MADDIE, DAVID and TEENS - CHAPTER 3
It's a lovely Tuesday evening in L.A. and the Addison family are out playing mini-golf and then hitting Mel's diner on Sunset Blvd. for a little din-din afterwards.
David: (Using the tiny pencil provided to keep score) Alrighty Ginny…you and I are ahead by two strokes…let's see you get the ball through the windmill on your first putt.
Gin skillfully guides her ball though the ever-rotating windmill blades and David cheers.
Maddie: (Complains to Glen) It took me three tries to get through that windmill!
Glen: It's alright mom, we'll catch up.
Glen steadies his ball before hitting it, he taps the ball with just enough force but it's knocked away by the windmill blade.
David: (Cringes) Ooooh…that hurts, doesn't it!? (aside to Gin) another point for us…we'll be up five after this hole.
They do a low-key high five as Maddie and Glen work on hitting their balls through the windmill blades and over to the other side of the green.
A few holes later…
Maddie: You got this Gleny…if you make it, we're tied with them.
David and Gin cross their arms and watch intently as Glen gets ready to putt. Just as he's about to swing David yells…
David: Hey! Isn't that Britney Spears over there!?
But there is no distracting Glen, who is used to his father's antics…his ball rolls slowly and steadily into the hole!
Maddie: Yes! Yes!
She gives her son a double high five. Glen and Maddie look at David and Gin and gloat.
Glen: Ha! You guys thought you had us!
David: Yeah? Well, it ain't over yet. The 18th hold will decide… (points his golf club) head over yonder everyone… they walk towards the giant open alligator mouth with glow in the dark teeth – the 18th hole, the hardest hole with a swamp in-between greens.
15-minutes later Maddie and Glen are all smiles after their win, as they walk towards the counter to return their clubs and balls, they engage in lively conversation about their best putts – including Maddie's hole-in-one on hole 13 over the bridge. David and Gin walk solemnly behind, David drapes his arm over Gin's shoulder.
David: We'll get 'em next time sweetie. (inspects the end of his club) I don't think the iron is straight on this one.
Gin: (downtrodden) Sure Dad.
David rubs her back encouragingly and then suddenly…
Glen: Hey Gin! I'll race you to the giant tee!
Gin hands her club to David and starts running. Glen, stands in awe, taken off guard at how fast she took off…
Glen: Hey! No fair…no one said GO!
Glen runs after Gin as fast as he can.
Maddie and David watch them disappear into the distance and slow their pace so they're walking shoulder to shoulder; lightly bumping into each other as they saunter along.
David: Think he'll catch her?
Maddie: (Shades her eyes and looks into the distance) A year ago I'd say no…but the way he's growing these days.
David shakes his head in disbelief.
David: They're pretty great.
Maddie: (puts her arm through David's) We did something right, Addison.
David: Yeah…well, I think so…they're only partially cooked…let's have this conversation again in say… (looks at his watch) six years?
Maddie: Did you ever think we'd be here all these years later…married, kids, house, car…
David: …three dogs, two cats…a bird, a lizard and a snake…
Maddie: (cringes) a snake!?
David: yeah…Gin made me buy it when we were Paul's Pets today picking up dog food. She liked the color… neon green.
Maddie: Well…keep it away from me.
David: Don't worry, Maddie…I know there's only one kinda snake you like.
Maddie: (Rolls her eyes) I knew there was a crude comment in there somewhere.
David chuckles and puts his arm around her waist, Maddie rests her head on his shoulder.
David: But to answer your question…no, I never thought we'd be here.
Maddie nods her head.
David: But I'm happy we are.
He kisses the top of her head. Then, in the distance…
Gin & Glen: Mom! Dad! Let's go…we're hungry!
An hour later at Mel's Diner…the kids argue about what to name the snake, Greenie or Slither…
David: (To Maddie) well, they didn't get much of a creativity gene from either of us, did they.
Maddie throws him a playful look and sips her milkshake, just then, the food arrives – cheeseburgers and fries all around. The table quiets down as they all dig in…everyone is starving.
David: (Chewing) Look at us Maddie, eating cheeseburgers together – who'd a thunk it.
Maddie: Oh, David, would you shut up. Every time we have a cheeseburger you bring up that stupid comment I made eons ago.
Gin: What comment, mom?
David: Your mother wanted to break up with me one time because I never took her to get a cheeseburger.
Gin: Why would you break up over that?
David: (To Maddie) Yeah…why would you break up over that, Madolyn?
Maddie: (Annoyed) stop it, David.
Glen: Why wouldn't he buy you a cheeseburger, Mom? Sounds like a cheapskate to me!
David balls up his napkin and playfully throws it at Glen.
David: Hey…who's side are you on anyway?
Glen: (Laughs) Moms, obviously.
David: It's not that I wouldn't buy her a cheeseburger…it's just that we never went out because we were always…
Maddie: (Warning) David…
David: (Slows down) busy. I mean, what I was gonna say was…she didn't think I was serious about her.
Gin: Well, were you?
David doesn't take his eyes off Maddie.
David: …as a heart attack.
Gin: Were you serious about him, mom?
Pauses. Takes a minute, wipes her mouth with a napkin, and then…
Maddie: It took me awhile to get there…but of course I was…we're here aren't we?
David: (Cackles into his burger) It took you awhile to get there?
