While he would never admit it out loud, Raphael couldn't help but agree with Mikey. They really did have bad luck when it came to going underground. Which, as the youngest had also once said, was ironic considering they lived in the sewers beneath New York.

Broad shoulders quivered in a brief shudder as the tunneled walls, echoing with the voices of his brothers, brought a dizzying sense of Déjà vu crashing through the turtle. It both felt like an eternity ago, and merely only yesterday, since they'd begun the dizzying journey in the cave way back in Japan. So much had changed, specially for the better although there was some for the worst, both within their leader and the team itself. Shell, their whole family dynamic had shifted since then. Even their father had grown as they weathered the many lessons learned since that fateful trip. However, Raph wouldn't change a thing, because he much preferred the turtles they were now as opposed to the traumatized and secretive bunch they were a year and a half ago. The crimson turtle released breath. Had it really been that long? The last time they were wondering down a foreboding tunnel felt like a fevered nightmare, more dream than reality. Raph wasn't sure he wanted to repeat the experience all over again.

Mask tails flew as the brawler shook sense back into himself. Whether he wanted to be or not, here they were yet again, but this time it wasn't Leo being tested, it was them. They needed to stay on their toes if the brothers wanted to survive like they did before.

"Anyone else feeling like we never left the cave in Japan?" Mikey's voice whispered in the dark.

Leo snorted, empathy shining dimly in sapphire eyes, "Yeah," He nodded, "I was just thinking about how crazy it is that we're right back where we started."

"But this time it's us having to prove ourselves," Donnie gulped.

"You'll do great," their leader asserted, calm confidence (so different from the raw panic and emotion brought on by their first spelunking trip) resonating in his rich tones, a green hand raising to clasp the genius on the shoulder in a comforting grip, "besides, we survived as a team the first time, and we'll survive as a team this time. Being tested doesn't mean we have to tackle this alone."

"Good ol' Fearless," Raphael grinned, slinging an arm around Leo's neck to give his head a fond noogie, "at least we don't gotta worry about ya losin' yer cool this time around. Once was enough, believe me."

"Ugh," the azure ninja groaned, not fighting his younger brother's hold, "don't remind me. Being so out of control was mortifying."

"Not to mention scary," Donatello grumbled, features quickly blanching as he realized how harsh his tone sounded, hands raising as he backpedaled, "not that it was your fault aniki!" He reassured in a panicked tone, "However, I don't think I'm alone in saying that seeing my leader going through…that, was not a pleasant experience."

The scientist paused, throat working as he gave a heavy swallow, then approached Leo to grip the eldest's wrist wrap, fingers subtly feeling the now healthy pulse beating under the leather strips, "I'm just grateful that the Duchess healed your heart," Donnie finally rasped quietly, "I've never felt so helpless as I did when yours gave out during Mikey's trial."

Leonardo shifted his hand around to wrap his calloused fingers around the purple ninja's hand, squeezing it tight, "I understand, Don," he whispered, "more than you know."

"Don's got a point," Raph sighed, lifting his arms above his head in a casual stretch to emphasize his relief, "it's nice not ta have that hangin' over our heads anymore. No more countin' pills or worryin' about Leo's heart givin' out from usin' his fancy new powers."

The eldest barked out a laugh, his own relief palpable in the action, "As soon as we get home," he announced, "I'm flushing every single one of those pills down the toilet."

"You most certainly will not!" Donatello balked, offended chocolate brown eyes whirling on their leader, "We can't waste medicine like that! Who knows when we may need it!"

"We don't need ta be so paranoid about hoardin' medicine anymore, Donnie," Raph smirked, "We got Gramps now, and ya know he won't let a single one of us down if we ever get ta the point we need medicine."

"Speaking of Grandpa Lowrey," Mikey cut in, "when do we tell him about Leo becoming world walker and us moving here? I don't know about you guys, but I'm gonna miss him and I hate that we gotta say goodbye already."

Leo and Raphael sagged, both unsure how to answer, but it was Donatello that brightened up, face wreathed in a smile, "Who says we have to say goodbye?" He asked excitedly, grinning in the way he did when he'd gotten a really good idea, "Grandpa Lowrey has been talking about retiring at the end of the year, but he doesn't know what to do because he doesn't want to leave New York where his friends are."

"So?" Raph asked, not quite catching on.

Mikey had no such problems, "Oh!" The youngest exclaimed, baby blue eyes glittering, "We can ask him if he wants to retire here with us!"

