Author's note: Thanks again to Lucy! Merry early Christmas, everyone!

Captain's Personal Log: 2275.299

It has officially been three months since the disaster that was Lantax II. Well- disaster might be a strong word. The Collins people have not yet contacted us, but that's because Catherine de Bourgh's journey there was delayed for a couple of months. Completely not my fault. As far as I can tell there weren't any lasting effects other than what seems to be a partial loss of respect from my second in command.

Professionally speaking, Darcy is actually one of the best officers I've ever worked with. We're crazy in sync. It's almost like he can predict what I'm asking for before I ask for it. We still meet at least once or twice a week outside of work responsibilities, and we often have lunch with each other or with our common friends. Oh! And I can finally read his facial expressions... somewhat. I can tell when he's happy, or frustrated, or even hungry. It's been a handy skill to have. However, I still have trouble reading his face at some moments. Whenever I catch him looking at me at random times, I cannot-for the life of me- tell what he's thinking. It's sort of a cross between a contemplative expression and an intense glare. Sometimes I feel like he's trying to intimidate me or figure out how to take my job. Joke's on him though. My confidence will usually increase when someone is trying to rid me of it.

Personally speaking though, it turns out Darcy is kind of a... well...

I know this is my personal log, and I know nobody is going to read it, but I don't know how to say this even semi-professionally.

The man's a cockblock.

U.S.S. Longbourn, en route to Starbase 434: 2275.298 (the day before)

Lizzie quickly grabbed her pasta and veggie plate from the replicator in the mess hall and headed toward where she could see her friends sitting. The quiet chatter and laughter from her crew members soothed her after a frustrating day of paperwork. She nodded a hello to Jane and Bingley, who seemed to be in their own world at the other end of the table and barely acknowledged her back. James and Charlotte were sitting next to each other, so Lizzie took the empty seat next to Darcy.

James leaned forward conspiratorially. "So, I heard you two have plans tonight," James stage whispered while gesturing between Lizzie and Charlotte.

U.S.S. Longbourn was scheduled to dock at one of the starbases that evening for minor repairs, and Captain Bennet was granting leave to all crew members who wanted a break.

Lizzie cleared her throat delicately as she absentmindedly switched the garlic knot on her plate for the plain rye toast next to Darcy's soup. Darcy nodded in thanks while Lizzie addressed James.

"Yes," she sighed dramatically while picking up her silverware, "dear Charlotte here has agreed to be my wingman for the night. We'll be hitting up a bar on the starbase."

She looked up to the shocked faces of her friends. "Why... why are you both looking at me like that? Charlotte, we discussed this."

"Uh, no, I remember that-" Charlotte tilted her head while pointing at their plates, "but what was that? You guys sharing food now?"

Darcy continued to look down at his food while James smirked knowingly at him from across the table.

"Oh, I don't even think about it anymore," Lizzie chuckled while glancing up at Darcy. "We have dinner a lot together, and noticed for these specific meals that we like the other's bread options more."

James raised an eyebrow at them. "And you can't just reprogram your food choices?"

"Eh, that takes work," Lizzie shrugged. Darcy continued to eat his food nonchalantly, even with his cousin smiling maniacally at him from across the table.

"You were saying you and Dr. Lucas had plans tonight?" Darcy's interest had James squinting suspiciously at him. William never cared about his coworkers' personal plans before.

Bingley, on the other hand, loved hearing about his friends' lives, and managed to tear himself away from staring at Jane long enough to ask "Are you guys taking advantage of the leave tonight?

Charlotte snickered before responding with a sly smile. "I'm gonna help Lizzie get some tonight. I'm a very good wingman. Wingwoman? Wingperson? Anyways, we're heading to a bar that was recommended by an old friend from the academy."

James wolf whistled while Charles laughed. Darcy interjected before his cousin could say something that was no doubt going to be inappropriate. "I am a little confused; Captain Bennet is going to get 'some' of what?"

If anything, his question made James laugh harder while Lizzie tried not to blush. "She's finding someone to do the horizontal mambo with," James whispered conspiratorially.

At Darcy's blank stare, his cousin waved his hand while trying out some more idioms. "Captain Bennet is going to bump uglies. Knock boots. Do the no pants dance. Shag. Play hide the cannoli. A little slap and tickle-"

"Oh dear god, I cannot hear anymore of this," Jane uncharacteristically interrupted James' spiel. "Commander Darcy, Charlotte is going to help Lizzie find a suitable sexual partner tonight. That is the meaning of 'wingman.'"