Maddie: (Snaps) I'm serious, David…you go down this road tonight and you'll see where it gets you. You'll be on the couch for a week! It's not a time in my life I want to revisit! Now can I eat my burger in peace!?
David: (Puts both hands up) Fine.
Maddie: Fine. Now, shut up.
David: Fine.
Glen and Gin make eyes at each other and dip fries in ketchup, they know when Maddie barks like that, playtime is over. Suddenly...
Walter: I'd know that "fine" anywhere! Maddie!? David!? …Hey Addison's! (Calls) Hey Terri! Look who I found.
Maddie looks up and almost chokes on her burger. Walter!? She smiles through her coughing and David looks as if a ghost has just appeared in front of him given the subject of their last discussion. Walter reads the table.
Walter: Look at me, stepping in the middle of another Addison spat.
David: (chuckles) Yeah, well…you know us, it's foreplay.
Walter laughs, Maddie kicks David's shin under the table and Terri approaches, Walter puts his arm over her shoulder.
Walter: Terri and I haven't had an argument since I confused Clorox for laundry soap.
Terry: (Laughs) I wore clothes with splotches for a week! (looks between the pair) Arguing is so you…I'd be disappointed if we weren't interrupting one of your great rows.
Maddie: You're not interrupting anything! It's great we ran into you, I was just saying to David it's been too long.
Terry: Since these guys 13th birthday I think - (waves) Hi Gin, Hi Glen! what a surprise. Hi guys…
Gin & Glen: Hi Aunt Terri, Hi Uncle Walter.
Terry: Wow, you're both getting so big.
Gin & Glen: We know.
David gestures to his kids.
David: All personality these two. Come on, don't you have anything to say?
Gin: (Looks around) Is Emily here?
Terri: (frowns) No, she's isn't hunny, I'm sorry. (Smiles at David) Well are you just going to sit there or do I get a hug?
David: (Clears his throat, wipes his mouth and comes to life) Terri, woah…of course, I'm so happy to see you guys…I'm just surprised.
Terri: Well, we've been known to go out once a century.
David stands up and gives Terri a big hug…he puts his hand out.
David: Wally.
Walter: (Smiles) David, great to see you.
Maddie manages to swallow her food and stands up to give both Terri and Walter a big hug.
Maddie: Have you eaten yet? Where's Walt? Is Emily at school?
Terri gestures over to a group of teenage boys in football uniforms sitting at a nearby table…
Terri: He's celebrating the big win with his buddies…we're not allowed to sit with them. Emily is at her music academy in San Francisco. We were just there visiting her last weekend.
David gestures to their big booth.
David: Well…come on, please, join us.
Terri: Oh no, we wouldn't want to impose on family night.
David: Nonsense, you're family…now get in here.
Terri and Walter scooch in the booth. David hands the kids some quarters to play the jukebox at the table to keep them busy and the couples catch up. Walter Hayes Addison Knowles is 15 and the star quarterback of Hollywood High School's football team…a sport Walter Bishop knows nothing about. Terri and Walter's 14 year old daughter, Emily, is a child musical prodigy and attends an exclusive boarding school in San Francisco. Walter and Terri married six months after Walter Knowles was born and have been together ever since…Maddie and David have kept in touch with them over the years, in fact, Walter and Terri were part of their wedding party!
Later that night…
Maddie simply growls at David when he comes upstairs after dealing with all the animals and closing up the house.
David: (Sarcastic) Something wrong, Dear? You were awfully quiet in the car. Didn't even play Slug-bug with us.
Maddie: Is something wrong? Yeah, something is seriously wrong…(goes nose to nose with him) with YOU!
David: (doesn't move, contemplates) …pot…meet kettle.
Maddie: You're trying to make me look bad in front of our kids.
David: Look bad… no no no…
Maddie: (paces around the room) It's like these memories…these fleeting moments in time that happened between us are burned into your brain and they just have to come out… be turned over again and again, rehashed, retold…and all at the expense of destroying my character.
David: How have I destroyed your character? I'm not the writers?
Maddie: You know what I mean David… you bring up and highlight my worst moments whenever you get a chance. That was a different time and place… you know how confused I was back then. It was a very hurtful time, so why keep bringing it up?
David: Maddie…Maddie…Maddie… There's no ill in my intent… no no no, to the contrary, I like that story, it's part of our history. Part of the path that brought us here today.
Maddie: Yes, well, maybe I should have ventured off that path when I had the chance.
David: Oh, come on…You're not the only one…I've had my moments along the way.
Maddie: Exactly! And I don't throw them in your face during dinner with the kids.
David: (Takes her by the shoulders) I was just having a little fun…riffing off the conversation we had earlier about "did we ever think we'd get here" …that was a moment that sticks out as…you know, possibly the end of us.
Maddie: Good. Great. So, let's relive it! Hey kids! You want to hear how we almost didn't make it and it's a miracle you're here. You thought I was nuts back then David, what would the kids think?
David: Come on…the kids don't think any differently of you. They don't even know the whole story just from that one comment…Glen was even defending you.
Maddie: (looks away) I don't like it David…we were having a good time until you brought up the past..again!
David: Well, I'm sorry…I didn't mean to ruin anything. (gives her his cutest look) Forgive me?
Maddie: Do I have to? Again?
David nods his head.