Donnie nodded happily, "I mean, why not? There's plenty of space! And he'd get to meet a whole bunch of mythological creatures. Something we all know he'd enjoy! Plus, he'd get to relax in his retirement in style and keep father company! That way he won't be alone, and we can still keep our new grandpa."

Sapphire and topaz eyes blinked before the two oldest burst into guffaws, Leo waving his hands in an effort to visually calm the younger sibling's enthusiasm down, "Alright, alright," he chuckled, "we can ask him, but don't get ahead of yourself Don, he may not want to make such a drastic change."

"Yeah," Raph nodded, amusement glinting in his liquid gold gaze, "as much as I'd like ta have him around, he might prefer ta stay in New York."

"It's not like he'll be far, though," Donnie shrugged, "with Leo's ability to create interdimensional portals, at least once he learns how, we'll literally be able to just step into New York anytime we want. We can still do our nightly patrols and be on hand for Casey and April. So, in theory, Grandpa Lowrey won't be far away from the city if he wants to visit."

"But wouldn't that same logic apply if he chose to stay?" Leo asked wisely, cocking his head impishly at the purple ninja, "he doesn't have to come with us, Don, we'll still be able to visit."

"True," Donatello nodded, "but I'd still prefer having him close by. He doesn't have anyone now that his wife and son are gone. I'd hate to think of him spending his retirement in that big old house with only Radar for company. He'd have a much better life here with us."

Leonardo sighed, seeing he wouldn't win this argument, "How about we save this for another day?" He suggested with a fond smile, "I'll talk to father about it, and get his input. If he thinks it's worth asking, we can talk to Anthony?"

The scientist hesitated, but then accepted the olive branch with a nod, "Fine," he groaned theatrically, "I accept your conditions."

"Good because I think we've arrived," Michelangelo's voice was soft with awe, and tinged with discomfort, "and I'm getting a serious case of Déjà vu here, dudes."

An imposing door made of black obsidian stood before them, making the brothers gaped in shock as it looked exactly the same as the doors in the caves, "Somethin' tells me there's a lot more that the Ancient One knows than I think he's tellin' us." Raph mumbled, his shoulders tense at the similarities.

"I can't help but agree," the leader murmured, calloused fingers reaching out to brush the door, stroking its glassy surface, "I get the feeling that everything has been connected, from even before the tribunal. Like the ghosts said, we all have a destiny. Maybe it's all been leading to this moment? The four of us, here, together."

Raphael gave a derisive snort, "Destiny, fate," he huffed, giving a healthy roll of his eyes, "I'd rather not believe in that, personally. Just more people tryin' ta tell us what ta do, and ya know how much I like followin' orders."

Leo snickered, giving his younger brother a laughing side eye, "Especially mine." He remarked drily.

The brawler shrugged, not denying the charge, "I'm just sayin'," he continued, "was it fate that got us through those caves the first time? Or gave ya the strength ta come home? Or helped us beat Shred head all those years? Nah, it was our own guts and determination ta never say die! So, even if it is our destiny ta be world walkers, or whatever, it wasn't fate that got us here. It was us, plain and simple.

"So, this place can throw what it wants at us," Raph finished with a determined snarl, voice rising as unshakable confidence flowed through the sturdy frame, "and fate can continue ta laugh at us for all I care, because as long as I got my brothers, I'm unbeatable! And that's a fact!"

Pride, with hefty amounts of fond devotion, shone in the gazes of blue, purple and orange as Raph's bellowing war cry echoed down the tunnel. Pride at his strength, pride for his resilience and pride that they got to call him brother. It was true, as long as they stuck together, they were invincible. Not a single one of them was replaceable, not in this team, not in this family, and they would gladly spend the rest of their lives living out the conviction that there wasn't a force in the universe capable of tearing them apart.

"Aw, it really is like last time," Mikey sniffled, wiping an imaginary tear from his eye, "Raphie starting us off with a heartfelt speech and everything!"

Topaz eyes rolled as Raphael gave a tolerant groan, "Seriously?" He growled, "Ya just ruined the moment, Mikey."

"I didn't ruin it," the youngest squawked indignantly, "I enhanced it, due to my charming singular skillset."

"Singular, being the operative word," Donnie guffawed, "heaven knows there can only be one Mikey." The scientist paused, casting a playful glance at his siblings, "In this dimension, anyway." He amended.

Raph blanched at the reminder, "I hope we never meet another," he grumbled, stomping towards the door, rolling his shoulders in preparation to push it open, "because those bozos were enough ta last me a lifetime."

Gruff hands slapped the front of the obsidian double doors, and with a strained grunt, the brawler proceeded to heave, not noticing his brothers gasping in surprise when the familiar green lettering appeared, but this time only carving out Raphael's name on the lintel.