Lizzie couldn't help but wince as she practically felt Darcy tense next to her. Like she needed the give the man any more reasons to judge her needy human habits. Damn her embarrassment. She should not be ashamed of wanting romantic company. "Not necessarily a sexual partner. I just need to go out and meet more potential partners."

Darcy glanced around the crowded mess hall. "This ship alone has dozens of acceptable potential partners. Would not finding a fellow crew member be an easier and more convenient task?"

Fitzwilliam coughed up the water he had been in the process of sipping, ignoring Charlotte's disgusted look when he sprayed a little on the table. "Did you have a specific crew member in mind there, Will?"

"No," Darcy glared at him across the table. "I am simply questioning the logic of searching for a long term partner outside of your domain, especially in a sequestered environment such as ours."

Elizabeth tried to quash the frustration she felt at her second in command doubting her on personal matters, but some irritation seeped out of her words. "Look, it's inappropriate for a captain to date anyone on their ship, regardless of if they felt like it. I'm literally everyone's boss here; it's awkward. Also, I think it's a terrible idea to date someone that you'll be stuck on a ship with for years at a time. I know you can just transfer, but it seems like such a hassle for something that could've been avoided in the first place."

Her friends quieted at her logic, and tried not to make eye contact with the people they were interested in dating sitting at the same table.

"I would actually like to witness what exactly a 'wingman' does. I am unfamiliar with their responsibilities. Perhaps James and I could join you and Dr. Lucas tonight. " Darcy stated while looking at the captain for permission.

Although a little uncomfortable with the idea, Lizzie thought Darcy was looking at this event from a anthropological standpoint, and could not deny the man the chance to learn more about human behavior first hand.

"Yeah, we can meet you guys there around 1900," Lizzie said unenthusiastically, already picturing all the ways she could be mortified in front of the commander.

"Captain, if you're done with lunch I have some modifications in engineering that need your approval before tonight," Charlotte asked, sensing that her friend could use a little space.

Lizzie assented, and turned back toward Darcy as they stood up. "We're still on for dinner tomorrow night, Commander? I'm interested in hearing your thoughts about the book I recommended."

"Of course, Captain." Darcy nodded in agreement before Charlotte and Lizzie walked off.

Jane and Charles quickly got absorbed into their previous conversation, and James leaned toward his cousin with a mischievous smile. "You don't give a rat's ass about 'wingman' responsibilities. What are you up to?"

"On the contrary, I find that the observation of such an important human courtship ritual will be intriguing."

"Bullshit, this has to do with your big-ass crush on the captain," James whispered accusedly before pointing to his untouched bread. "You don't even like garlic, you little liar! I've heard you call it 'overpowering' and 'distasteful' on multiple occasions. "

Darcy pointedly picked up the garlic knot before taking a large bite and narrowing his eyes at his cousin. "Prove it."

Charlie's Bar on Starbase 434, at 1915 hours

Lizzie and Charlotte sat at the counter, slowly sipping on stale beer as they waited for the rest of their group to arrive. The bar was in a fairly old building. The paint was beginning to peel and the metal chairs were rusting in places. Despite the rather stark surroundings, the place was packed with Starfleet officers.

"What about him?" Charlotte asked while nodding her head at a man 4 seats down from them. Lizzie covertly glanced over her shoulder, and immediately turned back to her friend.

"Pass. I saw him being shitty to the bartender earlier."

"Alright, how about that guy?" she gestured to a man across the room who was wearing a suit and tie.

"Pass! Dude's like 60 years old, Char. And honestly, who wears clothes like that to a bar on a starbase?" Lizzie hissed quietly.

"First of all, picky, he's probably closer to 50. And still rocking it, or I wouldn't have said anything. I like a little salt and pepper."

Lizzie was saved from responding when she noticed Jane, Bingley, Darcy and James walking in. To her surprise, Mary was trailing behind. Unlike the rest of them she had not changed out of her uniform and was sporting her usual expressionless look.

They walked over to greet their friends and show them the empty booth in the corner they had reserved. Charles and Jane slid in the booth, and James and Darcy sat across from them. Mary pulled up a chair to the end and stiffly sat there as Charlotte and Lizzie took everyone's drink order.

