tension was so thick between them you could slice it with a knife. Dove reached and gripped Loki's collar, yanking her into a furious kiss, which Loki returned hungrily, teeth bashing lips and tongues fighting as Dove's back arched up into the girl.

But soon, Dove was thrown into the sheets, a strong hand pressing her still into the bed and her eyes glazed over Loki, noticing her looking away, both panting for air, "W-what…"

Loki sighed and slipped off Dove, taking the shirt and going back to her bed, stuffing it into her duffle with a few other things and zipping it up, Dove sitting up confused, tension in her body having her a trembling aroused mess, "Loki?"

The girl wouldn't look at her as she slung the bag onto her shoulder, "I can't do this anymore Dove. It makes me feel like shit inside when it's over. I want to hold ya for real. I want the kisses and shit to mean somethin. It hurts… I can't anymore… I can tell ya won't let yourself like me back… makes me feel so vile…"

Dove stood to try to stop Loki but stopped, "Can you please not do this Loki. You're really ruining a good fucking thing here…"

Loki frowned and went to the door, "Screw you. I'm going find my parents. Have a good fucking holiday Dove."

Dove watched Loki slam the door on the way out and sat back down on her bed, hugging her knees with a frustrated breath, "Ughhh! Dammit Loki…"

She tried to message the girl but everytime she started she stopped and erased it before she would get mad and toss her scroll into her sheets. She wanted to try to fix it, not wanting to disrupt a good flow she had found in her life here, but she didn't really know what to say. She was mad at Loki for complicating what she thought was clearly just sex but she also couldn't find the words to yell about it, knowing she had long since felt this coming, could feel this coming.

Her mind had been trying to avoid it for so long knowing she couldn't deal with it herself, didn't want to deal with it. It was so much easier to just enjoy pleasure and not touch those messy things called feelings or even try to acknowledge or sort out her own, forget trying to accept or even consider Loki's. She rubbed her eyes and groaned loudly, still staring at the dark ceiling at two in the morning over this. She rolled onto her stomach and held her scroll, staring at Loki's contact in her scroll, "God Loki why did you have to do this? I can't deal with all this right now!"

She flopped the device over, pulling Mr. Feathers close and burying her face in the plush, screaming into his soft fluff before trying to get her brain to quiet long enough to get any sleep. She didn't get any good sleep and willingly accepted when Qrow offered to take her home early. He still lived with Tai and Raven was there as well for the holidays to see her niece. Dove's life was, aside from her aunts who were probably a terrible example, surrounded by single adults who didn't even really date.

It was not the most conducive environment to help her think of any good answers to her issues or even want to talk to any of them about her jumbled thoughts, thus avoiding the topic all together this time. Several times she rubbed her neck as a reflex, now becoming a habit especially when nervous, though no one seemed to think much of it. After the rest of the week ended and the few days into the break she was already supposed to be with Qrow, she waited out front for Winter, sighing, eyes closed and trying to calm her mind.

It was no clearer than before. One thing she had realized though was that she couldn't get Loki out of her head, good or bad. Sometimes she would get so irritable she would snap at the people around her and that wasn't even a little bit ok, other times she would just mope around her room which had once been Ruby's, staring at Loki's contact in her scroll and trying to think of something to say but only coming up empty each time.

At night, she would curl up with her plush and sometimes, she would be miserable thinking about how she would get through the rest of Haven. But some nights, she would just cry and grip her neck, cursing the person who clearly had been more toxic for her then she thought that had ruined her current situation for her.

She heard the screen door and turned her head, Raven sitting next to her, "Well well, the little bird is out here with much on her mind I see. Are you going to make me force you or are we going to dance around it like you do with my brother?"

Dove sighed, "I don't want to talk about it, Raven."

"Who said I was giving you a choice little girl?" the woman said, watching Dove with eyes that told Dove she wasn't going to get her way like she did with everyone else.

"I think… I was in a bad situation before that messed up my head and now I can't trust anything I feel anymore," Dove admitted, not willing to say any more.

"My brother did mention you have been asking a lot of questions about love lately. I'm going to guess you got in over your head too young and now you are paying for it?" Raven suggested.

She wasn't quite right but close enough, "Something like that. Don't tell Dad?"

The woman just nodded with a smirk, "Please… the amount of things I never tell my brother would surprise even you. I don't have good advice for you. I wasn't exactly what you would call the girl you could write home about. I was pretty toxic for Tai but I was really young and scared of a lot of things then. All I can say to you is don't be like me or your father. Don't let fear make choices for you. You're too strong for all that."

Dove glanced at her but Winter was pulling up, Raven getting up to leave the girl to her thoughts. Over the years, Raven had made strides in being a better person to get back into the lives of her family. While she would never truly apologize for anything in her past and she was still very strong willed, Dove was surprised by that. She leaned her head in, calling out to Qrow to wish him bye before he waved her off and she went with Winter.

Of course her mother tried as well to dig at her but she refused to say much, getting off the topic by saying she was just under stress and pressure at school and she was fine. While she was sure her mother probably didn't believe that, Winter backed off and left her be. Christmas passed and she enjoyed a bit of a better break with her mother, able to relax more with her mother.

The two enjoyed the snow and the general holiday treats, at a certain point they also visited Weiss, Sterling and Autumn which was always fun especially since, with the way Ruby behaved these days, she didn't have to see Jin at all. It was sad though for her to see Weiss always with such a deep sadness buried in her eyes that the woman thought she was hiding and Dove did miss Ruby a lot, hardly ever seeing her anymore. She and Sterling helped Autumn build a snowman before nightfall on her last night there, laying on Sterling's floor on the futon, "Hey Sterling?"

"Hmmm…" he mumbled, partially asleep.

"Do you think Aunt Weiss misses Aunt Ruby anymore?" she asked, voice curious and a little sad.

He grumbled and turned over, "I don't know maybe? Mother is always gone though… and Mom works a lot… who knows. She doesn't talk about it. Like I don't want to talk about it. Can we go to sleep now?"

Dove left him alone. She checked her scroll and looked at the same contact again, biting her lip. She didn't want to end up like any of these adults in her life but she didn't know really and she didn't know if she wanted to know.

She got back to Haven and walked into her dorm, dropping her duffle in surprise as her eyes locked on Loki sitting there on Loki's bed, having not expected her to be there already, "Dove… I been thinkin all break… I think we really have to talk now… don't you?"

Dove sighed and nodded, biting her lip, voice weak, "Yea… ok…"