"What, no cryptic rhyme?" Donnie asked.

As if on cue, jade green luminescent words were carved into the stone of the door, causing Raphael to jump back with a startled shout, "What the shell?!"

"Here we go," Leonardo sighed, then stepped forward to read the rhyme.

"Lives hang in the balance by a fraying thread," the leader intoned, voice low, "mercy is yours should you instead, choose to conquer your deadly foe, on a familiar battleground bathed in woe. For Raphael to succeed in this grim endeavor, his character first we must measure."

"Lives hang in the balance?" Mikey groaned, rolling his eyes as his shoulders gave a resigned slump, "Sounds cheery."

"Yeah, but Raph can save us by passing the test," Donnie nodded, hands nervously wringing his Bo staff, "so we'll be just fine."

"Precisely," Raph grunted, resuming his position of pushing the doors open, "so, let's stop freakin' out about it and just get it over with."

"I'm suddenly regretting going along with this," Mikey whimpered.

Leo winced, "It can't be that bad, can it?" He asked, giving the youngest brother a brief squeeze on the shoulder, "I'm sure whatever is behind that door, we can handle."

"Exactly, so stop freaking out, Mikey," Donnie huffed, "you're psyching yourself out and we haven't even started yet. Kinuye and Merrick wouldn't have sent us down here if they didn't think we could handle it. What's so bad about a few tests?"

Michelangelo moaned, "A few tests? Didn't you hear Merrick? We're only going to be facing down our worst fear," the youngest wailed, "nothing to be too concerned about, yet. Unless you consider just who's fear we're going to be seeing behind that door, that turtle being Raphie, and then consider the fact that he's probably one of the bravest-"

"Bravest or most insane?" Donnie muttered under his breath.

"-of the four of us…which actually makes me more than a little concerned, now that I think about it." The youngest groaned, clutching his head with both hands and rubbing it vigorously in frightened aggravation, "I'm just saying I'm not looking forward to facing off against whatever it is that scares the one and only, Raphael!"

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Mike," the brawler grunted, sparing Mikey a fond smirk, "ya make me sound like a real hardcore dude."

"Just stating facts, bro." Came the unrepentant shrug.

A moment of silence as Don acknowledged the truth in that statement before giving a shrug accompanying a bashful smile, "Maybe we'll get lucky, and we'll only have to fight a giant cockroach?" Donnie suggested hopefully.

Raph gave a shudder, "Ew, please, no."

"Or maybe we'll have to suffer through something much scarier," Mikey whimpered, "I mean, seriously, dude! What can possibly scare Raphael?!"

"Plenty of things, Mikey," Raph mumbled, remembering the nightmares he'd suffered since being possessed by the Shredder, "trust me."

"What indeed?" Their leader murmured, sapphire eyes glancing at the crimson ninja in a rueful silence "I guess we're going to find out one way or another," Leo eventually grimaced, "but I'm sure we'll be fine. Like Raph said, we've come this far as a team, we'll make it out of this as a team, too."

"I like your optimism, bro," Mike nodded approvingly, "keep it up."

With one more groan of effort, the brawler succeeded in pushing the stone doors open, only to jerk back with a startled gasp. Green smoke engulfed the brothers, wrapping them in a claustrophobic cocoon of mist, dragging them through the door. Raphael fought against the insistent tugging, arms flailing even as he frantically searched his hip, scrabbling along his belt for his sai, only to find them horrifyingly missing.

"Welcome, Raphael," a rumbling voice slithered through the fog, its tones sickeningly familiar, "so good to see you again."

"…No…" the brawler gasped, heart dropping to his stomach even as the mist parted to reveal his testing ground.

A vast room, dark and dank, dimly lit by ghostly lanterns illuminating what looked like a medieval torture chamber. Just like the one the Shredder imagined in Raph's mind during those five minutes he was under their enemy's control. Harsh trembling stole over the broad shoulders, even as the crimson ninja felt his breath begin to speed up. A whimper whispered up the tense throat, but Raphael silenced it with a growl, voicing his discomfort in a way he was more familiar with, like a pitbull facing down an intruder. That thought caused a thread of amusement to flit through his mind. Mikey had once likened Raph to a pitbull, saying that he was big and scary on the outside, but a softie once he was comfortable at home. The brawler wasn't overly fond of the comparison, but he couldn't deny the nugget of truth it held. Nevertheless, the amusement was short lived when faced with the embodiment of his nightmares. Even now his mind was a tumultuous whirl of thoughts and feelings, a deafening clamor that shrieked he turn tail and run.

