The next day it was Lloyd's turn for a visit. He came into the room all bright and smiley. "You're looking good." Says Jay, he hadn't seen Lloyd since the night he left. His hair was a bit longer, skin sporting a healthy looking tan.
"You're looking, well, better than before." Says Lloyd gently. Jay frowns. "I came and saw you when you were in the ICU." Explains Lloyd.
"Right." Says Jay while looking down. It was so weird that everyone else could remember that big empty hole in his head.
"How long has it been since you went outside?" Asks Lloyd, trying to move the conversation away from ICU.
"A while." Says Jay, realising the last time he was outside was probably when he was stuck on that hill.
"Ok, we're going outside." Declares Lloyd before disappearing to fetch a wheelchair. Jay's endurance definitely wouldn't let him walk that far yet.
Lloyd takes Jay out to one of the courtyards. Jay had forgotten how nice it felt to have the warm sunlight on his skin, a slight breeze tickling his hair. The sound of birds and rustling leaves were a lovely change from the drab hospital noises. The scent of real flowers was much better than disinfectant and air fresheners, even if it did bring on a coughing fit. Jay clutches his side as the fit passes.
"How's the rib?" Asks Lloyd, continuing to push the chair.
"Still bruised, but feeling better than before." Says Jay. It wasn't a lie, the coughing was much less painful than it had been those first few days.
Lloyd parks Jay by a bench before going off to get some drinks from the cafe. He comes back with a cup of cocoa for each of them.
"Thanks." Says Jay before taking a sip. "It's nice, being outside."
Lloyd smiles. "Yeah, it's one of the best parts of my job. I get to be outside most of the time."
They sip at the cocoa, Jay staring off into space.
"Something on your mind?" asks Lloyd. Cole had warned him about the spacing out, but what if he was just deep in thought? He would have a lot to think about if he was in Jay's shoes.
Jay sighs. "I'm worried about Cole."
Lloyd raises an eyebrow, "Ok, maybe I can help. What's making you worry?" he asks gently
Jay frowns slightly, deep in thought. "I think Cole blames himself. He tries to hide it, but he's worried about me."
Lloyd scoffs, "Of course he's worried about you, we all are. That's what friends do, we worry."
Jay continues to frown. "He keeps wearing that necklace.."
"What necklace?"
"The one he made from vengestone."
It's Lloyd's turn to frown, "Why would Cole make a necklace out of vengestone?"
"For me." Says Jay timidly. "I think I hurt someone, when I was out of it."
Lloyd's frown deepens, he hadn't heard about this at all. "Is that what Cole said, that you hurt someone?"
Jay shakes his head, clutching the cup, "Would he tell me if I did? He couldn't even tell me.. When I was waking up I forgot some things, I was asking about Nya. He didn't tell me."
Lloyd lets out a sigh, now especially glad he had made the trip. Jay needed someone to talk to, someone who wasn't Cole.
"If Cole says you didn't hurt someone, then you didn't hurt anyone, ok? I can check with the staff if you want." He looks at Jay, who still looks uncertain. "And even if you did, it was an accident right? You weren't trying to hurt anyone."
"I think I'm hurting Cole." Says Jay.
"You're not hurting Cole, you are hurting, and that hurts Cole, but you're not the one hurting him." Jay looks confused. Lloyd sighs and tries again. "It's just an unfortunate side effect of having friends, when they get hurt, you hurt too. Like Nya. Nya didn't hurt you, Nya would never hurt you, but her loss did. You aren't hurting Cole, your injury is."
Jay takes a moment to process the words. "But it's my fault.." he says.
"No, it's not. It was an accident. You didn't jump off that cliff.." Lloyd pauses, suddenly unsure, he had been away for a while, could Jay have become suicidal? "Did you?" he adds nervously.
Jay shakes his head. "There was a landslide."
Lloyd gives a small sigh of relief. It didn't seem like Jay was lying. "You're gonna be ok Jay, right now everything sucks, but it's going to get better, you just need to stick around and see it. If you want to help Cole, you just need to do that."
Lloyd takes Jay back to his room. After handing back the wheelchair he sees Cole at the vending machine and walks over to him.
"Oh hey, how'd it go?" asks Cole. Lloyd walks right up to him and reaches out for the string on his neck, he manages to lift the necklace slightly, revealing the vengestone before Cole slaps his hand away. "What the hell man?" says Cole.
"Why are you wearing that?" Says Lloyd with a frown, crossing his arms.
"Oh, hey Lloyd, nice to see you too." says Cole sarcastically, putting his hands on his hips. Lloyd raises an eyebrow, still waiting for an answer. Cole feels his face start to flush. "It's none of your business." he says before turning back to the vending machine. He didn't fully understand why he was still wearing it, why wearing it felt right, why he wanted to feel weak right now. And he definitely didn't want to talk to Lloyd about it.
"It's freaking Jay out." says Lloyd.
Cole turns back to him, a look of confusion on his face. "What? Why?"
Lloyd uncrosses his arms, "Gee, I dunno, cause you made it to constrain him, and you're keeping it in arms reach at all times?" Cole slaps a palm on his face, realising his mistake. "He thinks he hurt someone." adds Lloyd.
Cole's heart sinks. "What, but I told him.."
"Did he?"
"No!"
"Did you?"
"No!"
"Well, something must have happened, if you're keeping it around."
Cole sighs. "The first time he was waking up he fried one of the monitors, I grabbed his hands, but he was so weak, it was just a bit tingly, he didn't hurt me."
Lloyd grabs Cole's hands, inspecting them for damage. "Hey!" objects Cole, but doesn't pull away, "Could you ask first, before grabbing at me again?" Lloyd releases his hands, they look fine.
"I think you should tell him more about what happened, otherwise his imagination is going to fill in the gaps."
Cole grabs nervously at his elbow, remembering yelling at Jay to stop. Did he have to tell him that part? "Fine, I'll try." he says. Tomorrow. "Anything else I should know about?"
Lloyd sighs, "Let me know if you ever need a break, ok? He's worried about you."
"Worried about me? He's the one who.."
Lloyd cuts him off, "Stop it, you sound just like him, it's adorable, but seriously, look after yourself, and ditch the necklace." he says as he turns and walks away.
"Oh how I've missed your leaderly advice!" yells Cole after him, again with sarcasm. He then gives a big sigh before taking off the necklace. He shoves it into a pocket, hoping Jay won't be able to see it there.