My head felt as though it had been through a blender, making my stomach churn viciously. Alone once more in the room with no sign of the young man, I must have made him panic as he sought help. I could tell I had been given medication; the numbness in my limbs was apparent, as well as the bandage where they had stabbed a needle into my arm. I rubbed the back of my neck and felt bandages there too.
"Just as I was remembering something…" I muttered, sitting upright. As I was about to get off the bed, I noticed my clothes had changed. "Who touched me?!" I shouted angrily, knowing I could be heard. The intercom crackled to life, and Van's voice came through.
"You've come to… Are you feeling nauseous? Do you require anything to ease your pain?" Van spoke as usual over the speaker, completely ignoring my outcry and the fact that I had been changed without my consent.
"Best you answer me first as to who dared to touch me and change my clothes, Van." I growled, standing up to throw something at the small camera I knew was watching me. I heard him clear his throat awkwardly.
"I assure you that a female assistant changed your attire, mademoiselle. During your blackout, you were sweating profusely, and we did not wish for you to catch a chill." He stuttered something incoherently before trying again. "Your memories are coming back to you rather quickly, yet it seems you are incapable of handling the rate at which they come."
"So what you're saying is that I'm crashing from a memory overdose?" I said plainly, though it sounded silly. The clicking of a door was heard, and I looked to see the young man entering the room once more. "Come to see if I'm still alive?" I joked half-heartedly, eyeing him. He didn't seem fazed by my dark humor. Rather, the look on his face was pained, as though he were in trouble like a child.
"Of course," his tone gentle, it was his eyes that said something more, but I wasn't sure what it meant. "I worry of your health since your blackouts are rather difficult to predict. This tea I made should help ease your stress." Being careful entering the room, walking as though a startled doe in the forest, he placed the tea down on the nearest table and I could smell the rich aroma from the kettle.
"Tea…?" I repeated the offer presented to me and he nodded quietly. He poured me a cup, the scent of chamomile wafting my senses. Taking the offered cup and that first sip immediately relaxing, it was good. "Thank you. And I'm sorry for scaring you. I know my episodes are not pleasant." Feeling bad he'd gone through that and was probably the one who had to administer the medication in me, it didn't make the awkwardness any better. "Sorry, but did I ever catch your name?" I asked, tilting my head slightly.
A playful look took hold of him. His eyes widened for only a moment before he took a seat, placing his elbows on his knees to rest his chin on his hands. "…Are you sure? Perhaps it slipped your mind."
Was he seriously playing games with me? Must I really play along with this? I thought. "I'm certain I didn't hear it." He didn't answer right away, which made me really look at him, trying to figure him out. Rather than argue, I decided to play his game. "Then I know your name?"
"Yes."
Thinking carefully as I examined him quietly, I kept the conversation going. "We've met once before then?"
"Numerous times before."
Numerous times?
"Was it a long time ago or recently?"
"Both."
"That's not very helpful, young man. I need more than that to go on if I'm to recall your name." I scolded him, noticing he was holding back a snicker. He seemed to be enjoying watching me think and mull over his answers. But what I caught myself saying was another thing. "I'm treating you like some child here, and yet you haven't spoken out over it."
"Because it is only natural."
"Natural?" I mulled over his words and my thoughts, realizing he was having a delightful time messing with me.
"You and I have been with one another for a number of years. Even before I was born." His hint was overdone, but it somehow began a sequence of memories. I closed my eyes and let the images slowly come through as he spoke. "Each night and day, I would hear you call for me… We'd play on the beach, the sand warm beneath our feet as the waves crashed nearby… Roll in fields of wildflowers, their sweet scent filling the air as we laughed under the sun… Play hide and seek in the forest, the trees whispering secrets as we ran between them. I'd listen to you read stories of grand adventures, your voice bringing each tale to life, no matter what time of day it was. You would welcome me with open arms, your embrace always warm and comforting." His voice was so relaxing and pleasant to listen to as I took in his words and embraced the cognitive memories that were repressed.
My recollection from when I was in Okinawa hit me when I saw a child running at me when I met with Riku. The feeling at that time, making my chest swell and tighten over and over again, and becoming protective over Riku, was starting to make sense. But thinking the latter could be possible, I had been shrugging off the possibility entirely.
"How old were you?" I asked, swallowing the tea hard as I found myself slightly shaking. Was I getting nervous?
A smile creased his features as he knelt down beside me, his hand gently resting on my knee. The trepidation I felt was becoming palpable.
"I was perhaps three—maybe four years old… It's been a rather long time, so I can't recall exactly how old I was then. But I do remember this…" He leaned his head on my lap, his hair falling like silk onto my lap. A clear image of a young boy overlapped his face now—a young, spirited little boy with mud on his face and the biggest grin he could manage. Setting the cup down, I traced his face as the young boy faded away and merged with the young man I saw now. Hot tears stung my eyes, and words needed to escape my lips.