"Well, this is concerning."

The youngest's dry voice cut through the panicked fog afflicting Raphael's brain, bringing his attention to, as Mikey had very succinctly stated, a very concerning view. His brothers, Leonardo, Donnie and Mike, were strapped to a long wooden table, unable to even wiggle beneath the unrelenting leather cords binding them, fastening them down to the splintered surface, but that was nothing to what hung above them. A large, bladed pendulum, like the ones seen in old movies or classic cartoons, swung overhead, its keen edge humming through the air with every pass. It didn't appear to be dropping, but going by the mechanism holding it up, Raph was certain it would eventually.

"You have good reason to be concerned," that familiar voice cackled, making topaz eyes widen in horror as they took in the hulking mass of armor speaking to them, "as your lives depend on his ability to pass the test."

"No," Raphael shook his head slowly, what courage he'd garnered from his speech slipping away like sand in an hourglass, "not him…Please, not him…!"

"Raph, Raphie, look at me!" Leonardo's harsh tone, authoritative and commanding, cut the air like their leader's beloved katana, "he's an illusion! Remember my first test in the caves? It's just like that. You have control here!"

The crimson turtle clenched his eyes shut, unable to meet the concerned gaze of his big brother. Memories filled with screams and pain, strapped to a wooden table like the ones his brothers lay on as the Shredder broke his bones one by one, tearing his shell off in bloody chunks, all the while cackling about how powerless he was to fight back, crept into his thoughts. It didn't matter that the torture he'd suffered at Saki's hands was literally in his mind, it felt all too real at the time. Like a poisonous fog, the flashback infected him, making the mighty frame tremble, even as Raphael released bellowing snarls at the specter. He refused to acknowledge how his knees wobbled, or the sudden outbreak of sweat gathering in the palms of his hands, beading across his brow, making him shiver. However, his body didn't seem to get the message as the panic induced response to the room and his enemy sent him into a dizzying spiral.

"Raphael!" Leo called, "The only power this thing has is the power you give it! Don't allow it that kind of control! Come on, bro, you can do this!"

The specter cackled, the familiar laugh making the brawler's scales crawl, "He can't," he spat, smug satisfaction evident in the echoing tone, "he couldn't fight back to protect himself when I held him captive in his mind, and he's still just as powerless now!"

"Shut your pie hole!" Mikey growled, straining to look up at their enemy from where he lay strapped, "Raphie ain't scared of a punk like you!"

"Yeah," Donatello threw in, an angry pout decorating his beak, "he's stronger than that!"

"A lot stronger!" The youngest echoed.

"He's taken down a lot scarier than you, you…you…neophyte!" The scientist finished with a huff.

"Oooh, nice word usage!" Mikey applauded, metaphorically of course, his hands were still strapped down, "If I could move, I'd totes give you a high five, dude!"

Donnie shrugged, "I'm just saying," he sniffed, "the skin walker was much scarier than Shredder, and this isn't even the real Shredder. It's just a clone, like how we were with Leo."

The voices of his siblings rung in his ears, and Raph was struck with a bolt of clarity at the fear he felt as well as the fact that he was trembling from an illusion. Self loathing at his own weakness burned like acid down the back of his throat, igniting a fire in his gut. Donnie was right, this wasn't Shredder, and this wasn't like his nightmares. He was stronger now. Even an illusion of the Shredder didn't deserve the right to see him crumble into a trembling mess. No. He would not be taken down here in front of his brothers, he would not be reduced to this!

With a vicious shake, the brawler pinned the clone with his most fearsome glare, "You're not him!" Raphael bit out in a quiet snarl, "We kicked his slimy soul back ta the afterlife. You're not Shredder!"

"Atta boy, Raphie!" Michelangelo cheered.

"You got this!" Leo concurred.

The hulking figure of their enemy gave a quiet chuckle, "Maybe not," he acquiesced, "but I still represent the lowest moment of your life. The moment your temper, yet again, put your family in danger and led to your leader being broken."

The brawler howled in anger, charging forward to slash at the specter only to find his weapon passing through like grey smoke, "Shut up, ya dirtbag!" He snarled, "Ya don't know a thing about that night!"

"I know that if it hadn't had been for your weakness Leonardo would never have been tortured by your enemy and driven to leaving for all those months." The clone purred smugly, "It's all your fault, admit it."

Raphael's sai flew through the air, whirling in a deadly dance, but still dealing no damage, "Shut up!" He shrieked.