When they got to Darcy he politely asked for a water. Lizzie didn't know why, but for some reason she felt a spark of irritation. What was it about this man that constantly had her on edge?

"You know," Lizzie spoke quietly to the commander before they walked to the bar, "it's socially expected that people drink alcohol when they're in a bar with friends."

"I am aware of that standard. However, as ethanol does not affect me as it does humans, paying for it is wasteful," Darcy replied smoothly, sounding as if he had given this explanation multiple times over his adulthood.

"Wait, you can't get drunk?" Lizzie was shocked. Did this man ever have any stress release?

James butted in at this point. "Not on alcohol. But one time-"

"I cannot become intoxicated on ethyl alcohol, no." Darcy seemed to be trying to convey to his cousin that he needs to stop talking.

James held his hands up, and Lizzie looked suspiciously at them before letting go of the conversation. Tonight was about meeting men that didn't work with her.

2 hours later:

"Anyways, that's basically what I do. They offered me the manager position after 3 weeks of working there, but hey- it seems that too much hassle and I don't need that kind of headache. I mean..."

Lizzie tried to continue smiling at the guy chatting her up in the corner of the bar, but she could feel her face muscles start to spasm. She casually glanced at her watch as he continued to talk about his job. She had only been talking with him for ten minutes, but it felt like forever.

His words trailed off as he saw something catch his eye. "Do you know that man?" he asked while subtlety pointing at Darcy across the room.

Her second in command was sitting at the same booth with Charlotte, Jane, Bingley, and a pretty blond woman she didn't recognize. Despite the fact that Bingley was obviously trying to involve him in the conversation, he just kept glaring in her general direction. Although she was curious as to why the stranger was very clearly awkwardly chatting with Jane and Bingley, she ignored it for the moment.

Lizzie waved her hand and tried to make it seem that his death stare didn't bother her. "I work with him."

"Oh," the man turned back toward her, but was clearly unsettled. "Is he your boss?"

"Uh, no. The opposite," Lizzie bit out. "If you'll excuse me, I think my friend needs me," she lied while gesturing to Charlotte at the bar. She didn't wait to hear his reply before walking away.

Charlotte was in the middle of trying to wave down the bartender when Lizzie walked up and laid her head down dramatically on the sticky counter. "That's the third strike-out tonight. When did one night stands become so difficult?"

Her friend scoffed and finally gave up trying to get a drink. "What happened to 'not necessarily a sexual partner?'"

"Yeah, well, at this point that seems downright impossible. I'd settle for just getting laid. I mean, is it me? Is it this bar? Should we try somewhere else? Where did James go?"

"James apparently can't hold his liquor like he used to. Drank too much too quickly. He went back to the ship." Charlotte grimaced apologetically at her friend as she nodded her head at something behind Lizzie. "As for the first part, it looks like it might be you because at least one of the group is going home with someone." Lizzie turned in time to see her an attractive redhead in a slinky dress trail her finger up and down Mary's arm where she was seated a couple of feet away. After some quiet talking, Mary got up and escorted the woman out the bar, her hand on the woman's lower back the entire time.

"What?! Oh come on, Mary wasn't even looking for a fling tonight! Also, did you see her? That girl was like a solid 9, and I can't even find someone who I'm remotely interested in. I think Darcy is scaring away any potentials. He still looking at me?"

Charlotte looked over her shoulder quickly toward the booth in the corner. "Yes, actually. Poor baby's jealous," her friend pouted overdramatically before it morphed into a sly smirk.

A scoff escaped her before she could stop it. "Jealous? He's probably judging me for having human desires... as in I desire an orgasm that I didn't give myself. I'm betting he thinks he's above all that. I'm 90% sure that's why he's been staring. The little judgy- mcjudgerson."

"Oof sweet burn, bestie," Charlotte sarcastically complimented while taking the half finished drink out of Lizzie's hand and taking a sip. "I wonder if Darcy's any good in bed. He probably has that Vulcan precision, ya know. Knows all sorts of things about the female reproductive system."

"Okay, one," Lizzie scoffed while holding a finger up and trying not to blush, "inappropriate. Two," another finger joined it before she faltered, "the man didn't even know what a 'wingman' was. What makes you think he skipped straight over 'human courtships' to 'human sexuality?"