David: Again.
She relents. He takes her in his arms and they kiss.
David: But how weird was it that Walter appeared two minutes after I brought up that time in our relationship?
Maddie: Really weird.
David: Oh well…life is funny. It sure was great catching up with those two kids.
Maddie: Life is funny all right.
A few months later…
In the early 90s, Maddie inherited a large sum of money from an uncle who passed, so the couple took that money and bought a cabin at Big Bear, a ski resort town two hours outside of L.A. – since then, they take any opportunity they can to escape city life with the kids and chill out in the resort town. David, an avid skier, is near expert level, Maddie's a great skier as well and they often enjoy half a day together on the slopes before Maddie heads to the lodge to sip a hot toddy and read, Glen and Gin mostly stick to snowboarding on different runs from their parents.
It's usually an Addison family escape, but this being an anniversary year, Blue Moon has sponsored an office ski trip weekend to Big Bear for the employees and their families. It's meant to be a bonding and team building experience. The Addison's arrive at the main hotel to help everyone get checked in just in time to see MacGillicudy, O'Neill and Jergenson piling out of the car with their spouses and kids.
Maddie comments as they pull into their parking space…
Maddie: What number wife is this now for MacGillicudy?
David: 3rd…
She gives David a sideways glance and judgmental look.
David: Now Maddie…remember, we're here to celebrate the staff not judge their life choices.
Maddie: (Joking) Oh, have we stopped that?
David: (Half-joking) Now, remind me…how many times have you been married, Madolyn?
Maddie: (dismissive) Once…that was annulled, remember? Once.
Gin's ears perk up in the back seat…
Gin: What's that mean, mom? You've been married before?
Maddie: No.
David: Yes.
Gin and Glen: (shocked) You have?!
Maddie: No…I have not. (deflects with a devious smile) but your father has.
Gin and Glen: (shocked) You have?!
David: (Deflects) Why are you bringing up ancient history, I thought we weren't doing that anymore, Mrs. Bishop?
Glen: Wait, Bishop?! Like Terri and Walter?
Maddie: (Ignores Glen / talks to David) I'm not bringing up anything. Why are you? Remember where that got us last time.
David peers into the backseat through the review mirror at the kids inquiring faces.
Gin: What's he bringing up? Tell us!
David: We'll save those bedtime stories for another day…
Glen: We always only get half a story…
Maddie: Yeah, well…this one will have to wait.
The kids look at each other, shrug and slip their headphones back on.
David: (refocuses) Come on, let's go greet the staff.
He takes his seatbelt off.
Glen: Why do we have to spend the weekend with the Wobblies, Dad?
Gin: Yeah, you guys are always saying we come up here to escape work people.
David: (puts up his finger) Now, these are topics worth discussing… (looks over at his wife) Miss Hayes?
Maddie: (Checking her makeup in the mirror) we have a work gathering every year.
Glen: Yeah, usually a picnic…not a whole weekend.
Maddie: It's Blue Moon's 15th anniversary so I…(looks at David and corrects) we…thought it would be nice to treat the staff to a getaway…
David: Tis true, tis true…and here we are, one big happy family…so let's make the most of it. Glen, Gin…take some of the kids under your wing…show them around the resort, teach them how to snowboard, ski, whatever they're into…
Gin & Glen: What!? Really? Noooo…
Gin: Iris and I were planning on doing our own thing this weekend, Dad.
Maddie: (Attempts to rally the troops) Come on now guys, "all for one and one for all"…isn't that our Addison family motto?
David, Gin & Glen: What? No…never heard that / I never agreed to that one…
Maddie: (Sheepish) Well, can we agree to it just for the weekend? These people have worked for us for a long time…
David: (Laughs mockingly) Worked!?
Maddie: (forges on) and I for one think they deserve a lovely weekend getaway – besides, we live a very comfortable life due to the success of Blue Moon - it's something to celebrate.
The kids look unamused.
David: (Bats his eyes quickly) then celebrate we shall…
Glen: They "work" for you, not us…why do we have to do it?
Maddie: (looks at Glen and Gin in the back seat) Alright, there's twenty bucks a day in it for each of you if you show these kids around.
Gin and Glen: (All smiles, start to nod) Sure…great…no problem, we got you mom…
David: (Stares at Maddie) So much for free enterprise.
Maddie: (Shrugs) Money is the greatest motivator in the world…isn't that what you're always telling me?
David: Touché, Dear… Touché.
The family piles out of the car and turn on their most charming personalities.
During the weekend they have a slew of team building activities:
Blue Moon Ski Trip: Schedule of Events
SATURDAY
9am: Check-in
10am: Welcome celebration, Main Lodge;
Commencement Speech, Madolyn Hayes-Addison – "Blue Moon: Fifteen Years, Wow!"
11am-3pm: Ski-fitting, lunch, free-time.
KIDS CAMP 2:30pm: Blue Moon Youngsters will join Glen and Gin Addison on a tour of the Big Bear Resort; the group will then join instructors for Ski lessons on the Bunny Slope while parents attend team-building events as follows:
3pm: Workshop in "Deer Antlers Hall";
Leader, Agnes Viola – "Writing a Rhyme a day"
4pm: Seminar in "Rabbit Tracks Room";
Leader, Jamie – "A New System for the New Millennium" – (Properly Filing Case Folders)
5pm: Instructional Activity in "White Tiger Hall";
Leader, Herbert Viola – "Stakeouts 101"
6pm-8pm: Dinner in the Main Dining Hall
KIDS CAMP 8pm: Iris, Herbert Jr., Stan, and Bob Viola, along with Gin and Glen Addison, will host a movies and game night in the "Green Mountain Hideaway" rumpus room (come dressed in pajamas and bring sleeping bag).