"Pitiful, predictable Raphael," the Shredder cackled, red eyes watching as the steel swung through him over and over, "a fiery temper covering a multitude of sins, each one proving your ineptitude. Face it, freak, you'll eventually be the weak link that brings your whole family down!"

"No!" Leo's voice rang out like a bell, a snarl lacing through the undertones, "It's not his fault! I was the weak link, not him! You stop lying to him!"

"You're not the one who charges headlong into danger, disregarding what consequences it may hold," the ghost spat, "even now he mindlessly attacks despite knowing nothing will come of it, heedless of the fact that every move he makes puts you in ever increasing peril!"

Topaz eyes widened, the brawler realizing with a jolt that of course this being a test, there was more to consider here than just being mocked by the ghost of their most dreaded enemy. Flinging himself back several steps, Raphael felt his gaze drawn up to the swinging blade, gaping in horror when he realized it had dropped several feet, "No," the crimson ninja breathed, "why…?"

"Are you really so dense?" The Shredder sighed.

Another fierce snarl, followed quickly by a devastating jab of gleaming steel through the specter's stomach, disappearing into the grey smoke, "Shut up!"

The attempt was only rewarded by more derisive laughter from the hulking figure, "Yes," the ghost sneered, "continue your barrage of pathetic attacks, they have as much value as you, and also only serve to bring your brothers ever closer to their inevitable death!"

"No!" The brawler howled, "I won't do that ta them!"

"You already are!" The Shredder clone countered, "they're a hairsbreadth away from their doom because you're too weak to save them."

"Raphie!" Mikey shrieked as the pendulum swung close enough to disturb their mask tails in the breeze of its wake, "Do something, bro?!"

"Getting a little too close for comfort, Raph!" Donnie echoed, his features a harsh grimace as he plastered himself against the table away from the gleaming blade.

Once again Raphael froze in horror, watching his brothers as they squirmed on the table, unable to stop the swinging blade as it continued to lower towards the captive figures of his siblings, "Stop it!" The brawler howled, swinging the sai in a downward strike that would have laid his enemy's chest wide open if not for the figure being intangible, "Make that thing stop! Now!"

The specter gave a derisive sigh, "How?" He asked in a deadpan tone, "I do not control its descent, that lays completely in your hands."

"My…?" Raph didn't understand, how did he have control over the pendulum?

That was when he noticed something odd, that when his movement stopped, so did the blade. Wait….were they connected? The pendulum only fell when he was attacking the Shredder. Was that it? His greatest fear….his greatest foe…a familiar battleground bathed in woe. That was what the riddle on the door said. Was it not speaking of the Shredder? If not, then what? Who else could possibly be a greater foe than Shredder? The liquid gold gaze widened, revelation slithering down his spine. Unless it wasn't a who, or rather more of a what. Raph captured his bottom lip between his teeth, biting hard enough to almost break the skin. His greatest foe, a familiar battleground. What if…what if, all this time, the answer was…himself?

The pieces of the puzzle fell into place with ominous clicks that echoed through the brawler's mind.

It was just like Leo's first test. They were alike in this, after all. Both older brothers their own worst enemy. Leonardo because he felt the need to bear the weight of the world on his own shoulders. Raphael because he felt like he was waging a one turtle war against humanity, against the world. Both holding themselves accountable for things beyond their control, both resigned to an emotional and mental prison held shut by bars made up of their own supposed inadequacies. However, Leo's test came to an end when he acknowledged that the only one actually voicing his failures and denying him a place in their family was him. Which means that Raphael's test was all about how he had yet to gain his own form of emotional balance, acknowledging his own greatest weakness.

His temper. His old foe, responsible for countless injuries and failed missions. A battleground worn down and covered in scars from how many times the brawler had attempted, and failed, to grapple it into submission. While he may have grown a lot in the past year and half, it seems he still had some work to do.

With a stifled sob, Raphael fell to his knees, slamming his sai into the ground, eyes clenched shut, "I won't rise to yer bait anymore, ya scumbag," he snarled quietly, tears staining his red mask a deeper shade of crimson, "and I'm not gonna be responsible fer puttin' my brothers in danger because of my weakness. I'm gonna be better, and I'm gonna prove ya wrong. Bet on it!"

"Is that your final answer?" The specter intoned, glowing red eyes narrowing.

A flutter of anxiety shot a dart of doubt through the brawler's heart, but Raphael held firm. All his life he'd been the angry one, the turtle who punched first and asked questions later. His temper was legendary among friends and foes alike. However, if this year had taught him anything, it was that his family needed him, not his fury. Yes, Leo said that he relied on the hothead's strength to pull them through missions, but their leader had also lamented Raphael's lack of foresight and impatience many times before that. Not that the brawler ever listened, he was stubbornly content with his cantankerous self. However, if passing this test and saving their lives meant trying something new, who was Raphael to refuse?