Hesitating, I braced the question that hung at the edge of my mind relentlessly. "Are you my son?" No… I do know his name. Seeing him waiting for me to say it made me smile and cry at the same time, unable to hide my ugly crying face. "Trae?" My voice quivered, the name struggling to form on my lips. I saw his expression fill with elation as the realization dawned on me. "Trae," I repeated, the name now flowing more easily, each repetition bringing more clarity and emotion.
"Mère… I entreat you to remember me… Don't let it overwhelm you." His eager gentleness was uplifting as I held onto him and allowed the memories to flow back. I probably repeated his name a hundred times over as he kept answering me in return. "Mère…" His hug was tight, his arms enveloping me with ease. I couldn't believe this was real. I had to question the reality to be sure it was no delusion.
"You keep calling me that… Am I really—are you truly my little Trae? You're so tall now—look at you! My baby boy…"
Pressing his lips upon my head and hugging me closer, he assured me that this was reality. "Yes…a thousand times over, yes. I am your son."
Unable to fully process all the finer details but knowing his words were true, I cried into his chest and wrapped my arms around his neck and didn't move. It could have been because the little boy I saw in my memories was so young that seeing him become a man made me cry so hard. Then again it could be because I'd forgotten him entirely that it broke my heart not seeing him grow up myself made me more emotional.
"I'm here now, Mère… You no longer have to fret about anything." His embrace was tight, grounding me as I managed to calm down enough to process the unbelievable reality. "All those subliminal images in your mind have been conveying your desire to remember. If we continue this way, you will recall everything you've lost, slowly and surely, in the safest manner possible."
"Trae… you've grown so much," I whispered, a deep sense of loss for his childhood looming in my soul. There was nothing I could do to change this fact. I ran my hand through his hair, transfixed by his features. "You look like a vintage portrait with your hair this long. Someone could easily mistake you for a painting if you dress so old-fashioned and remain still." I teased him, and his laughter, accompanied by that small dimple, filled me with warmth. As he looked fondly down at me, I realized this was the missing piece I had felt before. The reason for my emotions upon seeing Riku. I was—am a mother.
"Père will be ecstatic hearing this. Also," he got up and left the room and returned with something in hand in seconds. He was so quick about it that it took a few moments to register the speed he'd possessed to have done this. "Mère, this gift was given to me by Père several decades ago when I reached adulthood. He says this gift was from you when you believed to remain human and long past before I reached of age to receive it personally by you." He opened the intricate box and revealed a small brooch with a delicate picture fixated in the center of the emerald jewel. "I've kept this close to me…missing you each day as time passed without knowing what really happened to you. To see you now, time completely escaping you, alive and here before me brings me joy like no other."
I got up and approached Trae while looking at the brooch. Fond feelings swelled up and I smiled seeing my past self having gone the extra mile into making this and being sure it was perfect in every way. There was no doubt about anything here, nor the way my memories have been flooding back and restoring itself. I needed to know more.
"Trae, when can I see Solomon? There are many remaining questions left to be answered and I wish to see him."
"Everything will fall into place accordingly. Please don't fret. Père will return home as soon as his business is finished, he'll answer all the questions you want." Seeing as that remained to be true, I accepted it.
"…then…then can we do something together? Somewhere that isn't this 4-bedroom puzzle?"
He looked at the camera with a little discontent before back to me with a complicated look on his face. Giving it thought as he looked around the room once over, he seemed to conclude his thoughts.
"Then allow me to chaperone you. It's been a rather long time since you've returned to Bourges, the streets will not be the same as they once were."
"Has everything really changed that much?!"
He chuckled to my outburst and led me through the hidden door. The rooms I knew of were truly just a large room inside of another building with cameras located in every corner to watch me. The building itself outside the room looked so much like a hospital that I was really confused about being placed in such a complicated scenery to be evaluated.
"Monsieur Trae!" Van exclaimed. Nearly dropping his board and having to push his glasses up, he stumbled when he approached. "We have no clearance for the mademoiselle to leave this facility." Being so startled seeing me outside, he was truly beside himself in a panic.
"I will take the brunt of the trouble, Van, please finish the remaining tasks and bring the files to my office."
"Monsieur Trae, there is much to do that remains and I truly believe it best that she stays here for closer evaluation." Almost desperate as he spoke to him, he was almost shaking from being so nervous.
"If something is amiss, I will confide in you." Being slick with his words as Van became more troubled over this outcome, I was fascinated watching Trae. The more I watched I felt that I was getting a little closer to him and at least able to fill some of the void of the years I've missed.
"Hah…mademoiselle, please take these." Exasperated as he handed a pill bottle to me, he began to explain. "If you experience any severe headache or a moment of dizziness, please take one pill and it should regulate you. If this does nothing to subside the pain for you then please return to me immediately." Van was being quite serious but also very polite explaining this to me and I extended a hand to shake his with. "What's this?"
"A handshake, thank you for helping me regain some of my memories and monitoring me. Though I still have quite a few questions and certain qualms of everything happening, I do have you to thank for keeping me in check."
Taking my hand and gently shaking it before he dismissed himself, I looked to Trae with a triumphant look.
"Mère, shall we take our leave and begin our exploration of Bourges?"
"Oh, yes!"