8pm-9pm: Lecture in "Spring Lounge"- (cocktails will be served)
Hosts: O'Neill and Simmons – "Y2K – Myths vs. Reality" (An open discussion will follow to address concerns and fears in this new age of technology)
9pm: Anniversary party in "Club Cougar" (5th floor)
Hosted by, DJ David "Boom Boom" Addison – spinning the beats 'til dawn (ends 11pm)
SUNDAY
10am – Woman's Brunch / Men's downhill ski race
11am – Informative talk in "Wild Flowers Hall (East)"
Hosted by MacGuillicudy, "Screening Cases: Which are right for Blue Moon?"
Noon: Lunch in Old Wood Saloon
2pm: Goodbye Gathering in Main Lodge
Speaker, David Addison "Blue Moon: The Year in review and Closing Remarks"
Overall, Saturday's activities are a success, aside from a few hiccups such as Bert's microphone being cut off by the resort after he became overly passionate while lecturing about appropriate stakeout etiquette (i.e. sleeping on the job and limiting liquids) and Jergunson drunkenly diving head-first into the Blue Moon Anniversary cake at the Club Cougar party…nothing that wasn't to be expected.
However, mid-morning on Sunday, Maddie and the other woman from the office are enjoying mimosa's in the lodge during the Women's Brunch when, through the big picture window, Viola can be seen running awkwardly towards them - the snowy mountain framed perfectly behind him.
Jamie: Isn't that Bert!?
All of the woman turn to look.
Chris: Yeah…it's Viola…aren't the men doing their downhill races right now? Why is he coming in here? He looks flushed…
Agnes: Oh no…that's my snuggly-muffin's panicked face…
Just then Bert bursts through the lodge doors panting, he can barely spit out the words. He looks directly at Maddie.
Bert: It's…it's Mr….Mr. Addison. He's sustained an injury!
The women gasp collectively…Maddie stiffens…
Maddie: Injured!? What do you mean, Bert… injured how?
Bert: (Rushed) He was… we had a … he was skiing rather rapidly when…
Maddie: (Patient) yes…
Bert: Well…when he hit a foreign object and …
Maddie: A foreign object? On the slopes? What kind of foreign object?
Bert: Well…you see…I, well, I didn't see the race had started because I dropped a glove, and my gloves are white, so it just disappeared into the…
Agnes: (Forcefully) Snookims! Spit it out! What happened to Mr. Addison!
Bert: (Shamefully) My ski pole was inadvertently protuberant on the run when Mr. Addison collided with said object and was projected a good 20 feet into the air. He was screaming in agony...(Bert covers his own ears) I don't think I'll ever sleep soundly again at night…that scream will haunt me until the end of days.
With those words, Maddie downs the rest of her mimosa and jumps up.
Maddie: So where is David now, Bert?
Bert: (Pointing up the mountain) the medics are with him…he may have broken his shoulder.
Maddie throws on her fur and heads for the door…
Maddie: Let's go Bert…take me to David.
All of the woman follow Bert out the door and start up the mountain when they see the "medic-mobile" heading towards them with their flashing lights on, pulling a man lying on a yellow sled behind them. His neck immobilized, his arm in a sling. They slow down as they approach the group…Maddie can hear David before she sees him.
David: This is all unnecessary…I don't need no neck brace, I am fine…it's a broken shoulder, not broken leg…I can walk, let me out of this thing.
Maddie runs to David's side.
Maddie: Addison! What happened? Are you ok?
David: I was doing just fine until Herbert there threw a monkey wrench into the race…
Bert: I heartily apologize, Mr. Addison! I…I… (Bert is more upset than anyone)
David puts up his hand…
David: Save it for the chalkboard Viola…you're gonna be writing for days.
Bert: (Stands at attention like a soldier) Whatever punishment you give me sir, I will gladly execute.
Maddie touches David's face and looks at her husband sympathetically.
Maddie: (gently) Oh David…
David: (turns to Maddie) I'm in pain, mommy…but you know what would make me feel better…
Maddie: (she slaps him on the forehead) Oh David.
David: Easy, easy, they say the libido in the frontal lobe…don't want an injury there…
Paramedic: Your husband likely has a broken shoulder, Ma'am, we'll take him over to Big Bear General. Do you want to ride in the ambulance with us?
Maddie: Oh…of course!
David: (To paramedic) Can we wait a minute while she slips on a nurses uniform she brought with her…it'll just take a minute while she runs up to the room.
Maddie slaps his forehead again and looks at the paramedic…
Maddie: Can we sedate this man?
The paramedics start maneuvering him towards the ambulance…suddenly Gin and Glen run up to the scene.
Glen & Gin: Mom! Dad! What happened?
Maddie: He took a tumble down the mountain, probably broke his shoulder…but don't worry, he's the same person he's always been…(aside) for better or worse.
Glen: I want to go to the hospital with him.