"Yeah," he nodded, finally lifting his head to cast a hard, determined gaze on his enemy, "final answer, I won't fight. Not if my temper ends up bringin' them down with me."

In one abrupt motion, the image of the Shredder dissolved into a billowing cloud of ash, drifting through the air in grey specks, settling on the ground. The table holding the three brothers also dissolved, leaving the blue, purple and orange ninja to fall to the floor with undignified yelps of surprise. Raphael didn't move, his shoulders slumping in sudden fatigue, head bowed in shame. While he wasn't surprised about the contents of his test, acknowledging that he'd always held a seed of fear that his brothers would suffer harm because of his inadequacy, it was still a slap in the face to admit it out loud. No wonder Leo was such a mess in the caves. To have your most vulnerable parts literally put on display, for all to see? Raphael could officially say he wasn't a fan. A wave of empathy welled up in the brawler's heart. Poor Leo had to go through this over and over again back the last time they were tested. Thankfully, he only had the one trial.

Footsteps echoed behind him, and Raph pulled in a steadying breath before lifting his head. Predictably, concerned sapphire eyes were looking at him, the leaf green head cocked contemplatively, almost as if Leonardo could see into his soul. The brawler stifled a bitter laugh. Who knows, maybe he could? Leo placed a hand on Raphael's shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze, "You okay, otouto?" He rasped, voice barely above a whisper.

The hothead clenched his eyes shut once again, a flurry of emotions slapping his senses askew. It'd been so long since he'd heard Leo call him that, surely since before the night at foot tower when their leader disappeared for nigh unto five months. Hearing it again, after so much had happened, it did strange things to the turtle. It made him feel weak and vulnerable, but not in a bad way. It drove home the fact that he, too, was a younger brother and the burden he'd been carrying wasn't one he had to bear alone. It also reminded Raph of how much he'd really missed the simple devotion of his brothers, even though they'd just enjoyed over two months of spending unlimited time together. An overwhelming rush of love for their small family smothered the crimson ninja, and Raphael couldn't resist its weight.

In an uncharacteristic display of emotion, Raph soundlessly reached up and wrapped his arms around his brothers. Breathing in their scent as he nuzzled each head, the warbling chirp of their primitive language whispering up his throat, calling for his nest mates. The things he wanted to say couldn't be put into words, not human ones at least. The shame he felt that he'd allowed his temper to become the source of his greatest test, the relief that they weren't killed because of him stealing the air from his lungs, the sheer exhaustion from their many adventures weighing on him heart and soul. How tired he was. The longing he felt to be a tot again, to return to simpler times, even if only for a few moments. Each could be voiced as he chirped to the turtles who knew him best.

Feeling the weight of the moment, the siblings were quick to reciprocate, providing soothing chuffs and chirrs to their struggling brother as they gathered him into their arms. Raph drank up the affection with all the enthusiasm of a flower absorbing sunlight, greedily taking as much as they could give, reveling in the fact that he had been blessed with such amazing and supportive siblings. The family stayed like that for several minutes, no one speaking beyond the guttural chirrs and chirps, until Raphael eventually pulled away.

The siblings watched him warily, but the brawler waved a hand, cheeks coloring in embarrassment, "I'm fine," he grunted, wiping his cheeks free from the incriminating dampness glistening on the scales, "just, uh, kinda overwhelmed, I guess."

Leonardo gave his immediate younger brother an understanding smile, "I get that," he nodded, "I know you probably don't want to, at least not now, but if you ever need to talk, I'm here."

"I know," Raph nodded, then heaved a sigh as he stood, "let's get outta here? This place gives me the creeps."

Mikey groaned as he gave a theatrical shiver, "You're telling me!" He whined, "I knew that these tests were gonna be rough, but the last thing I expected was to be playing the leading role in a Vincent Price movie."

"The Pendulum, seriously?" Donnie snickered, "Not that you don't have a point, but still, a little on the nose, don't you think?"

"Considering I was almost vivisected by one such pendulum," the youngest stated with a haughty sniff, "I'm perfectly entitled to the comparison."

Leonardo rolled his eyes at their bickering, gesturing towards the door leading out of the chamber, "I'm with Raph, let's head on out," he smirked, "besides, we have a lot more people waiting on us to finish than we did last time."

…..

Donatello gave a heavy swallow as they made their way out of Raph's test and into the connecting tunnel. To say he wasn't looking forward to his own would be a massive understatement.