"Mmm just a hunch. But if you still want that orgasm I think I see somebody who might want to help," Charlotte sang lightly while looking at a man sitting down the bar from them.

Lizzie meant to stealthily look over her shoulder- she really did- but holy shit that man was hot and he was looking directly at her. Her jaw dropped a little bit, and she couldn't help but continue to make eye contact with him as he walked their way. Wavy brown hair, green eyes, a jawline that could cut glass? Yes, please.

"I knew I was a great wingwoman," Charlotte muttered as she walked away from the pair.

"Hey, what's a girl like you doing in a place like this?" the man murmured sensually as he finally came to a stop near her.

A snort escaped Lizzie before she could stop it. "That line ever work?"

The man smiled good- naturedly. "Sometimes. But if it doesn't tickle your fancy I can always rephrase. I'm George, George Wickham. What brings you to this starbase?"

"Oh, I'm with Starfleet. Our ship is currently getting some modifications so we're on shore leave. What's a boy like you doing in a place like this?"

George chuckled at his question being thrown back at him. "Just passing through. But that's interesting that you're with Starfleet; you barely look old enough to be a cadet, much less an officer." He leaned back on the counter, and turned to face her more. "I applied to the academy years ago, but was denied..." His statement trailed off before something in the back of the bar caught his eye and his face turned white as a ghost.

Lizzie followed his eyesight and sighed as she caught Darcy staring again. She was startled to see his glare was even more pronounced than usual. His face was tinted green like he was legitimately angry.

"Oh, sorry about him. Our commander is Vulcan, and tends to stare..." She turned back on him to see an ugly sneer on Wickham's face. At her words he straightened up and tried to flag the bartender down.

"Don't worry, I'm familiar with Darcy's moods. Or lack thereof," Wickham said, once again adopting a pleasant tone, despite his vitriolic words.

Lizzie's eyebrows almost disappeared into her hair. "You know Commander Darcy? What a small world."

Her companion was clearly struggling to stay calm. "You could say that. You guys work together? How well do you know him?"

"Yes, he's my second in command. He a great officer, but it's kind of hard to get to know him." Lizzie tried to quell her curiosity, but couldn't stop the question. "How do you know him?"

"My father was stationed on Vulcan a lot for work. I practically grew up with him and his sister. Have you met Georgiana?"

"No, but I've heard a little bit about her from Darcy. What's she like?"

George paused almost like he was measuring his words. "When she was little she was the cutest, most sweet girl. As she grew she started acting more like her brother and she grew up... judgmental and prideful. They always acted like they were better than me. A couple of years after their parents died, and they moved to Earth, I ran into him when I was touring Starfleet Academy. I was excited to reconnect, but he blew me off. I found out later Starfleet had denied my application based on his recommendation." George ended his story. He didn't sound angry or disappointed, just wistful.

Lizzie furrowed her brows in confusion. "Why would he do such a thing?"

"He probably thought I was too emotional or something. Who can possibly understand what goes through that man's head?"

Lizzie thought about Darcy's disapproving stare on her the entire night. He certainly did like to judge other's behavior. "You could always appeal the denial or re-apply."

Grinning, George shook his head slightly. "No, I'm happy with my current job. Sometimes I wonder how my life would be different if I got accepted, but I'm not going to let that get me down."

Lizzie nodded in understanding before George looked up at the clock. "Shit, I have to get back to work," he claimed regretfully. "Could I maybe have your phone number?"

Nodding bashfully, Lizzie handed wrote her number in his PADD while he smiled at her. "Alright, I'll call you," he said before taking one last meaningful look at Darcy and walking out the door.

As she walked toward the booth, she could see the blond stranger making excuses before hurriedly leaving the group.

"Who was that?" she asked as she slid in next to Charlotte. Jane and Bingley looked like they were trying to avoid eye contact and Darcy was looking slightly confused at something.

When Charlotte responded to her question it was a slight whisper. "I think Darcy was trying to 'wingman' Charles. He convinced that woman to come over here and tried to force a conversation between her and Bingley. It was very fucking awkward. Can we leave now? Or would you like to look around for another guy to hook up with?"

Several emotions coursed through her at once. Disappointment, at how shitty the night had turned out. Irritation, that Darcy had tried to find a date for Bingley when he was clearly interested in her sister. But mostly she just felt exhausted.

"Yeah, let's go back home."