Maddie: Alright, Glen…ride in the ambulance and Gin and I will follow.
That evening, after a quick wave goodbye to the staff while Agnes delivers the end overview and speech in lieu of David, the Addison's drive away from big bear and arrive home a few hours later.
The kids start pulling all of the luggage from the car as Maddie helps a bruised, stiff and sore David into the house. His arm set securely in a sling after having broken his left collarbone in the fall.
David: I got it…I got it Maddie…you don't need to help me walk like I'm a feeble old man.
Maddie: Between the pain meds and your arm being all bound up, your balance might be off, I don't want any more tumbles.
David: Thank you, hunny…you really can be sweet sometimes, ya know?
Maddie: (Shrugs) I've been known to, have a softer side.
David: Oh, I'm very familiar with your softer side… (he pats her behind)
Maddie continues to move him slowly forward.
Maddie: Oh David…really, is there anything that would take your mind off S-E-X?
David: (Smirks) Nope.
Maddie presses quickly on his collarbone. David winces in pain.
David: Ouch! Whadda you do that for?
Maddie: To get your mind on something else.
David: Maddie…that softer side is fading away…
They climb the stairs together in unison and Maddie manages to get David up into the bedroom and props the pillows up behind his head as he lays back. David's looking a bit dejected, which softens Maddie again – she bends down to kiss him on the cheek once he's settled.
Maddie: Oh, baby. You look sad. what do you need? Are you hungry?
David: Naw, naw…I'll probably just pop a coupla those pain pills the doc gave me and get some shut-eye.
Maddie: Guess you'll be out of commission for a bit, what should we do about the ongoing cases?
Maddie doles out some pills into David's hand and puts a glass of water to his lips.
David: (swallows) Why don't you see if Rex is free?
Maddie: Yeah?
David: Yeah. Probably just be for a week or two and then I'll be back in action.
Maddie considers
Maddie: Rex, huh?
David: (Drowsy) Yeah… give him a call.
David's eyes flutter and Maddie pets his head as he falls asleep.
The next week, David is laid up at home and everyone takes turns tending to his needs, but he's quite the high maintenance patient.
Maddie's in charge of food and the first few days she tries to help him eat since, as a lefty, his dominant hand it tied up.
…the fork full of pasta approaches his mouth…
David: (winces and turns his head at the last second) Oooo, ouch, honey…that's hot! Are you trying to cause another injury?
Maddie keeps silent and blows on the food. She tries again, but he doesn't open his mouth wide enough and half the pasta falls off the fork and onto his bare chest.
David: (Loud with a mouthful) Babe…that's HOT!
He shoots Maddie green daggers as she tries to mop of the mess.
Maddie: David! Open your mouth!
David: I tried. You had too much on there.
Maddie: (Purses her lips and maintains patients) Here…let's try again with smaller bites.
Her capable husband had been reduced to a man-baby.
Glen is in charge of helping him up and down the stairs…He guides his dad down the stairs by tucking himself under his good arm.
David: Easy…easy, not so fast Gleny…
Glen: Come on Dad, one step at a time.
David: Slower son, if I fall, you're not going to be able to catch me.
Glen: I'm right here, Dad…I got you…
They reach the bottom of the stairs…
David: (thinks) Wait…where's my? Damn. (turns around and points up) Alright…I forgot my robe and slippers…help me back up.
Glen turns to run back up the stairs.
Glen: I'll go get them!
David: Nope…no…they're in the laundry, which needs to be switched over…your mother told me this morning and I forgot to do it, come on…up…up!
Glen sighs and helps him back up the stairs and down again…
Gin tends to the animals while David directs her from the top of the stairs.
David: (Yelling down) Gin, now listen, because if this gets mixed up we'll have a real diarrhea problem around here. Angel gets the wet food from the pink can…Ralphy gets the dry food from the blue bag, Blue gets the diet food in the red can…
Gin: I thought Blue got the food from the green bag.
David: No, the green bag is the food that made him fat. Give him the red can.
Gin: (Calls) Ok! I got it Dad! Angel, pink…Ralph, blue…Blue, red…
Maddie plugs her ears.
Maddie: Ugg, I feel like I'm in an episode of Sesame Street?
David: (Calls) Does Sherlock have seeds?
Gin: What!?
David: (louder) Does the bird have bird seed?
Gin: I'll look after I'm done feeding the dogs.
David: Stooge gets chicken bones from dinner…make sure he keeps them outside.
Gin: (Yells) O-KAYyyyyyyyy
David: Gin? Hey Gin!
Maddie: David!
David: Hunny?
Maddie: STOP YELLING!
David: Yelling? Who's yelling? I'm just making sure these animals get fed!
Maddie: (Covers her ears) Ugg…this house is a zoo! I can't take it.
David: Gin!? What about the fish…do we have a rat for the snake…
Maddie slams the door on her way out into the back yard for some peace and quiet.
Aside from all the chaos one broken bone has caused the family, they provide as much TLC as they can for their dad and hubby, spending time with him, playing games so he's not too bored, and on the weekend - animals and all, pile into Maddie and David's bed at night to watch movies, toss popcorn into each other's mouths and laugh about an action movie star they think looks just like David. From Maddie's POV, this is the only happy moment of the week.