To see Raphael, their crazy brother who had a lust for battle that would put a Gaelic berserker to shame, scared and vulnerable like that, it was as much of a shock as seeing Leonardo sobbing into his knees back at the caves. Granted, the brawler had been a lot more open emotionally with his brothers, particularly Leo, in the last two months. Something about their leader leaving so suddenly had almost broken Raph. However, it was still shocking to hear their hotheaded punk give the warbling chirps normally reserved for the younger brothers. To some that wouldn't be a big deal, but to the genius, it was highly significant. It just goes to show how much the trial truly rattled their brother.

That little nugget of information lodged a concrete ball of dread firmly in the scientist's stomach. He really wasn't looking forward to his test.

"You okay, Donnie?"

The genius startled out of his thoughts, brown orbs whirling around to find the youngest looking at him with a worried gaze. Donatello huffed out a nervous laugh, clearing his throat as he cast his eyes back down the floor, "Yeah," he nodded hesitantly, "just nervous since it's my turn next."

Mikey winced sympathetically, his own baby blues dimming in dread, "You can say that again," he sighed, falling into step next to his sibling, arms crossed across his plastron, "I'm not too thrilled, myself. It's one thing to be tested, but I never realized how hard it was to watch my brothers get ripped apart emotionally. Not until the caves with Leo, at least. Can't say it's any better now."

"No kidding," Donatello muttered, then shook his head, "I'm just glad we're going through this together. I'd hate to have to do it alone."

"You and me both, bro." Mikey nodded, the pursed his lips in careful thought, "You think Raphie is going to be okay?"

Don nodded, confident in their hothead's fortitude, "He'll be fine," the genius turtle smiled, "he might be a little shaken, but he'll bounce back to his old self."

Speaking of their older brother, scientist paused to check on their older siblings, looking over his shoulder to see Leonardo and Raph exchanging a whispered conversation. The brawler still held a haunted look in his eyes, while their leader's features were wreathed in compassion. No doubt Leo was sharing some hard-earned wisdom from the experience they shared the last time. The crimson turtle was listening intently, topaz eyes heavy with ghosts from the trauma endured at the hands of their enemy. Leonardo's sapphire gaze was also dark, but more with the weight of the knowledge they were imparting. While Donnie couldn't say he'd enjoyed the last eight months of their life, certainly still suffered his own nightmares from the interminable weeks of their leader being missing, he could certainly admit that he was so happy to see how Raph and Leo's relationship had grown and matured. It was a healthy, brotherly relationship, one that was built on respect and love.

Just the fact that Raphael could go through such a gut-wrenching test and come out seeking his brothers, instead of pushing them away to maintain his tough guy façade, spoke volumes in how much the brawler had changed for the better.

This made Donatello give pause. Had he grown as much over the last year and a half?

The scientist chewed his bottom lip, an uncomfortable dissatisfaction growing in the pit of his stomach. Everyone had changed for the better in some way, even their father, but what about him? True, he didn't spend nearly as much time cooped up in his lab as he used to and has gone to great lengths to enjoy quality time with his family more than before. However, Donatello couldn't pinpoint a single example of his changing, not the way he could with Raph or Mikey. What did that say about him?

"Donnie, we're here."

The purple ninja sighed, lifting the chocolate brown gaze up to the black obsidian doors that were about to spell out his doom, "I guess I have no choice," Donatello murmured to himself, "it's time to face the music, whether I've grown or not."

Leonardo, just as he had done with Raphael's, stepped forward to read the rhyme as it appeared in glowing green, "What does the future hold," the leader's voice said, confusion evident in its tones, "precious treasure or glittering fool's gold? For Donatello to find his place, first his greatest regret he must face. Choose now the path you'll tread, whether one of peace or endless dread."

Donnie grimaced. His greatest regret? There were too many to count in that regard. All the times he'd failed his family due to overlooking some key piece of information, or even creating a giant mess that his siblings were forced to clean up over misbegotten curiosity, each needled at the genius' conscience. However, the last part of the riddle intrigued the turtle, making worry grow thorny vines around his heart and mind. Endless dread. That wasn't encouraging. Lightening bolts of anxiety arced Donnie's scalp, his heartbeat reacting as it quickened its pace. A green hand clenched into a fist over his plastron, trembling as Donatello drew in a deep breath through his nose, then slowly exhaled out his mouth. He repeated this process several times, aware that he was being watched, but allowing himself to be vulnerable in front of his siblings and team. Eventually the heartbeat slowed, and Don felt a whisper of confidence slowly blossom in his spirit.

He would be fine. His brothers had his back, and he wouldn't be going through this alone. He just needed to walk through the door and face his fears. Heh, easier said than done.

Slapping his hands on either side of the double doors, Donatello grunted in the effort of pushing them open, narrowed brown eyes unsurprised when the green smoke billowed through and took them captive, just as it had last time. The familiar tugging pulled the turtle through the portal, transporting them into yet another testing ground. Donnie grit his teeth, bracing himself for the worst as the mist parted, but still couldn't hold back the strangled gasp that wrenched itself from the clenched jaw.

New York, but not as they knew it, at least, not as his brothers knew it. However, to Donatello, it was all too horrifyingly familiar.

The old Y'lyntian lair lay around them in crumbling tatters. The walls destroyed, broken pipes and wires hung from the walls. The pool dried up and full of debris. Michelangelo glanced around, baby blue eyes wide, "Dude," he breathed, "what happened? Why are we here?"

Leonardo's gaze narrowed in confusion as he examined their surroundings, "I don't remember the damage to the lair being like this," he said, "when I came back from Japan, I distinctly recall a large hole being in that wall, and why is the tunneler still here? I thought Mikey used that to escape?"

"I did," the youngest nodded, "that's how I got me and Klunk away from Karai and her footbots."

Their leader turned to Donatello, concern evident on his face, "Donnie, where are we?"

Donnie tried to answer, but his mouth was dry, and the words he wanted to say were strangled in a ball in his throat. A sandpaper tongue attempted to wet equally dry lips, but once again the genius was at an impasse. He could only shake his head, head and heart in a tailspin.

"Come on, bro," Mikey pleaded, worry infecting his features, "you need to tell us something. This is your test, so I get it's hard, but we can't help you if we don't know what's going on."

"I agree, Don, why don't you tell him where you are? And while you're at it, explain how you single-handedly sent your brothers to their deaths?"

Green shoulders hunched at the unexpected and unwanted voice. Donatello bit his lips as he struggled to maintain his composure but found it quickly slipping away. He had hoped it wouldn't be here. Almost begged the universe that he be spared ever having to relive this very moment ever again. However, the universe seemed to still have a low opinion of their family, as once again, his wishes had been blatantly ignored. Slowly, hesitantly, Donnie turned to cast grieved eyes onto the representation of his brothers' seemingly future selves. While he knew in his heart that this was no longer a future to be concerned about, especially with their traveling to see Cody as well as the changes allowing them to move to Avalon, it didn't lessen the blow of seeing what could have become of their family. Had they never ventured to the caves and grown as a family, this very well could have been their future.

The future Leonardo stood in all his blind glory, scarred face hid behind the dark sunglasses, but still prominent enough to be evident. Raph stood to the blind ninja's left, arms crossed, a sneer of disgust and mistrust wreathed across his features. Obvious to anyone looking that he had no wish to be there, especially with present company included. Worst of all, to the right and towards the back of the group, stood Michelangelo devoid of his right arm and wearing a dark look lacking the usual sparkle of humor the youngest was known for. They were just as he remembered, full of anger and bitterness, distinctly separate from each other, the only clue to their brotherly ties being the family resemblance and very little else.

"Yeah, Don," the future Raph spat, his one remaining eye glaring daggers at their younger counterparts, "or about how ya disappeared on yer family and left us ta rot?"

Donnie shook his head, "…No…" he rasped, voice reduced to a trembling whisper, "I'd never do that. I'd never leave!"

"Are ya sure about that, Donnie-boy?" the brawler snarled, "Because I think ya can, and have probably already thought about it."

Once again, the scientist jerked his head from side to side in a vehement denial, "Never!" He gasped, "I'd never abandon my family!"

"Pardon me if I beg to disagree," Michelangelo bit out in short, clipped syllables, "because last I checked, you already did!"

"No," the scientist refused, clenching his eyes shut, "Nonononono!"

Donatello backed away from the specters, body trembling hard enough to shake his Bo staff. He didn't want to be here. Didn't want to allow his brothers a front row seat to the ghosts that haunted his nightmares. The ghosts of the brothers he'd failed and sent to their deaths. Tears welled in the corners of the brown eyes, and as Donnie whirled away from the angry spirits, he ran out the gaping maw that used to be their front door and disappeared into the sewers.

Hello everyone. I know it's been a hot minute since I updated. Life has been….difficult. The new job isn't working out and has stressed me out to the point I've been suffering panic attacks. It's not easy and I'm once again on the job hunt.

I'd appreciate any comments you can spare, and thank you so much for your continued support!