Meanwhile, at Blue Moon Maddie works their cases with Detective Rex Stern – a tall, could be Calvin-Klein-model-turned-detective, who David met at a ballistics training course back East a few years ago…when he made his way out to L.A., he asked if Blue Moon had an overflow case work for him. Rex worked quickly…diligently and also quite cheaply…a win all around. He'd actually solved a case involving a severed head found in a field, which put Blue Moon on the front pages of the paper a few months ago, so they looked for any opportunity to throw him some extra work. Rex is experienced Private Dick and an impeccable dresser, (which Maddie loves) and he's got a wicked since of humor (which David loves). Rex jumps at the chance to work with Maddie on their ongoing cases while David is laid up. They drive in the car after visiting a client.
Maddie: …evil twin…wicked stepmother…isn't this the stuff fair-tales are made of?
Rex: Do you think she's telling the truth?
Maddie: Why, what are you picking up on?
Rex: She had a tell…she looked to the left every time she talked about her twin, and to the right every time she mentioned her step-mother.
Maddie: Maybe she needs her eyes checked?
Rex: No…see? We learned in that body language class I took a few months ago that anytime someone shifts their eyes to the left when telling a story, they're lying.
Maddie: Ah-ha… you think she's trying to frame her sister for a crime she really committed herself?
Rex: No. Even worse.
Maddie: Worse?
Rex: Did you take a look around?
Maddie: No…I …I was too busy taking notes…
Rex: Well, I did…the walls were covered of pictures of her…alone.
Maddie: (Maddie shifts her eyes to the right) Some people are so self-centered.
Rex: Which begs the question…
Maddie: Does she really have a twin…?
Rex: Does she even have a sister.
Maddie: I think we need to take a look at Ms. Showey's birth certificate.
Rex: Right you are partner.
Maddie accelerates the BMW…
Rex: Wait, wait…where are you going?
Maddie: Over to the county courts to get a copy…
Rex: But aren't you forgetting something?
Maddie: Forgetting?
Rex: Lunch?
Maddie: Lunch!
Rex: Have you ever had the Chopped salad at The Ivy?
Maddie: The Ivy? I love the Ivy…I love that salad.
Rex: Me too…let's go have a little lunch at the Ivy, my treat…and we'll, uh, pick up that birth certificate on the way back to the office.
Maddie: (Smiles) Oh Rex… I love this, David always steers us toward chili-dogs.
Rex scrunches his face in disgust and motions for Maddie to make the first left at the light.
At lunch Maddie and Rex talk endlessly about theater, travel, art and fashion…Maddie's in heaven. She loves David, but why couldn't he a bit more sophisticated and less gouache…like Rex! After a wonderful lunch of Chopped Salads, gourmet cheese crisps and a glasses of buttery chardonnay, it was time to head over to the county courts before calling it a day. Rex pulls out Maddie's chair as she stands up and puts her bag in her hand all at the same time.
Rex: I love a taupe clutch…and always perfectly matched with your classic heels…don't think I didn't notice.
He winks at her with a slight flirt…Maddie feels a little woozy, was it the wine or Rex?
Maddie: Well, I love a man who catches the details – a wonderful quality in our line of work. How do you know so much about fashion?
Rex: I worked retail in Paris for years.
Maddie: (Beams) I love Paris!
Maddie was becoming smitten with her substitute partner… how nice to spend time with a man who really understood women.
Later that night Maddie paces back in forth in front of their king bed where David is still laid up with his injury and excitedly tells him about her day with Rex.
David: Ho…ho … ho… what gives? Chardonnay? At lunch!? You never let me drink on the job.
Maddie: (forges on not really hearing David) …and when we finally got the birth certificate, sure enough, it was a single birth…no twin sister as Rex suspected.
David: Sounds like it's time for a stakeout.
Maddie: I dropped Rex off Merv's AV Rentals – he's picking up the van and watching one Ms. Showey for the next 24hrs.
David: You gonna do the stake out with him?
Maddie: (Shifts her eyes to the left) No, I want to be here… with you…
David: Ha! Liar.
Maddie: What!? You need me right now, David.
David: (Shifts his eyes to the left) Don't do me any favors.
They hear the kids arguing downstairs.
Maddie: I like Rex, but any excuse not to do a stake out.
David chuckles. They smile and smolder at each other a bit and then hear a high pitched squeal downstairs.
Maddie: See? I am needed around here.
She heads toward the door to go find out what the kids are screaming about when…
David: Hey blondie!
She turns and looks at him.
David: I need you.
Maddie: Yeah…and don't you forget it.
A week later, Maddie, David and Rex stand to the side at a press conference where police answer questions about the woman, Ms. Showey, who killed her look-a-like best friend after becoming obsessed with her…Ms. Showey got so delusional that she actually believed they were born Siamese twins who were separated at birth… they took her away in a straightjacket.
David: Nice work you two. We've had some crazy cases, but this just might take the cake.
He puts his hand out to Rex.
David: Another job well done.
Rex: Thanks, Addison…but I have to give most the credit to Maddie, she's the one who noticed the resemblance between Ms. Showey and her best friend and put the pieces together.
Maddie blushes, blinks her eyes down and looks back up to look at Rex.
Maddie: Ahhh, That means a lot Rex, thank you. You're a wonderful detective and it's been a pleasure working with you.
David: Unfortunately, this is where the pleasure ends… cause I'm back on the case…well, the next case that is.
Rex: (Gestures to his shoulder) You all healed up?
David puts his arm around Maddie's waist.
David: Well on my way, thanks to the good care of my nursemaid here, yeah.
Maddie: (Nudges him) I just wish you were a better patient.
David: Don't worry, I'll make it up to you as soon as I can put some weight on this thing (he taps his shoulder) – but then again "woman on top" is increasingly becoming a comfortable position for you, isn't it Maddie?
Maddie throws him blue daggers – boy she'd punch him if Rex weren't standing right there.
Rex: (Smiles, but deflects to end Maddie's embarrassment) you're quite a woman, Maddie…solving cases while caring for your family. We should all be so lucky. I say you're certainly at the top of your game.
Maddie smiles and sighs wishing again David could be a little more refined. They say their goodbyes to Rex and head back to the office to meet with a client.
A few days later, the Addison family lazes around on the weekend after a crazy few weeks…but the twins are restless.
David: You kids want money to go out tonight, there is work to be done around here. You know the rules. $5 for every hour you put in.
He hands the kids a broom, dustbin and a big trash bag.
David: That garage is overflowing with stuff from your childhood that you won't let your mother and I throw away – now get out there and get rid of some of that stuff. You're teenagers now…you don't need plushie toys and little figurines.
Gin & Glen: But Dad – you have plushie toys and little figurines!
David: Those are collectables! Now…GET!
The twins begrudgingly head out into the tepid garage to go through some of their old boxes of clothes, books and toys. At first they just lounge around riding inch-worms and big wheels, playing with some of the toys and reading Dr. Seuss…but they soon realize that most the stuff really are baby things and start to pack some of them up. After a while…Glen climbs up on a ladder and hands down some of the higher boxes one at a time to Gin. He climbs down and they start to go through them…Gin opens one of the boxes and finds a veil, a bowtie and a manila envelope with the words "Vegas Wedding" written on it. Gin and Glen look at the envelope and then look at each other.
Glen: Vegas wedding? Mom and Dad got married in Chicago.
Gin: That's mom handwriting…should we open it?
Glen looks towards the door that leads into the house…all quiet.
Glen: Well…why not? It doesn't say it's private or anything.
Gin shrugs and unwinds the string on the back of the envelope. She pulls out a packet of photos, a marriage certificate and a couple of other papers. The twins feel kinda weird about it, but they can't help but open the pack of photos, they pull them out – and flip through them.
Gin: …Mom on a train…
Glen: Mom smiling at dinner…
Gin: Mom and Uncle Walter sitting at a slot machine.
Glen: …Mom and Uncle Walter outside the (reads) "The Little White Chapel"
Gin: Mom and Uncle Walter standing in front of Elvis… are they… getting married? And…is she pregnant?
She looks for clues on the package.
Gin: When was this!?
Glen grabs the photos and looks hard at them.
Glen: This has to be a joke. Halloween?
Gin: No, this says, "02 / '88" – February, 1988… so, not Halloween. She was pregnant with us!
Glen: These can't be real. Mom wasn't married to Walter…he's not our dad…is he?
Gin: Wait…how do Mom and Dad know Terri and Walter?
Glen: Old friends?
Gin: Didn't Terri say one time that Dad was a great Lamaze partner for her when she had Walt?
Glen: I dunno. What's "Lamaze"?
Gin: Something women do to prepare for birth, dummy. But why would Dad help Terri?
Gin grabs the box and stack of pictures and papers and starts to run towards the door.
Glen: Wait! Where are you going?
Gin: To get answers!
Glen: Mom's gonna be mad we went through her stuff!
Gin: I don't care! We need to know if we're Walter's kids and if dad is Walt's dad!
Glen: What?
Gin: Just come on!
Glen follows his sister and they run around the house looking for their parents.
Glen & Gin: Mom! Dad!... Dad! Mom!
Glen: Dad!? If you really are our dad…
Maddie: (Calls down from upstairs): Hey guys!? Where's the fire? We're up here.
The kids bound up the stairs two steps at a time…barge into Maddie and David's room where Maddie was busy cleaning out her closet while David read Ann Landers out loud, and dump the contents of the folder onto their bed.
Gin: Explain this!
Maddie and David look at the veil, bowtie and labeled manila folder and then look at each other.
Maddie & David: Ohhhhh.
Glen: Dad…are you our dad?
Maddie: (Shocked) Of course he's your Dad! What are you talking about?
Gin: Are you Walt's Dad?
David: (Amused) Walt?
Gin: There's pictures of Mom pregnant with us and she's marrying Walter Bishop! (Looks at Maddie) So, why are you with Walter when you're pregnant with us!?
Maddie and David look at each other and back at the kids…
Maddie & David: Ohhhhhhh.
Gin: Stop saying "oh" and give us some answers. Who is our dad!?
Maddie: Gin, stop it. Your dad is your dad.
Dad: (chuckles) Yeah…kids…have you looked in a mirror lately?
Glen: Then who is Walt's dad?
David: (chuckles again) You've met his Dad, remember? Jimmy Knowles…he was at Walt's bar mitzvahs.
Glen: Oh…yeah. Well, then…why is mom with Uncle Walter in this picture getting married to him. Was this a joke?
David looks at Maddie and gestures to the kids.
David: Well…Maddie, do you want to do the honors? I think they're ready to learn that their parents have a past.
Maddie: (turning red) Wellll…
Maddie doesn't want to speak for fear that she will look bad in front of her kids – how would they ever understand why she married a man (Walter)…while pregnant with another man's baby (David)…after being told it was someone else's child (Sam). No…she can't…she won't! Maddie suddenly feels like she can't breathe…so she quickly leaves the room as the twins watch her in bewilderment.
David: Welll… um, alright. You see kids…there is a story to be told there. And it's your mother's story to tell…or we should at least tell it together, so give us a little time, huh? Let me go talk to her.
David leaves the room and finds Maddie in the back yard sobbing. He approaches her from behind and wraps his arms gently around her.
David: Hey…hey…this was a long time ago. What's got you so upset?
The pair sit on a loveseat swing in the backyard and Maddie cries out all of her fears about the kids thinking she's a terrible person, with a terrible past, who made terrible decisions. David smooths her hair back as she speaks.
David: Those kids adore you…they're not gonna view you in any type of way. Maybe they'll just understand their mom a little bit better…is that such a bad thing?
Maddie: I don't think this is the right time…
It took a little convincing, but Maddie soon agreed that the cat was out of the bag and the kids deserved some answers. But they agreed David would tell the kids about his past marriage too…get everything out in the open. They head inside and call Glen and Gin to the living room.
Maddie tells her story…
Maddie: ….and after we started doing Lamaze together, your dad came with me to the next appointment and we realized we had a little bonus baby in there…which was you, Gin – and once the doctor reconfigured the sonograms and calendars, we knew without a doubt that Dad was your Dad…
David: So…we got Married, and the rest is Kismet!
Glen: Wow, that's the best mystery you ever solved, huh Mom? Whether we had an Astronaut Dad, a Train Dad or Dad Dad.
They all start laughing.
Gin goes to Maddie who's been crying on and off throughout the story and puts her arms around her.
Gin: I'm sorry you felt so scared and confused Mom…I wish I was there to give you a hug.
Maddie's eyes fill with tears…it's the sweetest thing she's ever heard.
Maddie: Well…you were in a way Ginny…because of you guys, I didn't feel so alone…
David: Yeah, and it's because of you kids that we got back together.
Maddie gestures for David to tell the kids about his past…
A few minutes later Glen and Gin are patting David's back and giving him kisses over the loss of his first child and marriage to Tess. Incidentally, David left the ending as Tess cheated on him with "some guy she met at acting class…" and Maddie still never let on she knew the truth.
Afterall…the kids had a new understanding of their parents and Maddie and David agreed that opening up to them brought the family closer.
A few nights later the Addison's are once again at Mel's Diner with Terri and Walter after having just watched Walt Knowles play in the final football game against their Pasadena rivals and they won! The whole team and fans have filled up the diner and it's a very lively affair. Suddenly…
Rex: Maddie? David?
They just barely hear Rex calling their names over the raucous chatter happening at the table, but when they look up, Rex and another man, who is just as handsome as Rex, are smiling down at them. Rex puts his arm over the man's shoulder…
David: Hey! Rex…great to see you!
He pops up out of his seat to shake his hand.
David: Hey Lance! Nice to see you buddy. (David shakes Lance's hand)
Maddie is overjoyed to see Rex…but who was this handsome guy with him…a man David seems to know? Rex catches her eye…
Rex: (gestures) Maddie, this is my partner, Lance.
Maddie: Your part…Oh…your Partner!
The first thing that comes to mind is business partner…a fellow detective, but then it dawns on Maddie that Lance is Rex's life partner and everything suddenly makes sense. Maddie smiles and jumps up to greet Lance with a hug.
Maddie: So nice to meet you!
The guys explain that they just came back from the Opera.
Maddie: The Opera? So what brings you here? I know you have a more refined palate than this place, Rex.
Rex: Yeah…well, you know…sometimes you just need a good cheeseburger.
David: A cheeseburger is the foundation of any good relationship…
David catches Maddie's eye, smiles and winks at her as he ushers Rex and Lance into their booth…insisting that they join them.
Later that night on the drive home…the kids half asleep in the back.
Maddie: Hey…how did you know Lance's partner…you never told me he was gay?
David: Nah. I let you live in your little fantasy that, unlike me, Rex was the perfectly evolved man, the ever so sophisticated partner you didn't have…you shameless flirt.
Maddie: (with a sly smile on her face) A harmless flirt…but it was fun. (Thinks) Now it makes total sense why he never put the moves on me.
David laughs.
David: Uh-huh.
Maddie: How did you know he was gay…
David: I ask people about themselves, Maddie.
Maddie laughs.
Maddie: Sure.
David: I do…I'm very personable.
Maddie throws him a look.
David: (Shrugs) We were on a job one day and ran into Lance…he introduced me and I knew a little more about the guy. End of story.
Maddie: and you never thought to mention it?
Bruce: What's to mention? Anyone who's lucky enough to find someone who's the ying to their yang, I can only be happy for.
Maddie smiles at him.
Maddie: Like us?
David: Just like us.
Maddie glances at the kids in the back through the rearview and smiles…she accelerates towards home.
Listening to "Moonlighting the Podcast" wherever you get your podcasts!
TO BE CONTINUED…